Another Baby - Tucson,AZ

Your feelings are completely normal and common especially when you have children who are beyond the baby stage. I think if we were honest with ourselves, most of us would admit that there's a bit of grieving that goes on whenever we pass out of this stage and into the next no matter how many children we have. My Mom had 7 children, but even at age 50 (I was in Jr High then) I remember hearing her say she longed for another baby. Childbearing is associated with youth and often women feel like they are suddenly "old" when those days are behind them.
Before I signed my husband up for surgery, I encourage you to really think about the practical aspect of having another child. You mentioned difficult pregnancies and preterm labor. Unfortunately, research shows that that would likely occur again and with even more challenges due to you being 3 or 4 yrs older than when you had your last child. Consider the financial challenges of having another child. Would you need a bigger house, car, or would it require you or your husband to have to work more to pay for expenses related to expanding your family? Does your husband desire more children? You want him to be 100% on board if you pursue this venture. Is it that you want to raise a child to adulthood or is it because you miss the joy of holding and caring for a baby? These are hard questions that I have had to ask myself as my husband and I have agreed that it is no longer prudent for us to expand our family. This is a decision to be made with so much more than emotion.
About 70% of vasectomy reversals result in a pregnancy within the first year after having it done. Not all of those pregnancies result in live-birth as miscarriage and fetal abnormality must be a consideration. I have a friend whose husband had a reversal and they expanded their family by 2 more children before having another vasectomy. It took more than a year to conceive after the surgery, but less than 2 yrs. Although she's happy with their decision, she admits it is a huge challenge having a 4th grader and 6th grader while caring for a 3 1/2 yr old and an 18 month old. She says she dislikes the fact that she must drag the "little kids" to sports practice and extracurricular activities of the older 2. Napping schedules are often disrupted resulting in cranky toddlers. She says it's like having 2 families and it is very exhausting and frustrating at times.
Best wishes in making this important decision. Hope this is helpful information. Nurse Midwife Mom

Every pregnancy is different. My first was a breeze, the second awful and the third was fine. If he is all for it go for it!!!!

I am not having any more children because of pregnancy related health issues (for both the baby and the mother). In my opinion, it is irresponsible to have more children when my life is at risk and/or the baby's life is at risk. I'd rather stick around for the children I have than chance it trying to have another. We are open to the idea of adoption and foster care.

It is a completely normal biological function to desire more children but we also have a brain to analyze our situations and overcome that urge if it is the right thing to do for us.

Make sure your husband really wants a third child. Make sure you do. Take your time. Good luck.

Just a thought - but can you get your baby fix elsewhere? Maybe - if you have time - you can volunteer at the hospital - I've heard they need people to help rock preemie babies. I don't know - having a third child - and having a vasectomy reversal to get there - seems a little extreme. At one point you were obviously done having kiddos if you got the vasectomy to begin with - what has changed? Think about what you REALLY want before making a decision like this...good luck.

Yes, a former coworker's husband had a reversal; she now has an almost 2-y/o; and this was with a reversal that happened probably a decade or more after the original vasectomy.

While you're looking into this, look to your own health, as well. A friend of mine has HG (really bad nausea and vomiting in pregnancy), and she has found that it was a lot less this last time when she ate a very-low-carb diet (basically, meat, dairy, nuts, and vegetables), and that others of her "HG sisters" have reported the same thing. Being in the best possible health will be one way you can likely not get as sick, and not have (threatened) preterm labor.

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Yes, My good friend and her husband had a reversal, 14 years AFTER the vasectomy. And she was in her late 40s before they had success. They've had 3 more kids since then! Best Wishes! Kids are such a blessing and so worth the effort!