Hello Moms,
I need your advice and help regarding my son's behavious during doctor's office visits. He will turn 2 next month and has recently gone through an eye surgery last week. He has also gone through many many doctor's office visits in the past 2 years due to other problems and I believe he has developed this negative association with doctors and their offices. The last pediatric appointment was conducted in their parking lot. He seems fine with strangers as long as one of us is with him. But, as soon as we enter the closed doors of the doctors office, he starts crying, screaming and does not cooperate at all. Today, we went in for a follow up after his eye surgery and he cried so much that he threw up in the examination room. I can understand why he hates doctors office, because most of the time when we go in for doctors visit, he has to go through one procedure or another. But, we still need to get the examination done. Have you had similar experience? What did you do to improve your child's behaviour? Also, my son has a speech delay and does not say anything except babbles. He understands some of our instructions like go get this, give me that, put this away, etc. But, I dont think he understands when we try to talk to him before the doctors office visit. We have also tried to bribe him with chocolate, blueberries, etc. but at the time when he starts crying, nothing helps. We are at our wits end. Thank you for your help.
Have you tried visiting the doctor's office just to stop in and get a sticker from the receptionist? After that see if the office will work with you and let you just visit the room without shutting the door. Maybe if he has some good experiences it will get better. Continue to talk to him. Kids with speech delay's take in a lot of what they hear! Good luck
I think he has every reason to be afraid and experience such stress at a doctors visit, especially if he does not have language yet. If you are sure that these are two issues, then I would just speak to your doctor and see if you can find a nuetral site (like the parking lot) for doctor visists until his anxiety and stress is lower. You might try to make some fake appointments where he has a pleasant expierience, if your doctor will cooperate.
Also, I would invest in a speech and langague evlautaion. If you do not think he can understand the langague especially, I would go sooner rather than later. By age two he should have between 50 and 100 words and be putting two of them together into a simple sentence. You really want to get the earliest intervention you can. He may qualify for home services through your states ECI program, but also invest in private evaluations to supplement what the state may provide.
If you think that these two issues are related, that he has more stress or anxiety than is just caused by his doctor experience, then I would suggest that you call a Developmental Pediatrician. Since he has had an eye issue too, you may just want to go for a more indepth evaluation anyway, even if you are pretty sure that he is reacting to his bad experience with doctors with this behavior. It is pretty big behavior, but understandable, and I would just be really sure that you are not dealing with anything more global.
Good luck, I hope he gets over it soon. Poor baby!
M.
My guess (as someone who's spent a lot of time in doctor's offices as well in the past few years) is that it's a psychological issue you need to address with the physician.......which can be hard, because he hates being there. You may have to ask the physicians to call you and to discuss how to proceed.
Many cancer patients (me being one of them) have the same response when going back, even years later, to the cancer centers. The smells, the sites, of things that are associated with something unpleasant can trigger completely psychological, uncontrollable responses. When I was in chemo, it didn't matter what anti-nausea meds they gave me (and we tried them ALL), I would throw-up the minute they placed the IV in me and again when they administered certain drugs. I almost never got sick except when I was there for chemo.
But, my guess is it's become psychological, especially because of his inability to effectively communicate with you.
Good luck - I hope you have everything resolved and a healthy son soon.
This situation is quite common in peds offices. What I would try is going to the peds office when your son does not have an appt and have the girl at the front desk give him a sticker or toy and then just leave the office. you can hand the item to the girl when your son is not looking. Try that a couple of times so your son knows that the doctor's office can be a happy place too.
Just off the top of my head, I'd say let him pick out a special stuffed animal to be his doctor buddy. It'll act as sort of a security blanket. Good luck! :)
I would, get him speech therapy or at least evaluated.
Especially if you think he does not understand what is told to him....
most States, have a "Early Childhood Intervention" organization, that is FREE... and they assess the overall development of a child and provide services. It is only for kids up until 3 years old.
My son had Speech Therapy through our local organization. He LOVED it as did I. And it helped greatly.
