Bed Time - Omaha,NE

...one word...'relaxation'....each one of my kids and every other kid I babysat in my younger years usually had a "stuffs"....things that relaxed them....my eldest boy liked it when I scratched his head...my next boy like it when I pressed his legs gently...and my youngest loves it when I scratch her arms...close to bed time...I ask if she wants me to scratch her arms...she says "yea"...before I know it she's out...Now..she says she's ready for bed and asks "mum..scratch my arns..peas..." I tell her to get ready then (pJ's, teeth brushing, etc)...find the "stuffs" that mellow their world....and it should help...
-K.

My 3 year old son has given me a ton of problems. I have just recently tried a new blanket. I let him pick put his own throw blanket and, although he still gives me some problems, the time it takes to get him to sleep has been cut in half.

Dear B.,

It has been a while since I have had these problems, since my children are 8 and 12. Not that they don't try to let me let them stay up longer.

Before I had children, I was not a person for routines. My children will adjust to my schedule weather they like it or not. Guess what? I was wrong. I nursed both of my children to sleep until they were 2. I know this may seem like a long time but they medically needed it. Now, when I stopped nursing. I figured I was in for a nightmare. I did start a routine with both children. I usually try to have them avoid any tv for 1 hour before bedtime. This is a great time for baths and bedtime stories. Since the tv stimulates thier brains, if we can slow the brains down for the children, it makes the transition a little easier.

Another treat I started......To avoid having to stay in bed with my children until they fell asleep. I bought a music box. We always started by saying our prayers and what we a re thankful for that day. The last thing we would do is wind up the music box. When the music stopped, it was time for me to leave the bedroom. The nice part of this is you can wind up the music box as much or as little as you want. They are still little enough to not figure out that little trick. At different holidays we would change music boxes and wind up our Christmas santa, or the easter bunny etc.... This just offers a little more variety and something to look forward to in the future. Even a three year old knows who santa is and the Easter bunny. And it offers a special treat that will only happen during certain times of the year.

Be careful about starting our own bad habits to make the process a little easier for mom and dad.

1. Do not let your child fall asleep with the television on. Your child may watch tv till 2 in the morning or need it on all night for the noise aspect... Increase in electric bill.

2. Do not stay in bed with your child until the child falls asleep. Usually Moms and Dads are so tired, we fall asleep before the children. This also makes it impossible for them to learn to fall asleep on thier own.

3. If you have been sleeping with your child..Or more likely your child is in your bed.... no not that!(only kidding)I had very strong beliefs about not co sleeping with my first child, but my views changed extremely, with the additional sleep needed, when the second child was born. If this is the time you would like your bed back.
I let my child sleep by my bed in a sleeping bag. Each night the child was allowed to pick how far she would move the bag away from my bed, toward his/her bedroom. It didn't have to be alot but it had to moved each night. Soon she was sleeping in the hall and by one week she was sleeping in her own bed. It was more comfortable than the floor. It was her dicision. So she felt very much in control. Remember it takes about 14 days of repetition before we actually change a habit. So if on day 10, your child gets sick and you let them back to the old routine, then you have to start again from the beginning. Once she was in her own bed for 14 DAYS IN A ROW, we marked each morning on the calender. If we slept together for what ever reason.... then we had to start counting the 14 days over again. At the end of a completed 14 days in a row, then she would earn a treat. The prize was discussed before we marked the calendar. It could be go out for icecream, a trip to the library, a picnic. Pick things the family would enjoy together and would not be expensive. This way the family can be involved in supporting our childrens choices. Well our choices! but if we can get them to believe it is thier choice the challenge is alot easier. And it puts them in control.

Last but not least....everybody in our house sleeps with a fan on. It produces what is called white noise. It basically blocks out the noise of traffic, noisy neighbors, barking dogs ect. The only time we have a problem sleeping now is if the power goes out. The house is too quiet. We even bring a fan on vacation because we just find it hard to tune out any noise while we sleep. Hope this helps! Hope it wasn't too long. I've never been told that I don't give out enough info, usually too much. Just remember you are the parent and you know what will work and what will not work in your family. Happily listen to everybodies advice, especially when we ask for it. But realize what works for one house or child will not always work for another.

Good luck, God Bless! Hopefully soon bedtime will become a treat vs a chore!

H. B.

We announce that it's time to set the timer (we use the microwave), my son likes to press the buttons. We set it for 5 minutes. "It's 5 minutes to bed time". When the timer goes off he knows that it's not "Mom" saying it's bed time, it's the timer saying so! The timer has acted like a middle man.
I also put on a story CD (we like Veggie Tales and Nursury rhymes) that he listens to until he falls asleep.

Good luck : )

We always stick with the same routine every night 8-8:30 bath. Then I let him pick out his fav. pj's and pick out 2 books.We read and reread until 9pm and then it's lights out no matter what! Sometimes I will sit with him for about 5 min after light are out or lay in the bed with him for no more that 10 min. and he will usually fall asleep.I was letting him watch his fav. movie but found that only kept him awake. My husband and I trade off every other night It's great quality time with him and I keep reminding myself when I don't want to do it that these are memories that will last forever as they do not stay little for long!! hope this helps
L.

