Do Other Women Feel This Way?

Not at all! That is just strange.

I do, however find the word "retarded" in one of the posts offensive when used to describe then momentary stupidity of someone who functions in the typical range of cognative ablity. Please teach your children (and yourselves) to respect those families who have mentaly retarded members and do not use this heartbreaking slur. If you had ever sat accross the desk from the evaluator who had to tell you that your child scored in the mentally retarded range of mental processing, you would understand, and I would appreciate never reading that again on this site! Thanks!

M.

14 moms found this helpful

Wow, this is truly bizarre. No, no one is offended by lack of make-up. That's like saying that you're offended by someone not wearing designer clothes. A person does not have to BUY and USE something materialistic in order to AVOID offending others. That's just rubbish from top to bottom!

Is someone going to say "I'm offended that you don't color your hair blonde."? No. Is someone going to say "I'm offended that you don't wear blue skirts."? No. It's patently ridiculous. She sounds like she's either a completely psycho snob, or she's just an idiot that doesn't know how to express herself properly. In either case, she shouldn't have been responding to a sincere compliment with criticism. I don't think Miss Manners would like that at all!

Next time, try telling her that you never would have guessed that she was so racist.... when she asks what you mean tell her that being offended by the color of your face (i.e. lacking in extra colors) makes her racist. Leave it at that. I bet it flusters her so badly that she'll never talk to anyone like that again.

BTW, I don't believe this is racist, of course. It's fighting ridiculousness with ridiculousness (fire with fire).

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I think that woman is crazy. I do wear make-up, but the idea that I would be "offended" by someone not wearing make-up is insane. Especially after you paid her a compliment. I can't get over this!

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I don't feel "offended" per say if someone doesn't wear make up. I think it's expected that a professional woman would wear makeup. I'm a housewife (Yes Holly Dolly, I'm the one that doesn't have the perfect clothes for my body and doesn't always have full make up on. I suggest you seriously stop judging) and I don't wear make up every day. If I'm running to the grocery or something I do swipe on a little mascara. I have light eyelashes and I hate the way my eyes look w/o it. But, that's just for ME to feel comfortable. I don't really give a rip if someone doesn't think I'm pretty with out makeup. I'm not trying to impress them. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Honestly, I'm the type that would go into work with clown makeup on and ask if that was less offensive.

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I find that woman's comments outrageous and very offensive. geesh. I have just started to feel comfortable out of make-up. Working at a yoga studio, I see evidence everyday that health is beauty. More and more I am seeing that make-up is just a mask we have been fooled into wearing because we have been made insecure by our media and mixed up cultural values. I'm not sure what I would've said to this woman. I wonder why she feels so strongly. Maybe she wishes she had the confidence and natural beauty that you have. It's like "The Emperor's New Clothes" story; just by choosing not to wear make-up you are revealing the lie that she is living. Have you read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf? Maybe you should give your co-worker a copy.
One more thing, phrases like "the rest of us" show how even she feels her statement is bullsh*t so she's trying to back it up with unnamed others to bully you. Best of luck to you.

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People generally criticize in others what they would judge in themselves (were they willing to question themselves) as unworthy, inadequate, absurd, or otherwise lacking. I'd let it go.

Most cosmetics are unhealthy, seriously overpriced, pander to our insecurities, and take up too much precious time. Too much makeup is far less flattering (and far harder to look at) than no makeup. I'm not knocking makeup; I do use a little when I go out because I'm very pale, but as long as a person is well-groomed and appropriately dressed, makeup is simply not a requirement to look acceptable.

I've known lots of women in business, academia, politics, and other public positions who go au naturale, and have never heard anybody question it.

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Um...no. WTH is her deal? I would ask her WHY she felt it was offensive, and more to the point, why she felt the need to speak on behalf of the 'rest of us'.

Personally, I think that anyone that matches their eye shadow to the suit and bag looks absolutely ridiculous. Waaaay to matchy matchy and trying waaay to hard. And to me, THAT looks offensive (I do full makeup and hair everyday, by the way. Just for frame of reference.)

Seriously, time to call her out and see what her problem is. maybe she's just jealous that she's can't get away with no makeup.

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What is this - 1950? She was offended by your lack of makeup? Omg, I have offended people for decades because I rarely wear lipstick! I just don't even know what to say because what that woman said is just ridiculous. I don't think I have ever given a second thought to whether anyone is wearing makeup or not. Maybe she is jealous that you look as good as you do and don't feel you need the makeup. As for a previous poster - I have been on the receiving end of smiling and staring men while wearing no makeup, sweats, and even a bandana. Many times, it is not the artificial decor, but the confidence in a woman.

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Wow. Just wow. It offends her that you don't wear makeup? I cannot imagine anyone actually being offended by someone not wearing makeup let alone actually saying something about it! Seriously- she has nothing more important to think about? How embarassing for her.

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I'm offended that she wears matching eye shadow and earrings! Not really - but sheesh, who has time to be that superficial and mean (generalizing of course). She sounds like she's still in high school.

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ONLY IMMATURE BUSY BODIES WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO THINK ABOUT! just my opinion.

What say you mama's? I would like to know myself because that sounds so silly to me to be offended (judge) by someone else's preference.

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Short and sweet.....I couldn't care less whether you wear lipstick or not! I NEVER do, my lips are full and if I do put lipstick on them my husband gets the wrong idea! lol

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I have to say I've never come across that attitude before. If anything, there were a few women in the building who could have doubled for Mimi (off the Drew Carey Show), but never was anyone offended or upset by someone NOT wearing make-up. Perfumes and colognes in our building at one point were practically lethal. There were people (some men, too) who smelled like they dumped the bottle on themselves every morning. Personally I think they liked having the elevator to themselves. They never had to share because being in any close space with them would make eyes water, and several people broke out in rashes from other peoples perfumes. Eventually HR got people to tone it down - it was becoming a work environment air quality issue.

