3.5 Year Old Wont Poop in Toilet Anymore

I am just starting potty training with my son so I don't have serious experience related advice but while I realize this is very frustrating, I think you need to take a step back and put it in perspective. He's fine, you are fine, everything is fine...he's just exhibiting a difficult behavior. Stressing out yourself, or stressing him out--making a big deal about it will only make it worse and cause an actual psychological issue around it.

I mean, your son's poo habits should't be detrimental to your marriage ;-) Yeesh, with that kind of pressure it's doubtful *I* could perform!

It does kind of sound to me like he might have a control issue regarding his pooping so offer him this: poo in the big or little potty, choose one. See if that works...if not, put him in pull-ups and address it again a week. So, he's spending a bit more time in the 2 year old room. I understand that is upsetting, but really he's going to come around in his own time and once he does you can put this behind you. In other words, ultimately, the only thing YOU have control over is how you choose to deal with the issue.

Ugh, I feel your pain. One of my 3.5 year old sons is fully day trained on pee but waits until nap time EVERY day to poop in his pull-up. It is driving me crazy because he KNOWS how to poop in the potty, he has done it many times but just decided that this is the way he wants to do it. I have been PT'ing for almost a year now, and it is the HARDEST thing I have done as a parent! I am now trying to step back and let go because it seems like a control issue and if it truns into a power struggle it will just make it worse.

I am so against pull-ups. Either they are too big for diapers, or they aren't. I think it's important to set the expectations and then just follow through --even if this means they go poop in their undies.

I had cloth training pants. My daughter could wear her "elmo" undies when she put her poop in the toilet. Once she started going poop on the toilet, however, it was over with. She did hold at two points. She even went 4 days without going! I just explained to her the implications of holding, how it will hurt more, etc. I then waited. I also tried to figure out what was going on with her emotionally.

Something emotional is most likely going on with your son. Once you can figure out what that is, maybe you can get him to go back on the toilet. I've found that when they start doing weird things around going to the bathroom, something emotional is off and you need to help them get back on track. Have you asked him why he doesn't want to use the toilet?

If it was me, I'd sit down and tell him we need to have a discussion. I'd asked him why he doesn't want to use the toilet. After working through whatever the issue is, I would then explain that poop and pee are dirty and we put them in the toilet so we don't get each other sick. I'd then end the conversation by saying," You don't have to put her poop in the toilet, it's your choice, but do you really want to go poop in your pants? I'll leave it up to you. You're a big boy now, and more then able to be responsible for your poop and pee."

I'd then give him time. I would not take away any of the previous rewards, but I don't think I'd offer any more. He needs to make the choice by himself. He is more than old enough.

Try to figure out if something changed at school or at home that would cause him to regress. Talk to his teacher and see if something happened. Try to talk to him (my son usually spills the beans about things at bedtime) and see if something happened. Don't go back to pull ups or diapers because that will just help him regress. He may have to go in his pants and you may have to let him help clean it up to help get him motivated to use the toilet again. Talk to the doctor - there may be a physical problem he's having. Whatever it is, it will get better - all kids go through some sort of potty training drama. Hang in there!

When my daughter was a few months away from being 3, I told her no more poop in the diaper when she was 3. She had already been potty trained with pee for quite some time. I knew she could go poop on the toilet because she did it a few times. So when her third birthday came and went, I didn't give in. She sat on the toilet and tried to poop. Wouldn't do it. Day two, wouldn't do it. I didn't give in. I called the doctor for advice and they said to get some glycerin suppositories to insert in her rear end. I got those. On day three, still no poop. She let me put a suppository in her, and in 5 min. was on the toilet going poop, and we never looked back! Try that. The key is to not give in.