Encouragement and Tips on Living with My Husbands Neck Brace.

I strongly advise talking to your patient advocate with your insurance company. I would request a CNA or a Nurse to come to your house for the first week to help "train" you with what to do. It will help build your confidence and give you someone to lean on a little bit during that time.
That alone could make all the difference in how well you handle the stress
of your situation.

Just take a deep breath and remember the situation is hard for everyone involved. You have to be extra strong during this time. Keep in mind your husband may act out a bit from the frustatration of depending on you for things he used to be able to do for himself. Forgive him and let it go.

Make sure you make time for yourself. You can ask your patient advocate if it would be possible to get a CNA/Nurse in the house once a week after the initial week so you can do errands and get a little time to yourself.

I'm glad your husband is ok and the damage isn't as bad as it could have been. Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug, and do what needs to be done. You can and will do it.

Best wishes-

If you have to help him dress, I suggest getting him some v-neck shirts until he heals more. They have a wider opening and less of a chance you will have to force the shirt over the brace or take it off.

As far as the house, your child, and animals, do you have a close friend who would be willing to lend a hand. You have a lot on your plate and having a extra pair of hands and support can help you alot.
Maybe this is a good time to teach your eight year old alittle bit more about responsibility and offer rewards for helping with the critters or doing litle things around the house.

Just know that the human body is amazing and your husband will heal in time. Good luck :)

It is tough being a care provider. My mom had to take this role with my father who had leukemia and squamous cell carcinoma from taking care of skin grafts, helping him with jaw/vision exercising, cleaning his feeding tube and other wounds, giving him injections... it's limitless, frightening and tiring.

Here are some good tips on cleaning/changing a neck brace:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/27280-use-neck-brace/

and how to care for a person in a neck brace:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/190601-how-to-care-for-...

Maybe yo can do button up shirts for a while, larger ones that will be easier to put on/off. Also, be sure to take care of you! You aren't going to be able to help him as much is you are frazzled, and exhausted. So, cry if you must, but try and get some help. Do you have a support system? Someone who can come by and help you clean or cook a night or two a week? Or watch him so you can go out for a little while? Does your insurance allow for a nurse or caregiver to come by and help?

I did not have to deal with a neck brace. But my husband was injured at work. The idiotic place that he was sent for evaluation said he just had a lumbar sprain and sent him back to work after 2 weeks. While he was back, a disc broke (snapped in 2 literally). He could barely even move. he ended up with surgery to fix that. Then later, I had to carry him into a hospital for special x-ray type imaging that gave a very clear image of his lower spine. He had 2 herniated disks, making the bones of his spine sit on each other, compressing the nerves. He has permanent nerve damage. He ended up with surgery to have spacers placed in his back. The hospital wanted to send him home and he could not even walk--not even stand up. I called the nurse advocate we had and she called the hospital and the doc and yelled at them about it. He ended up in transitional care with a lot of elderly people that had hip replacement surgery. When he came home he had therapy and such. He still has a lot of numbness and cramping in his legs but things have improved immensely. Of course, over 2 years he got incredibly spoiled and acted like I should still do everything. It was incredibly stressful. I worked full time and would get home to take care of everyone. Just take one day at a time, do what you can. If you can take a little while to yourself, take it. Your 8 yr old can help. My kids were 6 at the time and then would do some stuff. Don't try to do it all. Your life has changed and it is hard to accept that you need to make and accept changes in the way things are done at home. Remember this is temporary and things will get better. As for helping him, maybe button down shirts would be better vs v-neck or other over the head styles. Talk with him about how you can communicate problems. If he hidesd it because he is used to being the strong one, it is not going to help and you will become more stressed worrying about it. If he lets you know as things go along what works and what doesn't, you can both figure out the best way to handle the day to day stuff. My husband would flinch every time you touched his legs or bumped into him. I had to get him to talk to us so the kids could understand that daddy was hurt and what hurt and what helped him feel better. You would be amazed at what a child can do when it really gets to it.

You can do it.

I am a SAHM, and I take care of my Husband, 2 kids and my Mom who lives with us. I do the inside and outside of the home.
For a time, before my Dad died, I also cared for him in our home. He was very ill.

