When to Spill the Beans About Pregnancy?!?

Updated on June 07, 2009
J.G. asks from Sturgis, SD
16 answers

I am 7 weeks pregnant... feeling all the symptoms & I'm having a hard time not telling anyone. My first doctors appointment is June 10 & I'm trying to wait until then to tell family & friends. But I've been having morning sickness, super tired and hunger pains and my friends & co-workers keep asking me if I'm pregnant! I hate lieing.
With my first pregnancy we told everyone after I took a home pregnancy test. So I'm not use to waiting so long! This time around I'm a little nervous since we had twins our first time & I guess I'm convinced I'll have multiples again! HA! I'm having a ultrasound at our first appointment so I will know.
Does anyone have any advise on how to handle this situation? And maybe good ideas on how to tell friends & family when the time comes.
Thanks!!!

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Featured Answers

B.H.

answers from St. Cloud on

I am having a really hard time as well. We had been TTC #2 for three months so my family and my in laws have been waiting for an announcement. I happened to be out of town at my parents' home when AF was 5 days late so I took a test there and couldn't contain my excitement. It's a little nerve racking though as we are now barely five weeks along and all the what ifs run through my head!

Good luck, and I'm happy I told my parents and in laws because even if a "what if" happens, we'd tell them about it anyway for support.

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I feel your pain! It is SUPER hard! We told everyone right away the first time around.
The next pregnancy did not last, so it was horrible having to go back and tell everyone "nevermind" when we found out.
After that bad experience, we waited until my ultrasound to spill the beans on baby #2.
With baby #3, I wanted to wait until 12 weeks, but my dates were WAY off and when I had my ultrasound at what we though was 12 weeks we found out I was only 8. I couldn't wait any longer.
It's hard to hide morning sickness, but do the best you can. If you really don't want people to know you're pregnant but they pester you, point out how rude the question is or say, "No. Are you???" Really, it's none of their business.
When you are ready to make the announcement, there are lots of ways. I've seen people take a picture of themselves wearing a t-shirt that says "Baby on Board" or simply the due date. My sister mailed out pictures of the positive test. My oldest told my parents about the second pregnancy, and I e-mailed a picture of the ultrasound of baby #2. With baby #3 (our surprise baby) I handed my parents a picture of the ultrasound. They had had no idea!
Good luck and congratulations!!!

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M.N.

answers from Madison on

I understand people thinking that you should wait in case of miscarriage. I don't think this however applies to close family and friends. If something did happen you would want support from them than having to tell them I "was" pregnant, but.... Congrats!!

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M.R.

answers from Madison on

I strongly suggest that you wait until 12 weeks, no matter how hard it is to lie/say nothing. A friend of mine recently told everyone at 6 weeks, and then lost the baby and had to make calls to let everyone know that - it was a horrible experience. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what she did. I know how hard it is waiting to tell everyone -- I waited until 14 weeks! And by then everyone had their suspicions or "knew already" , but at least I didn't tell them. Good luck on your pregnancy!

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

it is definately up to you. my husband wanted to tell everyone right away and he did, we lost the baby at 5 weeks and i really wish i hadnt told anyone. i would have rather dealt with it on my own rather then having everyone look on me with pity. but if you need the support then tell people. when we got preg. again everyone was hounding us on a weekly basis to find out if we had conceived again so we just said yeah we were, they kind of ruined the surprise for us. whenever i do get pregnant again i dont plan on telling people right way i just want to enjoy it for myself. Congratulations on your new little one. i pray that everything works out perfectly for you.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

J.,

With my first three pregnancies, we told the whole world as soon as we saw the little pink line on the test. My third pregnancy ended up being a blighted ovum miscarriage, and having to go around and "untell" everyone was hard. With my next two, we didn't tell anyone, just waited until I was showing and everyone figured it out, which was still in my first trimester.

If you are seven weeks and having lots of symptoms, chances are you are out of the woods for a miscarriage. They usually happen pretty early. If you don't tell people now, you probably can in the next few weeks.

Good luck,
S.

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C.T.

answers from Milwaukee on

Call your doctor and see if you can get in today or tomorrow! Then you won't have to wait any longer!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks, so I kind of feel like you should wait. I don't think you're going to have a miscarriage, but it just makes sense to wait until you're out of the first trimester.

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S.W.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

It took a year to get pregnant with my first so, we told right away. With the second it happened the first time so we were so shocked it took us a week or two to process. I also realized I was pregnant a little sooner with this one. We told close family around 8 weeks but, my mil was so excited she missed the don't tell everyone and sent out an e-mail to everyone she knows a day later. I can't keep a secret either. My sister waited until after her first trimester and she said it was so hard to do!

B.H.

answers from St. Cloud on

I am having a really hard time as well. We had been TTC #2 for three months so my family and my in laws have been waiting for an announcement. I happened to be out of town at my parents' home when AF was 5 days late so I took a test there and couldn't contain my excitement. It's a little nerve racking though as we are now barely five weeks along and all the what ifs run through my head!

Good luck, and I'm happy I told my parents and in laws because even if a "what if" happens, we'd tell them about it anyway for support.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

It's completely up to your preference.

We've been pregnant 6 times and micarried 4 of those so we tend to wait. Miscarriage is way less likely to happen after 12 weeks. (We miscarried at 11 1/2 weeks, then 5 weeks, then 6 weeks, then 11 weeks again.) I'm very glad we didn't tell this last time again because with our first miscarriage everyone knew and I had people asking me when my due date was...... (I'm fairly thin so it's not like I looked pg, it's just we had told everyone I was.) With our last one, our baby's heartbeat only stopped at 8 1/2 weeks so an ultrasound any earlier would have just given us false reassurance...... Miscarriage is hard enough to deal with, without having everyone congratulate you.

After we lost this last one, we did tell close family and friends so we could have the support we needed to deal with this, yet again.

Again, not that you will have one, but just in case something doesn't go as planned, you won't have a bunch of people saying things that hurt you if you keep quiet a couple more weeks. Good luck.

T.S.

answers from St. Cloud on

Since you haven't had a doctors appt yet, you can simply say that you have a dr appt set and will know more then. It leaves it open without directly answering that you are pregnant but lets them know that what they have noticed (your probably looking more fatiqued than normal) has been acknowledged.
Congratulations and enjoy the excitement of being pregnant.

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J.C.

answers from Madison on

I can relate! With my first son I called everyone in my family (except my mom, ironically enough, I told her a month later because I was so nervous about what she would say!) and told them as soon as I got a postive pregnancy test. With my second pregnancy I waited a couple days, I think. I pretty much told people right away though. When I lost that baby at 12 weeks I decided to wait a little longer next time. When I got pregnant with my second son I waited until 7 weeks to tell people because I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days that told me the baby was still developing right and had a good heartbeat. With my miscarriage the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks so I felt confident about my third pregnancy when I saw that tiny little heart beating away! Sure, enough, he is now a wild 17 month old! I told people by having my older son hold a sign that said "I am going to be a big brother". I sent that picture to everyone I knew. It was really fun. Now we are starting to talk about TTC again and I am trying to think of more creative ideas to tell people when we do get pregnant again. :) I am not sure how long I will wait to tell people. I guess I will play it by ear. A bunch of my family members waited until they were 20 weeks, which I thought was insane. i would die if I had to wait that long to tell people!! Plus I am so tiny, I start showing around 10 weeks so by 20 weeks it would be VERY obvious!!! By 13 or so weeks last time I was very obviously pregnant. Everyone noticed at a 4th of July picnic I went to.

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I told my immediate family right away. I waited until 3 months to tell the extended family and friends. I miscarried with my 3rd pregnancy and my sister in law miscarried a week or 2 before me. We had each other and our family to help us through it.
I have always heard from alot of people to wait until 3 months, because that is normally the timeframe at which things should be going good...

Congrats!!

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

Congratulations! It is definitely hard to keep something so exciting in for so long! If people ask you directly, I would say go ahead and tell them. And telling your closest family members is fine now too. But it is better to wait until after 12 weeks to make a formal announcement to everyone else because after that your chances of a miscarriage go way down.
As far as how to tell them, the easiest way is to send out a birth announcement or an ultrasound picture.
I think it would be cool to send an announcement along with a voting card ["check here if you think it will be a...boy, girl, twins, more..."] which they would send back to you. That would be a fun way to let them know, get them "involved", and it would encourage them to send cards of support [and maybe gift cards! ;) ] back to you along with their vote. Then later on when you find out what you're having you could send out another announcement saying "it's a girl" "it's a boy" ..."[enter names here] win with an excellent prediction!" That would be fun, but it is also another way to tell everyone the sex after the initial announcement.
Or incorporate it into your baby showers with the winning votes receiving an extra prize or something.

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T.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'd say wait until after your doctors appt

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J.S.

answers from Des Moines on

I think it's totally up to you. We only told our parents right away and told them to keep quiet until they heard otherwise. I'm glad we did this as I had 2 miscarriages before a successful pregnancy.

Good Luck!

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