Cell Phones.... - Mount Pleasant,PA

I bought my daughter a cell when she started the 6th grade and had to ride the bus. There were many times due to my work schedule that she was at the bus stop by herself for a good amount of time and it was nice that she and I could talk on my way to work and I didn't have to worry about her.

I think it depends on the reasons why the child has the cell phone and what services are provided. I agree with age 12 for most kids.

My daughters each got their cell phones when the started middle shcool. My reasoning behind this is for safety. They walk home from school. Ocassionally they need to stay after school, they forgot about a club meeting or need extra help, and I want them to able to call me. They become more independent and spend time with friends away from home, I want to be able to reach them. If I'm supposed to pick them up at a certain time and I'm stuck in traffic, I can call and let them know I'm running late. If they have an activity that ends early, they can call and ask for a ride.

I do not allow texting and there is no internet connection for the phone. I feel that these items are "toys" and not necessary.

Just my two cents :) Our rule is that you get a cell phone when you have a job or start driving, whichever comes first. Not that my kids pay for their cell phones, it is just our "rule."

Of course, each family has their own comfort level.

I don't think there is a set rule of thumb on age. It is what is best for your family.

Some people are adamant about no phones for whatever reason, others are more open minded and see them as a safety.

My 15 yr old had her first one by summer of 4th grade. She was going to sleepovers, camp for a week, and we personally wanted her to have a way to contact us asap.

We look at it as a safety thing when she's away from us. It came in handy in that regard a year ago and her friends with no cell phone used her phone to contact their own parents once when school was on lockdown and everyone was scared.

Now she does have the full priviledge of texting, etc and we text a lot here. She averages 5500 texts a month and I am not far behind her. The text feature has helped when couldn't call but used it to notify us of an issue.

We permit the phone as long as her grades are up, she is in all honors courses, she travels with the orchestra and cheer squad. It is not an option to NOT have a phone for her right now.

We all use Iphones here but she started with a simple Motorola flip phone.

I know I am different from a lot of moms but your just have to make the choice best for your family.

Well this is one for "to each is own" lol. I have 2 girls and a mother in law that lives with me, my oldest daughter is 11 and has had a phone since she was 8, reason for that was she would always go to the store with my mother in law and should her diabetes get the better of MIL my daughter can call for help, which has happened before. My 9 year old has had a phone since she was 7 she has been involved in many school clubs and BOTH my girls have been VERY VERY responsible with their phones. I think it really is up to Mom and Dad to decide and not get a phone because all the other kids have phones or because they have reached the "magic" number. It all depends on you and the maturity level of your child.

Hi T.,

Our girls got their cell phones a little earlier than I would have normally given them. Both of them spend time alone with my Dad at the nursing home and the outside line from the building was actually in a different area code than our home two miles down the road (thus a non-working long distance call.) We felt it necessary to give them easy communication with us at any time. Neither are allowed to call anyone that is not free on our plan but they can text til their little heart is content. Both girls have abided by the rules and they have only cost us the additional $9.95 a piece to be added to our plan. Safety is the only reason a kid should have a phone.

God bless,

M.

I don't think there is an arbitrary "age" where a cell phone is appropriate. Personally, I feel that giving your child a cell phone is acceptable, a good idea even, when they are in situations where they are alone and may need to contact you. For example, if they are on a sports team or belong to an organization where they'll be at practice after school or at meetings, etc., and you aren't present. Or if they walk to or from school, or any place else on their own, for that matter. If they stay overnight with friends or family frequently (yes, these people should have phones, but this would just be an added reason I might consider a cell phone). Or if they have a job and can pay for the bill on their own. Certainly if they're driving without me in the car.

I'll never say that my son won't have a cell phone until he's X years old. I'll most likely get him one at the point at which I WOULD feel better with him having one for safety reasons.

Yes, I know we all survived without them, but this is a different world we live in, it's a different way of life, and if it's one additional measure to keep my son safe, he'll have one.

I think it is up to each individual parent/family to make that call. We got one for our eldest (13yo now) when she was in the 5th grade for Christmas (she was 10 about to turn 11). We got it b/c we wanted her to have more freedom to go off with her friends (ride bikes/go to the park/spend the night/etc) for safety and to be able to reach me. Now it has been a great tool for us as she is able to call Mom or Dad or any of our family members whose numbers she has, if she needs or wants to. She has taught my mom to text and will get texts from her grandparents/us and even her cousins. I think my other two will be a bit older when they get phones b/c of the fact that right now most of their friends are right in the same neighborhood that we live in now. She does have rules about the useage and she knows I will check her phone at any given time.

I laugh b/c I was the parent that said not until 12/13 but when I sat back and realized that due to her own schedule and social life and indepence, she needed one (besides we don't have a landline and she was killing my battery lol). She also will text me just silly things and for us it has kept the communication lines open.

In my opinion they get a cell phone when it makes it easier for you to be their parent. My daughter ABSOLUTELY had a cell phone at 7 (a month or so before she turned 8) and I feel it was the best decision for us. For anyone to blanket say it was "wrong" just has circumstances that have not warranted a cell phone at that age. We did, but I also recognize not everyone does.

We have rules about her cell phone use and my daughter is a VERY responsible kid. She knows that the phone is not for social use yet (for example if her friend wants to invite her to sleep over they call MY phone and she can talk to them on my phone so I can regulate). She also uses it to text/talk to her dad (he stopped accusing me of erasing his messages and not letting her hear them once he had a direct route to conversation with her - even though she heard every msg and I was the one who always encouraged her to call him), text her step-sister and communicate with me or other family as needed.

Her dad lives out of state and she goes to visit him for an entire week at spring break and 10 days in the summer. Especially when she was 7/8 I needed her to have a way to call me / text me because her dad and I do not have a good relationship.
That school year (3rd grade) she participated in after school activities and began to spend the night with friends and it was a fabulous way to communicate with her about pickups etc.
Also, this school year (she was 8 turning 9) she rides the bus and participates in after school activities. I need to be able to communicate with her if there is a problem.
Additionally, she spends a lot of time with family (in lieu of a babysitter since I am a single working mom) and it is just MUCH easier to call her directly.

Good luck with your decision.

I don't think there is a set answer. My oldest was in 5th and my second was in 6th when we gave them theirs. I started my oldest with a firefly. It was the one that called mom, dad, 911 and only the couple of people i programmed. (It did not have a number pad, no dialing, no texting) I am not sure if they have them anymore, but it was nice for a little one.

I agree with you in giving her one when she starts more activites. There is so much going on at that age. It is nice to know that you can get a hold of them at anytime.

I think you should do what you feel is right for your family and children. Some children are responsible at an earlier age than others, some families may be apart more than others, some children may be with other families and friends more etc. It is up to you as a parent to decide when the time is right and don't worry what other people say/think. As parents we always face judgement. We bought my step son a cell phone when he was 8 because of special circumstances. We had no other way to talk to him and my husband was really wanted to be able to talk to him even when he isn't with us. He could not call his mom and talk to him that way because she wouldn't answer the phone when he called her cell phone and they don't have a land line. Anyway, if this was a normal situation we would have waited until he was older but since it was either get him a cell phone or not talk to him we chose the cell phone. We have put parental controls on it and put a small list of numbers in the phone-us, his mom and grandparents. He can't physically call anyone else right now because the phone won't let him. We have blocked text messages,picture messages and going on the internet. We get a print out of who he calls and who calls him with our phone bill and we can access this information at anytime through our phone carrier on the internet. He is 10 now and as he matures we will change the controls. This works for us(except when his mom turns his phone off or takes it from him). GOod luck!

My rule is 16. You don't need one until you start driving. There's no reason to have one for other thing. I have the oldest great grandson in the family, but my 28 cousins range from 29 y/o to new born. Only two of them got phones before they were 16 thus far. It was a family that bought all three of the kids phones at once. Single mom with the kids getting rides from all sorts of families and such. Otherwise 16 has worked out very well for the rest of the family.

We didn't get our oldest, now 23, a cell phone until he was 16. That was our rule. Our next son, now 15, got a cell phone at early 14. His personality is different and is much more responsible than the older son.

Rules:
He cannot carry around whenever he wants.
He cannot chit chat on it.
There is NO text!
There is NO extras at all!
It is used like a walkie talkie, "Time to come home for dinner." "Mom, I'm going to Jesse's house."
It is to be plugged into the charger when he's home, in the kitchen.
We track his minutes and calls online since he uses our family plan.
We check his phone on occasion for inappropriate photos since it has a camera.
He's aware of all rules.

Add him to your plan and allow NOTHING extra on his phone like NO TEXTS! All of that is SO unnecessary. What is the purpose of the phone? To contact Mom and Dad, right? Well, then set it up for that. They see friends all day and if they want to chat with a friend on the phone let them use the house phone and time them for 15 minutes. Send them outside to play!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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** I wanted to add that by the time they're about 16 and have a part time job, as 16 year olds should, buy them a "pay as you go" phone so they can buy their own minutes. The rule is that they MUST answer the phone when you call though or you will take the phone away, no matter who bought it. It's a trust issue and respect issue.

Our daughter is only 5, but I have no plans of her having a cell phone in the future. Major cancer researchers in the U.S. have said that children should not have or use cell phones due to cancer risks because of thinner skull bones than adults have. My gut instinct tells me that we will be seeing a prevalence of brain cancers due to cell phones in the future. We all lived quite fine w/out cell phones when we were kids -- and so will my child.

I think it all depends. My oldest son has wanted one for the past few years ( he is 14 now) a year ago his bio-dad and I talked and agreed to get him a cell phone IF Tyler would work on his grades, Tyler hasn't kept up his end of the bargain, so he doesn't have one. When we do get him one, there will be rules attached, it won't be a free for all, and he will know that it is a privilege not a right. We have looked into the pay as you go options, I found a month to month with unlimited minutes and texts for $45, seems a little steep, but part of the draw is us being able to get in touch with him as well ( he has a lot of activities) and it wouldn't make much sense if he burned through all of his minutes in the first week. I suggest a cell phone contract between you and your child if you decide to get one.

I would say when they start spending time away from parents (whether due to sports, other activities, hanging out with friends, etc). My son got his this year in 6th grade. I've found that it's really been useful. My daughters are in 3rd and 2nd, and there have actually been a couple of times where I wished they'd had cell phones because I needed to talk to them about something and the nobody was picking up the house phone or cell phone of the friend's house they were playing at. I've told them that if they decided to seriously play a sport and be on an travel team or have extended practices, I would get them a phone. I fully expect they'll get theirs sooner than their brother did. Another kinda nice side effect of my son having a phone: he and I text each other sometimes and it's been a nice addition to our already good relationship.

Hi, T.:

When they are old enough to pay the bill.

Good luck. D.

According to you we are in the "just wrong" category, as our 7yo has his own cell. ;)

- So he can call 911 in case of emergency (we do NOT have a land line nor do over half of our and his friends' families, also if -god forbid- we were in a car accident and I was unconscious and he was not, or at any point where he might need to call 911 from at the park or any other place. Pay phones have all but been eliminated. When I was a child I was taught to use a payphone or a neighbor's phone. In HIS childhood... most families are dual income and no one is home, and there are no payphones.)

- GPS tracking in case of emergency (which will work even if the phone is shut off, as long as the battery is still IN the phone)

- So he can always always always get ahold of me... whether at a sleepover, or a friend's house, or being babysat, or at a class, or at camp, or even at home if his dad's temper snaps and I'm out.

- To teach proper phone behaviors young. This ranges from paying his own bill (which he does out of his allowance), to cell etiquette.

- Educational purposes. Right now, it's primarily the star map... although we've also done some triangulation with it, as well as google maps & bus routes/train schedules with it. Plus how to get emergency services in various countries.

There are other reasons as well, but those are the major ones.

My first cell phone was a Firefly. I could only call my parents and 911. I got it when I was 5. I got my first real phone when I was 7. And it IS NOT WRONG. I am 11 and I have a Blackberry Curve. so ha