Doctor Criticised Me for Saying NO to Shots When Child Is Sick

Updated on January 19, 2011
J.B. asks from Lanoka Harbor, NJ
30 answers

My 2 year old was due for 3 vaccines today during a well baby visit and I told his docno because he has a cold. His doctor said that vaccines can be given with minor illnesses just not moderate to severe illness and even showed me a pamphlet that confirmed this. I still said no and he said I was being over concerned and eccentric. Was I?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Madison on

Nope, I would do the same thing. He did not feel good, why would we want to make it worse. Do not feel bad - you're a Mom that cares for her little man. We put these doctors on pedestals and think we should not disagree, but it's okay. Let it go....... ;)

4 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

No Mama
I would have done the same thing.
I think a child should be feeling strong when getting shots. His immune system will be down with fighting a cold so I would leave it until he is better.
Good for you for staying strong,funny how the doctor classes you as eccentric,just because you disagreed with him.
Pay no notice
B.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

You were being a good mom! You were concerned about something and you stood up for what you thought instead of being pushed around. GREAT JOB!

And I would personally switch docs as well................

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Spokane on

Just like I was told my 3 month old might DIE because I decided to delay a shot by two weeks because I didn't want her to get five in one day. It's a scare tactic, and in my opinion when a doctor uses a scare tactic regarding something as non urgent as shots then it's time to find a new doctor. This was also the same doctor who wouldn't call me back (during office hours) when I put in three calls about my three year old having symptoms of meningitis when we had a three day old baby in the house. Let's get our priorities straight, doc.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Redding on

Well, you said no, so be it.
You may have been over concerned. It happens. Eccentric? I can't answer for that one.
In defense of doctors because I work at a hospital, I can promise there is an epidemic of parents being scared out of their minds over vaccines right now and they hear it all. Eccentric? I'm pretty sure none of them would use that word.
They do try to discuss the medical options and you do have the right to say yes or no.
We had one mom who refused any testing or intervention for her child. No vitamin K shot, no Hep B shot, no hearing testing, no eye drops. She signed papers understanding that it was against medical advice.
She checked herself into the hospital and had intervention for herself as far as pain, etc, but nothing for her child. No offense, but I personally found that odd.
Look, it's her kid and her choice. If you didn't want your child vaccinated on a certain day, you had the right to say so.
I am just thinking in a different perspective as I do know that so many parents are afraid now of doing anything because of the possible risks.
They put more trust in what they read on the internet as opposed to what an actual medical professional tells them.
Doctors aren't gods or saints by any means.
You trust them or you don't.
If you don't....get a different doctor.
That decision is ultimately up to you.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Without getting into a vaccine debate, you had every right to say no.

I am a registered nurse and up until 4 1/2 years ago my kids had everything recommended. But when a doctor proceeded to berate me IN FRONT OF my then 11 year old daughter because I politely declined a NON-REQUIRED vaccine just 2 months after it came out, I became a more informed mom on the whole subject.

If your mommy intuition felt the time wasn't right, YOU are your child's best advocate. You didn't say 'no, not ever' you just declined while your child was sick. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your child!

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would tell the doctor to stick his syringe somewhere else then.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.K.

answers from Boston on

My ped always tells me it's my call. Maybe it's time for a new doc

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

No, you were not being over concerned. Remember you know your child best and doctors are not gods. They are just humans with medical training. Go back when your child is healthy.

I separate the vaccines out one at a time so I know if there is a reaction. When my pediatrician sneered at me, I found a new one.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

No I would not let my kids get any shots with any fever my doctor said it's to each his own. He respected me and left it at that. I would let the doctor know you are your childs advocate you make the decisions like he/she did for their own child. period.

Personal opinion when I had to deal with a doctor like that I knew there would be other things that we wouldn't agree on so I found someone else that suited me better. Sorry there's other doctor's out there and on this issue a sensitive as it is you as the parent should be respected.

3 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Ummm Any PERSON who calls another person eccentric over their child's wellbeing. . .well I feel that, that person shouldn't be in contact with me. Just like after 3 months of eye rolling, huffing and puffing, and looks of annoyance every time I asked the nurse, PA, MA, and doctor a question, I switched. I was not going to be treated like huge inconvenience because I couldn't understand the people who were talking so fast that it just sounded like a babble. I'd switch if I were you.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.S.

answers from New York on

Sorry that you had this experience! I work in the medical profession. What your doctor says is true, it is endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics and by all vaccine companies as well. You really can give vaccines if a child is suffering from a minor illness.

However, having said all that, you did not deserve to receive a comment like you did. There is no such thing as an "overly concerned parent." And there is nothing wrong with being "eccentric," by the by, yet, in this context, this term was being used in a derogatory way.

I really hate to say this about my own profession...however, many physicians, pediatricians included, can and do have a tendency to look down on their patients as if they are stupid or don't know any better. It is related to the way some doctors are trained...sensitivity and compassion towards your patients is not something that is taught in most medical schools, and it also does not come intuitively to most. So it is quite common for doctors not to be able or willing to place themselves in their patients' shoes.

This comment is what I like to call a "tip of the iceberg" comment -- if this is what he is saying to your face, imagine what he may be saying to you behind your back. There are many wonderful, caring, and compassionate pediatricians out there, and it may be time for you to start looking for one. You want a doctor that is on your "team," so to speak -- not someone who will rudely antagonize you. There are ways to disagree with patients in a sensitive way, and a way to reach a compromise so that everyone is satisfied and patient care is not impacted.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Bellingham on

I never think you should mess with the immune system when you know it's busy fighting something else. It only makes logical sense. On the other hand...if your kid's Dr. is saying you were being overconcerned and eccentric?? I'd start looking for a new Doc. You don't want a dr who disrespects you.

