For Those Moms with 3 Children

Hi L.~
I have 3 boys ages 9months to 8 years old. We are so glad we had another one. We actually never even thought of the money/space angle. And we had to go buy everything all over again because there was a time when we didn't think we'd be able to have 3. But having the 3rd one just seemed so right. I'd do it all over again even knowing that money is really tight and the house it a little cramped. That is nothing compared to looking into those baby blue eyes and seeing that precious smile. If we waited for money we would have never had kids at the rate we're going. lol I have my hands full especially since we added a puppy to the mix a few months ago. I don't advise getting a puppy unless you want 2 more "babies". lol Personally we would love to have more kids but my body can't take any more and it would be way too much money wise to add more kids....but I would love another one. lol

Hi L.!
I had to respond to this as my girlfriend and I were just talking about this the other day! I have 3 kids....a girl who is 7, a boy who is 5 and another boy who is almost 2. We are so happy that we had the third although he was completely NOT PLANNED. Having said that, I do believe that insanity set in on #3!! I was keeping my head above water with 2, but consider myself to be a nutcase at 3!! I don't know what others would say, but I really feel like 3 is A LOT more than 2!

As far as worrying about money, time, college, small house....you really can't let those things make your choice. If you don't feel complete as you say and you have the love to give, those things will come. (just my opinion!)

Good luck in what you decided!!
N.

I want 3, but now I only have 2. I wanted kids 3 years apart from each other . . . you know birth 3 and 6 type of thing. My boys are now (almost, in a few more weeks) 5 and 2. We would love to have #3 but having just moved in with my in-law because hospital bills became very large do to both our son's were in the hospital at different times for different things, now is not a choice for us. I think and hope one day we will have our third child . . . but until then I am happy with my two wonderful little men.

My cousin has 4 and she say it isn't any harder then having 2.

Good luck with your decision.

Hi L.!
I was just reading all the other responses and I am SHOCKED!
All these other Mothers's are very generous in their advice and opinions, and that's great! It's true that the third child brings a new dynamic to your family. It is different even from having 2 or 4; having an odd number of children versus an even number. I grew up in a family of 9 children and I have 3 of my own. We have fostered a few teenagers, as my boys got older.

Having a third child to because you don't feel "complete" set off sirens in my head. Being a parent is certainly a demanding occupation and the most important job anyone can have. Are you looking for something more to fill up your days or is there some reason to believe that your family is supposed to have another person? If you are pre-ordained, by whatever higher power you might recognize, to have another child, it will happen. Good Luck!
If you are hoping that the third child will be a specific gender, good luck again! Those two questions aside, please consider the position of your current children. How will the new baby affect THEM, financially, socially, spiritually, and physically?
After we made the decision to accept the third child that we had not planned, those were the primary concerns; "okay God, how do I feed, clothe, and nuture THIS child when I was really struggling with the first two?" I had to stay home with them, which made me unhappy, at first. They were sick all the time with ear and sinus infections. The youngest was always getting hurt, trying to keep up with the big kids. Two of them were always fighting (they rotated, so it was never the same two). When they got to be school age, we were never alone again! Our house was filled with children. We have had the honor and pleasure of being host family to foriegn exchange students and fostering our childrens teenaged friends who were at risk of not completing high school. We had to learn to dance together, for all the weddings we get invited to!
Some of these things may have happened with just two children. Many of them would not have, because I would not have stayed at home. It has been a hard road, that I would walk again. Pray about it. Think about it.
Good Luck!
B.

Dear L.,
I am not sure you want my opinion, I have 5! We live in a 1000 square foot ranch with maybe an additional 400 sq ft downstairs as bedrooms for my oldest girls. So we have 5 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, and 7 people, plus their friends are always sleeping over. Crowded at times, definately! But I would not trade this life for anyone else's...

My oldest 3 are in state colleges, 2 commuting and one coming home on weekends. They work part time, and financial aid and student loans cover the rest.

My husband works full time, and i work 14 hours a week. We run a tight budget, but God has always provided what we need. We may not have the newest gadgets, but we have the basics and lots of love.

It took number 5 to make us feel our family was complete. No regrets at all. I loved being home with my kids. Follow your heart.