Hi B.,

I had the same trouble with my daughter at that age...actually until she started school. After a few weeks of struggling with this, I decided to get her up earlier in the mornings, took away nap time, and eliminated all sugar after 5pm. As you can imagine, this was pretty rough the first week or so just trying to make the adjustments. But, eventually, it worked great! My daughter was more tired by 8pm (her bed time) and was more willing to listen to a quick story and have lights out. Also, for about the last hour before bedtime each night, I turned off the tv and eliminated distractions. We spent that time talking, playing little games or singing songs. It was a 'wind down' time for each of us. You'd be surprised what this will do for you, too!

Good Luck, B.

B.,

My son is almost 3 and we've just starting having trouble at bedtime. He's not too bad yet but he tries to stall. I'm hungry, I'm thirst, I have to go potty (we are trying to potty train but this is the only time of day he says he needs to go and then he doesn't go!!! LOL)

I've been dealing with it by giving him a snack before bed so I know he's not hungry and I've been taking a sippy cup of water into his bedroom so I can give him a drink without letting him get up. The potty thing, I will let him get up but just to sit on the potty for a minute and then straight back to bed. After that, I start the "no" routine and just keep telling him to lay down, hold still, go to sleep. I'm hoping that being firm and being consistent will pay off at some point. Good luck to you!

I am not sure if it will work for you, but it did for me...I would lie with my son until he fell asleep, but I would tell him every night that as soon as his 4th birthday came and he was a going to be a big boy he had to go to bed on his own that I was not going to lie with him anymore. It was about a 3-4 month lead up but when his birthday came and went he knew that this was it. I have not had to lie with him any more since then. Bed time is tough, he still has his lights on until he falls asleep and he is now 7 yrs old.

hi I was and I just gave in and let her back into my bed and i move her when she is asleep -- we read books she picks out and get ready and have a sip of water then lay down after we say our prayers --I made it a mommie and her speacil time -I dont answer teh phone or do anything but make it our time --sometimes she is a little (or a lot) harder to settle but it has now been about 4 months and every now and then we get off schedule -but we are trying and it seems to be working

B.:

I have gone through and still go through this with my 3 year old daughter sometimes. So, I will give some first hand advice. First of all, you need to have a conversation with your child about bedtime when it isn't bedtime. Find out what their needs are-listen to what they say. This age is very common for them to be afraid of the dark, is their something in his room that might make him scared? Don't mention being scared or whatever, let them tell you. Their perceptions are much different than ours. Give them some cool bedtime tools like a flashlight, glow sticks, a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, even a t-shirt of yours/dads (to feel secure) soft music etc. If they want to sleep in your room, have a snack or watch a movie or whatever they are doing to delay bedtime, have definite routines and solutions. Sometimes you do need to spend time in their room for a bit so they feel secure. I recommend giving choices, but also setting expectations. For example: "Joey, when you finish your drink and snack, you are going to have a bath. After that, we will have quiet time in your room and read a story. Mommy can stay by your bed for a few minutes and turn on music on or rub your back. Maybe Teddy wants to sleep with you tonight. You can decide." Follow this exactly as you have verbally presented it. What you will want to do is give boundary lines for getting out of bed once they are in it. Let them know what a big boy they are, you are not far away, but you do expect them to stay in bed. I've heard stories of parents creating a pass for their child for drinks hugs/kisses etc. to use and then they have to back to their room after using it. Bedtime needs to be talked about positively and no punishment should occur near or in their bed. Whatever you decide to do, be persistent and consistent and your child should start conforming again. Also, it is good for both parents to be on the same page with bedtime matters. This has been a difficult thing with my daughter as well. She is still going through this stage, but it is getting better. Please feel free to email me at my personal account and let me know if any of these suggestions helped: ____@____.com

All The Best,
K.

Do they have a set bedtime routine? I know that my kids respond to bedtime so much better when we brush teeth, read stories, sing songs, etc... You need to come up with a routine for bedtime and stick to it. You can also do some kind of reward system for going to bed, picking up room, brushing teeth, etc...

Hi B.!
When my kids were that age, I would give them three keys. That would mean they could get up three times and when the keys were gone, they were not allowed to get up again. I would put them to bed at 7 pm that way after the 3 get ups they were still geting enough rest.
Alot of this is having fun with it and not getting upset when they get up. I would smile and say, "what's up? or What do you need?" in a friendly kind of way. It would be a drink of water or bathroom or ???. Did not really matter. Sometimes it was a hug or kiss or to say, I love you. I expected them to use up their keys so neither of us were stressed. We also have a a sticker chart for special rewards for staying in bed. After 5 or 10 (depending on the child) they would get to play a game with me or help me pull weeds in the garden or other exciting things that they did not get to do otherwise. If they filled their chart, they would get something big, like a trip to Kids club or a bike ride or swimming at the YMCA.
See if any of this works for you. I had to try many things before it was successful, every kid is different and you have to find what they want and love the most. It takes the stess out of bedtime and makes it kinda fun. Another suggestion would be to make sure you have a bedtime routine. I mean like reading a book and cuddling and telling each other how much you love them. Some families wrap up in a blanket and the adult will just tell stories. In our family, we have a prayer time and sometimes will get back rubs or hugs. I usually lowered the lights, maybe lit some candels and put on soft music. Kids need a wind down time to start thinking about relaxing and calming down.
Happy Parenting!

