Biting Discipline

Updated on March 30, 2010
B.H. asks from Spartanburg, SC
12 answers

My 2 year old has a biting problem. I've tried everything I know to break him from this and now I'm lost. He bites mostly when he gets upset at daycare, but he occassionally bites his 3 year old brother too. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to break him from this?

If I am not at daycare to discipline him, how do I break him from the biting at daycare? I work a full time job. They do call me when he bites and I talk to him on the phone and tell him that he is being ugly and it does upset him that I tell him that, but it happens again the next time he gets upset that someone has something he wants or does something he doesn't like.

What can I do next?

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answers from Athens on

I have a 4 year old granddaughter who was a biter too, we tried everything, then her mother showed her how it felt to be biten, and she stopped. When I was a small child I also was a biter, until my cousin bite me back and I stopped.

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answers from Augusta on

I know this proberly sounds really bad but we had a little boy that would bit our son and DRAW blood from it... well one day my husband and my son and the little boy went grocery shopping and the liitle boy got mad at my husband b/c he couldnt get down and bite my husbands hand and my husband bit him back just as hard as he bite jon ( my husband). After that day he NEVER bite anyone else...... maybe one day u should try it to see if it works.. that way he can see what it feels like.



answers from Savannah on

Try talking to him on the way to daycare EVERYDAY before dropping him off.

My son used to hit his best friends at school. So every morning on the way to school I would repeat "M we don't hit our we? We are nice to our friends."
"If someone takes a toy from us and we get upset we should tell the teacher. We don't hit our we???"

Then when I picked him up I always asked him "Did we have a great day today?" and praised him when the answer was "yes".

These and close variations eventually stopped the hitting issues and might work for bitting also.

Good luck.



answers from Spartanburg on

I do not agree at all with thumping in the mouth or even biting him back. Although it "works" with some kids, it sends a horrible message that its okay for bigger people to act that way.

You really need to sit down with his daycare teacher and brainstorm. If calling you on the phone is the only thing they are doing, then its a losing battle. If you are not there to immediately remove him from the situation and give him a consequence, there is no way he'll remember the biting situation by the time you guys get home in the evening.

Do they practice Time-Out in his class at daycare?

Honestly, when I've encountered biters in my moms group and in my home, constant supervision is the key. You learn to pick up on your child's precursors to biting so you can prevent it before it happens.

If it does happen, Be concise, consistent, and firm. Remove him from the person he bit, get down on his level and say, "No bite!" or "We do not bite!" or, my daughter's favorite expression is "That is unacceptable!" (its really funny to hear a 2 and 3 year old try to say unacceptable!) Sit him in time-out in a designated spot for 2 minutes. I really like the advice about making him wash the bite of the person he bit.

Good luck! It will pass in time :)



answers from Augusta on

As firm as I am on disipline I agree with Jess about not letting them bite the other back. That just lets him know that if someone ever bit him or hit him..he would be in the right to do so back.Let's say one of your kids hit the other in the head with something...and done it alot out of anger...would u actually let the other child hit him in the head back in retaliation (sp?). I don't feel that it is the right way to go...something I would expect a teenager babysitting ur kids would come up with..Maybe you could put something in his something sour or a dap of hot sauce or maybe even the old soapy mouth...he will eventually get tired of getting that nasty taste in his mouth and will stop.



answers from Macon on

OK the best advice I have is to put him in time out and not say anything to him until he calms down. When he calms down, tell him why he is there and makes sure he will not do it again. If you focus too much on the biting, it will only get worse. You must be consistant with this otherwise it will be a waste of time. My little 3 year old kicks and screams and throws toys. I put him in the same corner everytime he does it and he has calmed down a lot of the last few months.




answers from Charleston on

My son had that problem too and we lightly thumped him in the mouth whenever he tried to bite. After a few times doing that he doesnt bite anymore.



answers from Columbus on

Hey B,

I went through the same thing with my 3 yr old. He was biting his 4 yr old brother. No matter what I did nothing worked. So finally their dad had the oldest bite him back when the youngest would bite again. Sure enough the day came when Jacob*the youngest* bit Noah my oldest, so as hard as it was I had Noah bite him back. Long story short, Jacob doesnt bite anymore. Good Luck with your situation.



answers from Spartanburg on

Hi, I was recently reading that biting is most often a defensive action not offensive. They suggested giving the child an alternative way to protect themselves or deal with another child taking toys away.
Good luck!



answers from Atlanta on

hey B.! my little one was about 1 - 1 1/2 yrs old when he went through this stage.. i worked at the daycare where my kids were enrolled so they would get me out of my class to get onto him... but one day he had bit 3-4 times all within 30 mins .. i was soo frustrated!!!i was hoping that they wouldnt kick him out for all the biting...
but just working in the daycare facility..i've seen that every child goes through the biting stage... (i'm not okaying it by any means) just wanted to let you know ur not alone! just discipline him and be consistent with it...soon he'll be out of that stage and into something else! :)



answers from Columbia on

First, you need to investigate why your child is biting!There are many reasons why Toddlers bite: Teething,Social contact,frustration,territorial,defensiv,stress...
Evaluate the children's environment to make sure there is ample space, equipment, and toys to keep the children occupied.Find out, what goes on at daycare.When children in a large group it may be overstimulating for a child. It's many reason why little ones bite. Here are some tips you may can use: talk to him,looking right into his eyes and explain to him that biting is hurting. Try time-out for about 2 minutes, have him appologize for what he did. Next time he bites have him help wash the bite and take care of it. Give lots of praise when he shows good behavior. He'll grow out of it, positiv encouragement will help.Most important also is for you to stay calm when he bites.
I hope this info is some help. Good luck with everything.

Little about me: mother of two,married for 13 yrs.,childcare provider,G.

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