Why Is 2 Year Old Suddenly Waking up at Night? Will It Ever Stop?

Updated on March 18, 2010
C.C. asks from Midlothian, VA
12 answers

Looking for some words of wisdom and hope! Our 2 year old twins have always been put into their cribs, soft music on and fell asleep on their own and slept through the night. It was heaven.

On 2/14, they got out/fell out of their cribs. Initially we put the crib mattresses on the floor and then 2 weeks later, when we had the money, bought twin beds and put them on the floor. We knew getting them to go to bed and stay in bed would be a struggle and it still is but I am ok with that. What I am struggling with is one of our boys gets up every night now and comes to the top of the stairs looking for me (our master bedroom is downstairs and we have a gate at the top of the stairs). If I go up, I put him back in the bed and if I even try to walk right out he freaks out, so I sit next to his bed and then when I think he is asleep I creep out. But he might wake up again 15 minutes later and go to the top of the stairs again. Some nights I am next to his bed for over an hour trying to creep out one or two times during that time. His brother never wakes up. Is this just because of the new beds? I don’t know if I am looking for fixes but just some hope that he will stop this soon and get back to sleeping through the night. I was up from 1-3 AM last night. The night before from 1-1:30 and 4-5. And every night before that it is some version of that. I work full time and am exhausted and really teary all the time because I am too tired! I thought I would get a sound machine. Thought maybe the white noise would help keep him asleep. He is not waking up screaming so I don’t think its nightmares and I don’t think he is afraid of the dark. They go to bed around 8-830. I think that is a good bed time and since I get home by 6, it is really hard to get them to bed much earlier than that. Any ideas/words of wisdom or reassurance? Why is this happening!!??????? I am tired!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

No new developments. I was awake with them from 1-4 AM last night. My family all think we need to put the beds away, bring the cribs back and get crib tents. They say the boys are clearly telling us they are not ready for big beds and its affecting their sleep and ours. What do you all think azbout that?

More Answers

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W.S.

answers from Washington DC on

hang in there, sweetheart, this too shall pass.

Our daughter did this to us. She would climb out of her crib, go downstairs without ever waking us and plunder the house. I had to have my glasses replaced twice. Here is what we did.

We put a "dutch door" on her bedroom, closed off all of the electrical outlets with protectors that she couldnt get off and put a lock that she couldnt reach on the outside of the dutch door. (a dutch door is like a barn door, both halves open but you can open the top and close the bottom)

we left her her toys and took the side off of her crib so she wouldnt fall getting out of it. She could get up and roam her room all she wanted but we made it clear that once she was "in bed" that we were not going to let her out again until morning, whether she was awake or not. We would go to the door, tell her hello, and tell her to go back to bed. Then we would go back to bed ourselves. It took about 2-3 nights before she realized that she was not going to get our attention this way and she would play until she got sleepy and go and get in her bed. And she was only about 2 years old at this time.

I hope this helps. The door helped us remove ourselves from her environment and taught her that bedtime was bedtime.

You are in my prayers.
W.

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Well it sounds like he has just realized that he can come out of his room on his own and like all children he wants to be by Mommy. I know how you can get him to stay in bed but it's hard to do. But it will work and it will be worth it. There are two ways, first you can just get one of those child locks for the door so he can't come out at all. He will cry and cry for probably a few nights but then he will understand that no matter how hard or long he cries you are not going to let him out. (my sis did this with her son and he ended up only crying for about 15 minutes for about 2 nights and then he was done.) You can also do the super nanny trick. Every time he comes out of his room you don't say anything to him NOT ONE WORD. And just keep placing him back in his bed over and over again until he finally stays in there are goes to sleep. I had to do this with my daughter. It only took one night but I did it for an hour before she finally went to sleep. She kept crying when I would place her in her bed and she would jump right back out and come out of her room. It was really hard to not say anything to her and just keep doing that over and over again but it was so worth it. She learned that no matter what she wasn't going to get any attention and that it was bed time not play/see mommy time. So after that one night she stayed in bed.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Chicago on

is he fully potty trained? they will wake when that urge hits them. He might be trying to let u know that his body wants to do the potty thing or maybe he is'nt sure what his body is telling him,. but i would try potty training. my dughter is going thru the same thing right now.

