Daughter Had Ipod Stolen What Do I Do?

Updated on March 14, 2009
J.J. asks from Brenham, TX
28 answers

My 11 year old dd had been saving for an ipod. Last Friday she finaly had enough money and bout an ipod touch. She took it to school to show her friends, (I had no idea she did this). Well, it got stolen. She has a good idea who took it. The princ. searched her backpack Wednesday and called the girls mom. Mom said she hadn't seen it and nothing was found in her backpack. Some girls that ride the same bus and this girl said they saw her playing with it on the bus. As a parent what should I do? Stay out of it and chalk this up as a lesson learned or get involved? If I get involved which steps should I take? Thanks in advance for the suggestions.

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So What Happened?

Well, we haven't gotten the ipod back, I did file a police report in case it ever does show up. My daughter is wanting one for her birthday but have decided not to get one beacuse I really want her to learn a lesson from this, even though I am sure she has since she was devisted that she had saved money to buy it and it was stolen 3 days later. Thanks for all of your help.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

Unfortunately it is proably gone now. Wehad a teacher to get hers stolen from a kid and we did everything to try and get it back rewards, etc. We called the mother and there was nothing. Hpefully over the break she will play with it again and mom will find it if not. lesson to be learned. Hopes this helps.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Sometimes just the presents of a policeman will get some things rolling. Have one go by and question the family with the girl present. Also that the principal talk with some of the children who ride the bus with her. She needs to find out the crime is not the way to go.

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R.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree you are lucky if the school principal even talked to the student about this! I would file the police report and take a copy to the school so they know you are serious. It also will send a message to the student that was seen with it. If that student was bold enough to have it out in front of others, sounds like they are heading down the wrong path already!!
YOu could have your daughter write a letter to Apple campaigning them to track IPOD's. Many people have been putting on pressure to have them track them and disable them if stolen-it makes the appeal of stealiing it go away. Thank goodness she was at school and not in a public place. There have been reports of people running past kids with the earphones visible and snatching it from them!! If you replace it, they say get earphones other than the signature white ones!! We are a family with 4 IPOD's and luckily have not had this problem.
Another thing to identify it as hers-let her get stickers and bling it out. Makes it one of a kind.
I would make her wait before replacing it for her since she did go against the rules and take it to school. OUr school lets them take them for special events like field trips. But I can understand in her excitement of owning it finally, that she just wanted to show it to her friends!

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T.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I agree with Glenda.... Contact the police and file a report. Children need to learn that the police are authority figures and it sounds like the other girl could use some scare tactics. They need to learn to respect the law. Hopefully the other girl will realize the impact of her theft and come clean. My little boy had a habit of "taking little things". He actually got quite good at it till I started asking where the stuff was coming from. I was thinking dad bought it and dad was thinking I bought it. We have a friend that is a police officer and came to the house in full dress blues and police car. He told my son the difference about making good and bad choices. Made a HUGE impact on my son and he now realizes what he did was wrong and what could happen if charges were brought against him. Keep in mind my little boy was only 5 at the time but it sure scared him.

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R.B.

answers from San Antonio on

That's awful! I hate to say this - but I would stay out of it. Did she have your permission to take it anywhere and just took it to school? Was she allowed to have it at school? I'm only asking b/c if she wasn't supposed to have it at school - this would be the consequence for not following the rules.
Ugh! I know that's horrible - but we went through something similiar. My husband told me "We weren't the ones who took it to school!" and that was the end of it.
It was painful not only for my daughter...but to us too. As parents, we always want to step in and fix things. But - I'm glad we didn't on this one.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

It's a hard lesson to learn, but didn't you say that she took it to school without you knowing. Guess what, life is unfair and even though someone stole the ipod, the real point is that your daughter took it to school where they strongly ask that you don't, she didn't ask if it was ok to do this, and your more concerned that she saved and saved and that someone stole it? I guess that I'm making stricter what everyone is nicely trying to tell you, lesson learned-take care of your things!Ley her come up with solutions on trying to find it. We cannot run to our kids rescue and fix everything. She needs to do it. Support her but let her come up with the ways to find it-nonviolently!

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

Call the school, file a police report, if it happened on the bus, call the bus barn. Get the kids scared that stole that IPOD. AND YOU DO HAVE PERSONAL ID FOR THE IPOD THE SERIAL NUMBER, THAT IS ON THE BOX AND THE IPOD!! Yes your daughter needs to learn a lesson but not with something worth that much. If she just carelessly let people look at it and mess with it and lost track of, I would say let her learn her lesson, who needs to learn the lesson is the kid that stole.

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W.T.

answers from Austin on

I am so sorry for all of you. I have a 14 year old boy who has lost 2 Ipods (his Touch was nearly $400). Unfortunately, I did not have the wisdom to make him save for them. In any case, I will never ever have another Ipod product without the name engraved on it from Apple. It is worth a few more dollars to purchase through APple. I believe that is makes it less tempting for thieves and resell is more challenging.

I would do everything you can to advocate for her in this situation ~ it is a lessoned learned already. I know lots of kids take them on the bus but it just does not seem safe if they cannot keep them on their person. As for specifics, I don't know but I am pretty good at playing detective. If you have reason to believe you know who did it, have lots of people keep an eye on her. Maybe offer a silent reward to kids for handing over info that leads to the recovery of your property. I am a Christian and believe very strongly in the power of prayer. We recovered a skateboard that had been stolen for almost 6 months...prayer does work! I know you will get lots of ideas through Mamasource ~ best wishes in your endeavor.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

She wasnt suppose to take it to school which she did. I would let that be punishment enough. If you can get the ipod back from the girl that took it. Do so with out your daughter knowing any details or getting involved herself. I would think that the other girl would end up destroying it or trashing it to hide the fact she took it. perhaps not. If you do get it back. I personally would take it away for a month to show there are still rules that were broken even if she did save for it there are limits to what she can do with it. Good luck. I do hope you get it back in perfect condition. I am proud ( can I be proud?) that your daughter saved up to get what she wanted. Now to learn to protect the valuable things.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Gosh, this is the hardest part of being a parent.
You want to go in a save her. You know how hard she saved and how much she wanted the Ipod, but she made a bad choice.

The kids are told over and over again, not to take things to school that they do not want to be stolen or lost. The school did their part, but if it was not found, it is gone. The only thing that may make a difference is for your daughter and her friends to keep an out for the Ipod. Your daughter could also offer a cash reward for it's return with no questions.

This recently happened to my nephew. He also saved and saved for a very fancy Ipod. He took it to school and on that same day it was stolen. He has really learned his lesson. He is very careful with what he takes to school, ball park and even Sunday school (yes, things have 'gone missing there too).

In the future, be sure your daughter marks her possessions with her name and phone number. This way if the item is found or seen in the possession of someone else, she will have proof. Give her a hug and tell her this happens to people all of the time, but now you know she is going to be more careful about these things. I also like to tell people about "Karma," "what goes around comes around".

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

As a mom, please do not take it personal because... later on, she might expect you to solve her problems again. Bite your tongue, lip and hand and take it as a lesson learned for taking it to school and showing it to friends plus whoever was around. Have the girls on the bus told the principal about what they saw? What kind of mom doesn't notice her child has a new "not cheap" electronic!!! She's probably covering up. My sister has been a thief since she was small and my mom PRETENDED not to see anything until she realized some $100 bills went missing. What does a 5th grader need that much money for!! So yeah, carefully stay away and console your daughter. THere are mean greedy kids everywhere. Even in 2nd grade (my daughter goes through the same thing with her PENCILS and 1 ((only 1")) mp3 player she shouldn't have taken to school in the 1st place. THe teacher didn't care either.)

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P.B.

answers from Houston on

Although it is painful and frustating after saving for it, she has to learn the lesson.After all you have no real evidence who took it. Schools request not to bring that kind of stuff for a reason. If justice is not in your hands, let God take care of it.
I hope your daughter will feel better soon.

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D.J.

answers from Austin on

POssibly too late to do anything really but my daughter had the same thing happen except it was taken from our home when I wasn't around. . .

we called the police and filed a robbery complaint. Gave the police all the info including names and the serial number of the ipod (hers was one of the $400 vidoe ones that came out a couple if years ago so it was a "major robbery").

We (I) never heard from the police, but we heard through the grape vine that the kid was questioned. He didn't go to her school so there were no repercussions along those lines, but she was on the look out for him for a little while - just incase.

Anyway, it taught her to be a little more careful with her things and about who her and her friends let into the house.

If you have the box (serial number) then I would file a report, probably not going to get it back, but if the girl does have it, you have proof. If no serial number available, then you can still file a report, but even if she is found with one, there is no proof it is your daughters.

