Having Another Kid

No one can answer this for you.

You need to know what your family is capable of handling. Size of family is very much dependent on the family and what they want out of life. Large families means some sacrifices normally -- less vacations, more expenses (doctor, food, clothes, activities), travel is harder with a big brood... even "bargain" plane ticket prices means dropping 1-1.5k when you're flying 6 people. There are odd things to consider - like how hard it is to fit 4 carseats in cars that supposedly seat 6-7 "people".

Besides the practical adjustments to consider -- can you afford it? Are you self sufficient right now (no government support - healthcare/food/etc)? How much do you want to be able to help your kids -- first car? College? wedding? How would one more affect what you can do for your other three?

Lastly, do you want one more? This is the most important. If you have to ask a bunch of strangers... how bad do you really want another child? I just knew we weren't done, where I have friends that knew they WERE - be it one child or six... there is a comfort spot where your family will feel complete. Don't confuse baby fever with actually wanting another person in your family. It's like thinking puppies are adorable but not really wanting another dog.. I know I will miss being pregnant and nursing my newborn, but that doesn't mean our family needs to expand more. Make sure you can tell the difference in the pangs you're feeling.

If I were you -- I would be having this discussion with my husband, not a bunch of women on the internet. Maybe he can help you and chime in what is best for your family.

Good luck, whatever you two decide.

I hope you will not get pregnant unless and until you and your husband are both utterly sure that this is the best possible thing you can do for everybody concerned, including your existing children and any child-to-be. An old idea about "always wanting a big family" may not hold up in light of your actual, real-life experiences so far. By today's standards, three children is a good-sized family.

Since you still seem iffy about it, I hope you will consider that this is the single highest-impact decision you can make, not only for your own family, but for humanity at large. If you look at today's population growth on a graph, you'll see that the curve right now isn't even a curve – it's a line going almost straight up.

Environmental scientists have serious concerns about the Earth's ability to go on supporting such growth, which is making extraordinary demands on livable and farmable space, on other species, on non-renewable resources, on our atmosphere and oceans, on the climate, and even on other less-powerful societies.

I had these concerns more than 40 years ago, and as a result, limited my family to one child. My daughter has done the same. My concerns are far more urgent than ever. The children we bring into the world now may well face a much-diminished quality of life than we have enjoyed. I hope young parents will look toward more conservatively-sized families for the good of all our children.

You have to make that decision before you try and get pregnant. You are not yet decided... but you are on the shot already.
But still, you are not decided....
And you are asking us.... about this. Thus to me... you are not 100% fully decided... about this... at..... all......
But you are already on the shot..... ?

Are you trying for the opposite gender this time?
I have friends who did that. They still got the same gender.
One friend has 3 boys.
The other friend has 3 boys.
The other friend has 4 girls.
One Mom... gets so stressed.... her Hubby works a lot and is hardly home.. and sometimes, she needs prescription per her Doctor... for stress.

I don't know.
You have always wanted a big family. Well, what is a big family to you? How many kids??? For me personally, 3 kids is a 'big' family. Maybe not to others. It is really subjective....

Is your Husband decided about this? Or is he undecided too? Or are you mainly doing this for him???? Or for you??? Or is it a JOINT decision... and to be on the shot, now....?????

all the best,
Susan

If you have the time, patience, and money those would be the first things I would consider. Are you planning on sending your kids to college? The love will be there, I have no doubts about that....
I only had two and that was plenty for us. I'm sure it would be fun and exciting to have a housefull of giggling daughters, but it's work too. I had really easy pregnancies and deliveries but it was unrealistic for us to have more children, we just wouldnt have been able to afford it. I think I was about 32 the last time I had a craving to have another kid... but my girlfriends were quick to remind me how silly of an idea it was ;)

I agree with the one other poster so far - nobody here can answer that for you, this is something for you and hubby to decide and what you think you all can reasonably handle, both financially and otherwise. It's one thing to want a "big family" but how big is "big" and is it in the best interest of all concerned (including the other kids)?

I'm sorry if I sound discouraging, I don't mean to be, but that's just the reality of life. Having more kids may mean less "extras" for everyone, including sports, activities, vacation, etc. As they get older, there will be braces, driver's ed, college. It shouldn't be all about money but it's still something to think about it. It's a big reason why we only have 1 - plus I am already 38, and I don't want to take the chance that we could have a child with special needs or major health problems. Call me selfish, but I like how we have things now.

Are you sure you "just want one more" or will you want more than that? What if you feel like 4 will be fine, then end up with twins?

You have 3 girls. Do you want a 4th in hopes it will be a boy? If so, what if #4 is another girl? Would you be happy with 4 kids if the 4th is also a girl? Having 3 kids (like I do) IS a big family! Can you financially and mentally afford a 4th? Will a 4th take away from spending quality time w/ your girls? Just some things to think about. Good luck.

What kind of shape are you in financially? Do you want to give your children extras like nice vacations, help with or paying for college, orthodontics, extra-curricular (and expensive) options like band or cheerleading or dance? In my opinion, 3 kids IS a big family. Is your husband 100% on board? Just because you decided a long time ago that you wanted a "big" family or 4 kids doesn't mean you can't change your mind -especially after having some kids!

Maria did you ever think about adoption. You sound like a great family, ready to add a fourth child, sounds like you have a lot of love to give and there are THOUSANDS of children around the world growing up in orphanages or foster care. I don't mean to be pushy but you asked for opinions! I had always dreamed of having a child that looked like my husband but our adopted son has been such a joy, such a gift, that it's obvious he was meant for our family!

We always wanted a big family. When we had three, we always looked
at the empty chair at the kitchen table and we felt incomplete. We had
another. So glad we did. I always say tables and chairs come four,
six, etc. Amusement park rides, two to a car. LOL. Only you can
answer the question.

Peg M put it so well that I won't reiterate but have to express my support for her view.

If you can afford it financially & emotionally afford to have another baby and it is something that you and your husband have always wanted then I say go for it. We always knew that we wanted two, we waited four years between them(which was also the plan) and I love our family dynamic now!
Just make sure that you are ready.. you could always wait until your 2 year old is a little bit older to have another you are still young enough to wait and the option would still be there.
good luck!

It looks like you have gotten several good answers already, but I thought I would chime in just the same. I came from a big family myself (big being 7 kids). I don't mean to poke fun, but whenever I hear people talking about 3 or 4 being a big family I have to giggle a little.

My mom thought she was done after number 5. Then the last two were kind of surprises, but I know my mom wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

My husband came from a family of 6, and we both loved having a big family and want a large family of our own. We have one already and figure the next one will come when it's time. Our personal and religious beliefs have a lot to do with our decisions as well. We are on the "Heavenly Father" plan as we like to call it. We have faith that he knows how many children we are capable of raising and when those children should enter our lives. When it comes to a decision as big as this you and your husband should counsel with the Lord about what is right for you and your family. You may not share my beliefs, and that's fine, but you mustn't let the fears of overpopulation have an effect on your decision. Would you really forgo having the extra love of one beautiful human being in your home because a bird might die?