Getting a Breastfed Baby to Sleep at Night

Updated on March 03, 2008
M.H. asks from Chicago, IL
14 answers

I have a 9 month old breastfed baby who just LOVES to get up to nurse at night. I work 24 hr shifts and when my husband is home with him he sleeps so much better. Our older son adjusted to a specific schedule so easily, this one is bucking at every turn. Our MD say he is just up to have a"beer" with me..he's probably right. I let our big boy cry it out, but they share a room and I worry about disrupting my 2 yr old's sleep. Weaning him is not an option and I don't have a lot of stored milk for when I am home. Any ideas?

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So What Happened?

Okay, so I guess I can stop feeling so guilty about our big boy...he does sleep right through all the night time activities. I need to stand up to this child. We are emphatically NOT co-sleepers! ( I am a paramedic for the city of Chicago, and have seen one too many co-sleep mishaps) We truly believe self soothing is a skill that lasts a lifetime. I love nursing my baby, and am not even remotely interested in stopping, but a girl needs a little shut eye already! Now I appreciate all the advice, and I think its time to institute the tried and true self soothing method. I'm a sucker for this fat baby boy, and since I know he's my last, I have been reluctant to enforce this. I'll start this week and let you all know how it goes...Thanks again to all of you!

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

it takes a few days of cry it out to cure him of the habit. he definitely isn't in need of the milk but likely enjoys it. yes this will disrupt your other boys sleep for a few days but then it will be much better.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Houston on

M.:

I have 4 children, ages 6 through 1. All are in the same room. Very esrly on they adjust to the noise. Now, any one can scream, and all the other 3 sleep right through. Sometimes another will wake, but very briefly and they always fall back asleep easily. We did sleep training with all the children. While one was learning to sleep (ie, crying it out) the others were also in their own form of training (ie, ignoring the cryer!) I wouldn't worry about your 2 year old. He will adjust quickly. It shouldn't take more a week for you all to be getting a full nights sleep. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 5 month old... I understand the importance of sleeping through the night. The best advice anyone gave me was keep it simple... No lights, no diaper changes, do little as possible in the middle of the night. Babies have different cries and if your baby is just needing a little "mommy time" comfort your baby but make it brief. If he isn't "too" fussy then leave him alone if he is whalling of course go to him. After a couple nights (or a week) your baby will figure out to how to fall back to sleep on his own. (Especially since he'll do it for DAD when you're not available.) My 5 month old will squeal and jabber herself back to sleep if I don't come to her right away but if she is crying and having a tough time going back to sleep then of course I go to her and sing her a quick little song and then she'll usually go right back to sleep. But I know each baby is different. Sometimes they just need the comfort of knowing where you are and that you are there for them more than the "beer" factor.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

if he's nursing at night esp after you've been out working, he's reverse cycling and catching up with mom. he misses you, i'm sure. there's a lot more to nursing than just the nourishment part. i know it's hard (my 9mo is getting up min 3x/night now). it'll get better.

i hv a breastfeeding support grp that's free and meets weekly on mondays in naperville. this is the info on it (it's not a business, just volunteer to support other bf moms!):
http://www.mamasource.com/business/8288988875477483521

best of luck! --Jen S. (Naperville)

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Can you put him in a playpen in the livingroom for awhile until he learns to sleep through the night?

I nursed both my girls until they were a year old. I didn't store milk either. With the oldest I was so trained by my little one. She was quite old like yours and I was still getting up several times a night. And like your son, mine would sleep better if mommy wasn't around...because she knew daddy didn't fall for it.

So finally I had to "grow a spine" so to speak. I knew she wasn't hungry because I made sure she was good and fed at bedtime. Then when she started waking up I would go in lay her down, tell her it was night night time, pat her bottom for a few minutes and then walk out. I would repeat this every 15 minutes until she passed out. It took about three to four nights with less and less trips each night until she finally figured out mommy was not going to pick her up or feed her. She started sleeping 10 or 12 hours a night at that point. Lord was I a happy camper. I was so tired I would hallucinate and feel like I was losing my balance all the time.

