What Is Wrong with Me? - Everett,WA

I think this is most definitely worth a discussion with your doctor as it could be some post partum depression setting in. The other suggestion I have is to shed any responsibilities that you don't HAVE to own. For example....see if you can recruit someone to help you with the baby showers. I know they are probably for close friends of yours, but if they are that close, they will understand that you are overwhelmed and that you can't add another thing to your plate.

I would also suggest getting more reliable childcare. Your parents (and maybe even you) may not want your daughter in a daycare, but if they aren't able to care for her and this is a major source of stress for you, then you need to come up with something more reliable so that you can check that off the list of things to worry about.

I will share that I can somewhat relate to what you're going through with the childcare thing. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December and had major surgery in January. I have a 4 year old (turned 4 two weeks before my surgery) and a 23 month old (who was 19 months at the time). I was not able to care for them by myself for more than 2 months and I am a SAHM. They were not in childcare because it was my job to take care of them, but I couldn't. They were in a preschool a couple of days per week, but I had to have a care calendar where people signed up to help me take care of them after school until my husband could get home. I also couldn't drive for 7 weeks, so I had to have people taking them to and from school and driving them to the people's houses where they were signed up to go after school. Logistically, it was absolutely crazy, but I was thankful for the help and we got through the worst of it. We ended up putting my youngest in daycare because I simply am not able to keep up with him and he is a lot happier there playing with his friends. I am in chemo now and actually, we have settled into a routine, but the bottom line is that you need to do what you need to do to be able to breathe. I didn't want to put my son in daycare and cried every day for the first couple of weeks, but he is so happy there and I know now that it is absolutely the right thing for our family right now. For me, it's temporary. When my chemo is over and life gets back to some sort of new normal, I will be able to keep them home again, but for now, it's what we have to do and he is perfectly fine! Don't think of daycare as the devil. I know I always had a bias against it because I wanted to be the one to raise my kids, but most of them are fantastic and really care about the kiddos. Just make sure you do your research and find one that you are comfortable with. Make random stops in during the day at different times to see how things are run. It gets easier over time, I promise.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. So, just shed as much as is reasonable, get in to see your doctor to be sure you don't need some meds temporarily and get your baby taken care of so that you don't have to stress about where she is and who is taking care of her and if she is staying on schedule. I can also sympathize with the birthday party thing. As I mentioned, my daughter was turning 4 right before my surgery and about 3 weeks after my diagnosis of cancer. We always have her party in early January because it is 3 days after Christmas and nobody is ever in town to have a party for her. I knew that wouldn't be possible this year because of my surgery and we were in the middle of trying to process that I even had cancer, so I literally sent out an email on a Tuesday to some of her friend's mommies and said we were having a party on Saturday for whoever could come. I ordered a cake and some pizzas and had some chips and a veggie tray. I was able to setup a tour at the local fire station on short notice (which my daughter had been begging to do) and then we came back to the house to eat and play outside. It was perfect! It was the least planning that had ever gone into one of her parties and it was just as much fun. If your daughter is turning one, then you don't need to plan anything big because she will just be overwhelmed. Just plan something with your family and maybe a couple of close friends, order some pizza or ask people to bring food (potluck style) and get her a little cake to smash in her face! Voila...party! If you're anything like me, it's so hard to imagine not planning down to every last detail, but please understand that she won't remember it and it's really all about spending time with her anyway.

If there is one thing I've learned through my ordeal so far, it is that I can't stress about the little things anymore because there are too many big things that truly need my attention, like my recovery! Just let the little things go and enjoy your family. I know it seems easier said than done, but you can do it! Take care of yourself and I wish you and your family many blessings.

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I find that when the panicky feeling sets in, it's often because I either did not eat enough early in the day, or I haven't exercised. In addition to the many commonsense recommendations below (see doctor, cut out extra activities, set bar lower) make sure you eat breakfast and lunch, and see if you can't work a 20-minute walk into your routine each day. Just 20 minutes. It will help you clear your head, and there is something about exercise that helps us handle stress that much better.

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I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. When it rains it pours and you are under too much stress. Just a thought: Have you thought about maybe getting a mother's helper? In regards to these 2 baby showers, do you have a friend, sister, a teen, older lady --anyone that you can delegate some or all of the duties to? It would be nice if you could find someone who has some free time on her hands who could help you out. I know some people love to be asked to help, it makes them feel needed. And, you are not asking for too much time here because school will be out in about 7 weeks. I also think you may have to set some boundaries here too. Prioritize the important things and delegate duties to someone who can help or back out of things (if that's possible). I have to agree with the other posters too. When you need a quick fix, antidepressants due the trick. I would call your doctor and explain your situation and see if you can be prescribed a mild antidepressant. It will take off some of the edge.

I hope things get better--soon:)

M.

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I'm so sorry to hear that life is so stressful for you! I haven't read through all the other responses to know if these things have been said already or not...

Are you taking good care of yourself? Getting enough sleep? Eating okay? Drinking enough water? Hopefully you are not like the rest of us surviving on caffine :) This is really important stuff, especially in times of stress. You won't be much good to anyone unless your needs are met first.

Have you talked to your primary care doc? You mentioned your baby, and as new parents we all sometimes feel overwhelmed, but your primary doc could help you decide if what you're feeling is related to post partum hormones. Are you taking any new medications (some can cause anxiety)? What else has changed in your life besides work? A stop off at the docs would cost you a couple of hours in time, but could substanially improve your life. Don't be afraid to go, as everything is confidential!

Hang in there honey! And don't be afraid to ask for help. You're worth it!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm sorry your going through this.. I TOTALLY understand though...
Different reason but same feelings... I know you said you don't have a lot of time but you should first try and get your hormones checked.... Just to make sure everything's in balance...

When this happened to me (unfortunately my end result was insomnia which is HORRIBLEEEEEEEEE), I first tried acupuncture (didn't do anything), then went and talked to a psychologist, and after none of that worked I got onto Zoloft... NEVVVVERRRRRRRR in my life have I taken pills for these types of things.. I was always "that" person that thought " somethings REALLY wrong with someone if they have to take those kind of meds to deal with life"..... But you know what, it's life... As we get older, more problems occur and more things come on our plates... I had to try out a couple different antidepressants to find the right one for "me".. and then it took about 3 weeks to start making a change with my mood, but you know what "it saved me"!!!!!! I feel SO much better now.... I am in NO WAY promoting this, I'm just telling you my story... I think you should definitely try other approaches first... I've read it's VERY common for women especially to go through depressed phases sometimes in our lives...

Good luck and know your not alone~

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First of all, take a deep breath and start chopping additional unnecessary things out of your life. Why do you have to have a birthday party for your daughter. How old is she? Will she know if you do not do something amazing for her. Why are you planning two baby showers? Can someone else do that?
Next, as far as teaching goes and behavior problems, that is part of having subs and being absent. And I know this because I am a sub (over twelve years), a teaching assistant and it shows what a good teacher you are that you are able to control the class while you are there. Your parents will have to understand that even though they are well intentioned you need someone available, healthy and reliable for the next two months. The fact that your mom had surgery should permit them to understand that. You are overwhelmed because you are not superwoman, perhaps a super human, a kind very smart wonderful mom, and teacher, but you are not a movie star who has millions of people available and the funds to go with it. You are human and it doesn't sound like you have anything wrong with you other than a lot of stress-some which can be eliminated. Like the shower stuff. Divvy it out to friends, relatives, etc. Babysitting,...line up names from church, neighbors, the community hall and daycares that are close. Find out who has drop ins. I know it is difficult to call and talk from school, so you will have to take an hour or so afterwards. What grade are you teaching? Have the students grade the papers themselves under your direction. Have them switch during class and correct their neighbors papers. Permit them to color or draw or something they like to do (why on earth are children not allowed to draw in classes anymore when they love it?) and correct them there right in the classroom. I got tired reading all that you do. You are a wonderful person who wants to do so much, but recognize that others can do some of this for you. Finding childcare is scarey...ask other teachers in your school who they use. I know it is hard, so try to get rid of some of these things in your life and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR IT. BEST WISHES TO YOU~!

