I got an invitation for a bridal shower for my friend along with the list of places where they registered. We are invited to the wedding which we plan to attend too. My question is: do you buy two presents? One for bidal shower and one for the wedding? What is the proper etiquette?
I have always been told that proper etiquette requires a gift for each. I usually go with something smaller (i.e. $30 or less) for the shower, and something larger for the wedding. However, I know people who do the opposite. One way or another, I think it is tacky to show up at either event without a gift.
Yep, two gifts is typically the norm. You can get a bridal gift and give money for the wedding....OR you could give one gift that is considered a larger gift and count it as two. I have done this and I don't see anything wrong with giving one large (monetary speaking) gift. But traditionally, the bridal shower is for the bride and the wedding is for both, in which money would be acceptable.
Yes, If you are attending the shower you give a gift. And yes, if you are attending the Wedding you give a gift to that too.
Sometimes, I have given a set of sheets for the shower and the blanket for the Wedding.. Or I purchased a place setting and given the cup and saucer at the shower and the plates for the Wedding, especially if it was expensive china.
Two events = two gifts
For the shower, you purchase the gift and bring it with you to the party and enjoy some cake and a drink while the happy bride opens a ton of gifts!
For the wedding, most people order the gift ahead and have it sent to the couple's home. Most couples do not want to worry about the gifts making it from the reception to their homes, especially if they are leaving the next day for their honeymoon. Very few people bring wrapped gifts to the wedding itself. If you prefer to give them $$ for the wedding, most couples will have a decorated box for envelops.
Yep. You will have to buy 2 gifts. You can make the bridal shower gift cheaper, though.
In my experience you buy two gifts. The shower gift is a tradition from when the bride was setting up 'her' home and usually is kitchen items, towels, things like that, OR something strictly for the bride- a massage or manicure gift certificate or just some other thoughtful gift.
The wedding gift is usually the more expensive of the two and something more for the couple. However, these rules are not really strict anymore, since women are no longer home in the kitchen, many men love to cook, etc.
Just stay in your budget and try to get your friend something personal for her shower that you know she would like. :)
Yes, you buy a present for both. THAT is why people should keep their shower lists small and only include very close friends and immediate family! You don't have to buy something extravagant for both (or either, depending on your budget). Usually you buy something a little smaller or less expensive for the shower and something bigger/more expensive for the wedding gift -for example -a salad or dinner plate for a shower gift and a place setting or serving piece for a wedding gift.
Yes, 2 invites means 2 presents. If money is tight, you can purchase something less expensive off her registry. Or, if you know a couple other people going to the shower, you can all chip in and get a big gift.
Yes--two presents. Two events.
There was similar question not long ago on this same subject.
Yes... 2 gifts Find something on their gift registry quick. The less expensive ones are always picked over first. Or just skip the shower...
If you are attending the shower, then yes, two gifts. I usually do something small yet feminine for the shower - candles, table centerpiece, bath towels, etc. Then do something for the two of them for the wedding - dishes, sheets, gift card to bed bath beyond.
yes-2 presents. The shower present is more something for the house-like towels or a waffle iron. The wedding is usually cash or a piece of their china or crystal or silver. At least thats how it is done around here.
Yes a gift to both. The shower is for things for the home etc. (example toaster, crockpot etc) or if its a personal shower it is for a personal gift for the bride to be. (lotions, lingerie etc) for the wedding the usual gift is cash. or at least that is the most common one around here. Weird that this year is the first year I have ever heard people ask if a gift is given at each. I am almost 50 and have never heard of attending without giving gifts lol that being said it doesn't mean you ahve to go all out and go broke to do this. smaller items are just as appreciated as big ticket items. I don't think anyone would think anything bad if you really can't afford to buy something.
this was interesting... I didn't expect two gifts - If you came to my shower and gave a gift then, then I didn't expect you to give another one at the wedding. I do the same. Very interesting.
:P
If you are attending both than yes you need to purchase two gifts. If you can not make the shower you are not obligated to give a gift unless you want to. The wedding is a must :)
Well, you know? I have never given a gift for both. If I give a gift at the bridal shower then I consider the gift as given.
Yes. A shower gift for the bride. A wedding gift for the couple. Typically, the bridal shower is where you would give lotions, gift certificates for manicure, pedicure, spa, etc, lingery etc, for the bride. The wedding reception is where you would give "couple gifts" from their registry, money, other household items, gift certificates for dinner, movies, etc.
In my experience, people do tend to give a gift from the registery at the shower as well well especially if the bride has a large registery and a small guest list.
Yes, you need to bring a gift to each. What I usually do is buy a $30 - $50 gift for the shower from their registry (depending on how close I am to the bride/groom) and then give a check in the card for the reception.
Absolutely two gifts. As a previous poster said, the bridal shower is for the bride, and the wedding is for both. I have always given two gifts, and also received two gifts for my shower/wedding.
Do whatever you can afford. It is tradition to give a gift for each event. However, you presence is enough at the wedding. They may notice if you come emptied handed to the shower, but no one will notice if you go the wedding w/o a gift. The wedding is about the joining of two people, not about the amount of gifts they get. This is how I felt about gifts for our shower/wedding. JMO.
Traditionally, a shower was designed to "shower" the bride with things she would need to set up her home for her husband (small or handmade gifts that would help "prepare" her or gifts for her "honeymoon." While wedding gifts were usually gifts that were for the couple and thier home together.
In all honesty, bridal etiquette books and sites would tell you the a gift for the wedding is NOT a requirement, that is one of the reasons it is improper to include registry information in a wedding invitation. "The technically correct word on wedding gifts, according to most etiquette experts, is that no one is required to give one. A wedding invitation is just that, an invitation to relatives and friends to join in the celebration. You won't need to bring a gift as the price of admission. If those who are invited feel moved to show their support and friendship with a gift, then the wedding couple should be grateful." (taken from the TLC weddings website)
However, most people do give two gifts. A few suggestions that I found helpful when trying to buy gifts esp if budget was an issue was 1. to determine the total amount I could afford and then split that between the two occassions. 2. buy a smaller more personal gift for the bride for the shower and a gift from the registry for the wedding. 3. A handmade/handcrafted gift (like a book a family recipes) and then gift from the registry for the wedding.
I think the most important thing is that the gift(s) are from the heart.
