What Time Does Your SO Come Home from Work?

Well, my hubby is a doctor and works from 6 am to 8 to 9 pm. My kids get to see him on his days off only and he gets 3 of those every 30 days.

If I want the kids to see dad I have to go up to his place of work and have them visit him. Usually we eat lunch or dinner in the caf. once or twice a week.

You also don't know what is happening at work. They could be downsizing and he M. be having to prove that he is worth keeping. He doesn't want to worry you so he doesn't tell you. I know my husband does silly things like that.

Okay- just because he's salary doesn't mean he doesn't have to perform. he has a lot of stress on him being the sole bread winner of the family. That being said - my husband is out the door at 0820 and home at 0530. I make his lunch every day and he eats his lunch at his desk so that he can come home to be with the family.

He VOWED to NEVER be like his dad and never be around for the kids.

My hubby leaves the house at 6:00 am, gets home from 6:00pm to 8:00...

My SIL doesn't get any help whatsoever from her deployed husband. (My brother) She has a 3 month old DD, and a 2 year old DS. She was lucky that he was able to delay his deployment until she had the baby, when their son was born he had already been deployed for 2 months, and didn't get to meet him until he was 6 months old.

You just have to learn to go with it, dear.
My husband can only DREAM of a job where he is out the door in the mornings at 7:30 and home every night at 7pm, Mon-Friday.

Here's a "typical" week for my husband's job:
Sunday: off (this only after 17 years on the job- the first 15 years he worked both Saturday AND Sunday and had either Monday & Tuesdays or Wednesday & Thursdays off).
Monday: off
Tuesday: leaves for work around 1:45 pm, gets home around 11:45 pm
Wednesday: leaves 12:45 gets home 10:30ish
Thursday: leaves at 11:30, gets home around 8:15 pm
Friday: leaves at 6:30 am, gets home around 3:30pm
Saturday: leaves around 5:20 am, gets home around 2:30 pm.

Unless he has a "quick turnaround" on Wednesday night, and gets home around 10:30 and has to leave the next morning (Thursday) by 7:30.

You learn to deal with it. It was hard when our kids were little. He wasn't really available to help with bedtime, bathtime or even home for meals (so it made it hard for ME to cook or eat anything) MOST nights of the week. And if he WAS home, except for his days off, he was often going to bed before the kids were put to bed... so not only did I do that mostly by myself, I had to keep them quiet during the whole process. And when he WAS available to help, the kids didn't WANT him to, b/c they were so accustomed to ME doing everything.

Skip forward ten years... I have a 12 yr old and a 9 yr old. Both participate in karate class twice a week (not the SAME class.. so this is 4 separate classes I am talking about), one does piano once per week, one had Confirmation classes at church (one day per week 4-5 pm for 2 years), and one has allergy injections one day per week (also after school hours). Dad is not home to help with 99% of this. At all. It isn't possible. And, he feels really lucky to have a karate promotion or tournament on a Saturday actually fall late enough in the day that he can get there before it is over. Right now, our daughter's promotions fall on Tuesday nights. No chance Dad can be there AT ALL, unless he is on vacation.

There are days that my husband doesn't even SEE (literally) our children.

I am not complaining about any of this. He is a wonderful husband and father. He earns a good wage for what he does. If he didn't our lives would be REALLY crazy.. b/c I'd have to have a job outside the home and that would probably send me over the edge (trying to balance schedules is difficult enough without ME actually having one of my own, lol). But it is just the way things are in our household. We all accept that this is how things are... "how we roll" I suppose.

When the kids were really small, I had plenty of days when I couldn't help watching the clock waiting for him to get home and "relieve" me. But let me caution you here... please be careful about bombarding him with all the "home" stuff the instant he walks in the door. I KNOW it is hard. But try to give him 15 minutes or so to "transition" from work. They really do need that. Just pretend (mentally) that he isn't home yet until he's already been home for 15 minutes. Don't ask him to help with the kids or start in about how little Billy was a brat or made a terrible mess. Let him relax a few minutes and let HIM come to YOU and the kids. My husband finally came out and told me that once. (Okay, more than once). "Let me relax for half an hour and then I'll do whatever you want." And I have heard the exact same stories from other wives regarding their husband's coming home time.

