WILL NOT Poop in the Potty

Updated on August 09, 2007
E.R. asks from San Antonio, TX
14 answers

I have no idea what to do. I am at my wits end. My 3 year old is, for the most part, potty trained, but WILL NOT poop in the potty. I've sat her on the toilet for 45 minutes at a time and she will sit there and cry, read a book, sing, whatever, and then as soon as she gets down, she poops in her pants. She understands the concept,but just won't do it. I don't know if it's because she isn't getting enough attention or what. I do the "poo-poo dance" when she goes in the potty, but she hasn't done it in quite a while. I've started taking her toys away when she goes in her pants because I believe she is doing it only to be defiant. Any ideas? Thoughts? Advice?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well, I took away her My Little Pony's and OMG the very next day she pooped in the potty at daycare. I was shell shocked. Then the next day (Saturday) she called me upstairs to tell me she had pooped in the potty. I told her I wanted to see it and sure enough she did...and right after I did "The Dance" and gave her a high five she asked me "Mommy, can I have my ponies now?". Maybe that did work. I don't know, but I think we may have licked it. Thank you soooooo much for all your input. I am definately going to remember this website as time goes on.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.

answers from San Antonio on

My son did the exact same thing a few years ago (he is almost 6 now). I found the only thing that worked in this case was BRIBERY! I told him that as soon as he pooped in the potty we would go to ChuckECheese. About 3 days later he pooped in the potty for the first time and has been doing it ever since!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Dallas on

When my little girl did this, I decided to use her baby doll to help us. She was very attached to one baby, she called Pink Baby. I would put pink baby on the big potty and then have her sit there for a little bit and then I would sneak cut up tootsie rolls in the potty and we would celebrate that Pink Baby put poopie in the potty and now it was time for my little girl to do the same and she did it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.F.

answers from Killeen on

Dont fret! Its not - its not even that she is trying to get your attention. My daughter was the exact same way - but after sitting her down and talking with her (as well as a 3 yr old can talk) I found out the sensation it created within her scared her.

So, we focused on her pee peeing on the potty - and while she was on there I would sit with her and encourage her, tell her it was alright, momma has to go poo poo on the potty too. She stayed with my parents for a weekend, and they worked with her the same way.... along with her daycare, and the kids in her classroom accomplishing the same task. Once she relaized it was something everyone did, and that she was not a bad girl if she did not do it, she was excited to get this hurdle behind us.

Not to mention she was rewarded everytime she even tried - like when se had gas... YUK it stunk, lol.... She got two M&Ms....

She is doing wonderfully now, even when we go out shopping she still manages to tell me when she has to go - We are finally done with the training!!! Woo Hoo!

Be patient and just encourage her all you can

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Austin on

Dont freak my daughter did the same.. for a different reason. she hold her poop when she is at her dads so when she comes home to me that when she will try but by that time its hard and big. So pooping in her diaper is easyer. Instead of getting mad. I would put a present in the bathroom wraped so she could not see it. When she pooped she got the gift.. It worked great at my house and got her completely trained then she went back to dads and they put a diaper on her.. So when she came back we talked about big girls and read all the potty storys.. Now she is going both places. It takes time..... But I had to take away the diapers.. it seems to give her the go ahead in her diapers when she had them on.. So we went straight to panties or nothing at all( around the house)... It will come...
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from El Paso on

Wow the poo-poo dance! The things that moms come up with! Have you try offering her a reward if she does go on the potty, like candy or soemthing she really likes? Thats works with my daughter sometimes. I hope you figure it out!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Anchorage on

I agree with Lorene, I've been told that the poo poo thing is the hardedst becsause of the phsycological effect it has. Kids think they are "loosing" part of themeselves in the potty. Be consistant, and of course use bribery to the fullest extent!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Amarillo on

My 3 year old son was the same way. What finally worked for him is that I set up the little potty in the bathroom. Until that time, he had always wanted to pee in the big potty, but I think he was afraid to climb up there and poop in it. He was also very embarrassed with the whole potty training process, and hated that I had to help him on the potty to poop. With the little potty, he could take himself, with no assistance from me. After just a few weeks, I took away the little potty. By then he no longer liked going in his pants, and made the transition into the big potty just fine. Another thing that worked really well for him was stories. Each night before bed I would start a really good story. When he seemed interested, I would stop and tell him he could hear the end of the story when he pooped in the potty. He had to know what happened, and would poop so I would finish the story. His favorite stories were about the things I did to my little brother while growing up! Hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Phillips MOM followed by a cup of juice and a cup of water. Watch for the uh oh look and put her on the pot. There is no way she'll hold that for 45 minutes, and if constipation or pain is an issue - it will get rid of it.