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Wow, what a rude woman! She must be very immature, superficial, or both to have made such a thoughtless comment. I have worked with and known women that wear makeup and also those that don't wear any at all. I may have thought something like "hmm, I wonder why she doesn't wear makeup?" or "I bet some mascara would really bring out her eyes" but I would never consider it 'offensive'. That's just ridiculous. I say KUDOS to you for embracing your natural beauty!! You sound like you are well manicured and dress very professionally. Granted, wearing a little makeup can help certain women to look more polished in a professional setting, but unless there is some sort of office dress code requiring you to wear makeup then I wouldn't worry about it.

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OMG what a snob.
Just ignore her.
She is just reflecting her myopic mainstream cookie cutter "boring" perspective on life.
How droll.

Make up or not, is not a big deal.
You look professional and know how to dress professionally and are well groomed. Good for you.

Oh and oops... she told YOU this... her Office Manager! oops! What a gaff in manners.

all the best,
Susan

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Just adding my two cents, since you've gotten a ton of responses...

REAL women--women who are comfortable in their own skin and confident in who and what they are--couldn't care less if you wear makeup or not. If you get your job done, that's all that counts. The fact that this PERSON had the audacity to actually say that to you says to me that she is NOT comfortable with herself, NOT confident and thus, by definition, NOT a woman. Truly, her comments are on par with what the high school freshmen girls I teach say about each other!

My mother-in-law always says, "Your opinion of me is none of my business." I think that may apply in your situation. Hang tough, sister! She's not even worth your time.

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No, not wearing any makeup doesn't offend me. Why would it offend anyone? I wear a lot of makeup, but when I see someone with none on I just think that they are rockin' their natural beauty. =)

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Offended? Hardly.
I might think it was a little odd. Most of the "put together" women out there that I know DO wear a LITTLE something... but I would NOT be "offended" in the least. I would imagine that she is uncomfortable for some reason, but wasn't able to concisely express her discomfort, and the word "offended" came out of her mouth. Probably, she is not comfortable going without makeup and so she imagines you are trying to make some sort of "statement" by not wearing any). Probably a more honest word for her to have used would have been "jealous". lol

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It's a personal preference. Some women are naturally beautiful and don't NEED makeup. If you feel comfortable being the way God made you, then by golly, go without!

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That's just weird that she feels offended. Sometimes when a woman doesn't wear make-up I think to myself how she could look better if she did, but you can do whatever you want! That's just very strange that she feels offended. I've never heard such a thing.

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Ppl just need to mind their own business. That is YOUR choice not to wear makeup. It doesn't make you any less professional because you don't. Like the others said SHE IS JEALOUS!!! You do what makes YOU happy and don't let ppl like that get you down. That to me is just pety. I only wear eyeliner and nothing more. The last time that I wore makeup was 7 years ago when I got married. Ppl who wear so much makeup that you can carve your name into and wear perfume that you can actual taste is just gross. Always remember.... "Less is More"

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No. That was really, really mean of her. I think it is terrific that you have the confidence to wear what God gave you! I have never heard of anyone being offended by a woman who does not wear make-up. She is probably jealous because you look good without it, and she does not have the self confidence you do and could never imagine herself being confident enough to pull it off!

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I wasn't going to respond because there were already 82!! responses, but I felt a need to speak up to those that think people look "better" with make-up. People without makeup who look tired, may be tired! Make-up wasn't for women to feel good about themselves. It's for men who think that women should look a different way. Which is why women who wear make-up may get promoted more often. It may be true but it is wrong. People should do what makes them feel comfortable, whether it's to show your natural beauty or to wear make-up. And that being said, I will no longer laugh to myself at people who have "overdone" make-up, because if they feel better wearing make-up that way, more power to them.

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Heck no! That woman is offensive and rude. Who cares if you don't wear makeup? You're not there for a fashion show, you're there to work. If she has a problem with it, it's her problem, not yours. You handled it perfectly.

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That thought is utterly ridiculous and I'd bet a paycheck that NO ONE agrees with her.

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Because lipstick is gross and full of chemicals! I'm 48 years old and have never worn lipstick in my life! I did not model but am a nurse and quite frankly have never had a patient or family member mention I'd take care of them better with a bit of make up.
I think her attitude is offensive!

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That's one of the MOST bizarre things I've heard! I think she must be incredibly insecure, and the fact that you don't have to wear makeup to look good makes her feel horrible because she's obviously REALLY into the whole thing. I wear makeup every day to work and a lot of times on the weekend, but I don't care who else does or doesn't! WEIRD!

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Any and everything can offend people. And being in the workplace, things are no different.

Ignore her.

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If she's offended there's something wrong with her. You sound very professional, and life is about more than the way we 'look'. It sounds as though you use your brain very effectivly. Feel very proud of yourself for choosing your own beautiful face to put out there to the world. It's what's on the inside that counts, right?

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Ok, I have some very attractive girl friends and most of them may wear mascara at the most! Also, have your co-worker take a trip to Manhattan and she will see all the beautiful and very stylish people that have NO make-up on. If your co-worker ever questions why you are not wearing make-up again, then politely ask her why because you don't have anything that needs covering up or hiding.
Have a great one!

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ROFL...

Okay, so I read an 1800's commercial for makeup YEARS ago, and it still sticks in my head:

"Makeup: Makes plain girls pretty, and pretty girls BEAUTIFUL."

My suspicion is that what anyone who is offended is offended ABOUT is that you don't *have* to wear makeup to be pretty/beautiful, whereas most of us do. So she feels all insecure, because you look so good without, you don't need the crutch. You having some kind of obvious crutch she THINKS would make her feel "better". (Unlikely, if you went to the 9's she'd probably find out she's green with envy).

