Bad Behavior - Hutchinson,KS

It's obvious that her child has thrown tantrums and gotten what she wants before. If the behavior works, they try it until it works again.
I'd let the princess scream and yell, but I'd not give her what she wants. I'd ignore the tantrum and walk out of the room.
Consistency is the key. If you don't want her to have something, give her one warning not to touch and if she does, take it away and put her in a time out. She's a bit young for time out, but there isn't any reason not to start now. Make her sit for a minute.
YMMV
LBC

Sounds totally normal to me! I have a 16 mo old (my third) and he crys and gets so sad when I tell him no or take him away from things. It is developmental. You have to stick with it, not only to make the fits not as bad, but for safety, but you don't have to be mean about it. Redirection works much better for this age than flat nos. Time outs don't work (not just at this age, ever, read...), but sticking to your nos and using redirection and love and comfort (if you say no you can hold your child and comfort them without giving in) will see them through. It seemed that all three of my kids had this period around this time (but my third is worse, maybe because he is not nearly as verbal and much more into things, so he gets a lot of nos), but we never had much trouble by about 2 with fits or anything. Give them love and they give it back, just keep development in mind!

K.

its possbile its terrible twos and such but my daughter is getting better about the tantrums and such because she gets put in time out if she thows one and she knows it and she also knows when i say no i mean no and i take it off her

Tell her to try to find ways she can say yes instead of no - whether it be reframing the way she says things or changing the environment. It's also helpful to read up on child development because that is totally age-appropriate behavior. She can do some reflective listening as well - "I know you really want to play with that sharp knife. It's sharp and it could hurt someone! Here's a wooden spoon you can bang on a pot instead."

The key is to NOT GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS.
When she acts like this giving her what she wants will only make her do it more. and will turn her into a brat.
Your friend is experiencing the terrible 2's
She must be consistent or the child will continue to act this way.

Sixteen months can feel like a pretty powerless age. I wouldn't assume that things would get worse before they get better. Some things come with the ability to express oneselves and with emotional maturity. I think it is always good to figure out the trigger points. Some kids react worse if they are hungry or tired. For some kids it can be transitions. Some children are just strong-willed. This is their personality. This can be a difficult trait when they are toddlers but can be directed in a positive way as an adult. Others like to explore everything. They are natural learners and get frustrated when they can't. I have learned to pick my battles. I like to use parent guided age appropriate choices and logical consequences even at a young age. If it is something that the child has that the parent is afraid she will break than perhaps the parent can sit down with her and teach her the appropriate way to look at things. If it is something that is dangerous to her that is a different story. I would than have to think is this something that is a real immediate danger or something that could be a teachable moment. If there was something that really was off limits to my kids I would put it out of arm's reach. My son is a strong-willed child I used a lot of parent guided choices with him. There are lots of books on parenting strong willed children and on logical consequences. Dr. Harvey Karp's book "Happiest Toddler on the block." has some good tips in it as well.

Ladybug C is right! The only differing opinion I have is that she's a little young for time out at this age in the traditional sense (isolation for a period of time). Having said that, if mom says "no" or takes an item away and baby still does it, she should be removed from the stimulus immediately with a firm (not yelling) "no touch" and put somewhere else to play.

Babies cry when they are unhappy b/c they don't have the words yet to say how they are feeling. Would she feel as badly when her baby is 8 and talking back? Nope- same thing.

The baby is doing this b/c she has learned that there is a really good chance that mom will cave if she screams long enough- which probably does happen a good portion of the time.

Parenting is a wonderful experience, but honestly I think all of us would agree that there are some days when it isn't "fun" and you feel like all you have done is "correct behavior", but in reality that's how children learn what the boundaries of acceptable behavior are- from "bumping into them".

Encourage her to be consistent and calm. Don't give-in b/c the baby is tantruming. If the baby is in a safe location (pack-and-play, crib, swing etc) it's OK to walk away into the next room and pull it together until the baby calms down.

I do not understand the confusion over this. Why is she throwing tantrums? Because that is what kids do if they are allowed to and don't get disciplined for it!! She does realize that all kids try this, right?

Instead of "feeling sad when her daughter flips out" and worrying about the future where she sees her daughter getting worse and worse (which definitely will happen if she keeps scratching her head and feeling sad), she should discipline the behavior, so it doesn't get worse.

I have 3 kids who all tried these things and were not allowed to do them. Fast forward to the future, they are all happy well behaved kids I can take anywhere. Some needed more diligent discipline than others. But all are bright and caught on. They each tried to throw themselves on the floor and scream if I took something away or said, no. TRIED it. ONCE. Maybe a few times for my third ex hellion. But none of them kept it up when they saw they were only hurting their own butts after a calm clear warning by making that choice.

My third, who is now 19 months, tried blood curdling tantrums starting around age one. Now she has better self control than her two sibs who were never as difficult. She may point an angry finger at me, stomp her foot and hold her raging head high while tears fall (super cute) if I've (gasp) said "no" to her or something, but she does not drop, scream and spider kick anymore. It's all about discipline.

Her daughter is the perfect age to prevent these habits from cementing themselves. Firm consequence for tantrums. Every time. Clear rewards in the form of hugs and praise when she decides against the tantrums at a warning. Every time. She'll get it.

Simply not giving her what she wants will take WAY longer to sink in, because she is still being permitted to have the tantrum, which is what she really wants. And I have tons of friends who took the "ignore it" approach, and their kids are still tantrumming at age 5 and 6.

Pass her this site:

www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com