Date Night with Husband

Here's a wacky idea - are there family members that would be better with the older kids, and others better with the younger? Why not have 2 with 1 family member and 2 with another? If you do it this way, it's like a get-away for the kids - they get a break from each other. I'd suggest that the sitters come get the kids, or have a pair stay at home, and just drop the other pair off, whichever works.

Can you arrange sleep-overs for the oldest kids while a family member watches the younger kids?
Do you have more than 1 family member willing to watch kids? If so, maybe they can each take 2 kids on the same night.

We do date night at home. I make a nice dinner, we put the kids to bed, open some wine and just talk or watch a movie. Is not the same as going out, but its cheap!

We don't have anyone to watch our son. We haven't had a date outside of the house in over 3 years. My parents still work more then full time, including weekends. His parents live too far away. By the time we pay for a sitter, pay for dinner, or a movie, whatever...it's really not in our budget.

However, we have date nights at home. We have late dinners, where we sit and talk. We will both read the same book, and talk about the book after my son is in bed. We have a few games we love to play. We have a little two person fondue maker, and have fondue nights. We watch a movie together and eat pizza. (We usually do funny movies, because it's great to laugh together. Two of our favorite date night movies are The Other Guys, and Date Night.) We're planning on doing an outdoor dinner on the back porch, once the weather is right. We plan to buy a telescope and learn about astronomy together.

It doesn't matter WHAT you do, rather how you connect. We all need time to just sit and talk to each other. We make sure to keep the kid talk to a minimum, and also and stressful topics. We talk about the future, hopes, dreams, what we would do if we won the lottery, art, music, anything we can think of. For us, it's a time to relax, connect, and sometimes just be really silly. We don't suffer AT ALL, from not being able to do date nights out. Seriously!! When our son is in bed, he's there to morning. Our date nights don't feel different then being out, because it's an escape. It FEELS like a date, so that is all that matters!!

Do an internet search for at home date ideas, I'm sure there are many.

Babysitters.

I don't use my family unless I have to. It took us a while to find a good sitter, but now we have one. We pay her decently and she loves our kids. We go out seldomly because it's EXPENSIVE to pay for a sitter.

If we can't afford one, we send the kids to bed on time (which doesn't normally happen) and we rent a movie, play cards, cook together, just watch TV together, something.

My family is awesome - but they don't view my kids as their responsibility...they don't have kids so they want their weekends/nights to themselves. They watch them sometimes, but it's really a very rare occassion.

So go find a babysitter and head out.

Can you split them up? 2 Kids with Gram and Gramp and 2 with Nanny and Pop?

Before we moved to FL (to be close to my family), we were in the "no help" zone with respect to childcare, so we had to hire a sitter to go out. It made a night out pretty pricey in the end, so we rarely went out. Then we discovered the lunch date! Our offices (at that time) were pretty close together and I was often able to work from home, so we would meet for a nice lunch out each month. No alcohol, but a solid hour of good food and no kids... wonderful!!

Sneak the time in when you can and be creative. Asking a grandparent to take 4 kids for the night is a lot, but asking them to pick the preschooler up after lunch for an hour so that you can have lunch is pretty doable.

I babysat for a family of 4 in HS and a family of 8 in college. Ask around and see if you know someone with a responsible older teen looking to make $$. You can also post a "babysitter wanted" ad at local colleges. It's going to cost $$, but it's a good back up plan.

If your family is unwilling or unable to watch them, you will need to hire a sitter. Only a few more years and you can use older sibling to do this for you. Sometimes we opt for cheap dates at Chipotle or walks on the beach to temper the cost of date night. Budget in the babysitter once a month even if you have to make cuts elsewhere.

Don't rely on your family. Get a sitter.

We believe date night is crucial, so much so that we still go out for date night weekly. When daughter was younger, we spent $60-$80 a week on a sitter. It was that high of a priority.

You don't have to go somewhere fancy and expensive every time. We love great restaurants and fine wine so we do a lot if that as well as sporting events, concerts, just walking through the mall. I tag along when he plays golf, etc.