I used to model as well. I was in the teeeeeensy minority who really dug the makeup (most models I know *hate* makeup). I have good structure, but unless I'm very tan, I have absolutely schtupid skin. It's uneven in color and casts the "wrong" shadows because my cheekbones are so high. So I have really big eyes, but they look small, blah blah blah. Put makeup on though and I look like a completely different person. Kind of like the whole Seinfield "twoface" episode. ((I'm also one of the few girls who would go to looksees with makeup on -not a lot, just enough so that my skin was even-... because with it I'd get jobs -and berated for not coming in "fresh"... but I'd get the job))

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I'm really surprised by some of the answers here. I work in an office, and when I am there, we have a really relaxed dress code. I can wear jeans and flip flops without a problem, but when I go to a client, I dress according to their dress code. I don't wear makeup at either location. I think that I am "pretty enough" without it, I just don't know how to apply it, and have never given it any effort. I think I look professional/presentable without it. I do laugh at those people that won't leave their house without it though. Even if you use it to assist you, you should be comfortable with how you look without it.

As far as the clothes, I understand the comments from those that put effort to look nice and there are those wearing sweats, but I think that dress codes are there for that reason. I don't think I have ever seen a dresscode that requires make up.

Update - I meant to say that I DON'T think that I am "pretty enough" without it - I just don't wear it.

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Well, I wanted to respond....but I need to reapply my lipstick first. :) REALLY.....Oh please, hope you are able to find the humor in that woman's lack of tact!

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The same has happened to me. I simply asked, "is makeup a requirement of me doing my job well?" When they said, "well no, of course not but it is more professional to wear makeup", my response was, "I believe I am very professional. My clients and my team see me as professional. My performance personifies professionalism. When me not wearing makeup affects my performance, please let me know." She never asked me again.

I have since started my own company empowering women to stand in their power and I encourage them NOT to wear makeup so that we can see the "real" person.

Please stand in your power. Stand in your truth. Know who you are and "work it".

B.
Family Success Coach

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i would hope that most women dont feel like this. I am very sensitive to makeup and the sensitive make up is more expensive and id rather just not wear any. If i do my eyes look like i just smoked some pot and they burn and give me a headache. I think she is just a snooty gal who i would totally ignore.

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No way. Very rude of her. She obviously feels the need to wear make-up but that doesn't mean all other women need to also. And who is this "us" she is talking about. Because I hope she's not including all women in that statement. Don't let it get to you I'm sure you look great!

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Offended, no. I rarely wear make up. Unless it is a special occaision. I do notice it when other woman dont, and I know I am a rarity. I just cant be bothered. But, the rest of me is a mess too.

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No. Wow. That's bizarre.

How rude of her, after you gave her such a nice compliment. She just sounds like a piece of work. And insecure, at that.

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I don't feel that way at all. I've always been a working mom in a very professional industry, but I've always had to dress to my customers (rural physician's offices).

I like to look nice, but I honestly believe some women are so naturally beautiful, they don't need to wear make-up.

I have bad acne as an adult, so I always have powder and blush and some mascara. I NEVER wear lipstick. I just don't like it, and I've never been told I don't look professional.

Sorry you had to experience someone being so caddy when you were trying to give an honest compliment. I actually prefer being around people who are comfortable in their skin (make-up or not) and don't feel like they have to put on a show for the rest of us.

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You already have tons of responses, but I wanted to add anyways...
I am 29 and do not wear makeup on a regular basis. None! Unless you count chapstick and moisturizer/sunblock. It's just not something that has ever been important to me--even in my "younger" days. However, I work in the science field (in a lab), so I'm not faced with clients or customers at all. Not that that matters. In fact, I'd say that I'm more "weirded out" by the ladies who wear tons of makeup--even though they work check-out at walmart or drive through at McDonalds... :) Many of my coworkers are the same, so nobody would ever say something to me. As my mom would say, "you go girl!" Don't give her rude comments another thought!

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I LOVE this question! And, the 10 or so responses (of the 80+ responses) I have already read. It is so silly. I live in a neighborhood where it is half working moms and half Stepford moms - not moms who stay at home, but Stepford "everything-has-to-appear-perfect" moms. I work from home & like every other mom out there, I am uber-busy! If I get mascara on before everyone wakes up, great, if not, there is always tomorrow. My day is not more or less spectacular because of the masacara. Over the last few years, I have gained some weight, moeny has been super tight, and I find I am wearing the same two or three outfits over and over again. I am not feeling good about this; it, coupled with a few other things, has made me really sad. And that sadness does not help the overall situation. Recently, several of us were at an event together, and we all looked great. One mom commented about the other moms who ALWAYS look great, 24 hours a day. How she just really looks up to them for this. I wasn't included in the moms who always look great group. It made me think for a second. Yes, I need to take charge of my health, not my make-up, and I don't want to be admired (by other women or especially by my daughters) because of my make-up. In that one moment, from her one comment (which wasn't meant to be negative toward anyone), I was reminded of who I really am and what I really offer to those around me, and that is what is important to me. I often tell my daughters that it is their smile & the love in their heart that I see when I look into their eyes, that brings out their true beauty. I am glad to read all the posts from women who have found their true beauty and share that with the rest of the world. Thanks for letting me share. Peace. PS No, I don't think women are offended by other women who don't wear make-up but look put together otherwise...like others posted, I think they might be a little jealous, because those women make it look so easy to be put together...!

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That sounds crazy to me. Why would it be ofensive??I wish I could go without makeup and be comfortable!!

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Absolutely not! The problem is with her, not you. You sound very professional, and she sounds like a whiny, insecure, show-off!
Please don't feel bad at all. I didn't take the time to read other responses, but I'm sure most will agree with me.
Keep up the good work!

