My 2 & 1/2 year old daughter took her arms out of her carseat again. It's pulled up to her armpits and pulled tight. But she pushes it down & then slips her arms out. Any suggestions would be helpful. If it wasn't for her older brother, then I would have no idea that she did it until I got home. Please help me to keep her safe.
FYI - She is too big to be in a rear facing carseat. She doesn't have any particular toy, activity, or blanket that she likes more than another. I have pulled the car over and severely yelled at her to the point that she was frightened. I have told her that this is not acceptable. I've told her that she has to be safe and that this is where the straps need to be to keep her safe like her brother and me. I can not take her out of the car and tell her that she has to walk because then she'll run off in the other direction. She is a handful of a child.
Well, although some people wouldn't approve, when my kids wiggled out of their carseat straps when they were young, I pulled over, and gave them a swat or two.... not a beating, mind you... just a swat to show them how serious it was.
After a few of those times, it was no longer a problem. (Also.. we didn't have as good of car seats back then, and the straps were looser and they could do that easily....)
With me... safety was NOT optional.
ETA per your SWH - If none of this has helped, then you need to pull out the big guns. Make sure that she doesn't watch television or play with any electronics until she bends to your will on this. Put a calendar on the wall and mark with stickers each day that goes by that she obeys you. On days that she doesn't, mark a big FROWNY face. On days that she obeys, she can watch tv. When she pulls her arms out of the straps, take tv and any other fun activities off the table. Tell her that she doesn't get to have fun because of what she did in the car. If you were supposed to go somewhere fun later, THAT'S off the table too.
My son had temper tantrums for a while when he didn't get his way. He had a fit on the way to a matinee because he didn't want to stop for lunch first. Not only did we not go to the matinee, but we didn't go to lunch either. I drove right back home and put him in his room for an HOUR. I brought him a boring sandwich and gave it to him in his room and shut the door behind me. Everytime he cried to come out I told him that he made us miss movie and lunch out and he would stay in his room and think about his bad behavior until he learned that he could NOT treat his family this way.
This is what you need to do. Your child's behavior is more critical to fix than my child's was. Her life may depend on it.
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There are times you need to put the fear of God into a child. Running out in the street when a car is coming. Trying to touch a stove when the burner is hot. Stuff like that. THIS is one of these times.
Pull the car over and be HARSH with her. "You do NOT pull your arms out! NEVER!" If this doesn't work, then you need to take her most precious activity and toy away from her. If you go to gymnastics, for instance, take her and make her sit and WATCH her friends and NOT allow her to participate. If she has a favorite doll or lovey she sleeps with, take that too.
There should not have been a second time. You didn't discipline her enough if there was a second time. Don't let there be a third time.
Pull over, ask that she place the straps back on and wait. I've waited on the side of the road for over 30 minutes. During this phase I learned to always leave early.
You can also place a little electric tape, just below the straps to prevent them from pushing it down. One of mine figured out how to undo the tape, hence the 30 minute wait on the side of the road.
ETA................................................
In forward facing carseats, the straps should be at or above the shoulders. In rear facing the straps should be at or below the shoulders.
At this point they know how to get out of things, all you can do is teach her no.
I agree with Doris Day.
I had the same issue with my 6 year old grandson. He's in the regular seat and was doing the same thing. So we put him back in a 5 point harness car seat for 2 weeks. He hasn't done the arm thing again.
We can now say "I'm going to put that car seat back in if you don't sit right in that seat!!!!!!". Tonight he acted out so we stopped the van, I got out and took him by the arm, started him walking down a slightly dark country gravel road. He didn't like it at all. The storm that had just gone over helped a bunch. He could see lightening and it frightened him.
He has that fear in him that I can make him change his mind.
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And before anyone says it's not legal for him, at 6 years old, to be in a regular seat with just a regular seat belt then here is a copy of what the department of motor vehicles of Oklahoma says on their site.
"Children under six years old must be restrained in a federally-approved safety seat when riding in a vehicle.
Children between the ages of six and 12 must be restrained by an appropriate safety system or seat belt.