And you know what? These days... I actually kinda enjoy some of the odd time that he is not here. I get to have "alone" time, which I have ALWAYS treasured.

Whenever you start feeling like he ought to be home earlier to help you... just think what it is like for the spouses of policeman or ER docs, or pilots, or military serviceman, or any myriad of other careers that are NOT oriented towards 9-5. There are a lot more than you think.

btw, my hubby is an air traffic controller. They work round the clock, just like the planes fly. Someone is ALWAYS on duty...

My husband leaves at 7 am and gets home at the earliest 6:00 but most days 6:30 - 7:30. I know it is really hard when your kids are little. But, if he is like my husband, which it sounds like he is, he isn't going to change his hours. Try really hard to accept it for what it is. Take time for yourself when he is home on the weekends. That is great that he is a help when he is home. That isn't always the case. It gets easier as your kids get older and you will rely on him less. Best wishes.

My husband works 7 days a week 12 hours a day in the middle of either the dessert, or the ocean. He is home 1 day to a week per month(if im lucky). If i could have my husband home every night id consider myself very very privileged. We make the most of the time we have, go to eat and have family breakfasts with placemats cloth napkins and music, play all day and all night:). Sometimes i feel really jipped that this is my lot and i miss my husband. Then i think about military wives who see their husbands not even once a year and spend that time alone wondering if their dead, and i feel lucky. I think about my dad who lost my mom and never remarried, i thought about how he pined and my 1 to 5 days a month with my husband seemed a blessing.

Your hubby is obviously dedicated to his work and his family.
You are a lucky woman.

9+ hour days aren't easy on anyone. I work at a hospital and doctors and nurses work much longer shifts than that.
It's what they do. It's what they love. They need a support system in place at home to make it all work.

I haven't had a significant other, by choice, since my son was less than two years old. I have worked my head off to provide for me and my children. Long hours at the office and then long hours finishing up at home and that's not counting the laundry and housework and cooking and dishes.
I have a friend who complained about her husband not being home enough.
Then he lost his job and she wanted to strangle him because he was around a little TOO much, not to mention the money pressure on both of them.

Be thankful for what you have. I mean, it certainly sounds like you are.
There's never enough time in the day for everything be it scheduling things or time with our family.
Try not to be envious about what other people have or how things work for them because we don't all lead parallel lives.
I know someone who I've thought, "Dang. I'd love to have her life. She's intelligent, successful, a prominent leader in her field. She comes from a long line of wealthy and successful people. She's got it SO going on."
I didn't know until the other day that her husband is paralyzed from the upper chest down after a weird accident. He's been that way for years. He will never get better. He can't work. He requires assistance daily and she shoulders the financial support of that family.
I have to say that I admire her more than ever because she's never let on.
But envy her? No.

I try to be happy with my own life, such as it is.

Your hubby walking in the door at 7pm is a blessing every single time it happens.

You really, truly are a lucky woman indeed!

You are certainly not alone. My husband leaves for work between 6:30 to 8 and comes home anywhere between 7:30 to 10 pm. He also travels a lot.

There are days that I have to talk myself into that he is doing this for us. I am able to stay home in a beautiful house, my kids go to private school, and we take nice vacations. All because he works very hard and endlessly. When he gets home, that computer often comes out again so emails can be sent throughout the world.

Stay strong. We really are very lucky that our workaholic husbands are doing this for us now and the future.

My husband is on Salary also. He leaves at 8:00 and gets home at either 6 or 6:30, but is on call 24 hrs a day.. No he is not paid enough.. He is taking He wears a pager and has 2 cell phones.. They go off all of the time..

He has been there long enough to have a ton of vacation and they tell him he can have days off, but guess what, it never happens.. He loses so many hours of vacation every year because he cannot always get the time off.

Good part, he has a very good job, has excellent benefits and is very well respected. I have not worked full time since our daughter started school.

When I was working, from the time our daughter was born until she started Kindergarten I worked at least 60 hours a week.. only real day off was Sunday.. While I was a buyer, there were many times a year I was at market out of town or out of state for 2 weeks straight at least 3 times a year.. SOooo.. I do not complain.. and I try to make home a nice place to be and our daughter and I praise and thank my husband all of the time for how hard he works for us..

let me tell you...i fell you on this one. my hub takes bus...i dont know when he leaves in the morning because he doesnt wake me up but he never is on a routine bus coming home. he commute 26 miles....but during rush hour here thats like hours sometimes. we have just dealt with it. we are in same boat , happy he has job and a roof over our head and though it is frustrating and tiring its how it is. Does he help out around the house? that is my biggest thing is a family of five is never ending laundry dishes and mopping the floors. i require to dutiesthat he owns by the end of the week if the arent done...dishes and kids laundry..i do everything else inside and for most part out.

hope this helped even a little
Libby

It ALSO depends on the office culture... or his employer, and his Job Position... in the office. He does not work..... in a vacuum with just himself. Others... depend on what he does too. An "Employee".... cannot tell his Boss... that his schedule/projects/work... does not suit his Wife.
He is being responsible.
... my Husband, has a job too, where they can clock in and out.... as long as Projects are taken care of. But... "projects" are NEVER just taken care of in 1 day... they are ONgoing and per the Client demands or parameters or the Employers... parameters. It is never... finite.
So you need... to consider that.
Work "projects" are not like college term papers. They are... multimillion dollar contract "projects." It takes... time.... continual time... and depending on the deadlines... or revamping of the projects too.

My Husband, leaves for work at about 6:45am. He gets home.... about 5:30pm. He also goes to school and does extracurricular activities.
So... even if he is home... he is ALWAYS toiling and busy and working and studying. I do not know how he does it.... and is a Husband and Dad... too.
Sure.. he is not Super-Man or Super-Husband... because, he actually could... do more around here. So it is irritating. But he is home. He works. He goes to school. He does not have bad habits. He does not carouse... with buddies at bars.

I... DO sometimes get IRKED... or more often than just sometimes... when he is not home because he is doing 'his' things... and activities. Like when... do "I" get to do that, too?
But well.... that is a series to be continued....

I think, your Husband's work schedule... is completely normal.
Maybe.. you need to have more time to yourself or with your friends. TELL him.... have your own activities too.

I am a SAHM and have a 4 year old boy and an 8 year old girl.
BUSY children... full of active minds and loud and very.... very.

all the best,
Susan

8:00 - 5:30. He lives within minutes of home, so I see him for an hour in between that, at his lunch.

my fiance leaves at 7am and comes home between 11-11:30pm. I have a 2 year old and a one month old.. I wish he was home early to help me with the LOs but i'm use to it by now. I'm thankful im able to stay home with my kids but i understand how you feel doing everything on your own. My fiance and i hardly ever spend quality time alone together because when he comes home from work i'm sleeping because im exhausted from the chaotic day i had so be thankful you at least spend time with yours! lol

My husband is a workaholic too. He works from home now which I love but I remember when I had my first daughter he often would not get home until 11:00 pm. Yes a 15 hour day. I hated it but was so grateful he worked so hard so I could stay home. Now I can say his hard work as paid off and the sacrifices in the early years of our marriage and when my kids were young were well worth it!
One thing I would suggest is to always have something planned to look forward to. It could be a vacation but it could also be dinner with your husband or a GNO or theatre tickets, or a home movie night with wine/cheese/crackers etc...

I also suggest you find a hobby for yourself if you do not already have one. This was actually my husband's suggestion to me 12 years ago and it did wonders for me. I did however try many before I found one I love and am passionate about. Good Luck!!

