Our five month old simply hates the car unless we're on the freeway for long stretches of time, but in street traffic, she screams at the top of her lungs and goes on and on and on. We've tried everything from sitting in the back, letting her hold her own bottle, a book, a toy, a mirror, her favorite songs on CD, singing, talking and the list goes on, but nothing seems to work. We even switched up car seats and it didn't change a thing. The minute she's out of the car seat she's totally fine, smiling and laughing. We think maybe she doesn't like being strapped in because she's not a huge fan of the stroller, but she's warmed up to that and is now fine.
It's becoming a point of real anxiety for me because she's started daycare, so every morning when I drive her, she screams for 20 minutes and it's really painful for me - I feel terrible and it brings up all sorts of things (I'm a bad mom that we have to put her in daycare or why can't we figure out how to make it better). Does anyone have any unique suggestions? Is this normal? What can we do? Thank you in advance!
Thanks everyone! I should clarify - the crying doesn't really bother us - it is loud, but we're used to it. I agree she really just has to get used to being in the car seat so at this point, I bring one book or toy in the car and if it works, yay!!!, but if not, she just cries. We actually have a CD with a song that says her name, so we'll try it - I hadn't thought of that!
Both of my kids did that as babies, most babies do.
What I did was, I got a helium balloon. They last a long time.
I then tied it in the car so as not to block my view but where my kids could see it and not get tangled in it. So this, really helped.
They loved to look at it, it distracted them. I only kept it IN the car.
This phase, will go away.
It is temporary.
good luck,
Susan
My daughter got motion sick and that started very young and stopped once she went forward facing. My daughter and son BOTH have ALWAYS had sensitive eyes and cried when the sun was in their eyes so I got them sunglasses at like 5 months old and they both left them on and actually looked for them when they needed them by age 2. Just food for thought.
My 1st born did the very same thing. Sadly he would do it even if we were going to the store, church anywhere. Maybe as sad as this sounds, place her in the carseat at the house, during times you don't have to go anywhere. Get her used to the fact that she will be ok in the carseat.
Time and age is the only real thing that helped us. Blessings to you and your little one.
My 4 mo old does the exact same thing - literally the second he is out of the seat he is smiling. The first time he did it my poor husband pulled over multiple times and called me at home panicking. I calmly told him to put the baby back in the car, turn the music up so it drowns the baby out, and come home! It is very stressful, I know, but also very normal. I agree with Dawn, that baby just has to get used to it. It helps if our baby's siblings talk to him, so not sure if that is an option for you. I wish I had better advice! It will stop eventually!
Just about every baby at the daycare when DD was there went through this sort of phase. My own kid would cry so much that at first people thought she was hurt and then realize no, she was just in the carrier.
Make sure nothing is pinching or poking or too tight (but not too loose, either). I made sure that DD had a clean diaper and full belly and a toy and then we just went. There's only so much you can do. I remember those commutes where the radio was on and I was trying to talk to her...sometimes it was actually worse to speak because it set her off. She did get over it, but to this day she often has a safe snack and a sippy cup in the car.
You are NOT a bad mom. You are just trying to do your best. Hugs and hang in there.
Just want to caution you about having loose objects in the car. In a crash, a cell phone can fly through the air with enough force to crack a skull. Just please be careful what you have for her to play with in the car.
Hopefully this is just a phase...if she's rear facing, what about a mirror? What if YOU just talk and talk and talk? Babble on about your day, her day, etc as a distraction thing?
My son used to SCREAM through any/all tunnels and itwas a phas that passed. Hopefully this will too.
Terribly stressful, and an unfortunately common phase. My grandson did this for a couple of months, around that age, as I recall. We tried everything, too – looking for pinched or chafing areas, sitting with him, singing like crazy, etc. Eventually the singing worked, as long as we did not pause. We had a song with his name in it on every verse. And then he finally got over it, though it was quite awhile before we could say he liked car rides.
I'd suggest those little foam ear plugs if the crying is making your driving less safe. There's probably not much you can do except show as little stress as possible. A frantic mommy has a much harder time calming a child.
Have you tried getting a backseat mirror? Then she can see you and herself. They have some nice ones that play music and have toys attached to them. I velcro toys to the seat and colorful things so he has things to look at and keep him happy.
She might just be bored back there.
I ditto the thoughts others had on her being car sick. I've had a few of those! You might look into those bracelets pregnant women use for morning sickness - they work by putting pressure on a certain point known to reduce nausea. (acupressure) You might find a baby sized one through some whole foods type places. if not, make your own using pony tail holders or elastic.
You also might try teaching her that crying won't get her out. Once you get to your destination, talk and touch and let her know that when she is quiet she gets out. As soon as there is a pause in her crying start to get her out. If you whisper she will quiet down a bit to hear you. Be calm and soft and patient. Once she pauses and you start to unbuckle her, turn on the praise! Cheer, praise, do a happy dance! This will help you with the stroller and crib too.
Playing her music might help too - and try playing it softer so she has to be quiet to hear it... and be sure to sing along, nothing sweeter to a babies ears than mom singing silly songs!!
