When Time Outs Stop Working.......

Sounds like my daughter. I believe time outs just don't work for all kids. Depending on the behavior, you can also try taking toys and priviledges away. Make sure it's an immediate thing. For example, if my daugther throws her toys I calmly take them away and say uh-oh, we don't throw our toys, this one has to go away today, and put it up where she can see, but not touch it. I've also shut off the TV etc. The key is to remain calm and let them deal w/ the consequences of the behavior. If time outs have become a fun game, I think you are right, you should try something else.

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try making him put his nose on a door knob. If he's too short then it goes on the middle of a wall or hall way. If the nose comes off time starts over.

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I moved my son to higher ground when he started testing the limits of TOs, literally. We placed him on a kitchen chair in the middle of the floor, facing the wall and he was not in reach of anything entertaining. Sounds like your son is testing limits and has changed the rules of the game of time out, so change them back. Like others have said, no chasing, no running... total silence, no eye contact, no talking to him until he sits and does his time.

Alternatively, you can start a timer and for each 30 seconds or minute he runs about, he loses one thing that day. My son would sell his soul for time on the computer, so for each minute he refuses to cooperate he losses 10 minutes of computer time. Takes a time or two to work, but eventually does work very well.

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Dont chase at all. Be very stern with your voice, dont scream but let your voice be heard and i would try making him stand in the corner holding a phone book over his head or somekind of book, if that doesnt work i would say go with a good whooping......which i know some parents dont agree to but when it gets to the point of a "game" other than t.o. thats what i would do.....for some kids that is the only way to get it through to them.

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My son is nearly 4 and we still use timeout. Sounds like to need to be more stern and dont start the time until he is actually sitting down and doesnt get up.

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Hmmmm....I can see my son doing this. Have you tried having chasing games at times other than TO? My son will do this when it is time to change his diaper, and we have had to tell him that it is not a game and he needs to come when we tell him to. At other times we do the "I'm gonna get you" games and it seems to be helping.

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I'm a child and family psychologist and i used t-o with my kids until they were 10. they had to sit on the staircase where they could not see toys or the TV or anything else fun. If they refused to sit, I'd ignore them until they did - however long that took. if they tried to pick up a toy, i took it away, saying they could not have toys until they did their t-o - one minute for year of age, so only 3 minutes for your child. if i didn't interact with them, they quickly learned it was boring to be with toys or food or tv and later computers, and sat for their time.
I also recommend setting a timer that your child can hear from their t-o place, so they are not dependent on you to say when t-o is over. However, I always required my kids (who are now 11 and 15, btw) to do whatever it was they hadn't done - clean up, give back a toy, apologize if they had hit or thrown something, etc. - before they could do a new game or play something else.

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One of my three kids did this to me and I was at a loss for awhile. I tried removing him to an empty guest room in our basement if he ran from time out. When he was done with that (after a few minutes), he had to go complete his time out. I found it worked pretty well if I didn't get mad - if I did, he enjoyed that he got a reaction out of me which only encouraged him.

Once we were on vacation and didn't have a room without distractions like our guest room and the first few days were horrible. Finally, I realized the condo had a large empty closet. I started trying 'closet time' if he wouldn't stay in time out. Same concept as the guest room - but he spent that time in the closet instead. He hated it & therefore it worked better than the guest room ever did. I should add that he is not afraid of small spaces or dark...if he were I would never use this method. It just irritates him - he doesn't have any kind of fear response. Once I got home, I found a space in my house that works just as well. If he ever strays from his time out space, I don't say a word - I just calmly go pick him up & take him to the closet. I then take him back to time out where he has to spend his full 3-4 minutes. Works like a charm! Closet time is extremely rare these days & he stays put in T.O. most of the time.