It could be that she goes in her pants because it is more comfortable standing up if she is even a little constipated (less pressure on the anus)... sitting and bearing down (remember labor) makes it feel as though she may be splitting in two.

The pain, hold it, pain can cause a much bigger problem - severe constipation or an intestinal obstruction.

On the other hand, if you think she's doing it for attention - stop giving her the attention. When she poops in her panties, make her take them off, dump them in the potty, flush it, and wash them. Trust me - if she's doing it by choice, doing that a few times will change her mind.

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Killeen on

We had the same issue instead of making her sit on the potty for so long I would wait till she showed signs that she was about to poop. Then I would rush her into the bathroom right before she would poop. That way she had not time to make it go back in. Then once she finished we gave her an ice cream or some type of treat she wanted. This encouraged her to tell me when she felt the urge to poop. For a little while I would have to hold her on the potty and hug her because she seemed a little scared to poop on the potty. After that we started giving her treats once a day for going all day in the potty. Hope this helps. Sometimes she asked for daddy to take her. (He convinced her much quicker sometimes)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.O.

answers from Austin on

My son would not poop in the potty either. I was at my wits end as well. I talked with his Pediatrician--2 different ones in fact and they both agreed it is a losing battle. You can't force them to poop. They told us to back off and relax and he will go when he is ready. So we did. He started going on his own. We would give rewards as well when he went, but wouldn't push when he didn't. We gave him the option to go in a pull-up so it wouldn't be so messy. We just relaxed about it and he did too and finally started. Now he is completely potty trained.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from San Antonio on

E.,
Don't despair! My little girl did the same thing...I trained both my kids at the same time during May of this year...my son was about to turn 4 and my daughter was about to turn 3...my little girl was doing better than my son except for the poo-poo thing...she refused to do it in the toilet even though she had done it in the toilet once before!
I purchased an online potty training tutorial and the advice it gave concerning this was having the child clean up their own feces. I know it sounds gross, but it works. My son went ballistic when he had to do this, and needless to say he hasn't done it since. It took my daughter about two weeks, but not one poo-poo accident since.
You can put gloves on her, but have her put her poo-poo from her underwear into the toilet, all the time telling her that poo-poo belongs in the toilet not in her panties.
Hope it helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Amarillo on

hi,
my name is J., and i have a 4year old that just learned to poop in the potty. i was getting desperate. we are a navy family a, my hubby just retired. i know preschool was coming up and no daycare center on base wanted to accept a preschooler that doesnt go potty. and we just moved to amarillo, from NAS JAX, fl

thru my middle son whose 7, i learned that he told my 4 yr old that a hand could fit thru the potty. So thats what started the nightmare. hes a smart kid, i tried everything in the book. i started to tell him, ur a big boy now, and only ur babies poop in their diaper. "if you poop in the potty, you will get a big present and you will make me very happy. (basically bribed) lol
i took away his favorite toys and i even took away his blankie. i told him did u know its ok, to bring a book while you wait for the poop to come out?
now, he poops,and pees no problem. i guess the problem is, the kids see this big hole and they think something might jump out at them! it sound funny, but i was analyzing that myself. So.. now he'll call the whole family to come see the huge log he left behind. but now i have to work on that cuz, im pretty sure the school teacher is not going for that. i had a 3 month old nephew in our house, while he was being potty trained. i had to tell him only Babies can poop in the diaper. another thing i mentioned, u poop in potty, u get to go to chuck e cheese and ride cool games. cuz chuckie doesnt like kids that poop in their diaper.
i hope some helps.
J. S.

Mommy to 3 boys ages 4,7,11.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.E.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter was the same. She didn't want to poop in the potty because she was not comfortable doing it. She always poops standing by the sofa, holding the corner of the sofa. So, she coundn't push when she sits down. So, I put a box under her feet so she can actually put her feet on and push. I also hold her hands so she can grab something. She still didn't like doing it and cried everytime she pooped in the potty. But, little by little she got used to it and now she sometimes does it three times a day. As soon as your daughter finds her way to do it, she should start doing it. I hope it will help you. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Lubbock on

I agree with some of the other responses. You can't force them to go, and you should not punish her for not going in the potty. If you punish her, then she will associate negativity with going to the potty, and then it might take her even longer to go on her own. We would catch our son trying to poop, and rush him into the bathroom. Sometimes he would finish on the potty, and sometimes he would already be done. But, once he finally did poop in the potty, then he started recognizing when he had to go. Then, he started telling us. We never got mad at him when he pooped in his diaper or pull-up, we just talked about how yucky it was and that all big boys poop in the potty, and to tell mommy next time so that he could poop in the potty. He finally would realize it before he went. Then it was easy to get him to poop in the potty. Now we are working on not peeing in his underwear at night time. Good luck with everything.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches