Z.M. asks from Los Angeles, CA on October 11, 2011
Would You Consider This a Threat?
First I'd like to thank all of you who responded to my question last week. I decided I couldn't take it anymore, it wasn't worth my health (stress, ulcers, grinding teeth while I sleep etc etc) I chatted with my boss on Facebook, "If at all possible, please don't schedule me with Hannah again or I'd have to give my two weeks notice." My boss then said to me "don't ever threaten me again." I honestly and sincerely don't feel that I was threatening her at all but was merely giving her a heads up. She's already short staffed and if somethings not done soon, I will quit. I asked her why she doesn't put up a help wanted sign, there's always moms coming in and asking if we're hiring. Also there's always word of mouth for someone who brings their kid there to another mom. I told her we really need a real mom just like the rest of us there but she keeps hiring these high school students. I remember one of you said last week that you know a few h.s.'s that ARE responsible, but I swear they must be far in-between.
I had to work with her again tonight, it took her 20 min to take out the garbage and the dumpster is right out our back door, it took her 15 min to clean each bathroom, all she has to do is clean the toilet and sink (the cleaning staff does the rest) She also laid on the floor, leg bent over other knee and just gazed up at the lights. We were very BUSY during this time too. A little baby girl (about 14 mo) had climbed on top of the doll house , about 3 ft off the floor and was standing there looking out thru the railing. Her head could easily have gotten stuck, she's SO tiny. I was working with the older kids when this happened and when I came back that's when Hannah was lying there and little girl was up. I told her to get up and do her job if she really wants it.
I'm so frustrated with my poor manager of a boss, also told her last week that H doesn't like to help pick up toys and rarely watches the kids. She tells me she will review the video tape, and let me know. When we worked together on Friday, she said "I watched the tape, and I saw H picking up all night long" I think my mouth dropped as low as it could possibly go, I was lost for words. I was so mad and didn't say much the rest of the afternoon, then she must have sensed I was angry/hurt cuz she then says later in the shift "I fast fwrd'd the video and you were really hoppin, you didn't even sit down once" Ahhh...No kidding, when I had to do the work of two people.
I didn't know that by taking this job just over a year ago that I was signing a life time commitment. I've tried to tell her and give her warning, but she takes it as a threat. No it's not a threat, I want to keep my sanity and health. BTW did I tell you before my husband says I no longer smile anymore so it's very evident I'm not happy. I was 100% SAHM for before and want to go back to it but how the heck do I tell her I'm done if she thinks I'm threatening her?
So What Happened?™
EDIT: As for the help wanted sign, she once told me she didn't want to appear desperate, and now tonight, she told me she's afraid she will get Mexican, Somali and Indian people in to apply. I was totally sickened by that. Is that prejudice or what?!!! Very much discrimination going on. But I only said well you are the boss, so you can pick n choose whoever you want. Then she tells me Well, then I have to deal with their comments, you're not hiring me cuz I'm............(the ethnicity background)
Featured Answers
B.. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2011
Just quit the job, you aren't happy!
Also, learn workplace etiquette. Texting while working, texting and facebook commenting about job status with the boss...that's unprofessional. Most places would fire YOU for that.
3 moms found this helpful
J.B. answers from Los Angeles on October 11, 2011
if it was me i would give my two weeks. you were not being threatening. if there is someone above this lady go to them. it sounds like her and H are buddies and she is acting high school like.
2 moms found this helpful
T.K. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2011
Yes. I would, based on the way it was presented. Meet my demand or else. What can that be other than a threat? Not to say you aren't in a pickle. But yes, that was a threat. The rule in communication is the only message that counts is the message recieved. She recieved that as a threat, so it doesn't matter how you intended it. Sorry. Myabe it is time to move on, get some fresh air. Go find a job that will allow you to be happy and fulfilled.
More Answers
R.J. answers from Seattle on October 12, 2011
Note to self: Next time she schedules me with Hannah... give two weeks notice.
((Wait, it happened tonight. Again. After I spoke with my boss, after I warned my boss I was at the end of my rope. After I specifically said that I will quit if I have to work with her again. Headsmack. TO DO LIST TOMORROW: 1) Give 2 weeks notice.))
There's no more "warning". There's obviously no negotiating. You've drawn your line in the sand and your boss has already crossed it at least once. Now's the time where you DO STOP threatening, and follow up on your promise.
Threaten, warn, promise... it doesn't matter which word you want to use to describe it; you told your boss that you are completely unwilling to work with H anymore, and will be giving your notice if she schedules you with her again.
Don't play ring around the rosies, or it's just empty threats. She schedules you with Hannah, hand in your 2 week notice.