Fortunately the younger daughter didn't give me half the trouble the older one did. It was partly my fault her big sister did that to me and partly the fact that they are different children. Thank God the younger one was sleeping six hours at a stretch by the time she was three weeks old and all night by the time she was three months or so.

I'm due in May and I'm 40 now. I pray all the time that God will give me another easy one and help me remember where my spine is...so I won't suffer like I did with the first.

Good luck!!!

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

M.:

Part of the waking to nurse is to have time with you.. he misses you when you are not home. Can you try tucking him in with you so that you both would get more sleep?

P., RLC, IBCLC, CST
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

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D.H.

answers from Springfield on

My 1st daughter wouldn't even eat when I was gone at work. And because of that, she generally slept for my husband and then kept me up all day and night breatfeeding. My first suggestion is find a comfortable place to feed him and snooze while he eats. Which I am sure you already do! After that, I am not sure. I just lived through it. Wasn't fun, wasn't easy but I didn't feel I had any other way out. By the time she was over a year, it got much better. She still wakes at night A LOT and we have never found an answer for that either. (She'll be 3 in April). I did break her from the breast to a sippy cup at 15 months & to this day she has to have it with her everywhere. You might try gradually introducing something in a sippy cup at night to replace your breast - although it isn't quite as cuddly & he may not like sleeping with it.
Good Luck! Enjoy the time cuddling & know it will all be over too soon!

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A.V.

answers from Chicago on

If your at all worried about how much milk your producing, it's actually better if he feeds at night. They say once you start cutting out those night feedings, your milk production goes way down. So, maybe he's actually helping you out, plus a little extra snuggle with mom doesn't hurt.

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

Check out the book the no cry sleep solution. Has everything you need to know!

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

Here's some sleep info that looks pretty helpful...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBsleep.html

Best wishes. Hang in there.

P.S. I affirm the good in your family doing what it needs to do which fits for you. At the same time, since you express the concern, co-sleeping accidents only happen when the parent has been drinking or using some kind of medication or recreational drugs, or when a water bed is being used.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/family-b...

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/fleming....

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/kimmel.html

http://search.llli.org/site/apps/s/google_search.asp?q=co...

Since this is a big concern for you, maybe you could borrow some ideas from this mom (use a twin bed right next to your bed)?

http://www.mamasource.com/request/6929785366031368193

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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

I tried this with my daughter.... I gave her some food before I took her to breast for the night. My MD suggested some favorite fruit w/ a little bit of cereal added to it if I wanted to. Just plain fruit was fine too it was up to me. Then after that I fed her like normal and she would sleep longer and a bit more sound. Anything with some substance would work too if not likeing the fruit suggestion, you know your son, cater to his likeings. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

This is called "reverse cycling" and it means that the baby adjusts his/her schedule to nurse when you are available. I would bring him to bed with me and co-sleep so that you can nurse in the side-lying position and you'll get more sleep. Unless you are wanting to wean to formula, I would definitely keep nursing him at night, otherwise he is not going to get enough nutrition.

You can google safe ways to co-sleep, as well as the reverse cycling. I, personally, would never let a baby or toddler cry-it-out because it has been proven that it releases so many stress toxins into the body it is actually harmful to the brain.

Not trying to be judgemental by any means, I just wanted to let you know about those options and the study.

-M.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

When I let my second child cry it out we just put the older one to bed in our bed for the first couple of nights when the crying was long and then moved him to his bed after she was asleep. The crying in the middle of the night never seemed to bother him. We did have some talks about why we were letting her cry, about how important it is for babies to learn how to go to sleep on their own. He took it pretty well. She adjusted fast and sleeps great to this day. When she would cry and I would come in to nurse, it never woke him up, so that was a good sign that it wouldn't bother him after the first few long nights. You might lengthen the babies bedtime routine so he gets more cuddle time with you and that might help too. Good luck.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Ok, not to sound too tough, but you are creating this issue... My often solution -- call Dr. Weissbluth ###-###-#### - and do what he says. It's not fair to your family -- not good for any of you -- to keep allowing this...

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