When to Enoll My Child in Kindergarten?

My husband and I went through this same situation 2 years ago. My oldest daughter's birthday is also at the end of August. I was on the fence for a long time. Since you're writing to seek advice it sounds like you're on the fence also.

Factors to consider: Academics, Social skills, and emotional stability.

Academically, she was off the charts. Socially, she made friends on her own terms, slowly. In our case, we felt she wasn't emotionally ready for kindergarten. She needed more guidance on how to handle different situations. We didn't want this to effect her academically.

We thought if we held her back and she ended up being bored with school, we could always find other means to challenge her. We didn't want to chance being on the reverse end and her struggle with her school work. She's a bit of a perfectionist.

We went to kindergarten orientation and got all of the information. I knew in my gut she wasn't ready.

I am aware that as parents we cannot control everything our children do or say. However, one thing I am confident in is how my kid is being raised and what her value system should be. Many times kids are influenced by older kids. I want my kid to be "the older kid."
Kids can always be challenged. As parents, that's our job. Socially, we can teach them how to act appropriately but are they comfortable? That's developmental.

I hope this helps. xo

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My son has a late June birthday. While my husband and I feel he could handle the K school work we felt he was emotionally and socially immature. His preschool teacher agreed. We decided to put him in a prek class at 5 years old. We, too, wondered if he would end up being bored in school due to being held back, but my thought was that I would rather fight to get him in advanced classes, extra-curricular activities etc as opposed to fighting to get him special services because he was struggling either academically, socially or emotionally. I didn't want him to start K at a disadvantage. Good luck with your decision.

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I have to say I really hate this question especially when it comes to girls. If she makes the cut-off and is emotionally ready send her. There is a reason there is a cut-off and unless your child has development or social issues you should respect that cut-off. Two of my kids are summer birthdays as I was. There is always going to be young kids in class and someone has to be that and you deal with it and it eventually helps you develop into the person you become. My middle child is a March birthday and very young emotionally so I could have held her back. So dates mean nothing. Do not you base your decision on whether she is going to be young or old for her class or on your other childs birthday. At this point so many people are holding their kids back that it has become just pointless. I hear people holding their sons back because they want them to be the leader in sports. Your kid is either going to be a leader or not. It will not matter when you start them in school. My brother was the youngest in his class. He ended up leading his swim team and water polo team eventhough he was the underclass man and his team respected him so base you decision on one facter. Emotionally ready or not.

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The older the child is when they start kindergarten, the more mature they will be in the classroom, which is an advantage. 95% of the time. I would wait. Good luck.

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It truly depends on the child. If it were me (and I have a daughter who is born near the cut off too), I would wait. Give her more time to develop emotionally and socially - IF she needs it. I've never heard a parent regretting waiting, I have heard the reverse. Also, since it's very dependent on the child - some do fine, some struggle early... talk with her teachers. The academic part can more easily be slowed or accelerated. You cannot control a childs emotional and social development and being behind is not a good situation ... in my opinion. Good luck!

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WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! My daughter was born August 29th and my husband instisted that we enroll her in kindergarten so that she turned 5 two days before school started. It was the WORST decision of our lives and one we regret daily. It's easy with girls to assume that they are ready to go since their verbal skills are so strong, but the reality is, there is so much more they need to be able to do. We have to help our daughter with homework every night (and she is in kindergarten!) because there are things that the other kids already know. There are kids in her class that turned 6 in the fall and the age difference is HUGE. Think of down the road, too when she gets into middle school and high school. She will be older, more mature, stronger, and more confident to make the right decisions and stand up for herself against peer pressure, boys, dating, all of that. She can be a leader instead of a follower. Please, please, do yourself and your daughter a favor and wait a year. Wait.

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My dghtr will turn 5 the day school starts....i am waiting til the following year to put her in......she too is very bright, she has awesome handwriting, she can spell our last name which has 12 letters, she colors inside the lines, etc.....my thoughts were that I am confident she will do well in the 1st few yrs of elementary but it's the higher grades that I don't want her to struggle in......my other thought is that peer pressure is so intense that I hope she will have better judgement (hope)....she is also very shy & I hope she outgrows it but when children are shy they tend to be followers rather than leaders

My son is currently in kindergarten &recently I had to meet with a lot of school admin for an exit review from speech therapy, & my dghtr was with me & she just sat there quietly coloring & drawing, etc....so i asked the principal, the kindergarten teacher, the social worker & the behavioral specialist what there thougths were about kids being held back & bar none they all said it is so much more beneficial to the children to not be the youngest in the class & some faced the same questions in their own families & they all waited to start school with their own children

Hope I helped

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It sounds like you're looking at all the right things. I would also consider her social maturity and academics. Our first daughter has a July birthday. We took the recommendation of the preschool teachers and "pushed" her ahead instead of "holding her back". She too was ready academically, was in a preschool pre-K class and was very verbal/well spoken. Our only concern was immaturity. Although she was extremely disciplined, sometimes she would have problems keeping her hands to herself, especially when she was excited, grabbing shirts, hands, taking things she wanted to see away from other people, etc. This was described by the teachers as something she would grow out of as she matured. She did great in K! I found that her "immaturity" was her only shortcoming and it appeared that many other children in K had the same problem. She is an outstanding student and is not "behind" now at all.