8 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Redding on October 11, 2011
My first thought was....
You chatted about this on Facebook?
I'm sorry, but that is incredibly unprofessional.
That is not the time or place to discuss other coworkers, your job, your schedule, your employment. PERIOD.
If I were your employer, I would have your last paycheck ready for you and you could have a two week head start on finding another job.
Sorry.
I've been in management and HR and if you have issues with a coworker or working conditions, etc....
You DON'T bring it up on facebook!
Your boss now has it in writing that if she doesn't do this or that, you will leave.
Legally, she can tell you not to let the door hit you in the butt on your way out.
California is an "at will" employment state. That means you can leave with no reason. That also means your employer can terminate you with no reason.
Although....you've just given one.
I've been putting up with a coworker from hell and I am the only one who hasn't complained to my boss. It's not because I'm a sucker....it's because I'm too busy doing my job and getting things done correctly for the sake of the business and it hasn't gone unnoticed.
I'm no saint, there have been days I've thought, "If she's not gone, I will be."
I've even applied for a couple of other jobs, but not just because of her. I know I deserve more than I'm making and my boss knows it too.
I've shown too much class to complain about someone who can't even take phone messages correctly, who refuses to listen to me or anyone else, who has the crappiest attitude on the face of the planet and drags everyone else down.
I work circles around her and build everyone else up.
I would never say that it's her or me unless I was prepared to pick up my last paycheck.
My boss likes me. She constantly does nice things for me to thank me for the great job I do.
She's not stupid.
She hears constant bickering and employee dynamics and I have a smile every day and get things done.
A little peon who doesn't do her job and complains about every single thing isn't worth my time trifling over, especially when her attitude is so bad that she makes it clear she's not happy. She makes everyone ELSE miserable while she's at it.
So...if you no longer smile and you're unhappy and you want to go back to being 100% stay at home mom for your sanity and your health.....
Why are you blaming a coworker?
Why would you give your boss an ultimatum?
Why would you do it on Facebook?
I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it does sound like you are trying to force your boss's hand in the situation.
I don't know you, I'm not judging you, but I'd can you in a heartbeat.
....Just for bringing it up on Facebook if nothing else.
There is something to be said for discretion.
You have a right to your feelings.
If you'd be happier not there, then spare everyone. Make the decision yourself.
Again, no offense, I promise.
Best wishes.
4 moms found this helpful
M.M. answers from Chicago on October 11, 2011
It looks to me like you interchanges with your boss are VERY unproductive and unprofessional.
Threatening her? She should be if a child breaks a neck in her daycare!
I think I responded to your post last time and I urge you this time to document everything and interact with your boss professionally. Stop text messaging her and sending her some Facebook comments. If something happens at the daycare (God forbid!) investigators will be all over that place and if you did not cover your butt - you will be found guilty as an accomplice.
Document the girl's performance. Write your boss letters and memos and keep copies. If she ignores you and something happens - you warned her, she made a bad choice by not staffing her daycare adequately. You are playing with fire here.
I hope this resolves and the kids will be out of danger soon.
3 moms found this helpful
B.. answers from Dallas on October 12, 2011
Just quit the job, you aren't happy!
Also, learn workplace etiquette. Texting while working, texting and facebook commenting about job status with the boss...that's unprofessional. Most places would fire YOU for that.
3 moms found this helpful
A.C. answers from Raleigh on October 11, 2011
My first thought here was that you shouldn't be friends with your boss on Face Book. Otherwise, if you are truly fed up, able to stay home, then by all means, do that!!
2 moms found this helpful
J.B. answers from Los Angeles on October 11, 2011
if it was me i would give my two weeks. you were not being threatening. if there is someone above this lady go to them. it sounds like her and H are buddies and she is acting high school like.
2 moms found this helpful
☆.H. answers from San Francisco on October 11, 2011
Is the boss friends with Hannah's parents or something? Sounds like you are up against something that you can win. Maybe her head is too far up her you know where to see what really goes on, and she just sees you as a chronic complainer? Anyway, just give your notice and find work elsewhere. You are being abused and not valued by your employer and that is unlikely to change.
2 moms found this helpful
L.H. answers from Davenport on October 11, 2011
I think it's time to stop talking "threatening" her, and just do it. Quit. She sounds like a terrible boss, and your work place sounds dangerous. I would not work at a place where children are in danger and the boss ignores the situation and is worried about hiring people. It may be difficult to go without a paycheck until you can find another job, but it would be even harder to defend yourself in a lawsuit if a child is injured on your watch.
2 moms found this helpful
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