When to Tell My Daughter/family/friends I'm Pregnant

If I were you I'd hold out until you're closer to 12 weeks, maybe 10 weeks. We waited till we were 10 weeks along, it took us a long time to get pregnant.

A lot of my friends and family wait just until they've seen the baby's heartbeat on ultrasound and not the whole first trimester. That seems to be a milestone they're comfortable with. Congratulations and best wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy.

I'd try to wait till the end of the first trimester--that being said--I am just finishing my first trimester of my second pregnancy and I was so morning sick and started to show a lot earlier this time around that it is very hard to keep the secret till now. Good luck and best wishes for a good pregnancy!

well I always wait to tell but there is no set rule. You can tell whoever you want whenever you want....it's your body and your baby :) Although I am now pregnant with my 3rd (29 weeks along) and I didn't want to tell my 4 year old for a while but before I even told her she went and starting telling people that mommy is puking everyday. So I had lots of people wondering if I was. So yeah when you tell your daughter she will be announcing it to everyone so I wouldn't tell her unless you don't care who knows. And again it's up to you.

DO NOT TELL HER! Wait - make sure everything is fine and then tell her. It will be harder for her to understand if something does happen. I went in for my 3 month check after having two healthy children and my beautiful baby did not have a heartbeat. No warning. We were wating for this check up to tell our kids who were 6 and 3. Although it was hard to mourn the loss in silence in our home it was so much better for them!

In 8 weeks - when the doctor gives you a thumb up that everything is going smoothly. Buy the "I am going to big a big sister" t-shirt! Gook Luck & Congrats!

Hi deanna,

Congratulations! I would wait until you are at least 10-12 weeks. You will be almost through the first trimester and your miscarriage rates go way down after that. Good luck!

And just saw your other question, the best book--- What to expect when you are expecting, The girlfriend's guide to Pregnancy. Those are two of my favorites.

M

M

I would wait until you are through your first trimester. Six is such a tricky age for death and dying and if something were to happen, I just think it would be really difficult for her to handle at that age. We announced our pregnancy at around the 9 week mark, made a shirt for my son that said "I'm the big brother" and then mailed it to our parents (since we lived in another state at the time.) I ended up miscarrying at 13 weeks. It sucked but it made it so much easier that my son was only 3 and he didn't really understand what had happened. Maybe you can tell your daughter after the first trimester and then involve her in a creative way to announce it to the rest of the family. Best of luck to you.

I would wait to tell your daughter until you are through your first trimeseter. When I became pregnant with my third child, we told our parents and siblings soon after we found out. I also told a few close friends. However we waited to tell our two other children. I am glad that we did as I miscarried at week 11. It was hard telling our family and friends about the miscarriage, but they were wonderful support. But it was also h*** o* them - especially our parents - as they were very excited about the baby. However I can't imagine how difficult it would have been to explain it to my two children.

With both pregnancies we told some people right away, we decided that the people that we would need support from in the event of a miscarriage might as well know that we are pregnant.
With your daughter I am not sure as you are probably not going to turn to her for support if you have a miscarriage.

My son and daughter at 3 yrs 9 months apart. So, my son really had no concept of months yet when I was pregnant. We actually waited to tell him until i was about 18 weeks. Long enough for him to get used to the idea, but not so long that it never comes (it was still a long wait for a 3 yr old!) My personal opinion is the longer you wait to tell, the faster your pregnancy goes!
As far as telling your family, we told my parents early and I've had 3 miscarriages, my rule was always if it is someone I will tell about the miscarriage, I don't mind telling them early.
When we were ready to announce, I made my son a shirt that said "Coming soon... Big Brother April 2010" (I just used a white t-shirt and fabric pens) I just put the shirt on him and we took him to my parents house. It was hilarious watching my folks read the shirt and put it together.