I think if you feel your daughter is prepared for K and the teachers agree, then go forward. Although it can be hard being the youngest in class - last one to loose teeth, mature, get a license, etc. I think those are things you can talk about and prepare her for in advance. Holding her back isn't the worst thing in the world tho either. She would have an extra year in pre-K, now, but will likely "get" things fast than other kids in school. However this then may be more difficult for you having two children so close in college later on.

I think you know what's best for your child.

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Hello. My daughters birthday is the end of August too. She turned 5 a week after school started. I never considered holding her back. She seemed ready to me and has done great. Just got her progress report today (in 2nd grade now) and all A's and 1 B :-) she's also tall for her age, so she doesn't stick out as the young one I guess. Also, I am happy when she graduates from high school she will still be 17 :-) I was almost 19 when I graduated and I remember signing myself out!!! (as the lady said below) ... hahaha - I was always one of the oldest in class since my b-day is in October.

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I didn't see this answer, and it may not be at all what you were thinking. So feel free to take what works and disregard the rest. :)

I would encourage you to consider homeschooling as an option. WA state doesn't want to know where the child is until age 8. Then you simply sign a "Notice of Intent to Homeschool". www.hslda.com is a wealth of information.

You are already her teacher -- walking, talking, eating, etc. No reason to stop now. :)

My best to you in whatever you decide to do!

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Hi, my daughters b-day is the end of August too. We put her in kindergarten when she was almost 5. The school year started a week before her 5th b-day. She did great and she only went to pre-k and was never in school before then. She is very smart and picks things up quickly and we felt she could handle being with a bit older kids...Good luck and hope this helps...

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All my boys have October b-days and both nephews have December B-days...so they all started later (we do not have a choice where I live, child has to be 5 on or before Sept.1st, of that school year)...all of them will be 18 at the beginning of their senior years in HS...therefor allowed to sign them selves out when ever they choose to do so---YIKES!

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Another consideration is how you feel about repeating or skipping a grade. I have summer babies and our plan is to start them young and then if they aren't ready and need to repeat Kindergarten, then it's okay. We'd rather they repeat K than skip first.

We do not have a choice here either.... the child has to be five by sept...

If she is mature enough to sit through her lessons and pay attention to the teacher, I would send her rather than hold her back to be closer to her sibling. I myself am frustrated because my son just misses the cut off and I am being forced to hold him up a year even though he is ready to advance. As a little sister whose older sister was only 2 grades above me, having your sis in the same school is not always a bonus.

I agree with many of the other posters.. Wait. The studies show that the older the kid is when they start school, the better off they are academically their WHOLE lives. It's much better for your daughter to get tracked at the top of her class than the middle.

Updated

I agree with many of the other posters.. Wait. The studies show that the older the kid is when they start school, the better off they are academically their WHOLE lives. It's much better for your daughter to get tracked at the top of her class than the middle.

Those are all great things to consider. My advice would be to think about what you would do if she does start to struggle as the year progresses, due to a maturity aspect - do you have her repeat, and are you strong-willed enough to get the school to do it even if her work is "passing". The other things I would suggest considering are her age as she is older and enters other grades - here is what I mean...

My birthday is early in September, so I barely missed the cut-off, but I think that was a good thing. I also have a sister that is 15 months younger than me, so her and I were only a grade apart in school and that was never a problem. If anything I always had someone to go to the bus stop with and to ride the bus with. However, when I was in high school I turned 16 at the beginning of my sophomore year (instead of at the beginning of my junior year) which was very helpful for my parents because I could drive my sister and I to school and shuttle us home from our after school activities. I am one of seven children, so this was obviously very helpful for my mom because by the time I was a sophomore my oldest sibling was at college and the one just older than me was a senior when I was a freshman, so he had graduated and was working. Anyway, back to me, the other thing I appreciated was that I turned 18 my senior year of high school which meant that I headed off to college right before my 19th birthday. I'll tell you that greatly helped me with the maturity aspect of things because I had roommates who had just graduated highschool and were turning 18 their freshman year of college, and I thought that was very weird to think that they were 17 leaving for college (all of them were from other states than where the college was) and that they had only had their driver's license for a year before leaving for college. Yes, some of them did better than others, but I found myself yelling at one roommate, asking her "what she was thinking?!" when she answered our apartment door one night after midnight when we weren't expecting anyone. To her surprise it was a group of boys with ski masks on running around in tighty whiteys who ran around her in a circle screaming and body bumping her. Luckily, I was home with her and came out with my wooden bat and told them I was calling 911 and they quickly ran out. Everyone was fine, but I didn't understand how she could ever think it would be ok to answer the door after midnight when we weren't expecting anyone.

