43 answers

Help...6 Year Old Will Not Poop in the Toliet

I am at my wits end. My 6 year old poops in his pants a couple of times a day. He will not use the toliet - never has. I have tried incentives like stickers, candy, and toys. I've taken things away like favorite toys, video games, computer, TV. I've yelled and I've softly tried to reason with him. I don't know what else to do....

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I've had this problem with my son (now almost 10) for years. It's likely that it'snot hs fault. Take him to the doctor because he may nt be able to actually feel himself going. He may be impacted (constipated) which causes the poop to leak around the blockage. Because the blockage presses on the nerves, the nerves stop recievig signals that the person has to go to the bathroom. Please, take him to his doctor.

1 mom found this helpful

If there's something he wants really bad, tell him the only way he will get it is if he poops in the toilet. I don't usually condone bribery, but sometimes it works. My youngest daughter wet her bed until she was almost 8. I promised her a canopy bed if she stopped before her birthday came. She did and got the bed. She never wet the bed again. Good luck, M.

Hi
I am 41 years old and I have three sons also age 15-13-almost 5 year old I am also a photographer so we have a couple of this in common. I also worked in a Montessori School for 11 years.
I find that the easiest way for me has been to allow my youngest (peak) or watch my husband or one of my sons who may be willing for a BREIF.. moment to cooperate.
Younger siblings almost always want to do what ever the older one is doing so by having extra males in the house they can help in guiding him it usually works.

More Answers

I've had this problem with my son (now almost 10) for years. It's likely that it'snot hs fault. Take him to the doctor because he may nt be able to actually feel himself going. He may be impacted (constipated) which causes the poop to leak around the blockage. Because the blockage presses on the nerves, the nerves stop recievig signals that the person has to go to the bathroom. Please, take him to his doctor.

1 mom found this helpful

My three year old mastered the peeing in the potty or she likes to say "putting her water in the water" but when it came to poop she was scared. I told her once her pack of pull ups was gone she had to wear her Dora undies. We counted down until the last pull up was used and when she was done I was so nervous but she knew she didn't have an option so she did it (big girl panties). No accidents because I told her she can't wet or mess up her Doras because I would have to throw them away.

After taking your son to Dr. maybe give him no more options like on a weekend say he ruined all his underwear and the ones he is wearing is all he has left.

1 mom found this helpful

It may seem strange to you, but some people don't like poop water splashing up on their behinds. See if he will use a potty seat with the attached cup...ask at your local hospital, they use cups that attach to the toilet, to gauge how much fluids certain people are urinating. Slowly over time, add a little bit of water so he gets used to it. Worth a shot. If this doesn't work, I would ask his pediatrician or a gastroenterologist for advice. Oh, I just remembered. Someone I know gave their child some kind of laxative...obviously they don't want to do that in their pants...it is extreme and is a terrible clean-up the first tiem, but I remember it worked for them. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

it sounds like he maybe has an overactive bowel or something - if he is pooing several times a day for a start that doesnt sound right, at most he should be going once a day.
what does he say when you ask him about it?, can he help it, does it just come out without him realising?, how does he cope at school with this.
hopefully there is nobody "fiddling about" with him - its a horrible thought but you could ask him, or maybe he has a mild form of spina bifida which can affect the nerves to the rectum and make him unknowing of the fact that he needs to poo.
this is definately not normal behaviour, maybe you should take him to first a doctor to find out if its physical - then a psychiatrist to find out if its a mental health issue.

1 mom found this helpful

This must be so frustrating. Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? I guess the first thing would be to make sure there's nothing physiological going on that could cause this, and your pediatrician should know what to check for. Ruling that out, and this may be a little gross, you could allow him to start to have to deal with the consequences of going in his pants instead of the potty: allow the poopy to stay in his pants for a little while - not long enough to get smeary and requiring a bath, but long enough to be smelly and uncomfortable. Also, at 6 is he able to help clean up the mess when he goes in his pants? If you can share the inconvenience and yuckiness with him so that going in his pants is as unpleasant for him as it is for you, and otherwise not make a big deal of it (because the focus and attention on his potty habits may, strange as it sounds, be its own sort of "reward"), he may come around to realizing that he's really only creating a problem for himself.

Good luck, mama! Hope it works out for everyone soon!
Liz H.

1 mom found this helpful

Just a suggestion, talk to him- ask if he is afraid to go in the toilet, ask does it hurt to use the bathroom?, Can he feel the poop come out?, If he is afraid of falling in-or maybe of something coming out of the toilet?I watched a movie that had me lifting the toilet seat, checking the shower and anywhere else that water was(yes I watched "IT"-stephen king movie)and I think I was 12 but I would hold everything as long as I could- but yes I would only be scared for a few days and then I was back to normal... if its falling in hes afraid of try going to a Lowes or Home Depot, they have toilet seats made for little butts(smaller hole) it attaches above the regular seat with hinges, my neighbor bought one for all her daycare kids and it was a big hit with potty training, kids weren't so scared to sit... does he have the accidents at school too or just at home? I hope this all helps. and if all fails go buy some old people diapers and see what he says about having to be a baby again... or ask the doctor for more suggestions... sorry- I realy hope it gets better!

1 mom found this helpful

You need to take him to the Dr.
There may be something physically wrong.
You Pediatrition is a great resource not
just for when a child is ill.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear J.,

I feel your frustration. I had the same struggle with my oldest son, and like you, I tried everything all the experts recommended. But my son is very strong-willed, and I've noticed that all the advice and guidance of the "experts" really doesn't help with a strong-willed child, so I threw out all the "rules" and created my own method - I call it Potty Training Bootcamp. My husband and I fed our son as many prunes as he would eat, and then sat him on the toilet until he had a BM. During that time one or both of us stayed with him, and we read to him, brought toys, gave him water to drink, and sang with him. We started immediately after breakfast and he still hadn't gone by lunchtime, so we let him off to eat lunch, and then it was right back on the toilet. He finally had a BM at 1 P.M. We had to do this same routine for 3 days, and he was finally potty trained, although Day 2 he had it sooner, and Day 3 was shorter.

Good luck with the potty training. I know how much I hated cleaning out underwear!

1 mom found this helpful

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