20 answers

Why Can't Us Women Be Happy About Ourselves?

Why we can't be happy with the way we look why women are always doing plastic surgery and other types of stuff to there bodies GOD made us the way we are that is what makes us us! Just wondering how others see this issue! I understand that some feel this will make them feel better about themselves but as long as you take care of yourself then why alter your body? If people would stop being so negative towards others maybe that would help peoples images as well. Again just wondering what others think. Thank you and God Bless!

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Just to clarify this has nothing to do with medical necessary surgeries for there health it is about the everyday oh I hate not having boobs or I hate the way my nose looks we need to stop worrying about what other people are going to think about us and the way we are going to look/dress etc. and just live and be happy life is way to short to always worry about our body image!

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I know for me, I am going to get a breast reduction some day. Not only am I in pain and that will fix it, but I KNOW I will feel better about myself. Is that vain, or being unhappy with myself? I truly don't think so. Could it seem totally unnecessary to you and like I'm altering my perfect body...sure. To me, my body is physically painful, out of proportion, and very very difficult to find clothing to cover it. I feel fine about myself now and feel attractive, but I don't see anything wrong withe feeling better. I'm guessing, that you exercise, eat right, or do something to stay in shape. Does your body change from that? Then you altered it. Did you feel better from the change? Do you wear makeup, dye your hair, wear a push up bra, body shaping undergarments, or use treatments on your skin? If you do any of those, there is some reason you want to look DIFFERENT (and not in the natural state God created you) to the world. All of those things alter your natural state, but you feel better. We ALL alter our physical selves, in different ways. I do understand what your saying and agree to an extent, but what you saying is not as simple as you make it. You are taking a very complicated part of a woman's psyche and putting into easy and simplified solutions. Unless you don't do a single thing to alter the way your physical body looks, then you can understand WHY some woman make changes. Something may seem very extreme to you, but in principal, it's no different then other alterations to the body. It's a very interesting discussion and I think the key is...every single on of us changes and alters how God made us.

PS. I DO hate my breasts and I can't wait to love them!

6 moms found this helpful

Just because someone has a procedure doesn't mean they're not happy with themselves.

I get my hair highlighted, go shopping for clothing that I perceive to be pretty, and get a regular manicure, pedicure and waxing. Some people get tattoos, piercings, etc. There are many ways women can choose to express themselves. Those are all alterations to what God has provided, yet they often don't come from a place of woeful depression.

Until you have to walk a mile in another womans' shoes, you never know how she feels or what she's experienced or why she's chosen to modify her physical appearance.

Judging women for getting plastic surgery, assuming that they're "not being happy" is just as bad as being negative toward others and their image.

5 moms found this helpful

Well said, S.!
I'm sure this isn't true for ALL women that alter their bodies, but I really think that happiness comes from inside and a sense of confidence and self esteem. When those are "missing" people think that XYZ will surely help how I feel about myself...often it doesn't. That's sad.
I'm 46 and it took me a long time to be completely comfortable in my own skin--flaws and all!

5 moms found this helpful

It is an active choice; whether or not we choose to accept who we are. For some women, having the plastic surgery changes their life in a positive way. For others it is simply the next "if only I had...". Either way, it is an active choice made by women, just as it is an active choice to not judge, or choose a positive attitude, or to choose to quite (or start) a vice. I am more concerned with whether or not people choose to be accountable for their choices than just the choices they make.

Do not paint a shade of victimization over women who have plastic surgery. They are simply making a choice in the hopes that they find their happiness. Some do, some do not. I have yet to meet anyone who is completely happy with every componant of their selves or their lives. I have a lot of respect for those who make active choices about what they do to make the changes they want over those who sit back and lament about their situation and do nothing to change it.

With that said, I understand what you are saying. Our society can be very judgmental and negative. Some people never learned to think and choose for themselves and try their best to fit in to what they believe the societal norms are. That is a very human thing to do. The choice of how to respond to that is individual. How will you actively choose to address it?

4 moms found this helpful

i just posted this exact same thing on cafe mom, as well as photos of women through out history that are supposed to be the definition of beauty (eve, venus, cleopatra, marilyn monroe, etc) and how they are NOT considered thin and beautiful by todays standards.

honestly, i dont know why we are like this other then the media. i am someone who is always saying dont fall pray to the media, etc etc etc. but i HATE how i look. too the point that i will look myself in the house for days because i am embarrassed to be seen in public. am i horrible? no. i stay relatively fit. im about 5'7 and 133 lbs. i take good care of my hair and body. but i am not "beautiful" by modern standards, and therefore, in my own messed up mind, i view myself as ugly and i feel embarrassed that i cannot hold up to celebrities and models.

why do i feel like that? i have no idea.

4 moms found this helpful

I totally agree with you. But it is hard when our society pummels us with images of "beauty" and "sexuality" from day one. The are constantly bombarded with messages that say we are not good enough until we try product xyz.
Personally I do what I can to take care of myself. I try to eat right, exercise, and do the things that make me feel good. I wear what I wear because I like how i feel in it. I don't give a hoot what anyone but my husband thinks of how I look. When I have looked at my flabby-stretched-mark-certainly-a-mother belly I have had the thought, "a tummy tuck will take care of this." But then I think, "that's a lot of money I'd rather spend on something else." But most importantly plastic surgery is still surgery. There is no such thing as minor surgery. I couldn't risk even the thought that I go in for a completely unnecessary surgery and leave my girls without a mom. Can you imagine them growing up having to tell people, "mommy didn't make it through her surgery to make her boobs perky again." HA! I think we all have a little bit of vanity in us, but mine will never go that far.
Besides, if I have a good image of myself and think I am good enough the way I am, I am much more likely to be able to instill the same into my impressionable little girls.

3 moms found this helpful

For myself, the same reasons I wear clothes in public, even when it's 100 degrees out, and I also shave and wax and wear deodorant. Cultural convention.

While I've never had plastic surgery, I'd take it gladly over corsets/ powdered wigs/ breaking my feet to make them smaller/ neckrings/ female (or male) circumcision/10,000 other things men and women have done for the sake of being considered attractive over the past few millennia.

I DO get what you're saying, quite deeply ...however... in solace, it's not a new thing. People have been altering themselves for thousands of years.

3 moms found this helpful

Could you be being "negative towards others" yourself? I think people have to do what makes them feel better about themselves. I don't understand body piercing and tattos and, although I probably wouldn't do it myself, I can understand some cosmetic procedures. I've never really liked my nose but other people like it so maybe I'm being too self critical. As far as taking care of your body goes, I believe that taking care of my body means staying healthy by eating right and exercising. For me, that's a challenge but one I try to stick with. For those we love, we want them to live long, healthy and happy lives. If they are too skinny or too fat, we may share our worry with them about the health effects of either extreme. God "created us in his image" which I believe means that we are to strive to do what is good. How we look and who we are, as individuals, is up to us. God bless.
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