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T.H.

answers from Washington DC on

C., I have a 2-1/2 and a 3-1/2 and I can tell you there is an end to this. I have had the same problem and I have come to find out one of the reasons is due to the fact that I too am a full-time single mommy and I only get to spend about an hour and a half with my little ones on work nights. My daughter is the one that has awakened the most throughout the night and I have realized it is because she is affraid I am going to leave to go to work. When She wakes up she asks me to stay home with her and starts crying. The interesting thing is that she isn't even awake when she is doing it! I can tell you that depending on what they watch on tv throughout the day may be impacting there nighttime sleep patterns as well. My little ones are limited to what they can watch and there isn't anything put on the tv that shows violence or anyone being left behind. I always try to end the evening on a positive note and give my little ones re-assurance that I will still be there. We sit down every night and read a good book, get the teeth brushed, make sure the night time diapers are on and everything is squared away, then give hugs and kisses to siblings, go into the bedroom, my son shuts the door, turns off the light while I am holding him, I sing him a little song and give him a hug and a kiss and tuck him in. He sleeps through the night from then on unless of course he is sick. My daughter has the same routine except I don't sing her a song, we talk about the day as I lay there next to her, I ask her if she is going to grow tonight as I have told her that sleeping helps her grow and she will tell me yes a little or no, not tonight. From then on I ask her what she is going to be in her dreams tonight, be it a princess, a musketeer, a mermaid, a ballerina or just herself tonight. She will tell me and then we will say prayers, and I will ask her if she is going to have good dreams tonight and what she will dream about, she will tell me then I ask if she is going to sleep tight and she will normally say yes, then she cuddles down under the covers, gives me a couple hugs and kisses and then falls to sleep and sleeps through the night. I can tell you that what happens during the day plays a lot into what happens at night as if they have someone else around there age, or older saying things that may make them doubt anything they will wake up during the night worried about it. Children are far more intelligent than many people give them credit for as my daughter can remember getting tubes in her ears at six months then being abused, neglected and sexually molested at daycare when she was seven months old. I know how the exhaustion feels as I have been there and occassionally still experience those sleepless nights due to one of my little ones waking up, but I have found that if I sit down regardless of how tired I am and spend time with them, one on one, ask them about there day, and try to help them think happy thoughts it generally gives them plenty of peace so they sleep thorugh the night and I re-assure them I will see them the next day, as they are still asleep when I leave in the morning. I also call and talk to them at lunch time although I don't know if you are able to do this. I can tell you it will get better although I cannot give you a timeframe but perhaps you could try one or two of the things I have mentioned and see if they help. I know you are sacrificing your sleep to do these things but I believe if you do them routinely you will find a much more peaceful nights rest. I will be praying for you and may God Bless you C.! Have a wonderful day!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My 2 1/2 yo did this when he made it out of the crib. I was in the same place you are. Would he climb the stair gate? We were worried that ours would find his way over. I called my pediatrician in tears because I was so tired. She told me to either put a gate in the hall that he couldn't get over (he knocked it down) or lock him in and ferberize him again. For Ferber method, you can check on him every 15 min, then 10 min, then 5, until you just don't go back in. I found going in just made him worse, so I locked him in and just let him cry. It was very hard to do, but it only took about 40 min the first night, 20 the second, 5 the third, and then he just went to sleep on his own. If he woke in the night, I would check on him, reassure him, and do the whole process over again. A year later, he still won't sleep in his bed, but insists that we lock him in. Having another child in the room is tough, so I guess it depends on how deep a sleeper his brother is. you could also just leave him at the gate, say "its night time, go back to your room" and go back to your room. If he sleeps by the gate, so be it. If you watch Super Nanny, she tells the parents to tell the child, "its' night time" and put him back to bed the first time, the second time, "bed" and take them back, the third time on, just take them back to bed. I tried this and found it exhausting after the 100th time, but maybe it will work for you. The other thing I did for my 4 yo, who quickly got into the habit of climbing in our bed, I put a blanket on the floor and if it was after 3A, I let her sleep on the floor. After a while it wasn't that comfortable and she stopped coming in. You could also try a reward chart for every night he doesn't come out of his room. Good luck. this will pass.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it's certainly complicated by having another child in there that you're trying to let sleep! it seems to me as if the first thing you need to decide is if you need to do this quickly, or whether keeping the sleeping kid's sleep intact, is the most urgent matter. if it's making sure the good sleeper isn't disrupted, it may take a little longer but be worth it in the long run. at 2 children can understand simple straightforward explanations. tell him before you put them to bed that night time is for sleeping and he may not get up. if he does, take him immediately and silently back to bed, sit silently with him, and go as soon as he dozes. the most important thing is not to interact with him in any way. if he wakes and freaks out you'll probably have to repeat it, but this way you are both keeping the quiet for the sleeping boy, and showing the awake one that this is not fun time. you also want to get him to the point where you don't have to sneak out, which may mean spending some time leaving while he's drowsy and having to repeat. this is exhausting, especially when you're already so sleep-deprived, but might ultimately mean you spend less time in this frustrating phase. i'm so sorry! sleep deprivation is no joke. good luck.
khairete
S.

