Advice for a Picky Eater

I have a picky eater who is almost 3, and I have found that she is more likely to eat new foods if she has helped to prepare them. Kids this age are great at helping with easy to prepare meals, you just have to be prepared for a bit more clean-up. I feel like it's worth it though just to have my daughter finally eating well again.
There are quite a few "preschool child friendly" cookbooks with illustrated instructions that are full of healthy, easy to prepare snacks and meals. We have the books "Pretend Soup" and "Salad People" and love them!

I suggest you put 3 things on her plate. Two that she is familiar with and 1 that she hasn't tried. Since she is 3 years old I would tell her that she gets 3 bites of all the different foods. (If you feel really guilty about this you can try starting with 1 bite of the new food). She has to eat her 3 bites before she gets more of the foods that she likes. This way you know she is at least getting a little food so she isn't starving until the next day, but you're encouraging her to try new things. Ideally, she can not get up from the table until she has tried the new food. Here is a warning, though, if she is very stubborn and you are going to feel guilty, I wouldn't try this, because if you tell her that she has to stay at the table until she tries it and then you give in when she cries, or stays at the table for a long time, then you will only be reinforcing the negative behavior.

If you prefer positive reinforcement you can try something like a sticker chart... She gets a sticker every time she tries a new food. After she gets 5 stickers she gets a small treat... This can be something small like a McDonald's toy, or it can be a special treat like going to the park with Daddy, special art project with Mommy, etc.

I have the same problem with my 2 year old. She was even seen by a specialist cause she was losing to much weight. They told us to just keep trying new things and all eat our meals together. Which you said yall do. She still has good days and bad days. I would say just keep trying and dont get down about it. When she is hungry she WILL eat. Just keep giving her snacks through out the day. Thats what we do and when she is ready to eat she will.

I agree with the doctor. Eating so few choices of food is not healthy. It sounds like she is getting the same vitamins and minerals all of the time so that is not a good thing. Not to mention how sad it is that she is not learning the joy of eating a whole bunch of food items. I would also suggest that with her eating her healthy snacks she would not be overly hungry to eat a new, scary meal that is put in front of her. Any time my boys start eating poor meals the first thing I change is the amount or the times my sons are eating their snacks. Your child should not eat anything 2 hours before her meal. Let her feel hungry for lunch and dinner and you may have better luck talking her into eating it. Also, if you give her snacks after she has refused a meal then she surly has no reason to eat a meal that does not seem appealing to her. You may be enabling her picky eating. Most kids will not be so stuborn that they will go 24 hours without eating and I am sure you know your daughter will not wither away if you get firm with her. Your choice on how important she thinks eating the meal you put in front of her is. You are the only one who controls the food for her at 3 1/2. Also, when I make a new dish I always put known dishes with it. I would also be happy with small steps. She tries 1 bite of the new food before you let her fill up on the dishes you know she likes. Praise and encourage all successes even while you are insisting she eat that one bite, and it has taken you 30 minutes to get her to do it.

Have yet to read anyone elses response but let me tell you i have a very picky eater also..The whole make them eat what you are, that does not lways work.. My daughter will go a very long time without eating..She will be sooo grumpy and yell alot and still no eating.. So I think if you can adjust to eat and she is healthy it is between you and her.. My daughter even when i was pregnant if she didnt like what I ate she made me sick.. Still listen to yourself and your heart its YOUR daughter..I am sure you are a wonderful and maybe when she is older she will realize there is more to life than 10things to eat,, Good luck S. A

I now agree with the Dr. I am on a diet--monitored--and I am surprised how little do we actually need to eat and still be fine. Our portion sizes are way off--that's where all the obesity comes from. Now apply that to your child, they need even less as they are so much more little than we are.
Our family therapist put it that way: Your child is not going to starve, think about all the children on this world who go regularly with just one meal/day and still grow. So having all that said I don't think you Dr. would recommend not eating if she would be underweight.
If she is grumpy etc then put her in her room and tell her that unless she wants to eat what is on her plate she is not to come out and disturb the rest of the family with her rotten behavior. A social worker put it one time to me like that: If you don't have your child under control by the age of about 10 years old you lost and from then on they will run your house and you will do what they want you to do because by a certain time they will be taller and stronger than you and physically you will not be able to put them back into place. The only way you will be able to do that is psycologigly. You are the boss! You make the rules! (Within reason of course--and eating the right foods is within reason because you are responsible for her well being for the next 12 years.)

Good luck!

Hello! I am also at Incirlik (-5156). So, about your sweet little picky eater... I also have a three year old little girl and, while she is not really picky, sometimes I do feed her things that she doesn't want to eat. My rule is that she has to eat three bites (if it is a maindish) and at least one bite if it is a side dish. When she complains or argues, I stand firm. I think how important it is for her to have variety in her diet and to get different nutrients, and I also think how life is already complicated and I don't need to be making her something special for every meal! Too much work! :) Sometimes I remind her about what is for dessert, sometimes I actually spoon feed her while she is holding a cup of milk to wash it down, and sometimes we negotiate from 5 bites down to 3. A few times, she has taken a bite and realized that she liked it after all. I think that the important thing for you as a parent is to decide what your expectation is and then stick to it. It won't take long before she realizes that you mean business. This can still be done lovingly, saying things like, "Oh, I know it is so hard to try new things, but this will help your body to grow (or your hair to be shiny, or your teeth not to decay and fall out, etc.)." :) Good luck!

Your pediatrician is right. As a nurse, I'd say listen. As a Mom of two young ones under 4, I empathize with your concern. You have to do what works for you. I've seen it handled two ways. You can placate your child with what they want, or follow your pediatrician's advice. Children are resilient and you shouldn't feel guilty that your child chooses not to eat. Easy to say, not always easy to do. Children have to be guided into appropriate behavior. Feed them what the family is eating and they choose to eat or not. It really is on them and not you, as you are providing. It'd be different if you were forcing them to eat something you knew they didn't like. It's also going to depend on how you can persuade your child. Parenting is not always easy or popular... that's for sure!!! Consistency and follow through is important. Another possibility to look at is making sure snacks aren't too close to dinner and they'll be hungrier and more apt to eat. It doesn't hurt to try it for a while and see what happens. You may find it does work for you!!! I hope this helps. It's a tedious process but it does work in the long run.