Developmental Concerns....

Updated on December 09, 2009
J.F. asks from Washington, DC
18 answers

My son clearly has a speech problem. It's not what he says...It's how he processes it or how he answers me. He's 5 and sometimes I have no idea what he's talking about. I have him in speech therapy but I don't think that's all that he needs. I'm very concerned I'm missing the mark. My heart was broken today when I took him to school and one of the boys in his class asked why did he talk different. Needless to say I left school in tears because I don't know what's wrong, what to do, where to start, how to fix it. Please if anyone know what I'm talking about please help or if you're going through this too please tell me where to start. I'm lost......

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First I want to thank everyone for there thoughts/advice. I'll print them out and sort them all for all the help I can get. I really do thank everyone for the support they've been giving me. I've kinda learned how to go with the flow. Thanks

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K.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello J.,

If you are very concerned the first place you need to take him is his peditrician and talk to them, they will be able to direct you in what needs to happen.
Good Luck.
KRW

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

A couple suggestions.
1-Ask the speak therapist he is currently seeing for advise.
2-Ask your pediatrician for advise
3-Contact Kennedy Kreiger in Baltimore or Mt Washington Pediatric Hosp also in Balt. Both of these are centers for developmental delays of virtually any sort. Even if you don't end up getting therapy from these centers, they could do an exam and advise what steps you need to take. These guys are the experts. KK has a very long wait list but it is worth a try since I have know people to get lucky and get in quickly. Mt Washington has a shorter wait list, so you should be able to get into one or the other in a relatively short period of time. We went thru some issue with one of our sons and boy it felt like the sky was falling and I was going crazy since it took months to get him in front of the doc he needed to see, but realistically, when dealing with this type of specialist, it often takes months to get in to see the doc, so don't expect to be seen immediately. But put yourself on both the wait lists in the meantime.

I do know it's hard to feel at such a loss and feel like time is slipping away every moment you don't "do" something else to help your child. Unfortunately, all of this takes time. Talk to everyone you can (moms who have gone thru it and to whatever docs/therapist you have access to) and research on line. And call KK and Mt Washington.

Good luck, feel free to contact me directly if you need to talk. ____@____.com

Julie

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

If your child is in speech therapy (as is my 2 year old), what has the therapist told you? Did they write up a plan of action for the year with goals to reach? We get our help through Child Find, and although our son hasn't been diagnosed with a developmental disability, it is recognized that he has a speech delay. We're working on it and he's making progress. He may start a special preschool class this winter and get help there.

When other kids notice that our son doesn't have much of a vocabulary yet and ask about it, I say that all kids are different - we all learn and grow differently. He's still young and learning. And he's great at lots of other things. Maybe you could formulate a similar response for the kids in your son's class.

I'm sorry it upsets you when other kids notice a difference and say something. They're too young to know it's rude, so maybe they're just curious. A short and simple answer should suffice. Good luck. It sounds like you're doing a lot to try and help him. He's lucky to have a Mom who cares so much and is working hard to help him reach his full potential.

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J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,
My son is 2 and has a speech delay. He has been receiving speech therapy from the school system for a couple of months and it has made quite a difference. Please discuss your son's speech problem with the teacher or other school administrators and I am sure they can point you in the right direction to get him the help he needs.

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Most kids have a hard time formulating what they have to say at that age - and every one learns at a different level. my daughter had speech issues - she wouldn't open her mouth to talk....she would make muffled noises and when she did open her mouth it was hard to make out what she was saying...she went to speech when she was 4 and after a year of that she was doing much better. My son could speech intelligibly, but he used the wrong words, had very bad vocabulary and grammar and at times was too shy or not confident enough to speak...it was very difficult to deal with, and he was already 8! We just kept working with both of them on pronunciation, grammar, usage, etc and my daughter learned pretty fast- she was speaking very well and hasn't stopped!! She is now 8 and speaks better than most adults....my son on the other hand still has some problems formulating his thoughts at times because he has too much going on in his head - but I think boys are more apt to take a bit longer in that department any way - he is doing much better trying to get his thoughts out and sometimes I notice his writing needs some help when it comes to grammar and order of words in sentences, but he is now 12 and still working on it - he still manages to get A's on his work and is superb in math...I think each person has stronger/weaker subjects. I went to speech class when I was in Kindergarten because the way my brain processed a southern accent (I lived in AL and Fl for a while) was wrong - I would tryt o say things phonetically, but didn't understand how to spell them because I was so young, but once I started becoming an avid reader, it helped immensely and after a year or so I had no issues....Hopefully the more you work with your son and take him to speech class, the better and more comfortable he will get, and in a couple years you won't even be worried about it. If he doesn't improve over time, I would have him evaluated on a deeper level. Hope this helps!

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

What kind of school does he go to? Is he in public or private? The public schools (In Fairfax county , unsure about others) has a programme called Child find , they have a team of specialists that will meet with you , asses your child and then try to find out what/if your child needs any extra help.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

If you're not satisfied with the speech therapy, I would ask your pediatrician for other options and resources. I would follow my mother's instincts and investigate other options. It sounds like you feel the speech therapy either isn't working or isn't enough, so go with your instincts and check other options. Maybe just a different speech therapist would help. You never know.

Best of luck!

