3.5 Yr Old D Does Not like to Play Dress Up

Updated on November 18, 2008
J.M. asks from Pascoag, RI
9 answers

My 3.5yr old D did not want to dress up for Halloween this year; which was ok. For some reason she does not like to play dress up - any suggestions would be great!

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answers from Boston on

Playing dress up is not mandatory for little girls. Maybe she's just not ready. I assume she likes to play other types of imagination games (tea party, house, dolls, etc.) Does she play with other little girls who like to play dress up? Maybe it's not the dress up part of Holloween that she doesn't like. Maybe it was the costume (too itchy, uncomfortable) I really wouldn't worry too much about this.

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answers from Boston on

I would probably try just accessories - hats, scarves, necklaces...some kids just aren't into it though, I think it's a personality thing.

Maybe try having her make some costumes with you? Just wrapping lengths of cloth around, making masks out of paper plates? Does she have dolls to dress up, or paper dolls?



answers from Boston on

Hi J. - This may sound strange to you, and please read with an open heart - because that is what it is sent with.

But.... why does she need to play dress-up? I think if you think about it, maybe this is more about you than her.

Something to consider might be to just let her be who she wants to be - accept her as she is and find other entertainment for her. At 3, you have a very long road ahead of you as far as your child growing into who she is - the sooner you can change your perspective towards supporting her in that, the better for both of you!

And what I mean by this is simply that we all have our own needs, wants and desires. It seems strange and odd that our children aren't always what we expect or think they should be, and our immediate reaction is to "normalize" them towards what we see we want for them. Does this make sense? It is natural. (Not necessarily right, but natural nonetheless.)

But maybe you restrict her TV watching (a wonderful thing!) so maybe she doesn't see all the fantasy that's out there. Or maybe she's going to be an Dr. or Engineer and her brain just works different... Maybe her imagination isn't her top priority.

If she were kicking the cat, or hurting animals, I would be concerned. If she were putting herself in danger, then I would be concerned. These are lessons of love and compassion, and safety.

But if we want our children to be accepting of our differences as people, then we have to start by showing them the same example. That is a lesson in who we choose to be in the world and how we teach our children through that.

All that to say - relax! Have fun! Three is my favorite age... Go do other fun stuff - and thank GOD you don't have a HUGE plastic bin in her room full of old clothes that don't fit anymore.

She's fine. She's just her. Unique is wonderful!



answers from Boston on

This doesn't seem like anything you should worry about. Just let her have fun with the things that interest her.



answers from Boston on

Why does she have to dress up? If she is anything like my daughters, they never did anything I wanted them to do. Perhaps, if you leave the topic anyone, she may come around, she may not. However, either way, there is no milestone that says she needs to dress up.



answers from Boston on

I wouldn't worry about it. Different kids like different things. I bet by next year Halloween she'll be psyched about it.



answers from Burlington on

No need for her to play dress up. The imagination can be fed in so many other ways. And the emphasis on looks can be a negative thing.



answers from Hartford on

To be perfectly honest i would just let it go. Let her be who and what she wants to be. If she wants dress up, great, if not that's ok too. Maybe she is into trucks and building things... i don't know but the more you push onto her what YOU want the more she will reject it

I have two kids. One is my "princess" and the other could care less. It's just personality.


answers from Boston on

Let it be. There's no requirement that kids dress up, either for play or for Halloween. It's kind of nice that she isn't all gung ho to ring doorbells for candy - I don't know how long that will last, but enjoy it! Playing "let's pretend" can be done with voices or props rather than costumes, and if that doesn't work, explore/encourage her creativity in other ways such as by reading a story and using different voices, doing art or crafts, looking at clouds or leaves and imagining what else they might be, and so on.

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