OK, a different perspective from a working mom...I can understand that you are pretty desperate to get some relief and it's hard with him coming home late. But I can see it from the other side. Work is work and family comes first, but when there is work to be done and your business is depending on you to deliver, or you have competitors, or you have deadlines...it's not easy to leave it for tomorrow. I do wish there could be a happy medium too. I can tell you that being the breadwinner in the family can weigh heavily and it is baffling that the people who rely on you to feed, clothe and shelter them sometimes don't get that that comes with a price... I resent my work when it keeps me from my family, but it breaks my heart to be criticized for putting in the extra time when I am already stressed and putting in those extra hours to keep a job that pays the bills.

My SO is out of the door between 5:30am - 6am and home anywhere from 7pm-8:30pm.
He works in automotive and commutes over a hundred miles round trip every day.
Mine also has "side projects" on his days off. He tries to let me know how his day off will be so he can make time for the family or bonding with our daughter.
I just adapted. I knew he wasn't a 9-5 guy when I met him, so we just learned to work it out. Hang in there! =)

.

I want to encourage you to make your husband's homecoming such a joy to him that he looks forward to walking in the door everyday. Train your children to greet him with enthusiasm. Try to make sure the house is inviting, you have either delicious smelling food or candles burning. Greet him with peace and a kiss, glad that he is finally home with his precious family.
My husband gets home around 6 every night, when he works outside of the home. When he was in the AF (he retired last year), he would be gone by around 6-7am, home between 6-7pm. It was just the way it was. We adapted. We communicated during the day (still do), to keep in touch with each other. We'll send emails to each other with just little notes to each other in them. Little things to keep in touch during the day, to let each other know we are thinking of the other.
I want to encourage you to tell your husband how thankful you are for his work ethic, that he is willing to work so hard to provide for you and the children. Do you know what a gift that is? I am sure you really do know. I also know how hard it can be on some days to have the job of raising the children. You both are working hard to fulfill the goals you have together. You both need encouragement in your particular roles in your family. Start by encouraging him.
Blessings!

I feel for you. My kids are 5, 4 and 2. My husband is out the door before we wake (usually on the 6:30 bus or something like that... I don't get up with him) and he gets home on a good day at 5:30, most days at 6 and lately (often) at 6:20. The kids go to bed at 7:30. On top of that, he travels for work. He was gone most of August and 1/2 of September.. we are coming up on "travel season" in our house and I need to start ramping up for him to be gone for a week at a time for meetings outstate. I'm just happy that his last bus of the day actually gets him home before the kids are in bed! Otherwise who knows what time he'd be home (we are a one car family so he has to ride the bus).

It's hard.

I have a friend who complains when her husband a) doesn't leave when he is supposed to in the morning and screws up her routine by being there when the kids get up and b) doesn't get home at 4:30 when he's supposed to. It is REALLY hard for my to have much sympathy for her. :)

Do your best, take it easy on yourself, and make mac and cheese for dinner at least once a week.

J.

Although I'm not a stay at home mom, I am a school teacher, so during the summers I am for two months. I know exactly how you feel, waiting and watching the clock until he comes home. It's frustrating, especially because you want to see him and get in some good family time. Even though he's a workaholic, most men are wired differently. They feel they are being a good father by providing for the family (which, of course we know, is a great way to help your family). I totally understand long hours. As a teacher, I am salaried, but there is always work to do. It took my husband about two years to understand that I can work until 10:00 at night and my work wouldn't be done. What I learned to do is get as much done as I feel comfortable with, then go home. Maybe that's how your husband works. He has to get "enough" done. If you does come home earlier, my guess is he'll be anxious or worried about the work he didn't do. If this is a major stresser, and he truly is a workaholic, maybe try to see counseling to help with the issue.

I can definitely relate. My husband is out of the house around 5:30 and comes home around 6:30. It is hard, we have a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. Mine is also incredibly amazing when he is home as well. It is frustrating because when he gets home we do dinner, baths, then bed. After the kids go down I work on homework most nights so our time is limited. Just ride the wave, these hours won't last forever.

