We just found out we are expecting baby #2 sometime in october...yayyy right? Wrong, I'm freaked out now. I mean, yes, we want it or else we wouldn't have been trying. But now I'm wondering if we are doing the right thing.
My husband's parents are thrilled to become grandparents again, my dad..not so much. His exact words to me were that I was dumber than a box of rocks for wanting 2 kids. Mind you, I am married, my husband and I both work full time, own our own home, are settled enough to support another child..all the things my parents instilled in me as i was growing up.
I should also add that my brother and his girlfriend just had their first baby last week. Neither of them work, she lives with her mom, and my brother lives with my dad..and my brother is 30 years old! My dad wasn't thrilled with him either, but I can more understand why with that situation. I am just so hurt by my dad's words and am at a loss. I don't even want to talk to him about this new baby coming because he has made me feel ashamed, like I am doing wrong. My mom passed away 6 years ago and he has never recovered from that, sometimes I wonder if he is feeling guilty for spending time with his grandkids because my mom isn't here and that was the one thing she was so looking forward to before she passed away. I don't have a question, as I know what I need to do and that is go and try to have a heart to heart with my dad and try to pick his brain a little. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks mommas!
The question of whether or not you are doing the right thing is moot now. Time to find joy in your new adventure! I know how you feel. I had a 3rd when I knew that there were family members and friends who would say, "what was she thinking?!" I didn't tell my mom I was pregnant right away because I didn't want her to rain on my parade. In the end, whether or not your dad is happy with this situation is up to him to work out.
Congrats on the baby:) I'm having my second next week! My mom was the same way as your dad! Mostly because my son was diagnosed last year with early onset bipolar, and she said it wasn't fair to him. But now she couldn't be more excited! And my son is already over the moon for his baby sister:) your dad will come around. Congrats again
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Having 2 kids is great!
My kids adore each other.
You know there is something deeper going on there.
Don't let your dad's unkind words get to you.
HUGS! And congrats!!!
Learn now that you and your husband are a team, parents are to be loved and respected but it's not their business how many children you have or when. You need to be happy and just go on with life. If your dad wants to be part of the childrens' lives that is great, if not it's his choice. You can't let someone influence you or it can upset your relationship with your husband and make you unhappy too. Hope you and your husband can be happy together.
Congratulations! Im excited for you!! Maybe your dad is discusted with your brother and tired of paying bills for him, and cleaning up after him, and hates how irresponsible his son has been, and its hard to switch gears for you and be happy about your new baby. Maybe he sees how hard life is and the world is tough and mean and the economy is so bad, he has fears about you being able to support another child in the future. Maybe you could go sit with him and tell him all the good things about it, all the positive sides, and how you are adult enough to raise this new baby on your own incomes and aliviate his fears and worries. maybe then he will be happy that his little girl is doing so well and so happy with a wonderful husband and he will feel better.
Hi my name is A.. I was reading you message and I no how u feeling. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and we just found out we are having another baby. The only difference is my.husband works and I stay at home mom. Im freeking out because Im scaird things will be tight. I told my mom today and she got upset and told me am I know what Im doing. I dont no how to feel about it. Im sorry. I think I also needed to vent.
Thank you
You need to take him to lunch and explain to him that you understand he is hurting but he is missing out on his life, he needs to start living!
I can totally relate. My mom passed away 5 years before I had my first baby. In my case, my dad remarried and that complicated matters further. Without going into my whole life story, I will just pass on some thoughts based on what I've learned. My oldest child is now 7, and my baby is a year old.
It is a GREAT idea to talk with your dad. It may give you both some comfort and help open communication which will strengthen your relationship. It is also important to know that you CANNOT CHANGE others. It hurts when it seems that loved ones cannot share in your joy. The truth is, it is their issue and they have to deal with it. In the meantime, if you have supportive and loving in-laws you should focus on that!! Feed on the positive energy and those that are thrilled that this baby is coming. I don't even know you and I am so happy for you. It is hard when our "family of origin" lets us down so to speak, but the good news is :You are building your own family. It is more important that you, your husband, and first child rejoice and celebrate this new blessing. This baby is a gift. Don't let ANYONE steal your joy- even if it is your dad.
I still struggle. I still miss my mom. I still get disappointed when grandparents do not seem as interested as I feel they should be. But, at the end of the day, I thank my lucky stars for my 2 beautiful children and my husband. We have a great family and that is all that counts. When my dad does come through, it is thrilling, because I'm not expecting it anymore.
Have a great pregnancy!
congrats!!!we are due with our 4 th is september:)(Lord willing) Sorry about your dad, he will change his mind when he holds that baby.