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I didn't read all the responses but this woman is JEALOUS that you can get away with none. Eye shadow matching the suit? That's over the top anyway. I wear-up and can say with most certanty she is trying too hard. Good for you walking away and I would not think on it another minute. Your co-workers aren't saying this. She is speaking for them and I think if she feels she is offended then everyone else must be which isn't the case. Personally I am offeneded if someone is overly made up, it's like a mask and she is playing a character. I bet you have great skin, must make her NUTS!!!!

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Only if the person in question doesn't have any eyebrows without it. (Kidding, really, although I do find a lack of eyebrows to be overly disturbing, maybe because I saw The Wall when I was really little?)

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I think she is jealous because you probably look amazing with out it. I wear make up and have two girl friends who do not. I am never offended that they do not wear make up. I am just envious that at 36 and 42 they look so darn good with out it!

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i know you received a billion comments already, but i have been dealing with this issue since i was a little kid.
my older sister was very self absorbed, my younger sister had very low self esteem, both were jealous of me and both are narcissistic! i never wore makeup and still only wear it for fun (and only eyeliner, or mascara, and maybe lip gloss)
this problem definitely lies with her!
it is a conscious decision to be offended by something.
it sounds like she is jealous of you.
im sorry you have to deal with this!
good luck!

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The fact you don't need to hide behind a "mask" is obviously a scary place for this woman, I would just do what you want if you are happy the way you are, don't let her intimidate you into doing otherwise. I hardly wear make up, it basically doesn't suit me,I only wear mascara because I have fair lashes. I don't wear earings other that studs they make me look like a tart, if someone suggested I should I would just ignore them. Beauty can be natural its a fact, why spoil it? I would never be offended by anything anyone wore its their right to wear what they like as long as its not smelly and dirty! - its a free country after all! ;-P

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Ditto to what everyone else said! My mother who is 58 doesn't and has never worn makeup, I am 30 and have never worn makeup (not even to my wedding!) I am not offended by whether or not a woman wears makeup, the only situation I would even think about another woman's makeup or lack of is if a salesperson tried to sell me some and obviously wasn't wearing the product herself! Something else is going on with this woman and I doubt what she said was true for everyone in your office, just her for some very wierd reason.

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Wow! She's nuts! Offensive to not wear makeup? No. Baffling, perhaps to some. If she's saying that it's offensive, it's her issue, as in, "how dare you feel okay about yourself as you are. You're making the rest of us look bad, because now we look all insecure and neurotic, which we probably are!" That chic is crazy - she sounds like a joke from Sex in the City or the L Word. Maybe she sees it as a refusal to give in to peer pressure, and that you don't think of her as a peer. But guess what, it's not high school She should get over herself.

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I could care less if my co-workers wear makeup I think most do not and they are all very educated people. Why would she be offended or anyone else that you do not wear makeup as long as you are professional who cares unless you are a flight attendant where it is mandatory I believe you are dealing with petty office behavior and "mean girls".

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Just echoing what most of the mom's are saying. I can't imagine someone being so rude and kudos to you for not stooping to that level. Here in NJ she would be cursed out at the very least. I think she is jealous and insecure. I've often found that people who have to look down on others are really not comfortable with themselves. I wear nothing but lipstick. Unless I am going somewhere fancy and want to dress up, then I will do more. I've been blessed with skin that naturally looks like I am wearing makeup so just putting on lipstick will enhance that look. Whoopy for me I've never once thought that makes me any better or worse then anyone else. I assume you are probably a very beautiful women and so people who are not ok with themselves are probably very threatened by you. Just let it roll off of you and keep doing what you're doing. Believe it or not there is always going to be someone who doesn't like something about you no matter how put together you are. You might as well just be happy with who you are and ignore those people.

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Oh Please! This is one of the silliest stories I've ever heard! One woman taking offense because another doesn't wear make-up!!!!!!!!???????? Really, really strange. A lot of make-up hasn't been the fashion for many years-since the '80's is my recollection. In any event, who cares? You were right to laugh it off. Keep laughing it off.

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Women should support and celebrate one another instead of judging and ridiculing our choices while reinforcing an unnecessary obsession with outward appearances and what society thinks is beautiful. It is your choice to wear or not wear make-up. The other women probably feel uncomfortable with their own choices, the pressure they feel by men AND women to look a certain way and so they direct their issues on you. I do believe everyone should take care of themselves and maintain good hygiene. It's amazing what a little effort can do for one's self esteem which in turn affects how other people see/treat you. However, like you, I wear very little to no make up on a daily basis. And when I do, I try to keep it as natural looking as possible which then makes me wonder why I bother at all? Whatever, it's a choice. And as long as someone is doing the work, is presentable and professional, I have no problem with it. It's obviously going to continue to be a source of tension. I would try to address it head on by exploring why they feel "offended" and listen without judging. You all may learn something about each other and yourselves by sharing.

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I think you need to remain true to yourself. Don't let other people, no matter who they are, dictate what's right for you. I am sure you are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. Wearing makeup is a personal choice. God Bless.

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Sorry but that is just weird! I don't care whether or not the women I work with or my friends when we hang out wear make up or not.

I have friends who color their hair regularly and others who have let their greys grow out. I have friends who were lots of jewelry and others who wear little…..it must bug her. I don't know what her role is in the office but given that make up is important to her, she may have respect issues feeling you are not 'on her level' since you are not wearing make up . My take - she is clearly superficial and it's her loss. I seriously doubt the rest of the women in your office are 'offended' ( strange) about whether you wear make up or not. Now if you came to work wearing mini skirts and top opened low or t-shirts making derogatory remarks about women , there would be something to be offended by.

Hold your head up high and don't worry about a thing!

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I really don't give a care whether someone wears makeup or not. There are much more important things in this life. Maybe she's just jealous that she needs it and you dont? lol. I don't think most women care what another woman does to her personal appearance.