Leaves 7:30, home 6:30ish. Stinks but what can you do?

Being the sahm that is what we are I don't rely on hubby unless it is an emergency.Try getting on a schedule if you don't have one already all I can say is he is working be greatful for that & yes things can be alot worse so take it one day @ a time if you need a helping hand when he gets home let him know.I had many years that hubby was out the door by 6 wasn't home till midnite or later then back to work on a few hrs of sleep he missed his 1st son growing up he soon realized what he was missing after baby #2,now he comes home after we have eaten our dinner since i'm on a meal schedule between 5 & 5:30 he doesn't mind if he comes home before then we'll have a family dinner.
There are many moms who are envious of us because they have to work & can't be a sahm so step back relax & really think is it really that bad to be a sahm

I work from 9-5, leave the house between 8 and 8:15 and am usually home by 6, so I spend up to 10 hours away. My husband works from 3-11 2 week days and he works from 1 to 11 on Sundays, so he is also gone between 9 and 11 hours, depending on the day. We overlap, so I can't help with the staying home thing, except to say that the days he does not work and I do he is very worn out by the time I get home since he's been full-time daddy/homemaker all day. I am also salaried but if I get a client call at 4:55, I take it, even it means I'm on the phone for another 45 minutes. It does stink a bit when that happens. That is awesome that he is such a help when he is home, so I would just suggest trying to find ways to cope and just plan on the latest normal time. We always call each other at work at least once every day and say hi to the kids, whoever is home with them, so we have a chance to reconnect, breathe, and give the other one a heads' up about what kind of night it is going to be.

I know when I'm home and my husband is working, I'm looking forward to seeing him come through the door at around 4:00. It's fine until then, but at 4:00 I start looking forward to him being there. Maybe you and your little ones can go out and have lunch with your DH a couple of afternoons a week. You don't have to go to a restaurant, you could just pack like a picnic lunch. That way your day is broken up a bit by this outing and it may tire the little ones out enough to take a really good nap that afternoon. In these economic times, I don't think this is the time to cut back on hours or productivity. Your husband has a lot of responsibility making sure the family is financially solvent and he needs all the support you and your children can give him.

My husband is salary too and has the same hours as your husband. He is required to be there for 9 hrs even though he is salary that's part of his job description. I know how hard it can be. I also feel bad when he wakes up in the dark and goes in earlier to try to be home at a decent time for us. They don't like it either but have to do it in order to have the jobs they have to be able to let us stay home with our kids. Hang in there.

Hubby is in the IT field. He leaves for work at 9pm and gets home usually around 9-930am. He sleeps during the day and wakes up usually around 5pm.

Also on salary, we've gone through phases:

- 5am-10pm for first 3 years after kiddo was born (ugh)
- 5am-6pm (during the year I had to be at work at 3pm, he was SUPPOSED to be home by 2pm, but he never was)
- 10am - 3am for the next 3 years

Also, once or twice a year or so for the 2nd set of 3 years he'd be touring for 2 weeks - 3 months.

I'm somewhat stupid... so I didn't realize how much he was just avoiding me/us and didn't want to be home/ be a part of a family. I sooooo naively thought that this was just the whole "young family starting out" thing. Not. He didn't want to be here. Period. Until last year whole weeks and even months would go by where he only saw his son awake for a few hours (2-4) a week.

This last year he has been making an *enormous* effort to actually be here. He's home while kiddo is awake now an average of 10-15 hours a week.

My husband is in the restaurant industry(management, chef) and is gone 12-16 hours a day sometimes 6-7 days a week but always at least 5 days. When he does get days off it's not on the weekend but during the week, and he is always working all holidays except Christmas day and all birthdays. So the parenting and help I get with my children is little to none. But I knew this going in.

