Christmas Perspective

Well, "Christmas Perspective" means realizing and understanding that EVERYONE is busy trying to see family (all family) at this time of year.

As someone that married into a family where inlaw members had their "pat" holidays all sewn up for years, it has been awesome when they DO realize and understand that my husband now has a completely doubled set of family and obligations, and that we sometimes just can't make it to/for certain things.

Good luck & Merry Christmas!

No not too sensitive at all, it is RUDE for peopleto wait until the last minute to let you know they have made other plans, they should have told you before today!

Happens to everybody. We all have so many obligations and commitments right around Christmas, and all of them are good things to do. You can choose not to be hurt about this. Choose to think the best of your relatives, and see what happens next year. (I'm sorry this posted twice!)

Maybe a little, but it is that time of year and sometimes our expectations just don't go as we like.

You are not being too sensitive. If they told you with more notice, it would be understandable but waiting until this close to when they are expected (after shopping would be done) is rude. Besides, with college aged kids, they certainly could have prepared ahead of time and still make at least a quick appearance at your home.

Tell them you are disappointed that you won't' see them and then have a great time without them.

Understandable, but yeah a little sensitive too. In a perfect world, they would have had everything in their lives line up so that they were ABLE to prepare fully before Christmas. But we don't know how busy they were with what, so sometimes things just happen, and people aren't able to be fully prepared for EVERYTHING every year. So now, they need to get ready for some things for an event they're hosting with other family. The wife's family is just as important as the husband's family, right? At least some of them are coming to spend time with you---you're still a priority, but they still have other obligations! Feel loved, that "even though" they are hosting something, they are still making extra arrangements just so they can see you too. Feel blessed, that they're in your life to begin with.
Merry Christmas!

Well I would be annoyed that they waited until the last minute to tell you but honestly, this kind of thing happens. When people get married they are no longer just a part of your family but a part of their spouse's family as well. Why not have them over for dinner later in the week?

A little too sensitive...they have just chosen to do something a little different this year. Nothing says that everyone has to do the exact same things every Christmas.

I don't think you are being sensitive at all. I think telling you they aren't coming this late in the game is rude. Very rude.

A little too sensitive? Maybe. As someone who has a huge family and 4+ Christmases to goto every year, it sucks to try and make everyone else's obligations when most the time I would rather just sit home with my nearest and dearest. It doesn't mean I don't love the other family members...Christmas time just gets to be a lot. Maybe just try and understand where they are coming from. Or suggest rescheduling for a later date when things settle down, I'm sure they would still love to see you!

Happens to everybody. We all have so many obligations and commitments right around Christmas, and all of them are good things to do. You can choose not to be hurt about this. Choose to think the best of your relatives, and see what happens next year.

Not sure how old your children are, but as a mom of a recent college graduate, I will tell you, she usually did not fly in until the 22 nd r 23. Finals and packing up a room takes time., so it was not until she was home, we could give her the line up of all of the Christmas events.. Usually it takes us many days to visit each family member that wants to visit with her for the holidays.
Then the fact that we have all of our relatives in town makes it even more stressful, because everybody has stuff scheduled overlapping each other.

And so just trying to spend time with our own parents was hard enough, but add in cousins, aunts, uncles, her close friends. Makes it very stressful already. I agree, try to meet up with them soon. But it does not have to be at your home and not on a major holiday.

yes, you can feel hurt...& yes, you are being too sensitive. How's that for playing both sides of the fence?

Please be thankful for the time you have had together. As families mature, schedules change....sometimes at the very last minute. This really isn't any different from a snowstorm hitting or a sick child. Adaptability makes life so much easier & pleasant for all involved. :)

Make plans for a fun evening/afternoon with this family....it will be appreciated by all involved. Merry Christmas & enjoy this life we've been given!

Honestly, I would be hurt. I understand changing traditions, but you have been anticipating this and the late notice is not considerate. However, having adult children, with their every changing arrivals, I hope you might consider that they did not plan to cancel, but things got mish-mashy! Have a wonder-filled Christmas!

Yes, I'm sorry, but you are. I'm sure that your Christmas breakfast is lovely, but other relatives have other sides of their family and inlaws. Sometimes traditions change. Other relatives have family members who marry and new inlaws to include or kiddults who spend part of the holiday with partners' families, parents or parents in law who become too old/frail to continue their hosting duties, or out of town relatives who don't often visit in for the holiday. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, you may view your Christmas breakfast as the highlight of everyone's holiday, but other relatives must split their time among various relatives and your gathering may not be their first priority. You should continue to host this event if you love to do so, but please realize that others are not obligated to attend, and may choose other family activities. It doesn't mean that they don't like you, but please don't hold others to your own expectations. Enjoy your holiday breakfast with the relatives who choose to come and partake in the festivities!

Oh not to worry try to plan another visit It is really tough spreading out so thin during the holidays with such a limited amount of time. Of course it's sad, but they probably haven't seen her family either very much. huggg

I can see how this would hurt, I would think if i was you, since you said you do this every year, that maybe they thought this was a good idea and wanted to do something like it. ( with my family we have lots of family and friends right now its Christmas eve and my brother has about 6 of his friends over that spent the night last night.) Their family may be the same way and instead of bringing more people to yours and feeling horriable about that, they decided to do a lunch one because it will allow their other ( Family/ friends to join) and two because maybe they thought that it wouldnt step on your feet, and maybe thought they would still be able to make it. I wouldnt get hurt by it, just think WOW I GOT AN AWESOME IDEA AND OTHERS ARE TAKING TO IT...
Hope that helps

Holiday mornings are always crazy. I don't even try to plan anything for before noon.

Yes.....see if there is a time when you and their family to just get together after Christmas (before New Year's Eve). They have a right to have their events too.

Yes. Must be flexible during the Christmas season. People have many obligations and cannot be everywhere.

Updated

Yes. Must be flexible during the Christmas season. People have many obligations and cannot be everywhere.