153 answers

What Made You Decide to Have a Third Child?

I am a mother of 2 daughters and am contemplating adding a third and final child to our family. We would be extremely happy to welcome another child into our life. I know how busy and expensive life is with 2 children and I wanted to find out how you made your decision to have another child and how you managed to "keep your head above water" having a newborn and 2 older children. Is having 3 children overwhelming?

7 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I appreciate the overwhelming response of people with their own stories of not just mere survival, but pure joy with their families made up of more than 2 children. I understand the limited amount of resources this planet has to offer us, and I assure you that this does play a factor in our decision. I, however, do as much as possible to be aware of it and play my part in saving the planet for my children to enjoy for many years to come. I know that if I did not have a third child, that 10 years down the road I would regret it and always wonder WHO that child would have been. I am not stuck on having another child just to try for a boy, but more to experience another personality. I don't think that raising 3 (or more) children is selfish, like some of those wrote, it is more about selflessness. If I wanted to be selfish, spreading my self thinner among my children would not be part of my plan. It has been so wonderful reading all the stories from people, young and old alike. I appreciate all the time you spent to share your story! Best wishes to all!

Featured Answers

I heard a friend say once,"You may one day regret NOT having another child. But you will NEVER regret having one".

3 moms found this helpful

We have three already and #4 on the way. I had always wanted more than two kids, and when #3 came along, he is just such a wonderful guy!! I think that the more children you have, the less you worry about some things, I find my third to be the most laid-back, the least needy of all of my kids. I hope #4 decides to follow in those footsteps. I love having a larger family than the "average", although trips to the grocery store are definitely a challenge!! Hope you go through with it - I think you won't regret it!

I have 3 kids. My 2 girls are 5 & 7. I also have a 3 year old boy. I got pregnant before we decided to have a 3rd. At first I felt overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was much harder going from 1 to 2 kids then 2 to 3. My son has always been more mellow then the girls. I just love having 3 kids. It is fun, challenging at times, but that way with with any kids. I also work part time, but it has always seemed to work out with the kids. I wouldn't change a thing & feel so blessed to have 3 healthy, loving children!!

More Answers

Dearest J.,
When my second girl was 2 1/2 I wanted another baby very badly. My husband was done. We both thought we only wanted 2 kids. I prayed for a whole year that God would either change his heart or take the desire from me. Well God changed his heart. We had our 3rd girl. After that, they just kept coming. (Yes I know how it happens.)
I have the belief that they are gifts from God and let Him decide how many. We have 7 now, 5 girls and 2 boys.
It is extremly busy. I am working all the time. I am a SAHM and I home school them. I will have 5 in school this year and one will be starting high school.
When I think of what my life would be with only 2 or 3, I would have way too much free time on my hands. Time that could get me into trouble.
I wish you much love and busyness in your future.
By God's Grace,
Stac

Oh my family thinks we are crazy. We had to tell them to keep their comments to themselves, that they were hurtful. It is sad that they don't find joy in children. The world tells us that 2 are enough, but we don't have to listen to them.

4 moms found this helpful

Hi, J.,
For years I was an adoption consultant. I have interviewed hundreds of moms. One thing I learned was that each woman had a knowing of how many children made her complete and that until she "found" her child whether by birth of by adoption, she felt restless and empty on a certain level. I heard your heart in your question. Trust your mama heart. I never saw a mother go wrong about the number of kids she was to mother.

Blessings,
S.

3 moms found this helpful

I can only tell you why I decided to have only one child, and why she, in turn, has decided to have only one.

This earth is getting terribly crowded, and conflicts, demonstrations, and even wars are beginning to break out over limited resources. People, and their babies, in underdeveloped countries suffer as first-world countries move in, extract their resources, decimate their local economies and pollute their land, and give little to nothing back. None of us participate in this deliberately, of course. But it seems an important thing to consider.

Can we find a way to be content, to decide to stop short of fulfilling every possible dream, in order for others to have a life that meets more of their basic needs? For the sake of innocent children everywhere, I dearly hope so.