Well I can feel your pain and angst. My husband starts work at 6:00 a.m and if we are lucky he will make it home by 8:30 p.m. He is also salary so the company definitely takes advantage of that. He also has to work some Saturdays and/or Sundays so we don't get much time to be together. :(

I think that instead of looking at this like "what times do other's DH's get home?", you might want to sit down with him, (not when he walks in the door, but some other time, maybe planned out ahead of time like on the weekend or after the kids are put to bed).

Many men (still) define themselves by their work. And obviously work means a lot to him. Instead of attacking that, let him know that you appreciate that he is working so hard to allow your kids to stay home with a parent instead of going to daycare (and if that is what you wanted to do, well you got it, and he may not understand why you're not happy with what you got, so to speak). Let him know that you understand that work is really important to him. But also, with kindness and love, let him that you miss him (because I'm sure you do!), and the kids miss him, and that you are needing him at home. Try to work out a solution--if his hours are going to be somewhat flexible (you don't know when he'll be home), ask him if he can at least let you know by noon what time he thinks he'll be home; or, instead of that (he may not like the "having to check in w/ the wife" thing?), tell him that for the sake of the kids, & you, you need to get dinner on the table by X time (try to be somewhat flexible with the time, but do have a set time), and you'll be having dinner at that time, and if he's late, then you'll set a plate aside for him to reheat when he gets home.

Also, try to look at it as quality vs. quantity--you are probably never going to get him to give up the priority he has set for work, but if he can up the quality of time he spends at home - making sure to play with the kids for 30 min after dinner, and then after the kids go to bed, the 2 of you work together on cleaning up the kitchen, or just sit and enjoy a glass of wine and talk, or fold clothes together on the couch while watching a favorite show.

And then, also bring up the weekend--if he's not home much during the weeknights, well, then he can spend lots of time with the kids on the weekends -- and you can spend time doing other stuff. Schedule the time, (be nice about it, LOL. :), but do schedule it; if it's just "yes, I promise to spend more time with the kids" but nothing is written down or scheduled, then I found that it often doesn't happen (or at least not till DH sees I'm 5 seconds from losing my mind and "emergency me-time" is needed).

I agree that it doesn't really matter what time anyone else's husband gets home. (My hubby starts work at 5:00 a.m. and is generally home by 3-3:30--sometimes as late as 5:30 or 6). What matters is that while he is at HIS job, you are at YOURS. Yes, it's a long day for you and it also is for him.
Try to reach a compromise that, say, on Wednesdays, he leaves work by 4 or 5. Then, at least you can count on THAT O. evening.

My husband has a job that he either works 2-10 or 8-4 during the week. On the weekends he works 9-5/6. He has a job that does not require overtime or extra hours.

When I met him that is what he worked. Then he took a promotion and worked a more typical 9-5 job and would start around 7 or 8 and would not be done until 7 or 9 at night, he hated it and returned to his previous job. I liked him not working weekends or late at night like he currently does. Now I am the one that works crazy hours and never knows when I will get home, but luckily only part-time.
I wish we both worked traditional hours but then we would not get to do the work we love.

When I am home with my son all day alone I can't wait for 4:13 to come around. I understand how you feel it must be tough.

Could he start earlier? I know 7:30 is early but if he went in around 6:00 he would probably get a lot of work done because it is quiet and then he could come home earlier. Or maybe he could commit to coming home two days a week at 5:00. Does he need that extra time to finish the work? Does he take long lunches? Is there a way you could help him to be more productive at work? Or could he come home early but maybe finish his work in the evening, at least once or twice a week?

Well..please don't take this the wrong way, I only mean to be positive. BUt my boyfriend and I have 20 mo. old twins together, and our relationship works pretty good. He walks out the door just about the time we are getting up, so it's pretty much a good-bye kiss and a bye-bye. This is usually around 8:30 am. He will then get home between five and five thirty, but even with him gone only 7-8 hours (at the most) I find that those last couple hours really start to wear on me, and it would be easiest if he is home by 3 pm, lol..even though that wouldn't work because of his job, and the way he makes his money.
But you could always try doing an afternoon routine with your little ones to save your sanity. We will drag a crib or toddler mattress into the living room, and then jump on it, go play outside where they can run (though this may be tricky if you live somewhere without a yard like we do) play some fun music and dance with them...helps burn off energy (esp. for the kiddos) and keeps them happy...plus its healthy for everyone, and is a great stress reliever for mom. Get creative, and do what seems to be easiest if it's a situation that can't be helped for some reason.
Good luck...I can't imagine being alone with your kiddos that long is a breeze..I may somewhat understand but I get some daycare because I am a student lol.