2 moms found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

It is your choice -- I have delayed for the same reason and brought them back the following week (we also only do 1 new shot at a time so at the most we do 2 at a time). Generally though if the kid hasn't had a fever and doesn't currently have a fever, shots are AOK. I just hate to put them through that when they already feel crappy!

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

some Doctors get real aggravated when you dont take their advice, like george costanza said on seinfeld "dont upset the delicate genius". Its YOUR baby and YOU decide when small amounts of a virus are injected into his body or not. Since almost all children respond to vaccines with a slight fever and flu symptoms it makes perfect sense that youd want to wait a week. Some kids have severe allergies to these shots, just aimagine what the result would be if it was administered to these children while their immune system was not at full capacity.

The arrogance of these people.

change doctors, or look forward to many other incidents in where your gut is not trusted, your opinion labeled as nonsense, and your role as caretaker~underminded.

whos working for who here?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Denver on

I think your child would have been fine as they do say you can get them w/ a cold. HOWEVER, you are the Mom and if you want to wait, then a Dr. should support you.

2 moms found this helpful

R.G.

answers from Dallas on

What?!?! Change doctors! This one obviously doesn't have your child's best interests at heart. :(

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from Little Rock on

I would not be taking my child back to a doctor who believed you were being over concerned and eccentric. If indeed he said this to you, then as a doctor he has crossed the line. Report him to his fellow or to the medical board in your state. Do some leg work. I would "show" him just how eccentric I can be. :)

1 mom found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

It is your decision, but my pediatrician usually will do a well-child visit even if my kids have minor colds but has me postpone the shots until symptoms are gone. If they're fighting something off, even something minor, he'd rather not have us worrying about normal reactions to shots like rashes or low fevers, on top of a cold. I would brush it off if it was a first-time incident, but I would not take kindly to my pediatrician calling me eccentric unless he meant it as a compliment.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Chicago on

He told you that you were being eccentric? Wow I'd switch docs. I mean easier said than done of course but I'm not sure I'd want him treating my child. Anytime I've ever asked about the possibility of waiting on vaccines due to illness they are totally fine with it at my ped - and actually I've rarely ever even had to ask. They usually initiate the waiting for a week or so if my kids have a cold.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.Y.

answers from Dallas on

Just to give an opinion from the other side, if you know you are going in for vaccines and don't want to get them because your child had a cold why not just call and cancel or reschedule. If you don't trust your pediatrician then maybe you should find one who's opinion you value. An office can only hold so many spots in a day for well checkups and if you don't intend to actually use it for what you are going in for it seems the right thing to do on your part would have been to cancel in the first place.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Louisville on

WOW! Didn't know so many docs were this way! The pretty-much-past pediatrician's office gave me GRIEF for getting my dgd a shot at the Immediate Care Center at almost 9pm when she was diagnosed w/strep! That was strike two on them! (strike one was the immunization mess when I was told I could not hold her ---grrr!)

Think strike three has happened (twice) - they call wanting to set up the year's well visit - and call the child by the wrong name! (similar name, but wrong!)

They are unaware I've pretty much changed ped's - just haven't moved all the records since having fits getting the state folks to follow up on their end - she's on my insurance, but use that as a backup, just in case!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Toledo on

I don't necessarily think you were being over-concerned, BUT...the doctor is right. The only time they shouldn't be given shots during illness is when there has been a fever involved. Once the fever has been broken for 48 hours, you're in the clear. Either way, go with your gut. There's a lot to be said about mother's intuition ;)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I agree I would change docs unless this was the first issue you have come across. I suggest if this is the first thing he/she has done to make you uncomfortable you discuss it with him/her at next visit and move on.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

No! Especially if he had a fever. My dr refused to give shots to my son when he had a fever b/c he said you always want to know if the fever is coming from the vaccination or the cold. Wait until he's better for sure. And get a different pediatrician!

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I took my daughter to a well visit. She had no symptoms but had an ear infection. My doctor said shots would be ok and they were. I trusted his opinion..he is the expert and he has helped me keep my son healthy for 19 years so I trust what he tells me. It is safe to give kids vaccines with a minor illness. I do go against him regarding the H1N1 vaccine but that is just because I am not comfortable with that one.

As his mother, you have to make the best decision you can for your child. Sometimes, you have to go with what your mother's intuition tells you. Better safe than sorry. Just be sure to get him caught up as soon as he is well.

I would have told the doctor that he may be right but better you be over concerned than not concerned at all.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from New York on

I believe you had a right to deny the shots if you felt your child was not well enough for them and I think your doctor should have advised you but not criticised you for your decision. As for rescheduling...you can still do all the other things done at a wellness visit, such as height, weight, discussions, so I would not have cancelled either. If my child was not feeling well I would have made a game time decision there too based on my discussion with the doctor and even if you didn't agree with your doctor you still had that right. He should have left it after the paphmlet and moved on...perhaps your doctor felt he could be more informal with you, perhaps he was just being rude. Regardless, you do what you feel is right by your child and not worry about it! You can reschedule, I'm sure its not a big deal!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Johanna.

Take what you like and leave the rest. Your doctor can recommend things and you can make the decision about what you think is best. With that being said, I would suggest finding a doctor who you feel comfortable with. Sounds like you don't totally feel good about this one. Also, I would schedule a follow up appt for the vaccines.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think so, I would have gone ahead and done the shots if it was as minor as you said. We did 4 year old shots today and he had a bit of a runny nose and stuff. I would rather get the shots on time and have the uncomfortable stuff all at once. We gave him Motrin on the way there and then Tylenol later.

Shots aren't really a big deal but this is your child and you get to choose when you want the shots and stuff. The doc should have given you the pamphlet and left it at that.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions