California DUI

He needs to contact an attorney as soon as possible. Certain rights are time sensitive and will be lost if he does not act right away. For example, in California you only have 10 days to request a hearing with DMV. He needs an attorney that specializes in DUI, there are attorneys who do nothing but DUI defense. The attorney will also be able to help get him into an appropriate rehab.
Once he is in rehab the counselors there can help the family learn how to deal with his alcoholism. Good luck to you both.

Probably the best bit of tough love you can give him is to make sure that he abides by and pays for ALL of the costs and punishments associated with getting a DUI, If his license is suspended or restricted, make sure he doesn't drive. Have him use public transportation not depend on you or other generous friends for rides. If he has to attend "alcohol education" courses as a part of his punishment make sure he pays for them and attends them on time. Make sure he stays on track with his "community service"
If his blood alcohol was 0.11 he was legally intoxicated and there is not much he can do other than plead guilty and accept the punishment. It is reassuring to hire a lawyer, but don't expect to get off the hook, just because you have one.
If he got caught DUI, it's pretty sure that he has driven impaired before. Let's hope that this is enough of a wake up call in his young life that will help him be more responsible and conscientious in his decision making in the future.

Everyone has issues - everyone. The legal limit in CA is .08, so he did test high. Some health insurance do cover alcohol rehab, so you have to call and ask your provider. Since the family has cut him off, it sounds like he has had problems in the past - are they all alcohol-related? In other words, is he an alcoholic? The tough love approach means you would tell someone that you can't be around them when they are doing "thus and so." It doesn't mean you shut them out completely from your life. Rejection, bannishment? Do people really think that changes a person's behavior? They will just find people like them to hang around with. A good attorney can get a charge reduced or dismissed. The police make a lot of mistakes (I have two members of my family that are/were in the Highway Patrol), and they can perform a test incorrectly or process it wrong and make other mistakes that an attorney can ferret out. Saying that, I wouldn't want to be in a car by your brother if he was driving truly drunk. Showing shame and disgust towards your brother won't change things. Tell him to call you when he has been drinking and wants to get in a car and go somewhere. Tell him to call you before he gets drunk! Also, our society makes a huge deal out of drunk driving, and rightly so, but a lot more people are sick and die from overeating or eating food that is not healthy and endanger their families along with them. A lot of overeating has to do with emotional issues that are every bit as difficult to overcome as why one is an alcoholic. It is all in one's perspective. A really good book that deals with emotional issues is, "Clean House, Strong House" by Kimberly Daniels (it has nothing to do with a physical structure) and your library may have it. K.

I do not think that health insurance covers alcohol rehab. When I looked into it for my husband our excellent insurance did not cover it. I've also heard that it is not worth consulting an attorney for a DUI. The cost of a DUI (fines, etc. ) are about $5,000. My husband got a DUI about 20 years ago and his dad did hire an attorney and they were able to get it down to a reckless driving. My brother got a driving under the influence (10 years ago) and he fought it (he was accused of using drugs) and he lost even though he still claims he wasn't using drugs. My parents loaned him the money and they paid him back. However, he was in college and this incident was very out of character for him. I had another friend who got a DUI and it changed his life - he straightened up, did his time of no driving, and basically reformed himself. You should resist the urge to help him and let him handle this. He's not the first 22 YO to get a DUI.

Hi Mama-
The legal limit is .08, so anything over is considered illegal. Depending on his dependency, his use, and his metabolism, it may or may not be high for him, but it is too high for legal driving.
As far as rehab, some insurance companies do cover it, but you need to go to a 30 or 60 day treatment or a 30-60 day outpatient program. Many times, they are court ordered. But as far as your brother needing help, until he is ready to be sober or thinks he has an issue, there will be nothing to fix. That sounds terrible, but addiction is just that- a terrible disease. And until a person is ready to hear, ready to change, and ready to stop what they are doing, they will not. They have to believe that they have a problem and want to change it themselves, even if they need your help.
What you can do is offer resources- names and locations of rehabs in your area, rehabs that his insurance covers, and the willingness to support him when he is ready. I suggest you, as a family member what wants to help but doesn't know how, to go to al-anon. Meet with the families regularly, get support, and get tips. Tough love is h*** o* both you and the addict, but it really does work.
Good luck
He can do this, and so can you.
-E. M

A .11 is considered high. i work for a criminal defense lawyer and one thing we NEVER do is cut the fee on a DUI because we wholeheartedly believe that paying the price is part of learning the lesson. You can be there for him, but don't do what he needs to do for him. In other words, don't pay his fines - make him find the money to pay them. If you don't, it won't be such a big deal and he won't stop to think before doing it again. just like a child, the consequences need to be severe enough to get his attention. The high fines, the jacked-up insurance rates, the license suspension - make him take public transportation - do not be there to give him a ride all the time. Yes, help sometimes, but for the most part, let him feel and live the consequences on his own. After all, you didn't put the alcohol, pour the drink, slosh it down his throat and then put him in the car did you? If I had a penny for every DUI client who asked me "now that my license is suspended how do YOU expect me to get to work?" My answer: "I don't expect anything of you. I assume your boss expects you to be there but as for me, I have no expectations of you." After all, whether they went to work or not didn't affect me as long as their attorneys fees were paid!

One of my favorite sayings from a Student Assistance training I went to as a new teacher goes like this: "You didn't cause it. You can't fix it> You can only control you."

It's got to be heartbreaking to see your brother in so much trouble and struggling. You can offer your emotional support, and offer suggestions, but he has to want to do the work. Tough love does not mean no love. It means not enabling, not doing his job, not letting him get away with things that hurt you. If he is an alcoholic, the first time through treatment will probably (statistically) not be successful. If he does have insurance, there should be a number on his ID card that you can call to find out what is covered.

Best of luck and strength to you and your brother in your struggles.

Hi Busy M. The legal limit for alcohol in Nevada since 2003 is .08--don't know what it was before. I am sorry for your pain about your brother. Been there, done that again and again. To continue answering your practical questions, many health insurance plans do cover alcohol rehab, with different requirements, for example, some places require detoxification before rehab. It's an individual thing depending on the level of alcohol dependency. Sounds like your brother needs some direction and counseling. If he is alcohol-dependent, he needs to be counseled by an objective person with experience in the field. Families should be supportive until and unless it becomes insupportable. It is one of the toughest issues anyone ever has to face, to help or "cut him off." If he is employed and willing to go to rehab, you may want to examine his policies or talk to personnel department (Human Relations) at his job. I wish you all luck.

Babs Q+

Yep, .08 is legal to drive, so .11 is definitely over the legal limit. I would let him experience the consequences of this choice for sure. He's lucky he was stopped and got the DUI rather than killing himself or others on the road. He'll have to go to court and pay a substantial fine (in the thousands of dollars, which in and of itself may curb his drinking as he won't have money to buy alcohol or go to bars anymore). He'll probably have his license suspended for a time (they will usually allow driving to and from work, but nowhere else). His insurance will go through the roof. And finally, he will get to enjoy some community service time picking up trash by the freeway. If that doesn't scare him straight, nothing will.

Good luck. You're a good, caring sister, and I think you're right. Tough love is the way to go. Don't save him from himself or he won't learn.

Most health insurance plans cover at least one stint in drug/alcohol rehab, although what percentage they cover and what their max is varies a great deal. An average (good, but not spa like) treatment center costs about 8 - 12k for 30 days inpatient + x number of months of outpatient care (some include phase 1 & or 2 outpatient as part of their inpatient treatment. For places *like* Betty Ford, you'd be looking at 2-4 times that amount. 25-40k. Average/good insurance a norm is a 10k max at 80%. Phenom insurance (like what Msoft, and many longshore unions), cover 100% at no max or at 100k max.

An average copay usually ends up being about $1500, which is usually due at time of check-in, although some will do a downpayement and bill monthly.

0.11 isn't obscene, but we all handle differently... a rare drinker can be all over the road at .04, and a seasoned alcoholic can get pulled over on something else entirely (no blinker, etc.) and test at 0.22 . A good friend of mine went into the hospital in alcohol poisoning (seizures, etc.) at 1.9. She'd downed 2 fifths and lord only knows how much beer in the course of several hours. For the average drinker/ body type a person jumps apx .5 per drink. So 3 drinks would have that driver at .15 if they shot them and got behind the wheel. What .11 tells me is that your brother had 3-4 drinks over the course of about 2 hours and got in OR that he'd spent a few hours sobering up and got in an hour before he should have.

Wow, your brother is lucky. He was finally caught (most likely this wasn't the first time he drove drunk - it was the first time he got caught). He isn't dead, in the hospital or accused of killing anyone. Don't rescue him, he needs to learn from this. He and those who were near him while he was driving are VERY lucky.