3 moms found this helpful

J.,

I've taken some time to read through some of your responses. With all due respect to some responses, I say, go for #3 if you can handle it and afford it. It's a decision to be made between you and hubby. I'm a SAHM of 3, and lovin' it. The first boy is 9, the second (girl) is 7, and the last (girl) is 4. Just expressing my own opinion here, but considering the earth and overpopulation, global warming, and such is hogwash. I say this because the earth belongs to God. Absolutely nothing happens without His permission. If He wants you to have more children, you will be blessed with more. That's just how it is. It's wonderful to see my kids' interactions. Initially I wanted 2, and my husband wanted 6. I told him I'd have the first 2, and he can have the last 4. But 3 was the clincher, and there are no regrets.
Just wanted to add my 2 cents.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

3 moms found this helpful

I see you have recieved a ton of replies and so I hesitated to add my response hence the tardiness.
I agree that having another child is more selfless than selfish. I have six and honestly am a bit offended by those who disapprove of me having more than two. I’m not trying to ignite any sort of debate, just trying to convey where I’m coming from. Those who are concerned about overpopulation can rest assured that The Population Bomb was a dud. In his book, Paul Ehrlich predicted that hundreds of millions of people would starve in the 70’s. That not only didn’t happen, but now approx. 6.66 billion people live longer, eat better, and have a higher standard of living than ever. I do agree that we need to take better care of the world we live in, but I think consumerism is what needs to be apprehended. In our family we recycle, try not to buy pre-packaged things, and try to purchase fewer quality toys instead of lots of cheap toys that will break soon and need to be thrown away. We do drive a bigger vehicle, but honestly I use less gas than I did when I drove a car. Taking 6 children out in public is a bit daunting so we don’t go out as much.
Every time I’ve announced that I’m pregnant (starting with my second pregnancy) my mom has given me a hard time. She loves all my children dearly now though and wouldn’t trade any of them for the world. Ultimately it’s not my mom’s decision, it’s ours. I would say that going from two to three was the hardest (but only in the sense of going out in public) as that is when we were outnumbered by our children for the first time. As far as the extra expense, we haven’t really noticed a difference from child to child (except when we had twins). Of course if you compared our grocery bill to that of a family with only one child ours’ would be considerably higher, but there always seems to be enough to go around. My older children love having younger siblings to dote over and the younger children just eat up all the loving attention they get from their older siblings. It’s a lot of (joyful) hard work for me, but I have had so many of those “Aha” moments where I learn a little more about the love our Lord has for us and the beauty in sacrificing oneself for others. I am sorry this has gotten so long and I hope I haven’t come across as preachy.
God Bless,
J.

3 moms found this helpful

I heard a friend say once,"You may one day regret NOT having another child. But you will NEVER regret having one".

3 moms found this helpful

J.,
This topic is near and dear to my heart. I have three kids: 7 yrs girl, 4yrs, boy and 1 yr. boy. After having our second child my husband and I talked about and wanted a third. However, as #2 got older we stopped talking about it (I think we were afraid of how much work another child would be!). Well, #3 was a surprise to us and we are so happy to have him. If we sat down to discuss it, I'm sure we would have decided that 2 was just fine, so this worked out best for all of us. Yes, it is a lot of work and a lot of laundry. Yes, we have to "switch gears" and divide our time between 3, which is difficult. But, our third is just so much fun. He is 1 and he thinks he is about 5. He loves to hug and kiss his siblings.
In case you're interested, we are done. Three is enough. After the birth of #3 our family felt complete (which was bittersweet). In contemplating a third I suggest you consider the age difference. There are benefits to having them close together as well as benefits to having more space between them. Also, think about how much help your husband is willing and able to give. Especially if the kids are close in age, you will need his help more than ever.
D.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi J.

I have 4 boys of my own and its actually an easier transition (I think) from 2 to 3 than 1 to 2
I decided to take on my brothers 3 girls 3 years ago and now I have 7 at home.
I work full time and run my own business as well. Life is busy and expensive but if your husband supports you and helps out then you go for it!!! 1 more baby every time is just tons more joy!!
grandpas and great-gramma's come around right away too for the most part.
pray also, and guidance will come.

Blessing to you and your family
C.

2 moms found this helpful

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.