My husband is in construction sales -- windows and doors specifically -- well, guess when many people want him to come out and give them a quote on their house? After they get home from work, of course! So some days my husband doesn't walk through the door until 9 p.m. Most days it's 7-7:30 p.m.

Our daughter is now almost 6, so she can do more things for herself and doesn't need to rely on me to do entertain her constantly. But when she was the ages of your children, oh boy, that was a different matter altogether. I was exhausted doing it all by myself (hats off to all those single parents out there!!!!) and counted the minutes until my husband would arrive home -- although most of the time it was after our daughter had gone to bed and I'd done everything on my own.

Hang in there, it does get easier and easier the older your children are ...
And the only working people that I know of that get home at 4 or 5 p.m. are those that are teachers :)

Oh, P.S. my husband ALSO works every other Saturday -- not by his choice.

You are not alone. While, I'm not a SAHM (I wish I could be!!!!!!) I get home around 5:30 and my husband usually continues to work until 7 or 8. Just in those few hours I feel your pain. It's hard to cook and care for my 2 year old while I'm so beat from work. I hope it the future things get easier for you!!

In my eyes you are very luck.....My husband leaves at 5:30 am and isn't home until after 7pm. He works 12 hour days 4-5 days per week. They have been in overtime the past few weeks working 70+ hours a week, so I havn't really seen him at all. He is off on Sunday and I have been working Sundays :(

My husband leaves every morning between 5-6 am to work out or do Yoga to help him with the stress of his job and never gets home earlier than 8 sometimes later. Not to mention work dinners it seems once a week where he doesn't get home till after midnight. It is a long lonely day sometimes but I'm just thankful he has a good salary in this economy. We have a almost 5, almost 2, and I'm due with our 3rd at the end of March, so we'll see how I do with 3 kids and his schedule.

Mine works 3rd shift so he leaves about 9:15 PM and gets in going on 7AM right as the kids are getting up for the day. He heads straight to sleep and gets up in the afternoon so it's kinda like he keeps a 'normal' day schedule so he can still spend time with me and the kids.

S.

Well in my house the schedule used to be
8am-??? at work then from work to ??? band practice 4nights a week
Fri/Sat show nights
Sun family time and one night a week he was there right after work when ever that was. At that time he drove for UPS and when the job is DONE so is he but he can not go home until then ... he was often the first or one of the first done but he had to help the others that were slacking before coming in b/c he was technically "part time" but he worked more hours than some of the full time guys frequently ... does not bother me when overtime is over 30/hr.
Present day diff state he now goes to work at 530 am and comes home when the job is done that can be anywhere from 1pm to 9pm depends on the season/holiday and other things ... currently he is not in a band but is still looking for the right fit. I do not mind having the marjority of the house on my shoulders at this time for two reasons 1. when I NEED him to come home he will skip practice and 2. HE is the only one working right now.

My husband leaves at 630am and comes home around 8pm. They moved his work a little further. It stinks! You are not alone. I do know how you feel though. I wish i had more time with him.

I don't think your husband sounds like a workaholic honestly -- that would mean that he's working til midnight or something. Being the sole breadwinner in this economy, he's probably just doing what he has to do to get his projects done and well. Just because you're salaried doesn't mean you get to put in set hours and leave unfortunately! I'm glad you're thankful for his job which makes it possible for you to stay home with the kids and while I know that's a hard job too, it's also a blessing. Right now my hubby's unemployed and I have to work a job I hate b/c there are no other options at this time. Be thankful for what you have!