I have 3. I wanted a big family but the 3 came so quickly that I am done. I was happy with my 2 and very depressed once I found out I would be pregnat 3 years in a row!! But now looking at my daughter I am happy she pushed me to my limit. I had to stop my college classes and it will be longer before I can get back to work. I am staying home with them until school. If you are thinking about it think about this... is there something missing in your family and a fish or dog just won't do to fill the missing space? Do you really want to be up all night again? Are you and your husband/boyfriend in full agreement and are you 100% he is being honest. I found that with my first it was planned and very happy my second was planned and little stress but very happy with my third the stress was too much, and it has been hard to get back to happy. I would not change it for the world though. I would do it again. My husband maybe surprised to hear it but if you feel your family is not complete then it is not.

i'm currently pregnant with my third so technically i probably should respond but i've always known i wanted 3 kids and couldn't imagine my life feeling complete without them. (doesn't hurt that i have two boys and this one is a girl HEHE)

Having 3 children really isn't as hard as you would expect yes i have 4 now but my youngest is on;y 1 week so i had 3 children for a long time and I really didn't find it much more expensive and yes it is a little harder but othing to bad my kids are all 5 and under and i would not change haveing them at all if anything i enjoied having 3 after 2 kids you get used to it and the 3rd is so much eaiser if you feel you want another don't worry about anything else just go for it because in the long run everything workd itself out

Hi L., ill tell ya having three kdis can be hard and yes it can make things like money and time tight though once you can handle 2 three is a cinch .. i wouldn't give mine up for anything i have three of my own as well as 2 step daughters and it makes for a full n complete life if u think three is in your cards then play em .. i wouldn't trade my 7 year old 5 year old and 9 month old for anything not even time hehe gl think about whats right for you and your fam maybe threes the right number but nows not the right time.. somthing for ya to think about

I think if you truely feel that you are destined for a third I think you should go for it. My youngest is 8 months, and my oldest is 2 1/2. I don't plan on having a third anytime soon, but possibly in the future. I want to wait until my youngest is atleast 3.

L.,
I am a mom of three, two girls and a boy. I didn't feel complete with two either and my husband desperately wanted a little boy. So we had the third and thank goodness it was a boy! I now feel totally complete. I think having three is no different than having two. Although the laundry sometimes gets the best of me:) And I am always saying "if we had the boy first, I would have only had one." He is very busy, something the girls never were. I would say go for it! Look at your situation right now, if you are in a place to have another one go for it. You will never want to give it back. And children most definately change your life for the better. Of course you can always go the "if it happens" route too! Good luck trying to decide.

I had gaps between my 3 - my oldest is now 19, my middle is 14, my "baby" is 8 (oh and they all want me to have another one!) It is crazy and chaotic but it is also wonderfully rewarding.

My best advice is to have a serious discussion with your spouse and see how you both feel about your family size now and then about adding another. Knowing that it will be a big time, money, everything commitment, if you still want to go forward, just do it! Love is the most important thing. And if you both want it, then I say just go for it.

Hi L..
If I were to take in money as a consideration, if doing it all over again, I'd still have my three - and I'll tell you why. I already had 2 sons and I really wanted a daughter. I hope that answers your question. :-)
H.

The truth is there are obvious challenges to having three, lack of "hand power" being 1. Money and all that come with time no matter how many children we have. If we had children when we had the perfect circumstances we'd wait forever. I have three and most of the time it's challenging and when it's really difficult I try to imagine my children grown, in college or bringing their families to visit! There is always difficulty in being a mom but joy is always somewhere close! I can't say I recommend having 3, not everyone should and I don't know you well enough, but if it's what you feel is right for you then you already know the answer because you know you'll do what it takes to care for your children and if you have the man to help you all the better. Good luck I wish you the best!

Hi L.,

I have 4 kids (under the age of 5)and I would encourage you to go for it! I think the change from 1 to 2 is most drastic... after that you get used to juggling, and you get used to the fact that you can't make everyone happy all the time, and I think it's good for kids to learn that. Staying home will give you more time to spend with them - that's the only thing that I think is really tough, finding one on one time with each child, but when you are home you have more time to cultivate that. Good luck with your decision!