I am going to suggest a link for you to check out that has a number of discipline suggestions...hope they help! I think you are definitely going to have to switch up the punishments for them to be effective since TO isn't working....good luck!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/discipline?utm_campa...

my daughter was so bold as to tell me when time outs stopped working (its around 4), this is when i started grounded her from having friends over and taking away toys and priviledges whil explaining thoroughly why i have done so.

works like a charm

We had a similar issue with TimeOuts not working anymore. My kids would just play on the step, in their rooms, etc. They didn't care at all about being isolated. Although by removing them from a situation it did "interrupt" them and consequently stop the bad behavior, I don't think it was effective in stopping the bad behavior all together...just that ONE time.

I finally decided to give them "chores" to do. I felt like a "negative" consequence was more effective than just sitting/being isolated.

So for your son, being only 3, how about putting away his laundry, washing some windows, picking up his toys (like 10) in a laundry basket. Whatever it is, don't expect a lot of "help", it's more the point that he's getting a punishment/work to do.

Another approach is to do a reward system. Like if he "earns" 10 magnets on the fridge for helping and being good, he gets something like arts n crafts time or time with a favorite toy. If he's being naughty, he looses a magnet. Make HIM put them on or off the fridge. It's very traumatic to see it go away, just as it's very rewarding to get to put one on.

Whatever you do, get Dad on board. Get him to say, "So how'd we do today? Were you a big helper to Mom today?" Getting my DH involved meant so much to the kids success. They LIVED to tell Daddy they ahd a good day.

I hope these ideas help you.

Make the time out spot something he can't get out of. Break out the old high chair, shut him in his room, strap him into the stroller.

I would also up the time. I know the general rule is 1 minute per year, but I've found that up until age three my kids only needed about 2 minutes to get the picture, but now my 5 year old really needs about 15 minutes to really calm down, or we just get into a "naughty spot" cycle (where she gets out, apologizes, and then does something right away that lands her right back in).

Good luck.

If he keeps getting up off the rug change the time out spot. get a specific chair and put it in the kitchen, hallway or whatever and that is the time out spot. explain to him if he gets off of it he has to have the time out on his bed (he is 3 he will be horrified that it might turn into an extra nap lol)

My 3 1/2 year old daughter started this - and it was driving me completely nuts. A friend suggested I try putting her in her room until she calms down - this is mostly for temper tantrums which were becoming a real problem - so now I just tell her she's going to have to go to her room if she doesn't listen - and to my surprise - it worked! I just close the door and tell her I'll come get her when she can calm down and listen. Good luck.

With three-year-olds, most everything's a game, which is good. That's how they learn. I'm sorry that I'm laughing at your description of how he's turned his discipline into a game. I hope he has the same ability when he's older and has to clean his room or mow the grass!

Three is pretty young. They don't think the way you and I do until they're a little older. He has realized that running around with Mama chasing him is pretty cool! And why not? It's a great playtime thing.

Can you move it to another part of the day? "Buddy, you like this chase game, and I'm glad to play it with you later when we have some free time. But Time Out is for sitting! If you use Time Out for running, I can't do it with you later, and we can't... (insert the consequence of your choice)."

At times when he says he thinks he needs a TO, you might ask him why, and let him go sit on his rug. If you want to invent your own game when this happens, ask him how long he thinks his time out should be and let him do it his way if it's fairly reasonable. If he's just playing, that's all right. If he has actually caught himself doing or about to do something that Mama wouldn't like, then he is learning.

Your son may not quite have a handle on what punishment or discipline is, but he does have sort of a handle on the idea of obeying you (because he does apologize later for disobeying you). That's a great start, I think.

I like your little boy already! Wish I could meet him.

Have you tried a different time out spot? ie his room? Time outs are meant to remove the child so that they can think about their behavior. My 2 year old literally throws herself on the ground for timeouts, we've taken to walking her to her room letting her know she is going for a timeout and leaving her there for 2 min. DONT chase him! This is how it turns into a game. Instead come down to his level explain he is going for a TO put him in there and if he gets out so be it but don't allow him to go back to the activities until he has completed his TO

Try taking his toys and putting them in time out and making him earn them back. or earning the privledge of doing things he likes to do.