I would say to just tell family now. That's what I did cuz there was no way I could keep it a secret. My family would have figured it out anyways. And, God forbid, if you do miscarry your going to need your family for support. I say share the good news now. BTW - CONGRATS!!!!!

It was always my philosophy not to tell friends/coworkers, etc until at LEAST 12 weeks. I live about 5 hours away from family and always preferred to tell them in person, so we waited until we were going to see them, they usually found out between about 8-16 weeks (we have been through this 6 times). I had three children (ages 6, 4, and 1) when I found out I was expecting our 4th. We told the kids at twelve weeks when I was going in for an US, they came along and saw the baby on the monitor and were very excited. I went back at 14 weeks for a follow-up US (alone with my two youngest) and found out the baby died. I lost it in the office, my daughter (4 yo) was crying and a bit scared about why I was so upset, I did my best to explain it to her. I had to call my husband to come and pick me up. Then we had to tell our 6 yo son. He cried a lot, he was very upset. So with my next pregnancy we were going to wait until at least 16, maybe 20, weeks to tell the kids. I was really glad we waited because we lost that baby at 12 weeks. It was so much easier to not have to explain it to them again. We are so full of our own questions about why, it is so hard to explain to a child. We did wait until 18 weeks (when I started feeling movement) with our last child, and he is now a happy, healthy 6 month old. So I guess my advice is do what ever you want with adults, but I would encourage you to wait to tell your daughter. She will be just as excited in a couple months, and it will be a shorter wait to meet her brother/sister too. Congrats and best of luck.

If you want to tell people then just pick the people you are closest to (as in close enough to talk to about a miscarriage if you were to have one). It depends a lot how private a person you are. I told my best friend, parents and sister right away when I was pregnant both times. We told everyone else after the 3 month point. I did make sure to tell my grandmother and aunts all the same day as they all talk among themselves constantly and I didn't want anyone to feel slighted.

I would wait a while to tell your daughter. Definitely past the 3 month point and maybe longer, like until you are definitely showing. If she is excited and happy, it will be hard for her to wait 6 months. I waited as long as I could to tell my son who was almost 3. He noticed there was something going on around 5 months in and that was plenty of time for him to get used to it.

Do you have one really close friend or family member, who wouldn't spill the beans? It is so hard to keep it a complete secret! With my first, my sister-in-law knew because she's a nurse and we couldn't get a clear answer from the tests. With my second, it was my sister, just because I had to tell someone. I felt bad that they didn't get the fun surprise announcement, but I needed to talk! For announcing, with the first, we told my family during the grace at Christmas dinner (we asked for prayers for our expected baby). With the second, I sent my family a photo of all the cousins and attached a note "room for one more?". I hope everything goes really well with your pregnancy, and that you do get to do a fun announcement!

I told close family after seeing the first ultrasound with a confirmed heartbeat.

If you plan to tell your daughter before the end of the first trimester, make sure you are ok with the possibility of her spilling the beans to other people.

congrats!

I'd wait at least until you are 10 weeks... near the end of the first trimester. It would be more difficult to have to go back and explain to your 6 year old if something went wrong. My last pregnancy I was 9 weeks and we were going to tell our three boys. We changed our mind in the last minute which I'm grateful we did because we did miscarry. Tell one or two close friends / family to satisfy your excitement to tell. Congratulations!

I was the same as you, thrilled to be pregnant! I wanted to tell everyone but my husband (the sensible guy he is) said lets wait until after the first trimester. He was right sadly I miscarried last week at 10 weeks pregnant. It is a very difficult time and I think of how painful if would be to have to tell everyone the bad news, including my darling son. I would recommend you wait a few months, enjoy your little secret then share your joy when the possibility of miscarriage has declined. I wish you blessings with your baby.

