Son Getting Out of Bed

Yes, we go through this and you are doing the right thing. Keep taking him back to his bed but offer no communication with him each time. Just keep taking him back. I've seen this technique used on Supernanny and you just need to keep taking him back no matter how many times he comes out. It's a game for children...one they will grow tired of playing because they are not getting any interaction from mommy and daddy. Keep at it...he'll stay put eventually.

Hi D. - I completely understand your problem. My now three year old still gets up from her big girl bed and will walk to her door to tell me she "needs" something. We put a baby gate in front of her door, partly to keep her in and our cats out, but also because we ere afraid she would climb the stairs to the bonus room or fall in the middle of the night. When she does get up, we just put her back into bed, tell her it's bedtime and I let her know that I will check on her.

Good luck!

I experienced this with my first, 14 years ago. Since then, with the three kids that have followed, we installed the Tall White Metal baby gates. The best are the ones made by Summer Infant. They are unclimbable. You just tighten it to fit the door frame. This allows you to hear whats going on and for the child to not be afraid if you were to shut the door. Initially, they will jump out of bed and run to the door crying, this is just drama to get you to come in and "rescue" them. Simply walk back in, put the child in bed and say, It's bed time sweetie. The second time, Walk back in, put the child in bed and say, you need to go to bed. please stay in your bed
The third time, walk in, calmly say, No, bedtime. The fourth time, put them in bed without saying a word and close the door. They will learn that if they stay in bed, the door stays open, but either way, you will leave and they are required to stay there. The child might stand at the gate and shake it crying for a little bit the first few nights and might even fall asleep on the floor. The important thing to remember is your intelligent child is trying to see if different behavior might change the situation. They can NEVER win. If crying and drama for hours ends in positive results for your child, the next night he will feel like he needs to do this again and again and when you finally decide to not give in, you will have a genuinely upset, frustrated child because his plan isn't working which will cause him to be hysterical and you to break down your self with guilt. It is always better to decide your rules and stick to them no matter what. This build strong confidant kids who can count on positive boundaries. I leave the gates up until my kids reach about 3 1/2. Or when they are old enough to go potty in the night on their own and return to their own beds. PS. Saturday mornings are so nice now. We have a rule, you can get up and potty, I hand her a sippy cup of ice water and some dry cherrios and she had to play in her room until we get up. She quietly plays dollhouse or with her other toys in the morning for hours. It's wonderful. This being said after 14 years of being forced to get up early every day for children. The gate is also a great way to make sure a napping child stays napping while you shower or garden. You can often find the gates on craigslist for half price.

Sounds to me like you are doing just what you should.
Walk him back. Keep the "reward" for getting up to zero (don't make a big deal, not extra time attention and hugs, etc). Over time he will "get it" and just stay in bed. But stay vigilant about walking him back each and every time. Having him walk himself is awesome... never carry him.

PLEAAAAAAAAAASE HELP WITH THIS ISSUE TOO... my situation is worse, he wakes up and CRIESSSSS and wakes up his sister, i do not know what to do!!

baby gate or dutch door

I agree with Victoria- make sure there is zero reward for coming out of his room. No extra hug, no carrying him back to his bed, not even a kiss- do not even say a word to him. When you leave his room when you tuck him in, remind him that he needs to stay in his bed. When he comes out, resist sayiing ANYTHING to him-- don't even say, "You need to go back to your bed." Just walk him back to bed and walk back out.

Also, one more thing you can try that worked with my 10 year old when he was a toddler---- after you tuck him in, tell him you have to go do (___something boring like laundry or dishes___) and leave the room. Go back in after just a couple of minutes since he will be laying there waiting for you to come back like you said you would. Let him know he did a good job staying in his bed and then say good night for good. It gives a bit of transition to let him know that you really are just outside the door and not abandoning him.... Then if he gets out of bed you can follow paragraph #1 above!

Let's take a step back. Do you have a set bedtime ritual? If so, keep it up, and be very consistent about the time, what comes first, second third etc. My ritual with my kids was 1)room cleanup 2) bath 3) brush teeth 4) books 5) bed. During the ritual continue to mention the next steps and that finally he will be in bed and is expected to stay there. Remaining calm when he continues to get up is difficult, I know, but that is very important. Have the same ritual every night so he knows what to expect, reminding him of his job to stay in bed. When he does come out, do not speak to him, just take him by the hand and lead him back to his bed. I used to tell my daughter - "Go ahead, keep getting up. I can do this all night long." - after about the third or fourth time. Once they realize that you are stronger and can outlast them, GAME OVER. He will give up. I know you are tired, but staying firm and strong now will pay off for you in the long run.

My daughter did that too. You have a few options. You can either continue simply walking him back to bed and eventually he will quit. Our daughter cried so much though that we tried a different technique. We finish our routine (three books, three songs) and I tell her daddy will leave and I will stay. Then after about 30 seconds I tell her I have to go potty but I'll be right back. So I leave and then come back. I tell her I'm there, I stay for about 30 seconds, then I tell her that I have to go help daddy (or sit with daddy, or whatever) for a few minutes and that I'll be back. I return. I tell her I'm back, wait about 30 seconds, then think of something else and tell her I'll come back. I do come back, I tell her "Mama's here" and I'm there for about 30 seconds before there is a reason to leave again. This has worked very well for us, and she's still putting herself to sleep, since I'm not sitting there with her. She often fusses during the first absence, when I have to pee, but when I come back she's fine immediately and she trusts me. Don't lie; always come back, and then as he gets used to the routine you can make the time away longer, but always come back if you say you will, until he is asleep. This is one method, and it worked for us. Good luck.

This is just a part of his freedom from his crib and is expected. My son is two and still on occasion gets out of bed. Just keep doing what you are doing. He will get the point and eventually stay in bed. We have put one of the child proof handles on the inside of our son's door (he would climb over a gate) so if we close the door he can't come out. He will stand at the door and holler and yell but after ignoring him he goes back to bed and goes right to sleep. But when we first put him to bed we leave the door open and tell him if he gets out of bed we will close the door. It has taken a couple of times shutting the door consistently when he gets out of bed for him to understand we mean business, now he just lays there and goes right to sleep. You could try a gate in his doorway and if he gets out of bed and goes to the gate, ignore him, he will get the point that you are not coming (which is what he wants) and will go back to bed. Being consistent is key!!!

HI D.,

My daughter did this too. Only, she got creative and stopped waking me up. She would bring her blankie and sleep on the floor beside my bed. She is 18 now --- when she came home from the hospital she was already sleeping through the night but suddenly at 2 she started getting up and coming into our room every night. She has not slept through the night since!

However, because we were consistent at putting her back in her room each time she woke us (or each time we found her asleep on our floor) she eventually learned to stay in her room. We could tell sometimes that she had been out of bed playing with her toys but she stayed in her room and eventually went back to sleep.

Good luck and be consistent!

My son did that too so I put a hook and eye lock on the outside of the door and he tries to open it for a few minutes then goes back to bed (of course lots of screaming too). I left only 1 toy in the room, a basket of the big lego blocks..and i told him that if he wakes up before the light comes through the window he can play with the blocks.
Good Luck