Hang in there! A few of mine were like this too! It does stop. eventually. :)
If she's fine on long trips, it could be that she just doesn't like sitting still.
Do you have a mirror in the car? One that she can see herself and you driving? Or an activity pad that she can stare at?
M.
My four month old is the same way. She screams hysterically in the car unless she is super, super tired and can fall asleep. Every time we stop at a red light, the screaming gets worse. It's so stressful for me and I hate hearing it.
DON'T feel like a bad mom for putting her in daycare!! It has absolutely nothing to do with the screaming. I don't work and my baby still screams. Staying home 100% of the time is, of course, not an option, so it's just something she'll have to learn to deal with.
I have heard from many moms that a lot of babies do better once they are old enough and big enough to face forward. Guess we've got at least 7-8 more months before we can do that!
Good luck!
K.
p.s. I sell Discovery Toys and do have a few that make really good car toys if you're interested in trying something. Send me a private message if you want recommendations!
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao
My second child was the same way right from the beginning to about 18 months old. She would scream till she was gagging, and it would take over an hour of screaming until she wore herself out to sleep - we avoided going anywhere that was more than 15 minutes from home for a LONG time. Once she was about 18 months she would watch an Elmo video on a portable DVD player, but that would only keep her happy for about 20 minutes, then it was on to the screaming again. We never could make her comfortable or happy enough either, and we tried EVERYTHING, just like you have. It just came down to having to wait till she was old enough to keep her busy with talking and singing and listening to stories from her brother, I guess some babies just REALLY don't like the car!
.
We had the same issue with our son and it was a nightmare. So, I can completely understand. We did absolutely everything that you did as well, to no avail. The ONLY thing that worked for him was a DVD player with his favorite movies. We only play educational shows such as: Baby Signing Time or Your Baby Can Read, but he really seems to enjoy it. It really saved the day on our two trips over Christmas vacation that were more than 6 hour drives both ways.
Also, once they are facing forward they seem to get less fussy. However, that will be a ways off for you if your LO is only 5 months old.
Both of our daughters were car screamers until we switched from the carrier to the convertible car seat. If your daughter can sit reasonably well with support and hold her head up, I'd make the switch.
My daughter was the same way. Come to find out she was carsick. Like the other poster mentioned turning the carseat wasnt helpful either so I probably wouldnt risk it.
She is grown and still cant take too much short distance traveling. Im sorry for not having any suggestions on how to help but sometimes knowing the reason makes it easier to take.
My 4 year old was like that when he was born. I thought all babies loved the car. Mine cried all the time, long distance too... It was so horrible, I hated taking him any where. If I was the passenger I would take him out and hold him, which when I was with my sister or mother they would pull the car over until I put him back in his seat. One thing I did that could help a little, as I drove, if I put my right hand back so he could hold it, he would stop crying. My other kids would try to help me out and put their hand as if it was mine, if he was really tired from crying we could possibly get away with it. At the time I lived 5.5 hrs from my parents so long road trip were horrible with him, which usually took at least 7 hours if not longer. And yes, my arm usually fell asleep as I was driving, I could only do it for 15-20 minutes at one time, which isn't always the safest thing to drive like that.
He finally out grew the crying when he was about year and half. Loves the car rides now, he's 4. Not sure why he didn't like the car rides, switched seats everything, still nothing. My older two kids, love the car from day one. I used to drive around when my daughter wouldn't fall asleep to get her to go...
I know you pain and frustration, time is really the key or was for me. Never figured out what exactly the problem was, but he didn't like car rides. You would have thought someone was hurting him...
Hang in there!
My oldest daughter was not a fan of car rides either. It wasn't until my mom got a CD from the mall that was personalized to her name and sung by the veggie tales. Only this CD worked. It was so funny we used to turn it off and on to here the crying, then stop, then crying. It was like clock work. She is now 5 and has been fine for a long time, but I still have that whole cd memorized. (My mom even had a copy for her car, because she drove her places a lot) I was just thinking the other day, I wonder what happened to that. Anyway, you might want to try another cd, this cd was very fun and loud. Or maybe you can try a dvd player with cartoons.
Good luck!
I am not by any means condoning this but the only thing that stopped ours was turning her around. Come to find out she gets carsick. Even at 15, she still gets sick.
I know you said you switched car seats, but did you get something high enough (like a Britax) that is still rear facing, but that she can see out of the windows? I didn't have this problem, but when we switched my son to a rear facing Britax Marathon, he loved being able to see out the side windows (he was sitting in the middle of our car). Also, do you have a little mirror so you can see her. My son and I used to look at each other in our mirrors (both looking back), and smile at each other. I would hide and pop out, and he loved it, and this was all using the mirrors only. Not saying these will solve anything, but they may make it easier for her to used to it faster.
One other thing, make sure her clothing doesn't have buttons or snaps on the back. Those things can hurt when you lie down on them.
Definitely try music with her. My son actually liked listening to the Beatles. Your daughter also may be getting car sick or maybe she has the sun in her eyes. She may be get better when you can turn her around to face forward.
Good luck.