Hi Deanna, first of all congrats!! Dont know the circumstances of why it took you a year to concieve but it also took me a year to concieve my second child. I had two miscarriages during this year and the first time I got "pregnant" we had just announced to both sides of our family (even got my 3 yo a T-shirt that said "Ive got a secret" on the front and on the back was "I"m going to be a big sister") that we were expecting again (I think I was 8 weeks) and literally a couple of days later I had to tell everyone I lost the baby - found out at my 9 week US there was no baby. It was the hardest thing to do and hence learned my lesson. When I had the second miscarriage it made me all the more afraid. When I got pregnant again, the announcement wasnt made until I passed the first trimester. I waited until I was 13 weeks. I think I might have told our daughter a couple of weeks earlier though. My suggestion is to wait until you have your first US appt, which is usually around 9 weeks and if everything looks good, then, if you can't stand it any longer - tell. Good Luck!!

I have been in your shoes and was so excited to tell everyone we were going to have another baby only to lose that baby, we had told all of our family and friends and our daughter I had the hardest time telling everyone of the loss especially my daughter. When we become parents again I will wait to tell people, no matter how hard it is. I wish you the best of luck & congrats !

With my first two pregnancies we couldn't wait to tell people. On the first one, my husband actually blurted it out in the middle of dinner. I had no idea it was coming. We were with his sister, we abruptly left dinner and headed to his parents house to tell them the news. We asked his mother, who loves to scrapbook, if she would be ready to start another book for the newest member of the family.

Our third pregnancy I lost at 9 weeks. I had already told friends and family-secure in the fact that it would go like my previous two pregnancies. It was devastating to tell family that we lost the baby. Our children did not know that I was pregnant at the time. The kids were 4 and 6. We did end up and tell them why mommy and daddy were so sad. We told them that the baby did not grow right in mommy's tummy. So, my suggestion to you would be this in terms of telling your daughter. If you do decide to tell her, let her know that you are pregnant and that she MAY have a brother or sister. Let her know that the baby has lots of growing to do, and that hopefully the baby will grow big enough to become part of your family.

Good luck with everything! How exciting for you and your family!

I waited til I was at least through my first trimester and had an ultra sound. Yes, you could have a miscarriage at anytime but it less likely after that period of time. I announced my pregnancy at the holidays everyone thought it was the best present.
My husband and i had been trying for a couple years and I decided it was time to get tested. He was tested and all was fine so i went to be tested. The Dr. wanted x-rays so i went to the hospital, they always test to check for pregnancy's prior to x-rays. After the blood test I was sent home with out getting the x-ray and i could not understand why but my Dr. called me about 4 hours later and said no need for the x-ray because i was pregnant. that's the story we have told Hans of why he is a miracle child. Now a 20 year old child but still my baby.

I don't know how you can keep it in. I would probably wait another week or 2 to tell my very excited 6 year old but I would definitely have to tell my close family members and best friend. They are also the people I would tell if there was ever a problem.
And, I heard the best story ever about the way a couple told everyone what they were having (if you are going to find out what you are having). They had the doctor write down the answer, then they went to a bakery, handed the envelope to the baker and told them to fill the cake with blue or pink icing. They brought the cake to a family dinner, and they all found out when they cut the cake. How much fun is that?
Good luck and everything will turn out great!

Well you got through the first 4 to five weeks so it sounds like someone wants out in nine months. I myself was unable to wait. I think I told everyone about two weeks after. It's difficult. So if your rule is to wait however, ask the doctor if everything looks good and then decide based on that. I don't suppose there is ever a right or wrong answer. I myself was so overjoyed second time around I just kind of let it leak I believe.

After you hear a heartbeat, there is only a 4% chance of miscarriage.
http://miscarriage.about.com/od/pregnancyafterloss/f/odds...
Most people have there first ultrasound around 7-8 weeks. I think it would be pretty safe after you see that.
Keep in mind, if you do miscarry, you might need your best friends and family to help you get through it. So, you might end up having to tell them after the fact. If you are that excited about being pregnant(like I was) go ahead and tell them!!! Everyone will understand if something doesn't work out. I wish you all the best!