Anyway, those are just a couple other things to think about. I hope I didn't freak you out, but just wanted to say that I liked being older than everyone else in my class.

Good Luck!

Our daughter was turning five in September after the cut off but she tested into Kindergarten with flying colors. However, the first few months were not as fun for her in some ways. She didn't have the social skills. I don't know if I would have chosen differently. The teacher made the difference for us..she was great at helping the kids adjust. Thankfully she was not the youngest child. There are test periods for younger kids too. If she's not "quite up to it" yet the teacher lets the parent know within about two weeks after school starts and if it continues to be that there are issues the parent will be asked to withdraw the child to a preschool group instead. I'm not sure which is better..to have the academic down and learn the social or vice versa. Mine went in with all her academics firmly in place but her feelings were hurt easily she is still sort of a perfectionist and very competitive in some aspects and shy in others. This is normal in general but hers go to extremes sometimes. One of the areas of trouble was "reality versus what I want reality to be". Respecting that the teacher is the only one in the classroom allowed to talk whenever she/he wants was another issue. She just didn't understand how the teacher could be talking to all of them..especially when she already knew some of the stuff the teacher was telling them LOL. It was cute and infuriating and down right frustrating because she had to learn on her own..we couldn't help her with that part except to tell her the best we could what was the right way to do things. They learn fast though. If she's a fast learner and adjusts well to larger groups of kids..I'd try it and see.

The other posters have very strong points, but I have a different view. Not looking to play devil's advocate, but want to make sure you see that it *could* be good to go in now instead of waiting.

I was born in late September, so my birthday always fell about a month after school started. My mom put me in early (I was 16 at the beginning of my senior year), and I *still* excelled past my peers. You think, as does every mom, that your child is smart and articulate, but is she bored with pre-k and starting to read and do math? Get her tested by the school district, definitely. Test her skills at home. Start teaching her kindergarten math, work on reading, get a kindergarten workbook to let her do 'homework' on her own. See if she needs help or if she can do it without (maybe after you've read the directions, if she's not quite to that point). She'll let you know if she's ready.

I believe that if she's really advanced enough to go in a year early, she'll catch up emotionally and psychologically by the time Jr. High and High school come around, and the real peer pressures start.

If you do put her in early and she isn't ready to go beyond kindergarten yet, repeating that year (or taking her out for a while) is MUCH better and easier than repeating a year later on.

Good luck with your decision.

This is not a decision you need to make now. Her preschool / pre-k teachers should be able to advise you when it comes closer to time to enroll her in kindergarten. They'll be able to evaluate her academic and developmental readiness at that time. If you continue to be her advocate in the educational system, she should have a great experience whether she enters kindergarten at age five or at six. (My oldest did 2 years of kindergarten, first at a private preschool / kindergarten and then at the public school. Academically, he was in the top 1%, but he was far less socially mature. He never complained of boredom in elementary school, even though he was working several years above the level of the majority of his classmates.)

I say go with the standards. If she makes the cut off then enroll her at that time. I have friends with whom its the great debate also. Since we cannot see into the future and know which is the best choice, its best to go with the standard. There are going to be plenty of 5 year olds in Kindergarden all year and plenty more 6 year olds that are less mature. However, if you really feel it best to wait a year then do that, just don't do it because of convienance reasons like, *she will be closer in grades with her younger sister. It should be about her and her needs alone. Best of luck to you and this dicision.

I have no advice regarding when to put her in school. I just want to add that we can't compare boys and girls when deciding when they're ready for kindergarten because girls mature earlier than boys.

My 4 year old daughter is in the same boat. We are electing to give her the extra year. She, too, is bright (already reading at a 1st/2nd grade level) but would rather have her the oldest than youngest in the class. If she gets bored, I'll be her advocate once she's in school.