If you're in the market for one, you can shop online for a child car seat at any time. When ordering, be sure the car seat matches your child's height, weight and age.
If needed, the state provides helpful information on selecting the proper child safety restraint system."
That is not negotiable. Have you tried pulling over to the side of the road and just sitting there. When she asks why you stopped, you tell her that you will stay there until SHE puts her seatbelt on like it is supposed to be. You cannot go until it is.
What happens when you do that? Well, she will get tired of sitting in her car seat and not going anywhere really quickly. AND she will have to put back what she undid. She CAN you know. Sort of takes the fun out of getting you riled up and making you come fix things. If you want to let her know you are angry about it, that is fine, too. But make HER put it back on before you move the car another foot. Don't get out and come around and do it for her. Wait her out.
If she can get out, her straps aren't adjusted properly. Period.
There should be just barely enough room between her chest and the straps for your fingers to lay flat. If she's forward facing, the straps should come out of the carseat at her shoulder level, not far above.
If the straps are as tight as they should be, she shouldn't have enough room to wiggle out of them, even if she completely unclipped the chest clip. She shouldn't even be able to move the chest clip if the straps are as tight as they should be.
Here is a product just for this.. I saw something like this at Babies are us.
http://www.amazon.com/Houdini-Stop-Seat-
Chest-Clip/dp/B0044VUXGW
Anything like that I would pull over (if safe) and readjust her immediately. I would also tell her not to do that and that there will be x consequence. Whatever you think works with her. I had a friend tell me about the terror he felt going highway speeds when his 3 yr old unsnapped his harness. He pulled over as quickly as he could and I guess his reaction put the fear of something into the child because the kid quit doing it. I tell DD we wear seatbelts to be safe. We don't mess with the harness because it's not safe. She has a friend who thinks I pull the harness too tight and I don't want to carpool with that child anymore because I am not entirely comfortable with it. When DD asked why I pull the harness tight I told her it was to keep her in the harness if we were in an accident. If it is too loose, she'll fall out and get hurt. Even though she is little, try explaining these things. My DD messed with her harness once, we pulled over, she didn't do it again...but all kids are different.
I think the key here isn't finding some magic carseat that Houdini couldn't wriggle out of, it's teaching her that she MUST be buckled in at ALL times. 2 year olds are sticklers for things to be just right sometimes, keep telling her that we all have to be buckled in for us to be safe. If she gets out, pull over as soon as possible and reiterate that it is not ok to be unbuckled. I've stressed this with my 2 year old so much that he wants to be buckled in any time it's an option (shopping cart, high chair, etc). He also buckles his chest clip himself (I make sure it's clasped all the way, of course). He's very proud that he gets to do it all by himself. Perhaps incorporating her in the process will help her to comply?
Your daughter sounds a lot like my 4 year old. He is an absolute handful! He did this at that age as well, and I also struggled with it. I think the most effective thing I did was to simply pull over, get out, calmly put his straps on correctly and continue on my way. Getting upset didn't have as much of an impact on him as being calm.
My son, also, would not be upset about being told he had to walk home and would just laugh and take off running. He is just now beginning to understand that running out into the street is a bad thing. I have tried so many things to teach him that, and he is just now getting it. The good news is that he really is getting it now, and he is soooooo much more mature than he was last summer.
I have posted questions about him before, and have gotten many answers telling me that I simply need to learn how to discipline. Wow, guess I never thought of that! Seriously! Of course I tried that. Some kids are not going to respond to the obvious forms of discipline. That's why you're asking the question!
Hang in there, and keep trying. She will get the message eventually, and the really good news is she really will grow out of it!
Maybe a couple rubber bands under the chest clip will give it enough resistance so she can't push it down.
This is what worked for me.
I told my boys that the cop would take me away from them if they were not strapped properly.
That does not work all the time. Second option, I tell them I have their favorite food at home & we don't reach on time, it will be gone. I pull over & tell them that the car is not moving until they sit properly.
Maybe try a Britax seat? Rear-facing for age 2.5.
Our child cannot take his arms out. The nice recline from rear-facing and chest clip design are great!