You can do it.

Have a routine everyday.
Write it down if you have to.
Know what you need to do, and do it by checking off a list.
Even denote what 'time' you need to get things done.

Me- in the morning, everyday: I make coffee, get myself ready, make myself breakfast and my kids, wash dished, do laundry, fold the clothes, make my daily to do list, feed our pets, water the garden, check my e-mail and other accounts, and do errands. Then I also prep dinner.
I KNOW I do those things, everyday, BY A CERTAIN TIME. I get all of this done, by the time I have to take my kids to their Preschool and summer program.

You can also, ask the Nurses or Doctor, HOW to manage the neck brace when changing him etc.
They should teach you that.

The thing is: you just have to rally yourself up to do it. There is no choice. You will manage and do it.
Organize yourself.

Your 8 year old child, IS old enough to HELP too, and to help with the house and her Dad.
My daughter is 8 and she can do all kinds of stuff. She can even cook her own breakfast and eggs and wash dishes etc.

First, ((HUG)). You are not alone - many of us have had to manage caring for a family member with an unexpected injury/illness. I have been with my husband through two back surgeries while also working and in grad school full time. You CAN do this.

Now is the time to lean on your support network. Family. Church. Girlfriends. Your child's school. If you're like me, you may be stubborn about asking for help. (After all, you've always managed to take care of yourself up to now, right?) Don't be. You'll miss out on chances to lighten the load. There are people in your life willing to bring you meals, spend time with your spouse so you can get out for awhile, help with critter care, provide playdates/sleepovers for your child. But you have to let folks know that you need help and are open to receiving it.

Carve out 15 minutes of every day when you can do something alone, even if you never leave the house. Walk. Take a bubble bath. Pray. Plug yourself into your iPod. Drink coffee. These little moments of alone time will help you stay sane.

Engage your husband in his own care. As a strong, capable adult, he is going to get plenty frustrated before his recovery is complete. As soon as he is able, he should be doing things for himself. But be aware that men who are starting to feel better have a tendency to push themselves too hard too soon. Get his medical provider to tell YOU what he should and should not be doing. Do not rely on your husband's good sense. Being suddenly physically limited is not something men deal with using their good sense. (My then-military hubby went and jumped out of a perfectly good airplane 6 months after back surgery number 1, which probably led to back surgery number 2.) Also, he may not always behave well. He is in an extremely frustrating situation right now. Be understanding, but also do not allow him to take out his frustration on others, especially you or your child.

You WILL get through this.

I have not been in your exact situation, and my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to add even one more things to our days sometimes, and here you have about a thousand things added all at once. While your DH is hurting physically and is probably frustrated by the long-term outlook of having to be cared for you, he CAN still do something for you. He can't do the outside chores, he can't lift, clean, etc. but he CAN be an emotional support for you. You should not be putting on a "strong" "happy" face for him. While you help him physically, let him help you emotionally. He probably can't hug you, but I bet he can hold your hand. If you can show him that you are vulnerable at this time and need him, instead of walling off and only letting him need you it could help.
Reach out to your support network -- family, friends, church. There are people who are looking for ways to serve. Don't be the independant, "I can do this myself because it's my family and our problem" kind of person. Ask for help and let others help you. You will find that there are soooo many people around that are kind and caring. Let them bring in food, play with your kids, help with the critters.
I totally understand that you can't put those (kids and critters) on the back burner. No kid deserves to ever be put on the back burner -- no matter what is happening in the parent's lives. But getting help with your child and critters is not putting them on the back burner. It is recognizing that you only have 2 hands and 24 hours in a day to get all that needs doing done. By asking for help with those things you are making them a priority and making sure that even if you personally cannot take care of it all right this moment, that it is still being taken care of.
Hang in there -- it will get better.

If you love him enough then deal with it with very tender hands and a lot of heart. It is only for 3 months, not much in consideration of a lifetime!

Also think about if the role were reversed and you were in that brace----before you make a judgement call.

It can and will turn out ok~~~~~~~~~~but if you get depressed so will he and it will be harder to heal.