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i wish i had a good skin tone to be able to go without makeup....count yourself to be lucky at the age of 40 to have good skin!!!

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Hi MM,

It sounds to me like your co worker has a bad case of jealousy. I can't imagine that not wearing makeup would be offensive, especially since you are wearing appropriate clothing and are groomed well.

I'd just ignore her comment because it sounds like she is the one with the issue and is hiding behind "the rest of us" with her words.

If you modeled a lot before, I'm guessing that you are easier on the eyes than most, which can cause jealousy in others, particularly when they feel the need to dress up in a chic ensemble.

I wish you the best in the future at your workplace!

L.

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What??? Why would your not wearing lipstick offend anyone? That is the most ridiculous thing for your coworker to say to you. Your coworker is probably just jelous because you look great and feel confident without makeup. I prefer the natural look of a little lip gloss if even that. I wouldn't compliment her again.

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I am so sorry you were subject to such a ridiculous point of view. To be offended by your lack of lipstick is to take umbrage at something so trivial and unimportant that it's shocking (and it is trivial regardless of where you work). Not to mention that responding to a compliment with a criticism reflects pretty negatively on that person. Take heart, no one I know (personally or professionally) would spend a minute on your choice not to wear make-up.

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I am 42 and I have never really worn makeup. Once in a while I will wear mascara and usually something on my lips but that is it. On a day I decide to wear the mascara I get it out of my daughters makeup drawer. You are your own person and don't let them tell you what you should or shouldn't put on your face. Be strong and good luck.

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NO!!! This woman needs to get over herself. She's probably jealous that you can be so carefree and put together with little effort. Don't worry about her.

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That's just rediculous! LOL - Personally, I think she may be insecure cause she feels she HAS to dress to the 9's/full makeup, etc. She probably secretly envies women that don't feel the need to do that much. I barely wear makeup myself - Just the basics cause I look less tired and more put together, but I'm not a slave to makeup. Don't worry about it :)

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I've actually had the opposite experience - I wear a little makeup (foundation, eyeliner and mascara on my top lid only, and usually lipstick), and I've noticed that NONE of the other women I work with wear makeup at all (I'm in my late 30s and most of them are in their early to mid 50s). So looking at them, I feel like I'm wearing too much. I wish I could get away with not wearing any makeup, but my skin is too uneven and I just feel so unattractive if I'm not wearing at least foundation. It's ridiculous that someone would be offended that you don't wear makeup. Seriously, how does what you choose to put on your face affect her in any way?

I work in professional environments - I started out in public accounting and I work in the insurance industry now. So no, not all professional women wear make-up.

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That's just the most petty thing I think I have ever heard! Why in the world would it bother other women or men for someone else to wear or not wear make up? Girl, do not let this diva phase you! It sounds like she has some insecurities to me. It's different when you have a co worker who might have poor hygeine or might be in a professional environment and don't dress appropriately for the clients, etc. This make up thing is just not that important. Hold your head high and feel confident! I am sure you are beautiful! As for the notion that not wearing make up in "offensive" to others around you I say....GET A LIFE to them!

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wow.. not much more to say. I own makeup but almost never wear it. I don't wear to go to grocery store and I am sure I won't wear to go pick my kids up when they get old enough. I get flirted with, pregnant and all .. and guess what NO makeup. I think that this woman is just jealous that you are obviously more secure than she is. Your reaction clearly indicated that. hmpt.
Don't let some woman who NEEDS make-up as a security blanket bother you.

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Holy cow she is just one of those girls that can't go camping without makeup. Totally riduculous! How the double hockey sticks does it offend her? It should offend you that she feels that every women HAS to wear makeup. Uhh every hear of natural beauty chicka? Oh and I'm sure she isn't one of those nautal beauties. lol!

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I do not wear it. Maybe once in a while I will put it on and my son just looks at me funny. He says I look different and he does not like it. LOL!! I do not care what anyone thinks if I wear makeup or not. I am a grown women just like you. she was being snotty and mean when she said that. It seems like she has nothing better to do that to make someone feel bad. But thats your choice weather or not you let her make you feel that way.

I would keep doing what your doing and never mind her. I probably would not give her another compliment either.

good luck!

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No they don't this woman is obviously a b!tch. Stop worrying about what she thinks and I wouldn't compliment her again, what a rude, nasty woman! I think it's odd she would say it is offensive that you don't wear makeup.

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I think she used the wrong word. She didn't mean "offended". She meant "threatened". LOL

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Well I don't. I am not a clothes person, have no desire to look "put together" and I really don't get excited about clothes. I like an all natural look for myself. If anyone doesn't like it, tough!

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Just say, "Everyone who loves me tells me I don't need it - I'm just fine the way I am!"

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Hahaha! I think what this woman should have said (but she knew she would sound like an idiot) is "the fact that you don't wear makeup annoys me" because if she's is truly offended by your lack of makeup, she belongs in a nuthouse. Now I can see someone who spends 2 extra hours in the morning getting dressed and done up come to work and see that you obviously don't have to put that kind of time into your appearance--now that might annoy someone. But she should be annoyed at herself, not you! haha! Still can't believe someone would say such a bizarre thing.

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Wow! That was random!
Maybe she's just jealous that you dont "need" to wear makeup.

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I never thought that could offend someone! lol I myself do not wear makeup. I have worn it maybe 3 times in my life (I'm 26), and that was for special occasions where someone insisted (ie, being a bridesmaid lol). I am ok with my freckled face & do not see a need for makeup :)

If someone told me that my not wearing makeup offended them, I'd probably tell them that they are welcome to come over to my house every evening to do my household chores so I could go to sleep early, then buy the makeup & be there in the morning to get my daughter ready for me AND apply the makeup for me (as I don't even know how), since I don't have the money, the time, or the energy to do that every morning! hahaha

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I don't think so. It's just make up. I have make up but don't it all the time. I think some people hide behind their make up. If you look professional and do your job well, it shouldn't matter if you wear make up or not. I wouldn't worry about it.