D. J.

routine routine routine routine. That is our saving grace. We have the same routine every night, without fail. We eat dinner, play for a little while, take a bath, get lotioned/powdered up, get pjs on, she picks the books she wants to read that night, gives her kisses to everyone and then we go to bed. We read her books and then she goes to sleep. We rarely get any resistence. The only times I've found resistence at bedtime is when she truly isn't tired. She gave up naps at 2 all together, so I know at bedtime she is tired... Is he still napping?

I have two children, a 2yr old boy and a 6mo old girl, and routine is not as easy as it sounds. Even if you can't get him to go to the bed at the same time every night, try for a consistent time space. We try for anywhere between 830 and 10. Big gap I know, but sometimes life doesn't permit. And we do the same things, not necessarily in the same order, and not at the same time like I said. We do an array of lots of different kisses, some bedtime reading (mainly looking at the pictures)and a little play with and/or without the lights on. We let him get into the space and get comfortable,letting him know that he's not being punished, and that bedtime can still be fun. It all takes time and getting to know what fits your child.

Ah, yes. Unfortunately, if you don't have a set schedule, this can last into the older years as well. Believe me! Anyway, does he take a nap during the day? If he does, it may be time to shorten it, make it earlier in the day, or cut it out entirely. What time does he go to bed (or, what time is he supposed to go to bed?)? Keeping a consistent schedule is key. Same wake-up time, same meal times, same nap time (if he must have one), same bedtime. If you are staying up after he goes to bed, maybe try turning all the lights off and tell him you are going to bed, too. Go into your room and see what happens. Keep the lights off for awhile and maybe he will fall asleep. Some kids don't want to miss anything and want to spend time with you, so they feel it is unfair to make them go to bed. Also, nap times can seriously injure the bedtime. Try naps at 11:00 am for no longer than an hour. If he is still sleepy, wake him up. Try waking him up earlier in the morning, too. Make sure he gets plenty of time to play in the afternoon so that he will be tired. These are all things that I have dealt with for all four of my children and each one is different. You just need to find the trick that works for you. :) Good luck!

Oh B.! You've got to get the supernanny book! SuperNanny Rules! My two children had NEVER slept in their own beds..well, they are getting bigger now so I thought this summer would be a good time to try it. I got the book, I followed it line by line, and the first night they slept in their rooms-upstairs! Sure a little crying and some door banging...less the second night...none the third night! Please check it out!
Good luck-H.

I have two boys ages 6yrs and 3yrs. They both responded to the routines described below. My oldest gave in easier where my youngest is very resistant even with routine. I use the reward system and the "goodnight fairy". In addition to a star on the chart, if he sleeps in his bed the entire night without much of a struggle the "goodnight fairy" leaves a little prize under his pillow. Works like a charm!! Whether it be a sticker, quarter or something from the dollar store it's all very rewarding to your child. After a week or two of this the goodnight fairy's work is done and we continue with routine and the star chart. On really resistant nights I use the comfort take away system. Everytime he acts up I take away his favorite toy,blanket,water bottle etc one at a time. He earns them back by staying in bed quietly. I typically count to ten after he has quieted down and then return one item at a time. If he wasn't entirely tired before, he is now and has forgotten why he was upset in the first place. I always leave a night light on as well. Neither will sleep without it. Also, they both like some type of background noise whether it be a CD of lulluby's,the nosie from a fan or nature sounds. Good Luck!

I have been going through the same thing. Really the only thing that works for us is just time and patience. I have noticed that if she sleeps with me for a nap or bedtime it only makes matters worse.

My son is three also. I have notice that when i put him to sleep if i have a routine it works alot better. We start with bath time. Then we get lotioned get dressed and ready for bed. Then we have a certain chair we sit in and read. Then i will rub his back and that relaxes him. Also it gives them mommy time which gives them security. Then we go in and give Hugs and Loves. Once they realize what is happening it just falls into place. It may take a couple of days or a week but soon they know they are just going to have to do it. Also don't give in and let them get up. Then they know all they have to do is throw a fit and they get there way. Be strong.

I feel very lucky and don't know what the next two will do. Our daughter has always gone to bed when we say it is time. We take her up and make her laugh. Give her kisses and tuck her in with her fav blanket. She has a little music thing that was on her crib that we moved to her big girl bed that she can push. Sometimes we will hear it playing for about an hour but she never makes a fuss. It is her quite time I think. I feel blessed that this works for us - but we stick to it every night same process every night. Weekends we are a little laxed. I don't know if anything I do can help you but maybe. Good luck
A.