Okay I Give Up

Updated on May 10, 2007
J.G. asks from Tulsa, OK
12 answers

My daughter wont poop in the potty she is three. At first bribing worked but not even that works now. I am at my wits end. I have had four kids and this one is the only one who i have trouble training. I am willing to try just about anything!

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S.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Try putting powdered benefiber in her juice. I also put it in oatmeal and on peanutbutter sandwhich. With the benefiber she will have to go and not be able to hold it. My son did this when potty training. It is a control thing. Good luck...

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M.J.

answers from Tulsa on

I went threw the same thing. and what ended up working for my daughter wuz having to wash her own panties. She did not like it and after the second time she went to the potty no questions asked

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R.R.

answers from Springfield on

Hello there! When my son wouldn't poop on the potty we found a way to get him to. He had a thing for flashlights, and one of the stores happened to have a Thomas the Tank one. We bought it, let him play with it for a little while, then took it away and put it up on a shelf. We told him when he can potty in the toilet he would get it back. It worked so amazingly well, we had such a hard time with him before that. Once or twice he decided to go in his pull-up after that, so when he did we took it away and gave it back the very next time he went in the potty. Good luck!!!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter turned 3 in Nov. and she just now is getting in big girl panties. So here is what I did. I had 5 coupons left for pull ups. I took her with me, bought those. Told her that is the last time we were buying pull ups. Then we also got panties, (let her pick them out). During the day we put her in panties and at night pull ups until they all ran out. My daughter also is looking forward to starting preschool in the fall. We told her that she could not go to school (shich she couldn't) if she was still wearing pull-ups. So it has worked, she has had 4 accidents, but that is okay, you just encourage her to not have them.

Hope this helps

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S.C.

answers from Lawton on

i had that problem with my oldest eventually he started but i think it was some knd of fear he had.just remember every one is diffrent.hang in there it will get better.

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,
I agree with shawn and debbie.
You have 2 routes you can take now and/or try both.
You are in the power struggle now you wabt her to go and she holds the power where she is gonna go.
So either go back to diapers or pullups whichever, or stick with the panties buy new pretty ones don't open them and when she finally poops in the potty she can have them.
I my opinion I don't think I would go backwards though, I think you should keep her in panties but no attention paid to it if she poops in her panties clean her up, put new ones on and keep going. Just act as if it's no big deal. When she does go in her panties you just say you pooped in your panties ok well lets go clean you up with no expression, no words spoke about it, not even a mention about whether she has to poop or not. After a few times and she is going potty I would go to the door and stand outside of it listen to see if she goes without saying anything to you. Calm, cool and collected is what you need to be now and she will get it. Goodluck and it will happen. W. mom of 4

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B.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you asked your daughter what would work for her to go poop in the potty? She may know,you'd be surprised and you can offer her choices if she needs ideas. This involves her in creating a program that she wants to do instead of you creating it. It really works!

My son and I created a book with all the ways we turned parenting problems into priceless memories. It's the most intelligent kids sometimes that experience the most problems and they can be guided to solve them, too. The book has ACTION timeouts that are quick and fun alone or together and may make both yours and your children's lives easier and happier.

My son is now 12, has Adhd and learning process disorder, but he gets straight A's, star of school play, great athlete, popular, good manners, everything I ever dreamed as possible!!! If you think my book can help you, it's only $9.95 at www.twominutemom.com

Did I mention that I am a single mom ith a pain disability? Both my kids are straight A students, good manners, etc. It really works for any busy parent.

Good luck!
B.

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S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I had the same thing. Tried everything, NOTHING worked. Until this advice, Tell her at the store they don't sell diapers anymore, be very "matter a fact" about it, and when she poops in her pants, set her in the tub, clothes on, in an inch of water with a wash cloth. Tell her your sorry, but she'll have to clean up her mess. It only takes one mess, and one time of THEM being inconvienenced, to clean themselves, and moomy not coming to the rescue, and they see that it is not fun at all.
Good Luck

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S.G.

answers from Tulsa on

You may not like this, but if you want to really just not have to worry about this, put her back in diapers. Just explain to her that if she's not ready to be a 'big girl' and go potty on the potty, that's perfectly fine, but until she is ready she will need to be in diapers. And don't just 'say' you're going to do this, have the diapers and DO IT! Over time, she will start to see all her friends start doing things that you will have to tell her she can't because she's in diapers. She won't be able to go swimming, because she is still in a diaper. She won't be able to go to 'school' because she's still in diapers. Mark my words, not going poo on the potty will end and it will be in her time. In the meantime, you may not be thrilled about changing diapers, but it's much easier on your nerves/patience when you aren't worrying about it. When she's dirty, you change her and keep going, unlike now worrying about 'is she going to go - what can I do to help - what bribe can I use next" etc. I know little girls who didn't train till almost five. All kids are different, with four you're probably very aware of that. So, my suggestion would be put the diaper back on and get your wits back. You got 1/4 that is going to train late, at least it wasn't the other way around :-) My daughter trained at 2yrs then went back to diapers then fully trained at 4 - it was so nerve racking and I was just about pulling my hair out when she reverted trying to find ways to 'get it back'. Then one day after about two months I just said forget it and went back to diapers. When she was truly ready, we stopped the diapers and were done and haven't gone back. Coming from someone who's been there, diapers are so much easier than the worrying/fretting/losing of wits, so just 'say no' and get YOUR life back. Good luck in whatever you choose to do :-) Tulsa, OK

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B.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My sister-n-law just went through this with my niece. She finally started making my niece help clean up her mess when she had an accident and wouldn't let her wear her "pretty" clothes and when she did go to the potty she would let her put a sticker on the wall by the toilet. Now I know stickers aren't necessarily the way for everyone but I know in daycare we'd use m & m's or other small candy but the jar would be left by the toilet, where they could see but not touch it.

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D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

You just have to leave it up to her. I'm dealing with the same thing. But my older boy was the same way. I just clean up the mess and go on. No reaction at all. Why should I pay him any positive or negative attenion for doing (or not) something that I know he can do.

Skip the pullups and just put her in her undies. So what if you need to do extra laundry. Be sure to carry extra's, wipes and bags to put dirty ones in.

R.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Hello,
You need to find out if she poops at the same time everyday. Then if she does work your plans around her, when its her time take her into the bathroom. Then hold her over the tolit. This is how my mother got me to go. I think kids are scared because of the noise. So wait until she is out of the bathroom then flush. It could also be because she doesn't want you to stop helping her. So go in the bathroom with her. Just until she feels like she can do it her self. Hope I was some help. Good luck!!!

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