Get a sitter and go enjoy! Check out your neighborhood , high schools, local colleges etc for sitters. Pay the sitter well enough and in cash tgatvshl keep coming back!

Have you heard the expression, "everywhere you go, there you are"? It's not usually used in this context, but if can be relevant. Date night doesn't need to be a destination. It can be an at home activity where you two check in with each other, and do something fun/ out of the ordinary.

We have one 2 year old. My parents are great in that they provide before and after care for him together with daycare. They don't readily volunteer to take him so that we can have a date night. We don't have other family around. Sitters can be expensive.

Our DS goes to bed at 8pm. Every so often 8:15, instead of doing chores, or catching up on bills, or laying out suits for the next day, we sometimes uncork a bottle of wine and - play a board game, skype with a friend, watch a silly show together, play badmitton, make ice cream sundaes.

Other times, when we want adult company, we have friends come round at 6:30ish, and stay till 9:30/10, DS gets a bit of time with company, we get some adult company after he's in bed.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Regular date nights are so important!!

Your oldest can start watching while you and your hubby go close by for a lunch date..

We now have a built in babysitter...it is wonderful. Our oldest is 13 and has been watching the younger 2 for awhile now. The others are 10 and 6. We make it a fun night for them also. A movie...pizza...individual container of favorite ice cream for each kiddo.

We pay our son to babysit..but at a very,very low rate. He only gets paid if the younger two say he was nice and helpful. We also give the younger 2 a couple bucks if our oldest said they were kind and followed directions. It is working out beautifully for us...so far.

Also, get into a baby-sitting swap with friends. Once a month date nights for both families on different nights. You watch their kids for a few hours on a Friday night...they watch yours the next weekend on a Friday night.

Then fork over some money for a babysitter occasionally for longer dates when you want to spend a day away doing something fun. We use teenagers from our church. Our kids looooove to have a real babysitter come play with them!!

We also do a lot of date nights at home. We get the kids to bed a little earlier and tell the oldest it is time for him to go hang out in his room til his bedtime. Then my hubby and I watch a movie or play a game...or just sit and talk.

You can make date nights happen with a little planning and creativity.

Enjoy!!!

Can you trade nights with a friend? You take her kids for a night and then she takes your kids? I do this for appointments that come up during the day. My SIL doesn't live near family, so she does this with one of her friends. They trade every other month. For example, her friend goes out in April and my SIL watched the kids. Then in May my sister in law goes out. That way there is some flexibility in the schedule. They have been doing this for almost two years and it works great for them.

Or can you split the kids up? Get and aunt to take 2 and your mom to take the other 2?

Hire a sitter?

It's definitely not the same, but we often do date things after our kids are off to bed. Board games on our patio with some wine, movies, special late night dinners, special grown up dessert, etc. It kind of helps us get some alone time between dates (which happen too rarely in this house too).

check with your H.S. counseling office.....they should have babysitter recommendations.

& just as a sharing: my DH & I are entering that "woohoo stage"! You know, where we're left home alone! & yes, tonight is one of those nights!

But through our sons' younger years, we went without & pretty much put our relationship on hold. Not the best way to handle life, but he had his fishing/hunting/etc & I had my day trips with my Mom +/- sons. We had our breaks & it kept us going.

Sooooo, if date night doesn't happen often....remember there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel! We call it "Naked Night"!

I don't know what your state law is....but when your 11 year old is old enough to babysit, have them do it! I was babysitting my 3 cousins by the age of 11 and they were *wild*! It would still be fair to pay them, but maybe less than the 'going rate' because they're family. Or maybe in babysitting for you, they could earn privledges for themselves like a sleepover or something.

Babysitter!

If you're in nursing school... Hit up a classmate that's single/childless.

I used to 'pay'
$20
Home cooked meal
Quiet place to study

I worked nights.
They came after my son was in bed
Stayed 9 hours

Worked for date nights ending in 4-6 hours (midnight or 2), as well.

