2 Year Old Son Screaming at the Top of His Lungs When I Hold Another Baby

Well I don't know if this is how it will go for you, but in my house adding number two was a breeze! And don't think my situation isn't comparable - EVERY time I held a baby before my daughter was born, my son would freak out. This went on through my pregnancy, and I was like you are, really worried about how hard it would be the first few months with the new baby (my son was 3 1/2 when she was born). Strangely, he came to the hospital a few hours after she was born, hopped up in my lap, held her, and was just in awe of how tiny her hands and feet were. That evening at home he was petting her head softly and rocking her cradle. He was so in love with his sister, and still is almost three years later. We never put it into his mind that having a new baby in our house was a negative thing, he accompanied me to our Dr. appointments, and we let him input on name choices (he wanted to name her "firetruck"). We let him see us cuddle and coo over her, and he just followed suit. The strong reactions your son is having now MAY just disappear when he sees his own baby and feels some "ownership" towards it, since it will be a part of your family, not someone elses. Maybe not, but you can cross that bridge when you get to it - hop back on mamapedia and ask about sibling rivalry, you're bound to get lots of help!

I think your best bet will be to get him a doll. That way he can be the 'daddy' to his baby while you are busy taking care of your newborn. It will also be a good way to teach him how to handle the real baby. :) Don't let the fact that he's a boy put you off though, all 9 of my brothers played with dolls when they were young, and they are still pretty macho. ;)

Wow, territorial and possessive of you isn't he? How is he, say, when you step into the shower or tub? Will he give you freedom then?

I ditto the baby doll advice. And also get a fake liquid bottle, the kind where the liquid disappears and also start talking up the new baby on the way pronto.

In addition, start a basket of baby friendly, soft toys that are special just for your son to play with the baby sib. And talk about how special those toys are for the new baby and just for him to help you with the new baby.

And let him pick out blankets and clothes on a daily basis. Lay out 2 outfits and let him choose which one to put.

Congratulations and best of luck!!

I have kids that are 2 years and 3 months apart. My oldest is a girl, though and that may have some bearing on things, but she wasn't much into dollies at the time, actually. Like another poster said, though, you mihgt want to get him a baby doll that will cry and stuff so he can feed his baby while you feed yours, etc. Also, you might want ot start training him to do things more independantly and to help you more, stating now, BEFORE the baby comes. Like, walk up and down stairs holding your hand or only onto the wall or railing, "bring mommy a diaper or the wipes, please" , etc. They really can be a big help when your hands are full, and make sure they are well praised for their help.

Nursing or feeding times are usually the hardest in the beginning I think. You may want to prepare a "nursing basket" that you keep with you in your daytime nursing areas - have special toys, snacks, books that he only gets while you are feeding the baby, in there, and a stock of anything else you might need, so he can hand it to you - water bottles, lanolin, nursing pads, burp cloths. That helped us alot.

Make sure he is still getting snuggle time and alone time with you regularly through the day. When we were putting the kids down for naps, we started form day one putting baby down first, I would have the "big girl" go in her room and pick out 2 books to read with mommy after I put the baby down -so we could have "mommy and big kid time" And i would put the baby down, and then come and read to her and cuddle her in my lap before her nap - 2 years later and we still do it that way.

Also, I reccommend you get a sling or a moby wrap or some type of baby carrier, so you will be able to carry your baby and still have hands free for the toddler. Makes a huge difference expecially in thos early days when the newborn needs so much attention and sometimes will not sleep unless on mommy!

Good Luck, You can do it and he will love "his baby"!

Jessie