As far as what you should do, be supportive, but let your daughter do the reporting, it is an unfortunate lesson that she needs to learn one day, might as well be now, with you beside her.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

I'm sorry to here tha this has happened. I'm sure that she worked very hard to earn it. If you have already reported it stolen to the police, it sounds like the school has already done more than they should have to help her look for it.
She had to have known that she should not take something like that to school. This is going to have to be a hard lesson for her. There is little else that you can do. Like Laurie suggested, if you want to help her with a cash award, that is probably the last chance you hhave at recovering this iPod, sad as it is honestly, most kids know how much that iPod is worth and the iPod itself is more valuable to them then the money that it would take to buy it.
IMO, it would be a hard lesson and I would leave it be. This is a full circle teaching moment. "I know that you worked hard to earn it, but you were irresponsible in taking it somewhere that it was not allowed to show it off to your friends. This is why the school has these rules. It is sad and scary, but people will take advantage of these situations and that is why it is bast not to invite that kind of attention." But that is my parenting style, maybe not yours. It is a tough call.
Best of luck. I do have to say that I am impressed that an 11 yr old was able to save that kind of money. This shows some restraint. I know some adults that don't have that kind of focus.

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M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

That is a very hard lesson to learn at 11, but an important one. My daughter did the same thing except it was our new digital camera that she brought to a party.
I would say there is nothing more you can do. Was the IPod marked in anyway with her name or initials etc? If so and the girl happens to bring it to school then your daughter could alert someone and reclaim it.
I would maybe question the girls who said they saw her with it on the bus, but it gets very tricky, because what if she is innocent? It could be someone else completely.
The big lesson is do not bring that stuff to school.
Sorry

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

Get Involved. This one girl stole my new tennis shoes in middle school and she was the biggest bully in school. Withg my mom's help we eventually got the shoes! Ended up meeting with the princle one more time. My mom always has my back. The kind of the things that you stay out of are when your kid was in the wrong and they have to go and face the music by themselves. Good Luck!

God Bless!
_B

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

This is a horrible lesson to learn, I am so sorry to hear this for you and your daughter.

Since the principal took an interest in from the beginning, you might to re-approach them about it with the additional information about the bus and tell him/her that you will be filling a policy report since you have the ipod serial number... this might give the principal the leverage they need to address it with the suspected child AND THAT PARENT... the fact that the backpack was searched leads me to wonder if they haven't had similar problem with that child already.

If you say you're going to do it... then do it... file the police report... you never know when it might show up again.

If for some reason, the ipod is recovered... there should be some consequences for taking the ipod to school... even though you didn't know about, I'm sure your daughter was well aware of school policies (I'm speaking as a teacher here)... for example at my son's school... electronic games are taken up and not returned until the end of the school year to the parent.

Even though this is a horrible lesson to learn, you daughter is looking to you for the best way to respond in this situation... it is a lesson that she will carry with her for the rest of her life. I would definitely walk with her through this situation together not just say "oh, well... I hope you learned a lesson for taking something like that to school" because there is a bigger issue of what happens in a community when someone steals. We live in a nation where there are consequences for those who commit crimes and they should not be allowed to get away with it regardless of the circumstances that allowed them to commit that crime.

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G.K.

answers from Austin on

It may come to nothing, but you should file a police report and make sure your daughter is an active participant in the filing of that report. Check all the paperwork that came with the ipod, receipt included, for a serial number. The police department will give you more support than you will get from the school.
Young people (even most young adults) have lost track of values and the difference between right and wrong because a lot of them have a "I don't want to get involved" or "Oh well, sorry Charlie" mentality. It's time that our young people start learning some old time values.
If you do succeed in getting the ipod back, I would take it away for a short period of time as a consequence to your daughter for taking a prohibited item to school in the first place.

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M.M.

answers from Austin on

It itsn't clear if she took it to school knowing that she was wasn't allowed, or if this was just a terrible time to start making choices. I think this matters. If she didn't know that it was not ok I would totally go to the wall for her, this was something she wanted, waited for and earned and she deserves that. However, if she disobeyed and this was the result, then I hate it for you b/c the right thing to do is explain to her that you are very sorry, but when she makes adult decisions then she has to face adult consequences. Hope it turns up either way!

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

You've received some good advice. Please don't ignore your daughter took it to school without your knowledge. There needs to be a consequence for doing this and its not replacing her ipod. File a police report, offer a small reward etc so your daughter can see the natural consequences of stealing. The schools advise kids not take valuables to school for this very reason. I'm concerned it was out of her sight on the bus, was it just being passed around? While your daughter was excited to have it and show it .. this points out to less fortunate kids that someone is bragging. Someone might have wanted to teach her a lesson. Why does she think that girl has it, seems like several people might have handled it.