We don't have family around and using my oldest is nice but I pay her just like I would any other sitter and its not as much fun for them. Locally we have "paren't night out" with the local youth center and there are other places that offer this as well. While it is an expense, the kids have a blast and we get 5 hrs to ourselves once a month. Good Luck

We also do alot of "inside" Date nights...dinner, movie, beer or wine. Sometimes we will go in the basement playroom and play darts or something as well.

Trade babsitting services with another mom. You could have a family member watch one or two of your kids while the other mom watches the others if you don't know another mom of four kids to make it a fair trade. My kids are 7 and 10 and I've never hired a sitter, just took turns with friends. Also, have your 11 year old take the babysitters course now so he/she'll be ready to babysit for you when he/she turns 12. I don't have a problem with babysittters, I'm just too cheap to pay one!

Sorry to ask this but what is the issue with watching all 4 of the kids? Is it the number of kids? are your family members older and cannot contain them all?

I know in my area there are parents night out type of events where the kids can be dropped off for a set number of hours and the parents go out for the evening. See if those are available. Also, could you look into a set of sitters, like 2 responsible teens to stay with your kids for the evening while you go out for dinner?

Last recommendation, don't know if you work or if your school schedule allows but could you and him take a long lunch break one day or even an entire day off from work to just be you two?

I certainly understand the need for date night. It makes me sad that family isn't willing to help you in out in a time of need. You can't be good to your kids if you aren't being good to yourself. Take care!

Get a baby sitter. The kids are not babies so it should not be a problem to get a sitter. What do you do when you go out with friends, weddings, etc etc. For a dinner out, I can't imagine you would be out more than three hours max or are you talking about an overnight somewhere with husband. Not sure what "date night" means.

We have ran into this once but we only have two, but we just plan it further out like 3 weeks to a month so everyone can be on the same page when it comes time for date night as to where the kids go.

We have no family, so we do use babysitters. It's a cost, to be sure, but it's an investment in our relationship. This might mean going to a movie OR dinner, or maybe a cheap dinner and second-run movie. Or just staying at the pub and getting a chance to chat over a drink and dinner. It's worth the $10 an hour or so our sitters charge.

We hire a friends kids to babysit or a neighbor lady. Someone from church, from the child care center down the street, there are tons of people out there that would babysit. You just have to call around and find them.

hire a sitter. I'm in the same boat. We have date nights very sporadically as it is EXPENSIVE!

also you can create a datenight at home? Maybe eat a candlelit dinner at home alone when kids are in bed...maybe hard for you since you have an 11 yo who probably isn't in bed too early. My 3 are in bed before 8.

Sounds like it's time to hire a sitter. You 11 year old probably has friends or classmates with older siblings. I also have 4 kids, same age spread as yours, and have never had issues finding responsible, reliable teenagers who were capable of watching them.

You don't have to make every date night a night out, but should try to get a sitter and go out at least once a month. The other nights can be "date night" after you put the kids to bed - get some take out, watch a movie, whatever.

Another alternative is to make "date night" a daytime thing. When my ILs are in town and want to take the kids out for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon, we try to take that time to treat ourselves to something we can't do with them around, like go see a movie, have lunch in a nice restaurant, or go for a motorcycle ride.

Can you get a sitter to watch the kiddos for you?

Or can you plan something for after they go to bed? Like a late dinner where you do something special, just the two of you?

ugh we are in the same boat! Im 30 & have 3 kids ages 2-9. You would think a family member wouldnt mind having my little angles for a while so we could spend some time together as husband & wife but NO. No one can help us out!

I have put the kids to bed & rented a movie & wine. But its not the same as ""going out together" so that didnt really help us. We end up just going to dinner with then most of the time. That;s our date. Its a family date. lol

Good luck. Try it. Tell the kids you are all going on a date & hope they behave. I guess no dating for us. Sorry I wasnt much help. Just wanted you to know youre not alone