Next, well yes, your son hates Doctor offices. I don't blame him. He's gone through so much.
For my son, he's like that... but, if we talk to him PRIOR or the day before, about it... then he is fine about it. And then afterward, I get my son a treat... as a 'reward' for handling it well. He can pick what toy he wants. That works for my son.
My son went through a bunch of shots and started crying the moment we got into a room, even when it didn't include the shot. I would call the ped and if it works with both your schedules, see if they can let you come in and "visit". Get called back to a room, have the nurse go in, say hi, give a sticker, and leave. Next time do the same thing, but have her take his temp, etc. Build up so that it is a positive experience. I don't even know if this is possible, but that is what I would try to do.
Hi have you tried taking a portable dvd player so he can watch his fav movie i do that with my 4 year old autistic boy who has been in and out of the hospital try that it may work.
I have a couple of sugggestions: 1) get him his own doctor kit so he can get used to the equipment that is being used & play doctor w/him a few days prior to the appointment. Also, Usbourne Books (no I am not a rep. but just a big fan of their books!) sell great books on this sort of thing. We have one abuot giong to the dentist & I we also have one about going to the docotor/hospital. Read it a few times before his appointment in the hopes it will imprint on his brain & he may remember seme of what you talked about. Make sure you also validate his feelings as well. " I know you don't like the doctor & I'm sorry you have to go so much but we still need to ....." Regardless of his speech delay (which I'm sure you're addressing since you mentioned it) it's hard to know how much a 2 yr. old is actually processing. Good luck!
S., becasue we have a child that had many health issues from birth to now we started doing something that made a differance and even made great friendships to this day 23 years later.
We were at the doctors as often as 3 times a week and he just could not take it anymore, so by age 3 we started stopping at the local TACO BELL after the appt. We don't generally go there so it was specail. The employees soon discovered why we were coming and went to the trouble of learning his favorite thing to order and had it started when we got to the window to order. He was always on edge so this little special treat made it endurable. We have now seen many of these employees as they have gone on to other jobs and places by accident and they still greet us and are friends. So consider a specail place, even talk to the manager in advance if you like and explain the situation and see if they can make it kind for him. I am so thrilled you have a doctor that would see your son in the parking lot! GIVE THAT MAN/WOMAN A PRIZE, literally write to the medical board or your local paper or place he works at and give the prasie they deserve! Since your little one is 2, has medical issues, it is not uncommon for them to have speech delays but when he does speak expect his to use medical words not just mom and dad...I know my son could say many medical words and could not say milk, for some time. If he has not outgrown it within the next year have the local school district test him and see if he needs to be in a specail pre-school that will help with that, my son started in his at age 3. Take into account that he is in truma and fearful so ofcourse he will over react and be outlandish. His world is upside down at that moment and he has not the words or understanding to say you are doing this for his own good. As a little child this is to be expected -- heck he sees only pain coming from this place! Good Luck but have Patience
My daughter had a horrible experience in ER about a year ago and since then has had a similar reaction to people in white coats. Things like flu shots and dentist visits have been a near nightmare. Over the year I've done a number of things to help her. We draw together. She tells me what to draw and then we talk about it together. She would then use the crayons to "color" her feelings all over my drawings. I would make sure she knew it was okay to be angry and upset-- that her feelings were valid. When we had these sessions I didn't talk about future visits, just past owies.
I made sure she was there when I got my flu shot. When we did have to go back to the doctor, I was pretty direct and straightforward about exactly what she could expect. I didn't want her to be surprised. We still talk about the initial owie and I still expect some difficulty when we go to the doctor. I have tried bribes too with limited success.
You can talk to and reason with your son all you want but he is experiencing post traumatic stress. When something triggers that type of memory in anyone it will bypass reasoning and logic (even bribes) and trigger a fight-or-flight response. I'm sorry you have to deal with this but the more you understand his reaction and the more you can empower him to deal with his feelings and experiences the better off he'll be. He will eventually get over it but he needs your support and the support of his pediatrician.