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C.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi J.~
I would have to agree that at this point there's not much you can do to recover it. So sorry to hear this happened. Its very frustrating I know.
I remember when my son was in daycare, I would mark his name on ALL his belongings- bottles, blankets, toys, cups, clothes, etc. and they still got 'misplaced'. I figured if the item got picked up by someone and it didn't belong to them ( it had my son's name on it ) it got returned right? Nope.
It was just gone.
Now that my son is in school, I don't allow him to take anything to school thats of any value to him.
Sorry again that she has lost her ipod, thats just terrible.
~Camille

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

I don't know how much ipods cost, but I doubt they're cheap. Your daughter wanted one bad enough to save for it. Of course, she should not have taken it to school, but she was proud of it and wanted to show it to her friends. If several girls have seen the girl in question playing with it, they, along with the girl, need to be brought before the principal and hash it out. She obviously is hiding it someplace. Your daughter has probably learned a good lesson, but there's no reason she should suffer for it. Hopefully the next time she buys/gets something of value she will engrave her name on it, because eventually this little girl will get brave enough to bring it out. A name or code number should be engraved on everything of value and this is a good time for your daughter to learn it. Don't let the principal get off so easy. It's her/his job to resolve problems like this.

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C.T.

answers from Houston on

Your daughter should tell the principal.

If she does not want to do it on her own, I think you should go with her. She will probably have to describe it and the songs on it. I would imagine the school will search her locker or desk and backpack.

I had my purse stolen in middle school. I had a purse that no one else had. 2 days later I saw a girl who had my purse. I had to describe it and everything in it. They went to the girls class and she had my purse.

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J.M.

answers from Austin on

That's a bummer for sure. But it happens, and she'll have better luck next time because now your daughter knows not to take her precious belongings to school...i've had important stuff ripped off even into college - required but expensive calculators minutes before exams!

But just to mention - are you POSITIVE that the searched girl was the one that took it? The "witnesses" on the bus actually saw it?

The only reason I mention this is because when I was in 5th grade at a public school I was searched in front of my entire class with no explanation. Later in the principal's office, I was told it was because some kids saw me leave a class last and that teacher had been robbed. Lucky for me, I saw the grown man that did it. I don't know who he was, just some sketchy guy that brushed by me on his way in.

That experience has stayed with me. The lingering understanding that as a student in a public school you have no real rights. That you are there to learn WHAT to think, not HOW to think. And every time I questioned something that just felt wrong, I was immediately shut down and sent off. "Authority figures" are people too, and sometimes they are wrong.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

It is definitely a lesson learned that kids these days steal. I would report it to the police as well. Another good lesson will be learned if u contact them...that u can do something about it and not just settle!!!!! I hope she gets it back. Kuddos for her for saving her money!!!!!

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

I would definately get involved and let the principal know the situation. You can always get the serial number from itunes store or the store you bought it from. Advise the children that you will find out who it is because there is a way of tracking ipods and a kid is usually easy to give in and give it up. Or you can send a notice and a "safe place" to leave it without any questions asked and see if it turns up. Soon after this announcement rumors are bound to also start on who has it. This worked at my kids school when a teacher's phone got stolen. Good Luck

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N.H.

answers from Houston on

NO! Absolutely not. Theft is THEFT! I would take it a step further & report this to the police. They will ask who she thinks took it. Although her pack was searched, there are still witnessess who say they saw the girl playing w/your daughter's ipod. She may or may be able to get that back but if your daughter made some kind of identifying marks on her ipod then it may be easy to prove it's hers. Ask the other girl's mom if she had bought her an ipod, ask to show a receipt if she did. Ask what color, etc. There are many things that can be done. To just sit back & do nothing further will prove to the theif, whomever it may be, that they got away w/it & nothing will be done to them. Having a bout w/police may just shake them up enough to tell the truth. Even if you have to interrogate each student, SOMEthing MUST be done! If one student blames another, have that student come in w/the first student. Kids are less likey to lie if they hafta face their accuser or vice-versa since the accuser is sitting right there & the supposed theif knows the other saw them do it or knows they did it. If it were me, I wouldn't just let it slide. I'd do something about it, no matter what it takes. Your family MAY make some enemies but you have your rights to back you up. If enemies are made, then they didn't need to be your friends in the first place. Good luck!!

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

Best of luck to you, If these kids saw her with it on the bus maybe if you re-contact the parent and let her know this info. she might approach this a little more seriously.

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