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She's jealous! :-)
You don't wear makeup and you look great.
I don't wear makeup - unless I'm going somewhere really special.
I've had people ask me why I don't... I just tell 'em I'm too lazy. I know I look great with makeup, but I can't be bothered. I look just fine without it, you know?
YMMV
LBC

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Hello, I think "Miss Rude" is very jealous of how good you look without makeup. I wouldn't give it another thought. I never have worn makeup and I don't care how other people feel about it. One time a person I worked with (and didn't like much) made a comment about how she didn't like my hair the way I was wearing it that day. I told her, "Hum, I don't remember thinking, 'I wonder how _______ will like my hair today' when I fixed it this morning." She never gave me her opinion about my hair again. Also, a person shouldn't be offended by anything that isn't any of their business.
K. K.

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Some woman do feel this way, why who knows. But whether you were make up or not has nothing to do with any of the ladies at the office. I heard said a while back from one of my daughter's friends, maybe it will work in the office, she said Make Up was for ugly girls.lol J.

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Reports have shown that women who wear makeup at work earn 17% more and are more apt to be promoted. If 2 women are equally competent, the one wearing makeup (nicely) will be the one who gets the promotion. If you want, I'll give you the reasons stated. You're working in a professional environment and are not a SAHM there. You yourself said she asked you honestly so she was expressing her opinion. Your experience of being a model doesn't mean your makeup has to take that long. It takes me 5-10 minutes to wash/supplement my face, do makeup and hair and I'm a Mary Kay beauty consultant. I too, don't wear makeup unless others will see me, but it does make a big difference and first impressions really do make an impression on others. What's amazing in one book I read was the author got bank employees (who were opposed to this) to change the color/style of their clothes and production and business greatly increased. Why not take 5 minutes to apply makeup and see what happens?

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There are many good reasons to be offended in this day and time. Someone not wearing lipstick is NOT one of them. Jealous maybe, that you look good naturally while she has to put in all kinds of time and effort. But not offended. That's laughable.

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Wow - I haven't read any other responses, but I see that you have almost 90!

I have never, ever been offended by lack of makeup! I have never been offended by the wearing of makeup (but if it's overdone or sloppy I think it defeats the entire purpose).

Some women seem to feel that not wearing makeup is a sign that you don't "take care of yourself." I find this to be completely ridiculous - taking care of myself indicates hygiene, nutrition, exercise, mental and spiritual health, intellectual growth... a whole list of things, but absolutely not makeup! (Or expensive haircuts and designer shoes, but that's another story.) These women feel that it somehow reflects badly on them personally, and women everywhere, that YOU don't wear makeup. How shallow! I would hope that we all had more important things to worry about.

Don't feel the need to change because someone with no tact disapproves!!!

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What a beast that one is!! Who repays a compliment with an insult? To say that people are "offended" is way harsh. How is a coworkers lack of lipstick personally offensive?
I can sort of see why, if you are the office mgr, they might think they are being held to a higher standard than you. They might think it shows a lack of effort on your part? I know women hate when another women gets preferential treatment. But if the dress code doesn't require it, and they've never been given any negative feedback for not wearing makeup, then how does this affect them? Do they think it reflects poorly on them, or something? I volunteered my time to come work last saturday to get caught up and help out with the phones. I had my hair in a ponytail and no makeup on. I moved myself to a back office that doesn't see the public. My boss had the nerve to tell me not to come to his office looking like I just crawled out of bed again! He took my appearnace as an offense because 1st of all , he's a jerk, but also because it reflects poorly on him.
I am maybe the least made up of all the girls I work with. I have a light hand and don't reapply all day like they do. I don't think the girls treat me differently, but my male boss definitely does. The thing that aggravates me is they make a big deal when I do a little extra.

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MM, I don't think I've ever seen this many posts on a thread for Mamasource before. I haven't read any of the other responses, but I did read your 'what happened'. Of course I don't know this woman, but your description of her makes me think that she is jealous of you because you have the job she wants (or you are over her) even though she dolls herself up every day. She may think that 'looking the part' is what gets the position. You are the proof in the pudding in your company that COMPETENCE is what gets the position. When she says "the rest of us", don't believe it for a minute. If your lack of make-up is being talked around, she's the one doing it.

As a former model, you are probably lovely. Some women are hideous without make-up and need it. She probably resents the fact that you can go without it and still be lovely.

I hope you'll never compliment her again on her appearance, MM. She used your thoughtfulness to be nasty to you. If you are her superior, her attitude should speak volumes to you.

All my best,
D.

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Absolutely not. If they do, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am a CPA and have to dress professional and look professional at work and never wear lipstick. I wear makeup because I enjoy it, however, it's for myself and not others. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. As long as you're doing your job and you maintain a professional presence, that's all that matters!! Good luck!

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What a B&*$#! It sounds like she is probably jealous that you look good without it and may even be intimidated by it. It probably scares her that you don't feel the need to look the way she does. I've found some other moms at my sons school are the same way. It used to bother me that they acted so superior, but then I realized that deep down that they felt they HAD to look and act a certain way and couldn't understand why I didn't feel the same way. I found out later that they werent as put together and perfect as they seemed (think Bree on Desperate Housewives), and a few even envied my carefree attitude.

So, (long story short) if you like the way you look and feel, then don't give it another thought. Chances are everyone else at the company likes you better than her anyway.

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Ask her why SHE wears makeup... what does she have to hide? Sounds like she's a bit jealous that you can go au naturale while she's hiding behind an inch of fake-up. That was exceptionally rude of her to even bring it up.

