17 Month oldAWFUL When She Gets Home from Day Care!!

Updated on June 08, 2012
M.S. asks from Cincinnati, OH
9 answers

My daughter is 17 months old. She has been at home with me since the day she was born. I recently went back to work and have put her in day care. The day care is amazing and all the people are so nice and wonderful, the owner attends my church. She cries when I drop her off, Burks fine after I leave. Sheba's had no problems there. She is a little fussy when I pick her up but its just because she is tired. I lay her down for a short nap when we get home and when she wakes......she is terrible. Doesn't listen or behave so well like she used to. Is this normal???? She has always been a well behaved child (a few time outs here and thee) but now she is almost too much for me to handle!! HELP!!!! Do I just need to give her more time to adjust, its only been a week.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

This is normal. Kids go thru times when they're crankier than other times. And she's nearing the twos. She's wanting more independence. She may be needing more attention from you after the day away from you. She definitely needs more time to adjust. A week is hardly any time at all.

I also suggest that it may take her awhile to fully wake up from her nap. Try holding her and gently interacting with her without requiring anything from her for 20 or so minutes.

My 14 month old granddaughter needs to be held by her mom or dad after she wakes up from her late afternoon nap. They hold her while fixing dinner and after dinner she's fine.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

At that age, they get more and more mobile and interested in things and independent. It doesn't sound that unusual. Be sure you're keeping her on a consistent schedule and giving her time and attention when you get home, as she will need nurturing time with you.

BTW, time-outs as discipline at 17 months old seems quite young for that tactic.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

This is normal even if she was not in daycare. She is tired she is hungry she wants to be held and she cannot verbalize any of this to you.

I suggest when you pick her up, gve her a little snack.. When youi get home, if you feel she needs a small nap fine, but make sure this does not mess with her night time sleep.. When she wakes up take about 10 minutes to just hold her. maybe read a book.. And option is to take her outside and let her play or you take her on a walk, or put her in a stroller.

She just needs so adjustment time to switch from daycare to home.

Just hang in there.. study the problem and figure out what works best for all of you, then stick to that schedule.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Normal for the age. Sounds hungry and tired. Try feeding her both before and after her nap.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

She's 17 months, this is when they start becoming more independent and really getting into everything, which is a sign of healthy development. You just have to keep them safe from getting into things they shouldn't. I'd stick with just redirecting at this age over time-outs, I agree w/ PP that she's too young for those right now. At daycare, there is lots of stimulation and that's what she's adjusting to, she's just tired and most likely hungry. I remember picking my son up at around 18 months from daycare, he would be having so much fun from playing with the other kids and not want to leave (which made me feel good that he was happy)...I'd get him home and he would be pretty difficult, he just needed a nap and some food.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you are coming home at hap time after lunch and is she just there a couple of hours?

Kids usually will fall asleep for the ride home if they are over tired but as for laying her down at dinner time if that is when you are coming home....I would rather feed her, do bedtime routine, then down for the night. This might be similar to waking someone in the middle of the night day after day after day. She gets to deep sleep just in time for you to wake her up. Her sleep cycle may be getting too messed up. At this age one nap per day should be enough if she is getting to sleep well at nap time.

Maybe she needs more time to transition and play when she gets home. Not going to lay down and take a 2nd nap. She is too old for 2 naps per day unless she is exhausted or not feeling well, which again leads to the falling asleep in the car seat on the way home.

Try entertaining her and keeping her awake until at least 7pm then start the bedtime routine. I bet she starts going to deep sleep better and is more herself soon.

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M.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

I think she sounds tired. I know sometimes when my son gets up from a nap and he is still tired, he is just cranky and out of sorts afterwards. Not sure what time you are getting home, but can you avoid the nap and just make bedtime earlier?

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wonder if she is eating well enough and getting a long enough nap when she comes home. Is she eating at day care? If so how different are the foods from what she eats at home? Could there be an allergy issue going on from a food they serve that you do not? Get a hold of their menu and see what foods on there are "typical" allergens and go from there - she could be irritable from that.

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N.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hi,

It took mine two months to adjust fully but she was behaving better after 3 weeks.She started at 15 months . She still cries when i drop her off and pick her up but she is fine between.At my daughter daycare they had a camera in the hallway outside the classroom (this is how i know she was fine between).We have to stopped the daycare for the summer(as i have 4 kids and can't afford daycare for 4 kids) and i fully except another readjustment for the fall. What did help with my daughter was bringing familiar stuff from home.She got very attached to a pillow pet and a blanket she had at home and her bottle(she wasn't that attached to those items before daycare) .She never had a pacifier before and i decided to let her have it as the daycare cut off bottle at 14 months(they made an exception for my daughter for one month then she switched to the pacifier,So at 15 months i bought her a bunch of pacifiers size 6-18 months).This helped with the behavior at home.(she was so awful too,cry constantly,and wanted to be held constantly and waking up 2 to 4 5 6 times at night and wanted to be rocked back to sleep).It was A VERY ROUGH 3 weeks. However now that she is home,i am trying to not let her have the pacifier so much(she had it almost 24/7 the few months of daycare that she did) as i think it did slow down her speech but totally saved my sanity(When she was so awful and so demanding all i got to do was gave her the pacifier and blanket and hop she went to play).And that was a though choice too.Like i said i couldn't be just with her constantly as i had 3 other small kids to take care off too(3,6,8 at the time).My 3 year old on the other end adjusted really well to the daycare.Good luck with everything and may be my experience will help you some.
N.

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