Has Anyone Ever Switched Their Child to a Different Classroom?

When my oldest son was in 3rd grade we had some of the same issues. We didn't change teachers and to this day he is now 27 I regret that we didn't. It took probably the next 3 years of very good teachers to overcome what 1 teacher did. Up until that year he had always loved school and all of his teachers. After that year is was as if he shut down he always did ok in school from then on but not with the same enthusiasm as before. My advice to to change now before it gets any worse.

Have you talked to the other parents. Would be interesting to see what their kids say. Go from there.

it sounds as if you've investigated the sensible options. good for you. too many parents just assume everything a kindergartner says is gospel and go after the teacher.

and make no mistake, you young mothers are facing a public school crisis.

teachers are bearing the brunt of decades of poor policies and increasingly permissive parenting to the point that common sense left our public school buildings long ago. there are still dedicated young teachers coming out of college and into the schools, but they're also leaving in droves after a few years.

we lucked out in kindergarten, but my luck ran out abruptly when my younger hit first grade. there were two in our school, a wonderful one in whose classroom my older son flourished (and she gave me such useful, calm, wise parameters to use in my own parenting philosophy) and the exhausted, bitter, angry old crone who got my younger.

i'd have loved to have switched him out, and even inquired wistfully before the school year started, but no luck. and she may well have disliked all the kids equally, but sure as shootin' disliked mine. pretty much every day his name was on the board and notes came home and he lost privileges. he had his times of naughtiness for sure, but he wasn't nearly the villain she made him out to be.

when we established that his hearing was at the very bottom of the normal range i asked her to move him to the front of the class, rightly supposing that at least some of his acting out was because he was hearing 'underwater.' she informed me that he had 'selective hearing' and refused to move him until i called a conference with her and the principal. and miraculously after that the problems dropped way down, either because the move fixed his issues or she decided to back off.

i wasn't a dragon mama. for almost all of her complaints we backed up her edicts and worked with our own kid on a) behaving better and b) accepting that he wasn't going to be everyone's favorite and how to adjust to difficult people. for the issues that we could not smooth over we went to bat, but calmly and without demanding special privileges.

you can certainly request a change in teachers if your daughter is really being permanently damaged by this 'mean' teacher, but it will do nothing to address the underlying problem- that your daughter is being permanently damaged by one mean teacher.

you'll still have the hard work of helping your child make it in a world where things won't always go her way.

i hope you find a happy resolution soon.
khairete
S.

I have a daughter like yours. Had loved preschool and kindergarten - did very well - and then her anxiety developed in grade one. Your child may have an underlying anxiety issue - it might just be coming out now. Mine thankfully, with help, seems to have outgrown it for the most part. Our therapist said this often happens around age 7 - you see a big leap in confidence and maturity. In our case, that was true. Ours did an anxiety program too for kids - very helpful. We as a family did it as well (there were family activities) which made it fun for her and we could be supportive.

So a pretty strict, firm and nasty teacher can really make anxious kids terribly nervous. Her 1st grade teacher did. Her kindergarten teacher was warm and loving, no issues. Hard as nails manic teacher - my kid developed tummy problems.

I never thought about switching to be honest, just never occurred to me - because our child showed anxiety in other areas too - I just assumed it was my kid, and not just the teacher.

Your daughter's teacher sounds pretty extreme. Ours wasn't yelling or threatening them with being paddled. Is the principal aware of this? I'd have a chat with the principal. You can include the teacher and counselor if you like. I just can't imagine a teacher getting away with using stupid and shut up in a classroom.

My child like yours was never in trouble. Mine did well academically also. But my child followed rules almost manically that year, was afraid to do anything wrong (had been fairly laid back about stuff until then). That can be anxiety. But it also was because this teacher was kind of neurotic about class rules. So my daughter then became terrified of breaking rules. The teacher (we met with her twice) told me my daughter was 'too good' and wished she'd step outside her comfort zone and break some rules. I thought maybe if you eased up lady ... but we worked on that over the summer. The change was huge in our child.

