2 Year Old Won't Sleep in Own Crib

You might want to question whether you really need to make a change as soon as possible. Moving has obviously been really traumatic for him, and fighting over where he sleeps is obviously *extremely* traumatic for him. I suggest that you and your husband let him sleep with you for a while until his upset ebbs. You might actually start to relax once you ask yourself, truly, what's the hurry? The sooner he feels secure regarding sleep (and his new home, in general), the less likely he is to develop more extreme and longer-term sleep problems.

Forget about the goal of getting him out of your bed in the immediate term. Make the only goal to be his feeling safe and comforted in the face of nap-time and bed-time.

To start, spend pleasant time in his new room during the daytime. Play with him and cuddle with him there.

Put up some pictures of his favorite people and memories there. Maybe use a bulletin board or something like that, and put it at his level where he seems to spend the most time.

Pick out some special items, with him, to go in his room (this doesn't have to mean a shopping trip for new stuff; it can be a shirt you have worn but not washed, or a memento from Grandma that usually stays in some other part of the house).

Explore the neighborhood with him. Go online or otherwise search for and map out fun and pretty places for you both to find together on little walks or short drives. Obviously, make these experiences very pleasant.

Talk about your move. If you live close enough to your old home, you might want to drive by there and explain that you don't live there anymore, but you are excited about your new home and you know he will love it there.

Explore your new house with him!

Build a little fort with him, perhaps near the couch, for his nap time, with blankets or sleeping bag, pillows, maybe a plate with little snack and no-spill cup of water. Make it his special little hide-out. Let him sleep where he knows you are nearby.

Make an immediate stop to the cry-it-out approach. Your instincts are absolutely correct. Be there for him and make him feel as secure as possible. This is the best way to create independence and confidence in a child. Holding him at arms' length will instead inspire clinginess and, in cases like this, desperation on the part of the child, leading to physical and emotional ailments that can last a lot longer than just short-term extra comfort in special circumstances like a big move.

So, for now, just be his sweet, loving mother, source of his comfort. He's still just a baby, and he needs Mommy and Daddy during a scary time. You and your husband are really all he has right now.

L.

Get him a stuffed animal that he clearly loves, and won't let you take away from him. My daughter latched on to a white bear and it never left her side, especially at night time. Turn out all lights - it is a known fact that sleep is deeper and better with no lights, and a slow warm bath just before bed. Make sure you keep his schedule the same each night - any variation will bring on anxiety and stress

Depending on how vocal he is (some two year olds have a huge vocabulary, some barely talk), you can sit down with him (I suggest in his room) and ask him what the problem is. Sort of have a "monster hunt" with him. Don't call it that, by the way! Explain that this is his big-boy room and that you and daddys room is just for you. (Or that you need alone time, your bed is too small, whatever) I would stop trying everything...don't lay in there with him or anything else, because kids figure out when they are making you feel guilty, and will keep it up to see what else they can get out of it.

We moved when my son was two or three and he didn't like going into his room, either. At all. We stuck to our guns, and fixed or explained away all of his fears. That was four years ago, and he's been fine in his room ever since. That being said, he shares his room, so that makes is a little easier.

Have you considered getting him a toddler bed? Perhaps the idea of getting to sleep in a "big boy" bed might excite him enough that he will try. Its just a suggestion...but good luck to you!

I agree 100% with Liev. My DD used to cry until she threw up. How traumatic for all of you! There's simply no need for it! My goal was always to make bedtime a pleasant event and believe it or not, one day they will be tired and want to go to bed.

A., mom of 21 year old and 10 year old
http://www.audreysallnaturalshoppe.com

I hate to tell you this, but some kids can actually train themselves to throw up when upset. At first they actually cry until they get choked up and throw up. When they see what a quick response this brings (poor thing, lets get you out of the crib, cleaned up and into our bed) they learn to trigger the throwing up. He obviously can't think this all through, but the process is there. Does he throw up when he is angry or upset? When he is throwing a tantrum for other reasons?

I've known a couple kids that could do this. It is a long a messy road to reverse the process once the kid starts.