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I have been there! My 2 1/2 y/o twins started doing the same thing when we took them out of their cribs into toddler beds at Christmastime (at 2 yrs 4 mo). We never had them waking us up before that. Mostly it has just been 1 son, who started crying loudly in the middle of the night around 4 and would need me to tuck him back in w/ this being repeated sometimes 3 times a night. I would just quietly pick him up, tuck him back in w/out saying a word except occasionally to tell him he knows how to put his blankets on (which is what he is asking). Well, 3 months later, at least half of the time he sleeps through the night, and if he does wake up once around 4-5, but he no longer cries, just comes quietly into to my side of the bed (of course my hubby never hears them), and if I pretend to be asleep, sometimes he will actually go back to bed on his own; if not I quietly take him and tuck him in w/out saying a word. It should get better soon, I think it is just a phase they go through, but it gets really ugly if one boy wakes up the other!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

maybe two year molars??

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

I don't have any sleep answers - my 18 mo is not a good sleeper either. Just wanted to chime in on the sound machine - a radio set to static with a low volume is a much cheaper fix and works like a charm. Save yourself some $!

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D.P.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! That's been going on at our house for about two weeks now! K is about the same age as your sons and he had been doing great sleeping through the night. I was up from 1:30 to 3:00 this morning. The first time he got up, he was thirsty (I had left a sippy of water on his bed with him) so I had to take him back in there and show him his water. Then he came in about 20 minutes later, and we put him in bed with us...he flipped and flopped. Then I finally got him back in his bed and had to lay next to him for about 30 minutes before he fell asleep so that I could go to sleep! It's so frustrating!!!

We're not potty trained here. I'm waiting for him to be moved to the next class at daycare where they will potty train him during the day and we can work with him in the evenings and on the weekends.

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R.R.

answers from Norfolk on

I was at my wits end as each of my children would get up at different times during the night and I was getting about two hours of sleep.

I sat them down and told them Mommy is tired. Mommy needs sleep or Mommy gets grumpy and cannot stay "big and strong". I told them at bed time, I do not want anyone to wake me up unless it is an emergency and need the Police or Firetruck. I made sure they each had a story, and got to cuddle for a 1/2 hour before lights out. I missed a lot of my evening routine, but it was worth it, both for them and for myself.

Believe it or not, it worked.... can't hurt to try.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

He's probably just now 'realizing' that he has more independence since there is no crib. I recommend putting a gate on his door (and the top of the stairs). When he wakes up, if you want to console him, tell him you will sit in his room for five minutes. Then tell him you are leaving. If he cries (but doesn't wake up his brother), I would let him cry. If he does wake him up, consider moving him to another bedroom (if you have one) or your bed.

My 2.5 year old daughter is just now starting to sleep better...

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