So no doubt the teacher is causing your daughter stress - and her teaching style - but it's possible your daughter has an underlying anxiety issue anyhow - either way, talk to the school, see what is possible, and I would go for it. Your daughter will feel supported knowing you're looking into solutions and just keep conveying to your daughter that you've got her back, and nothing bad will happen to her. The teacher is just a loud strict teacher. Hopefully she can switch classes. Best to you

No child should be getting sick before, during or after school. I would most definitely have a discussion with the principle, guidance counselor and teacher. You are her advocate.

You want her to be successful in school and get a great education. Education is built on a foundation. If your foundation is shakey then you education building will be weak.

I would be upset with the teacher say "quit it. Stop throwing up and causing your mom trouble". I would want to tell the teacher to keep her opinions to herself and that my child is NOT causing me trouble she was!

My mom was a teacher and this just pisses me off. There are some fabulous teachers, unfortunately this isn't one of them.

Meeting with the principle and guidance counselor are needed.

What the heck do you care what the teacher says about you "around the water cooler." My motto is, if they don't pay my house payment, I could care less what they think. I also think you should write a letter to the principal laying out what your daughter has told you about this teacher and the fact that you have confirmed the behavior with a prior classroom assistant (no name) and copy that letter to the superintendent of the school district. this teacher continues to get away with this behavior because everyone, including the parents, are worried about rocking the boat. IMHO, that boat needs to rock!!!! Also, take your daughter to the principal's office - introduce them and let her see his office and hear from him that he does not ever paddle students. She is afraid because she's never been there and all she knows about it is what this wicked teacher has told her. Dispel the myth!

I'm going to guess that the school already knows this teacher isn't a good teacher however because teacher's unions are very powerful its hard to get rid of a bad teacher. We've run into teachers with mental issues that were still teaching because the union protects them.

You need to do a couple of things. First march into school and get her out of that classroom making it clear (in front of the teacher if you must) that her behavior and teaching style isn't a good fit for your child. Don't accept no. Don't get angry or upset just go in with the mindset that this woman is doing more harm than good for your child and it stops.

Second is to get her into something that will boost her confidence like sports, dance, or art lessons. Let her blossom by giving her skills where she can be successful.

It's not drastic at all. Definitely have her switch classrooms. Be firm with the principal. Tell him/her that this is not a good fit for your child...she is very sensitive and because of this teacher's style with dealing with disruptions from other kids your daughter is terrified to go to school. Tell them she is SCARED every day of the teacher and this is unacceptable and she needs to switch classrooms asap. You need a loving teacher. I am so sorry this has happened. A kindergarten teacher should be sweet and kind. (This is up to you but honestly I would tell the principal the truth...that this teacher yells. That this teacher scares the kids. That this teacher says shut up and stupid. That this teacher uses intimidation. Tell the principal this is totally unacceptable behavior in a teacher). Good luck.

Oh my goodness - you're thinking about what the teacher says about you at the water cooler? I'll bet that the other teachers talk about HER at the water cooler. Believe me, the yellers are always talked about by other teachers.

I am astonished that you let this go on for as long as you did. Your daughter has undergone a major change in personality and is at the point of regularly throwing up. Instead of not wanting to make waves, it's your job to advocate for your child in a timely manner. You waited too long.

I hope that she can get through this okay, but it could be years before she is comfortable in school. Let this be a lesson to you that you have to be stronger and more proactive for the sake of your child. Make it so that a class change now is permanent. Get to know the guidance counselor and the teachers in 1st and 2nd grade. Ask parents about how their children are doing in those classes. Know who the teachers who yell are, and ask the guidance counselor to help prevent your child from having those teachers. The school may not be willing to take requests for specific teachers, but it is in their best interest to try to head off problems by not putting kids with teachers when there is a real reason not to.

You should tell the principal and guidance counselor what this teacher said to your daughter. That is SO out of line to say to a kindergarten child.

i would switch classrooms. period. and that teachers actions are not apppropriate for a kindergarten class... the school should be informed of these things and they should work towards change.. most principals want kids to think they are friends and that the children can go to them with any little problem.. not be afraid of them.. and the use of the words 'stupid' and 'shutup' are totally inapropriate for any school teacher.

I would start with the school counselor. Go meet with her alone and explain the situation...do not make accusations about the teacher but use phrases like, "My daughter tells me she is scared of her teacher"..."My daughter is throwing up before school due to anxiety about coming to school and she tells me it is because she dreads being in class...mostly because the way the teacher handles discipline scares her." "I am not in the classroom so I don't know how the teacher is handling the class but it is really bothering my daughter...can you help me fix this? Please!!"

"Can you help her overcome her fear of the teacher? Can you help her see the teacher differently? Can you help her deal with her anxiety? Etc etc"

A good counselor will look in to the issue and if she finds out the teacher is indeed scaring your daughter hopefully she will suggest a change. If not...then you certainly can...

If you try and work with the school a lot of times it helps you get done what you want (a new teacher) but if they think it is their idea...even better!! Good luck!!

You don't say.....
Do you work outside of the home? Are you able to go and sit in the kindergarten class? Make "surprise" visits?
I am usually REALLY laid back with teachers, after all...I think that job must be SO HARD. BUT...if my child is coming home sick, sick before school, sick after school, then I am going to pull my child out of that classroom. AND...if...for whatever reason...the school wont allow me to...I pull my kid out of kindergarten and re-register her for 1st grade. My understanding is that kindergarten is not required. SO no truancy. (of course, that's only if it works with your schedule! It would be almost impossible with mine)
Throw a mature parent fit. Get what's right for your daughter. She has a lot of years ahead of her in school. It would be nice if her first years were positive!

I'm glad you switched her. You definitely gave the first teacher plenty of chances. Do not worry about what the teacher says/thinks. Chances are, you're not the first parent to complain.

P.S. We were stationed at Leaveworth for several years and loved that area. Retirement is close, and the KC area is at the top of our list for places to go.

You need to tell the principal about how the teacher yells at the kids. Your daughter probably isn't the only one that feels that way. I would talk to some other parents and see if their kids are saying the same thing. I could see the teacher acting nice if the principal sat in her class. You need to get other parents to say something too if the yelling is that bad. This woman shouldn't be teaching or around kids.

I'm always one who tends to be proactive and establish good parent-teacher relations. If you aren't getting anywhere with her, I would ask to have a meeting with her in person. I would discuss your concerns of your daughter and the recent behavior change- With the guidance counselor and:or principal in the same meeting. I'd also have the guidance counselor meet with your child to discuss how she is doing in the classroom, etc. perhaps she may be able to recommend something for you.

My son is 13, but still remembers his first grade teacher at his old elementary school. He said she was terrible and mean to other kids. One kid -a girl was crying in class and the teacher told her to grow up and stop being a baby.. he remembers that one incident vividly.

This type of thing stays with kids. It resonates. Her fear of going to school has started . In kindergarten no less. Things need to change. If anything, get her Pediatrician to evaluate her or a therapist. If they believe her fears to be valid enough - a letter by them might ensure a change of classroom is warranted.

I can tell you we switched our daughter when she was in 3rd grade and our only regret was not doing it earlier. Her teacher was AWFUL and we tried to work it out. But moving her was the best thing we could have done for her. The teacher she finished the year out with taught my son's in 3rd grade after her and she is amazing.

It doesn't mean the K teacher your daughter has is awful, it's just not a good fit. I'm glad you moved her.

In this case I think you do need to report this teacher and request your child be moved. I would be VERY angry if the classroom was like this for any kindergarten child. How sad for them.

I have an idea. If you can why not volunteer to come help the teacher for a day or two. Then you can see how she interacts with the kids. She might need to teach older kids that are able to sit down and be quiet and studious.

I am an educator. I am so sorry for what your daughter has been experiencing. Brusque teachers seem to upset some children more than others, but this is definitely a terrible match for your daughter. And right now, that is all that matters.

I do not understand the "trial period" of a change, but maybe that is a face-saving gesture on the school's part. It is possible your daughter will blossom in a few days, and it's possible that she's so scared at this point, that she will still be afraid of school. Please talk to the new teacher and school counselor or principal and get feedback on this new classroom. Please do not put the responsibility of a decision on your daughter. You have been advocating for her and you now have to make the decision, which I would suggest would most probably be to keep her in the new classroom.

Whatever you do, I recommend that you keep it in the family. That will go a long way towards defusing the small school gossiping. All my best.