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Reminds me of the time I ran into an old friend from church that I hadn't seen in years. We talked a bit about our kids and made small talk, and I mentioned that I liked her hair. She responded by saying to me "you know, you could use a little lipstick."

Turns out she was selling Mary Kay. I made a point of never looking her up again. :-)

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I know that you have tons of great responses, but your post made me think of my neighbor who came over and asked me when I was 'going to do something about my curtains'... Ummmm, what? Details are unimportant, but my curtains were none of her business. And your makeup (or lack thereof) is none of her business. Don't let a rude woman make you feel insecure. Makeup is mostly toxic chemicals anyhow. It sounds like she has some other stuff going on in her life and it most likely had nothing to do with you. (FYI, I don't wear a lick of makeup, unless it's there is an important event, AND I am a professional with a master's degree in my field)

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I used to never care about makup. Now I only wear it because I'm insecure about the way I look. I don't have eyelashes or eyebrows so before I go out I put on my "fake-up" so that at a glance I don't look like a freak. I wish I could go back to the days when I didn't bother with the stuff and didn't care. A woman telling another woman that her lack of make-up is offensive is completely laughable and I would have done just as you did. Laughed right out loud at the inanity of it.

Makeup is worn to make you feel better about yourself. To cover up a blemish or accentuate a nice feature of your face. To me, wearing makeup is a sign of insecurity because it is the reason I started doing it, however I understand there are other reasons people wear makeup so I would never presume to comment or judge someone for either wearing or not wearing makup.

I think your coworker would probably shrivel up and die if she had to step outside without getting done up. I can only assume she's trying to rip you down and make you feel bad because she herself couldn't pull off the no makeup look and still look half as good as you do. If you went in all dolled up you'd probably outshine her...

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I don't know that I feel offended... No I don't.

I'm not a professional anymore. But I still go to pick up my children at school. I dress nice, wear makeup, have my hair done. Why because I see those women up there and I think they look frumpy and to be quite honest terrible. I sit there in my head and think god if I was you I'd wear a more flattering outfit or my god you look washed out, or who would want freckles like that... poor girl!

I stare at all of them and think how unbecoming they look. I know it's terrible but I do. I also see on family nights how all the men stare and smile at me. I could care less but then I look at the wife. Shes pry dressed decent but no makeup. If her husband finds me more appealing then I could deduce that I'm not the only one who thinks these things.

We are told what clothes are most flattering for our body... So this is what is expected of us in society. Like it or not. Unless you are the frumpy housewife everyone makes fun of. lol

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that was a mean thing for her to say if you dont have to or want 2 thats your choice i do wear make up most days and like to match with what i wear but some days i dont and some people can be judgemental either time no matter so dont let it bother you just keep wearing lip gloss and maybe put it on in front of her. LOL!

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When I first began to write to you my reaction was, no way is anyone offended. Thats ridiculous! But as I began to write, I changed my mind. Its not like you were in the grocery store caught without makeup. There are some work environments where image matters especially if you are seen by company clients. Before I was a SAHM, I was an interior designer. It mattered. I was bothered by those who didn't dress the part because they were seen by clients and that reflected on all of us in an industry where image matters. But I knew it wasn't my business to say anything. I also knew they would be passed up for promotion. There were a handful of woman who didn't wear make-up at my office but dressed to the nines. It worked for them (because they were Asian and had flawless complexions). If you work in a hospital or a factory, hardly anyone bothers with makeup and nobody cares. But you say you wear suits, and I'm sorry, but if you are wearing suits, I'm thinking you need to be looking your best for the sake of the company image. That does effect everyone. Sorry, but unless you're Asian, Indian, or in your twenties with a tan, I'm guessing you could use a little makeup. The way you describe make up as taking an hour to take off tells me it is foreign to you and intimidating. I would suggest you go to a department store and ask them to set you up with a makeup regime you can do in 5 minutes that looks natural. But, then again, if someone said to me what was said to you I wouldn't touch make-up with a 10 foot pole for the next 6 months at least. She was wrong to approach you this way. But I'm still guessing you look more unprofessional than you imagine you do. I would also disagree that this woman is coming from a place of jealously, but one of wanting to boost the image of the office.

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Personally, I don't pay attention to if someone is wearing makeup or not. It is the job they do that counts and not what they are or aren't wearing. I don't wear makeup either and never have. Back in high school I gave it a try and my skin broke out really bad and I never went back to wearing it.

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wow is that rude or what! if i wear make up to work its very light so you can barely tell its there. make up is something people choose to wear but its not required. i would be offended if she told me that. no one in the facility should be put off because you choose not to load make up on your face and it shouldnt be the topic of peoples disscussion at work as that is inappropriate in the work place and could be turned into harrassment.

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I wouldn't go as far as saying offended BUT it is really annoying when you take time to appear professional and well put together and the others dont. I worked in a professional setting as a manager and was put together from hair to toe and there were a few women in the business office who dressed the part somewhat but never wore makeup and just looked tired. It really is a matter of opinion, but I think makeup just makes you look finished, even if its just a little bit. I'm not for a natural face but to each is own. I could never bring myself to saying that to someone although I may have taken that compliment as an opportunity to ask aswell. And wearing 'just lipstick' to me is even worse! Its like half an effort.

P.S. She should check out a fashion mag. You don't match your shadow to what you're wearing nor your bag to your shoes anymore!

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Maybe you are allergic to makeup.....what difference does it make? Make up is not WHO YOU ARE. Who you are is inside and you dress proffessionally. Tell her to mind her business. I know this isn't the answer you are looking for but I work with a woman that never brushes her hair. She litteraly gets out of bed and comes to work. THAT I am ticked off by. Sometimes I want to buy her a comb for a "hint" but that would be rude and incensitive. I guess there is not way to soften the blow when it comes to our "looks".