My son started kindergarten this year and turned 6 on Oct. 7. I have to say that watching him be a leader in his classroom has been awesome. He, also, went in with greater than grade level academics (and did test well). His confidence is wonderful. He handles the, let's say, more behaviorally challenged kids in his class really well. (He understands that they are not bad kids, just kids who are still learning). They are challenging him in his classroom academically. Kindergarten has been a pleasure so far.
On a personal experience note, I was an August 22 child, who was academically advanced. I was in mixed age classrooms, my mom tells me that I tended to befriend the younger kids. The toughest time for me was 7th through 10th grade socially. This was the time that my parents really wished they had started me later than earlier. I all evened out in the end.
My college friend (and maid of honor) was 6 months younger than me. She did well in school but I think this was possibly because she was the youngest child with much older siblings. (I was a first child).
You know your child the best. There is no perfect answer. There will probably be regrets at some point. I know you are the very best parents for your child. This is a tough one.

My youngest child was born right around the kindergarten cutoff date. Even though she was able to do most of the basic stuff they learn in kinder I am glad that I waited the extra year to enroll her. She is much more mature that her friend that was born 2 weeks before her and started kinder the year before. Having 3 years of preschool was a great benefit for her. The biggest consideration would be the social skills.

You've mentioned twice the issue of having your kids close in grades if you wait a year. Is that so bad? My sister and I were 2 years apart in school and did just fine. We had some common friends and were able to look out for each other. I don't think that should even be a factor in deciding when to start your older child in Kindergarten. I have a 7th grader and 3rd grader this year. There is a maturity difference at the 7th grade level so I wouldn't push her to start "early". If she is ahead of the others then she will get put into the tag programs or become a peer helper in the classroom. I wouldn't stress over it. My thought is that it's better to have a smart child then one who needs to redo because they weren't quite ready.

I am in the pretty much the same boat as you are. My daugher was born at the end of Aug and I have a son 15 months younger. My daughter is in preschool and doing well. I agree with all the points you bring up. To me if she has the skills needed for kindergarten and is emotionally ready, then I am going to send as soon as she is 5. I have a real fear that she will get bored and just not work very hard if we wait an extra year. Also, there are some young 5's in her preschool class (the seperate them out a bit), but they don't seem to be challenged much. I would hate her to go thru the same.

I say this now, but guessing the ultimate decision will be made next year. I think you will know if she is ready. My daughter is so excited to go "big kid" school. Good Luck!

My first thought was, she is in Pre-school this year and Pre-K next year, are you just going to take a year off? Then go to Kindergarten?

Check with your school system and see when the cut off date is, if she is old enough let her go, if there are any issues you can always do a transitional first grade or hold her back in Kindergarten again. But if she is going to Pre-School and the Pre-K they will know by then if she is ready and if there are ANY issues..

I'd probaby wait only because a lot of the kids are going to be nearly a year older than her and that makes a big difference. There is soooo much they learn now in kindergarten compared to when we were little, it is crazy. When we were little we used to be there for three hours and take a nap in the middle, now they have computer lab, learn to read, math and are there all day five days a week etc etc. My son is in Kindergarten now and is a may baby and it is a stretch. There were definately areas where he was behind in the beginning. And comparing the summer babies with the fall ones in my sons class... huge difference. As well, I would to so your girls were closer in school age. Good luck with deciding!

Hi K.,
I, personally, would wait until she is 5, since I heard that it is better for the child. Now, however, since you feel she might benefit from going earlier, why not contact the school district you are in and have her tested? I think they put a team of people together to talk to and test the child to see if they need help or are more advanced. I know they do this with children who seem behind (I had my son tested and yes, he is lacking in some basic things that we are addressing before Kindergarten in the fall - he is 5 now). The group comprised of a school psycologist (are they ready mentally/socially), occupational therapist (are they ready physically), kindergarten teacher, and a speech therapist - sometimes there are more in the assessment team. They all took time with my son to see what he could do and what he couldn't do. It was interesting to see things they found that I had no idea he had issues with. I thought he used scissors just fine but apparently he doesn't for his age group - however, he can count to 100 with no difficulty, which apparently is way more than expected at this age. As moms, we tend to see things either better or worse than reality when it comes to our children. Each child is different and some have maturity in places while diffuculty in others.

Now is the time to check however, if you feel that she could benefit from going to school early. Check on your school's website to find out what the early acceptance procedure is or just call the school where she might be going to find out. Some children are naturally ready earlier, but don't rush her - she has plenty of time to grow up. Pressure of being advanced academically is just as hard on children. We, as parents, certainly do not want to set our kids up to fail. You can always have her start school naturally and then see how it is going and address any changes as the year progresses. the Teachers will also help you see what you can do for her if she is bored. Kindergarten is just the beginning.

Good luck!
L.

My MIL is a kindergarten teacher and she prefers when parents wait until the kids are closer to 6 than closer to 4. The standards and requirements for kindergarten are a lot higer than they used to be Just something to think about.