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Been there. It's tough. Giving him more vocabulary and talking often to him do help some, which is what happened in speech therapy. We did away with speech services 3-4 years ago when I felt like it wasn't helping. My child is now 11 and still has a few cases of awkward speech, but managed to win a public speaking competition. Go figure. We homeschool; however, you might want to try gently correcting his word use and speeding up the language arts sessions at home. Giving him other opportunities to speak out loud, like in acting, singing, and public speaking also built up his confidence and helped. I got to coach him through awkwardness in a format he could accept. If you still want to use a therapist, search for one who specializes in pragmatic/receptive speech, not articulation and fluency. I learned there's a whole spectrum of speech disfluency! If it's any comfort, there are quite a few people throughout history who had challenges but were quite brilliant: Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso are the first ones that came to mind. A few more are listed at http://www.about-disability.com/disability-education/famo....

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B.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you spoken to his teacher? If you are unsure exactly what is at the root of his speech processing issues, you should have the school conduct a full battery of developmental testing done, and then they will provide him with the help he needs. In addition, you need to discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. There are people out there that are trained to help you and your son. Reach out to them, and they will point you in the right direction.

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P.G.

answers from Washington DC on

The fact that you decribe your son's speech as intelligible by sound/diction, but nonsense by content is an important distinction. I think you should seek very high specialist help in sorting this out. The GWU speech and language center is exceptional! Please call and schedule an appt. It will be essential for you to know exactly what is happening, what the problem is and how you can assist your son ASAP. You have already witnessed the unwanted attention he will receive in school at only 5yrs of age---and unfortunately it will get much worse in elementary and middle school years if he is not helped to either overcome his problem or learn to calmly deflect comments about it. The Speech Center can help with whatever is needed, from assessment to treatment,training and counseling. We have used them and they are terrific with both children and adults of all ages.

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J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I am wondering what you mean by how he processes the answers and how he answers you . Are you concerned he is not hearing your question? as in, he should have a hearing test? Are you saying that he mumbles and is hard to understand the actual words?
Or that you ask him a question and he has odd answers to the questions?
My oldest nephew had the issue of you asking him a question and him giving really odd replies. He would be asked to draw something and the things he drew were nothing like what we were asking. It turned out that he was diagnosed with Aspbergers. Once we got the diagnosis all of the rest made sense- and he got help through the county and now you would never know he has an issue at all!

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A.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,

Contact the Child Find Team in your county. They will evaluate his speech and language skills. From there they will recommend a course of treatment to help improve his skills in that area. They will contact the speech therapist at his school and together you guys will develop and IEP plan to address his needs.

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E.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Start with what you have, the speech therapist. He/she deals with delays and differences every day, ask them what to do. Use the resources at the school, they can help you too. Don't let the other kids' remarks get to you, your son doesn't know how different he is, unless someone tells him. There will be plenty of times that the other kids will be cruel, delayed or not. I have a delayed son and non-delayed son, they BOTH get teased by the other kids at their school for different reasons.

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E.T.

answers from Richmond on

You might consider taking him to a neurologist. He may have some small problem internally that is causing these problems. Years ago my cousin had a lot of learning difficulties and had problems processing information. She was having mini-seizures - but they were not detectable. She went to the neuro and got some medicine to control the seizures and she began doing much better in school.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Your local school system should have some kind of support system, whether it be child find or early intervention that can help you get him tested. Kennedy Krieger and Mt Washington can also test him to see if there is a problem. My son is 3 and has a lot of speech problems and is hard to understand. Luckily he is very extraverted and doesn't seem to have a problem making friends. Some of the kids are very curious and have asked me, "why does he talk like that?" "why does he go see someone in the afternoons?" I have found that giving them a simple explanation, "he sees someone to help him speak clearly, just like someone who has problems seeing may wear glasses to help them see." Yes sometimes kids can be mean, but sometimes they just need an explanation to help them understand that everyone is different.

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K.A.

answers from Richmond on

Hi,my son had the same problem.it always tore me apart to see other kids talk and commuinicate so easily at age 5. My son still has developmental delays but he is catching up. He is now 7 yrs old. I contacted the county to get him evaluated. Once it was confirmed he went to special education classes at his elementary school and received speech therapy twice a week and occupational therapy once a week. He was also in special ed class in the morning where he got one on one help in math and english. He also had an assistant accompany him to all his classes to assist him in the regular kindergarten classes. Then I had him repeat kindergarten because I knew he needed to belong with kids who were at his maturity level. I am so glad I did because now he feels more confident in talking and expressing his feelings. He still goes to speech at school and has special ed classes a few times a week. We also have an IEP set up for him which gives him goals and steps to take to reach those goals. He talks much more clearly now but still needs help in math. For you, my advice is to speak with your son's teacher about special ed class and get him evaluated. There's hope. Your son needs you to seek help for him. He needs help in so many areas but the school can help you. Good luck and please let me know how things go. You are a good mom for caring.

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F.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I have not read the other responses but you should of course always talk to your pediatrician first. Next I would talk to the teacher and ask about Occupational Therapy Services in your school. OT could help with the prcessing part of the speech.

GOOD LUCK!!

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

You have gotten some good advice from others.
I do have some expertise in this area as a mom with a child with similar issues.
1) Many times pediatricians do not know squat about speech and language processing issues.
2)Some teachers and schools are great and have fabulous resources and others don't. Some that have lot of money and great reputations still fail children because they are public schools and they just don't think outside the box.
I'd check with Johns Hopkins. Otolarengology dept.
My son has a hearing loss and as a result has speech issues and processing issues.
Believe me I know what it's like to have other kids ignore, make fun of and shun your child. That is why we home school now. Yes I took my son out of the Montgomery Public School system.
You are not alone, it's hard. You are your child's best advocate. If the speech teacher isn't working there are plenty more who will hit the mark with your child.
Keep asking questions until someone listens.
Please feel free to contact me. I have a list of speech and language specialists all over the area.
One moment @ a time.
L. M

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