I don't think make up is mandatory unless you work behind a make up counter everyday.

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I am pretty sure your boss could get a "talking to" by Human Resources if they found out she made that comment. It is not professional and singles you out. Unless the company policy is for women to wear make-up (and even that is gender discrimination.) I do think many women and men are that vapid that they are more focused on someone'a lip gloss than they are on their work performance, attitude and commitment to their job. I work with a bunch of young glama-zons and we recently hired someone who is heavy set and therefore can not wear skinny jeans and stilletos. My boss made a comment to me about her appearance and when I responded with a comment that not everyone is 5'9" and 125 lbs, my boss said it had nothing to do wiht her size. BUT IT DOES ! Anyway - to answer your question - I would like to think that most ppl are not that rude or care that much about other's appearance. There are those style slaves that judge others by their appearance but I feel sorry for them b/c they obviously don't have enough love or friends in their lives to spend so much time worrying about how coordinated their purse & shoes are.

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I haven't read any other replies...
I never wear any makeup at all unless I am in a wedding (bride, bridesmaid) or doing a family photo shoot with a professional photographer (which I have done ONCE). Really, I NEVER wear anything, not even lip gloss. No one has ever seemed put off by the fact that I don't wear it and certainly never seemed to find it offensive.

Of course, I suppose you never know what someone is saying behind your back, so maybe it does bother some people. But it's never been brought to my attention and I don't intend to change.

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com - join in July and you're automatically entered in our new member raffle!

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That is a CRAZY statement. I work in entertaiment and with everyoned working so hard, even if they do put on lipstick, or makeup, it is gone after an hour of work. It is not important and you should pride yourself on being confident without having to paint your face. She is wrong about it being offensive. I actually find her statement offensive.
Good luck at work

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Hi,

This situation sounds like an episode of Mad Men--outrageous!

I like to wear make-up once in a while just because I find it interesting, but sometimes I don't because I'm getting a PhD, moving, raising two toddlers, etc. A few years ago, I decided not to wear some forms of make-up, e.g. mascara, in order to save money for charity. I think that it's way more important for several sentient beings (people and animals) to eat today than for me to have thicker-looking eyelashes! I can't imagine getting offended at someone for not wearing make-up. Refraining from applying make-up is not a sign of poor hygiene. It is not the same as refraining from bathing, brushing one's teeth, etc. Based on my psychology education to date and the information you've provided, I suspect that this woman may have borderline personality disorder or at least some of the features of this disorder.

Best wishes,
L.

Updated

I forgot to add that the woman who made this comment shows many signs of narcissistic personality disorder as well as borderline personality disorder. Can't imagine what it would be like to be related to her!

L.

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Funny story; I'm not a "make-up" person, the night before a big wedding we were to attend, my sister-in-law, who came in from out of town, begged and whined to "do my face", saying if I didn't like it I didn't have to wear it the next day. When she finished I went into the family room to show the rest of the family. One of my 18 month old twin sons toddled by me and muttered "clown". Out of the mouths of babes.....(we all still laugh, nobody bothers me about wearing make up!!)

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I know you have 100+ responses...that is wonderful and I didn't read all 100 of them, however, the ones I did read I felt the SAME way...very rude of the woman to say that to you. I love the NATURAL look and I have NEVER worn make-up. We are who we are and its OK to be the way God made us. I'm glad you're willing to not be imtimidated by such silliness! Natural is better and also cheaper, LOL :-) Stand your ground! Way to Go!

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Some of us (me LOL) don't wear makeup because the stuff we're not allergic too is costly and quite frankly I have better things to spend my money on. And even with the expensive stuff I can get irritated by it. I haven't worn makeup since before my husband and I got married 15 years ago. Occasionally I've gotten mascara but that's it. I can't wear a single lipstick from any company, period, no matter how much it costs-allergic to every single one of them. I don't even have any makeup in the house at the moment. I still look nice and such when I go out. That lady was amazingly rude IMO. Can anyone say insane ego? Glad to know I'm "offending" people by going out without makeup each and every day. Geez o_O

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I have notice that some people treat me better when I wear make up.It seem stupid to me, that make up would make me a better person but I guess people like this girl thinks so. Oh well, they will have to deal with it. Because I am NOT taking time of busy day so I don't "offend" them.
I actually would have a really hard time to see that woman straight to the eye and no laughing so hard that it makes her more offended.
I think what you did was great, and I am laughing just thinking on her prune face looking at you without make up, lol.

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LOL that lady needs to get a grip! I work for a cosmetics company and its a very professional place I don't ware makeup only lip gloss and maybe lipstick but a very sheer color about 1/2 the woman here DON'T ware makeup and its ok with us no one is offended by it and really know one cares! i just think she may be jealous because she needs makeup to make her pretty and you don't! lol natural beauty is the best! don't let it worry you! i wouldn't :)

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I do resent that there are people in my office who don't try to look their absolute best, i hope that's what she meant. Especially if you're working with the public. If you had to look at other people all day why wouldn't you want them to look their best? When I'm confident and know I look professional, clean, and beautiful, it comes through in my actions, my voice, my abilities. I accomplish more when I feel and look rested.

I too have seen many people that don't wear makeup look uneven, tired, sallow, or like they don't care enough to finish the product. It's like driving a brand new fancy car but not washing or polishing it! I take pride in being always well dressed and made up, like I'm putting my best foot (and face!) forward. Especially at work I would love to see my coworkers do the same, they are reflecting not only themselves but the rest of us and the company we work for.

I have a lot of friends and only two of them look good with minimal makeup, even they benefit from a tiny swipe of powder and mascara with their lipgloss. Try a little, you may agree that it makes you feel more confident/powerful/competent/beautiful, etc!