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First of all, find a friend or two to take over the baby showers. No way can you do all of this, work and enjoy your daughter. So priorities are a must. Family, the one that lives under your roof, is first. Grandparents watching your daughter is great, but they are just that, grandparents. You don't say how old she is, but I'm assuming she not yet a year old. As long as they are willing and capable of keeping up with her, let them do so. It's the best bonding experience for all of them. If they are ill, you betcha that's going to be a problem, relying upon pregnant friends to care for your kids is not a good idea. Pregnancy can wonderful and wonder filled... I like wonder where I'm going to find the energy to get out bed this morning or I wonder if I can make it through the day without tossing my cookies, and there are many unexpected events in every pregnancy.. have two or three back-ups. It may be you'll have to find a family daycare that can accept drop-ins for those rare occasions. Many EAP's have lists of available family daycare providers. Check them out.

When it comes to your daughter's birthday, keep it simple. This is more about the adults this first birthday than the child, so a themed party with lots of kids is not necessary. She is the star of the show. Have a nice buffet brunch, lunch or dinner... make it potluck even... bake cupcakes and have a small cake for her to grab onto and play with. Kodak moment here. Don't overwhelm her or yourself. No more than a coupld of hours, she still needs her nap and you need your rest or class planning time.

Parenthood isn't for sissies. It's like a rose garden, beautiful, fragrant, delightful, but then there are some thorns and black mold to deal with, not to mention the pruning and feeding... but oh how beautful the garden!!!
This is the best time of your life. Take a deep breath. Ask your husband to pitch in an extra hour or two. I know nursing school is hard work, but this is a shared responsibility, it took 2 of you to create her, it takes two of you to raise and nurture her. And if you can, see if your parents will watch one weekend night a month so you and your husband can have a 3 hr break to go see a movie, go to dinner, but take time for one another. It'll work. Parents have been doing it for centuries. Before you know it, she'll be 18 and going off to college.

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Slow down and be in each moment. That sounds contrary to what you are feeling and wanting to do. But if you are truely alive in each moment then you will feel much more alive. Don't worry about the next moment or the next hour. It will always come when it comes. Be alive in the moment that you are living in. Especially when you are with your daughter and husband. That will be the easiest to do.

As a former grade school teacher, I know you can do it in the school room too, but you will have to use the timer to remind yourself when math or reading time is over. You will find that you will enjoy the actual act of teaching the children much more fun. Paper work will always be a chore. (sigh)

I wish you the best of parenting. Good luck.

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Hi C.,

You are not alone. I am working full-time and have 3 kids and am going in 100 different directions also and somedays all I want to do is cry.

What I would suggest is to start with prioritizing. Write everything down and cross just one thing off your list a day.

For the baby showers, can you delegate? You order the cake, and let someone else plan the games or decorations or food.

For the birthday party, it looks like your daughter will be 2. How about cake at 7:00 at your house one night? Or meet at at a local pizza place. Or, she's 2....make it with just you guys and maybe the grandparents. No need to go all out.

Congratulations on teaching - such an important job!!! Could you request a personal leave while utilizing your sick leave? If you visit a dr/counselor and they feel that you need time-off, it becomes medical leave. You can even request leave share where donated sick time can be used if that's available in your district (ask HR). Also, sometimes districts offer plans where counseling is available for free (health & wellness).

Lastly, journal. It will help let everything out. Life gets overwhelming, but it's then that we need to step back and say what's important right now?

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Ask someone to help. Any help, even just an to lend an ear, can help. Give up the baby showers, I'm sure someone else can do them, or help you with them. Hang in there, I've been where you are. Really. I never thought things would get better, they did.
Even if a friend or neighbors makes a casserole for you, that's help. Child care is difficult, my Mom also watched my kids for me, and when she was unable to I got stressed. Take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that the school year is nearly over and so many parents work all summer. Then give your baby a hug.

I'm so sorry for your stress and having to leave your baby. I know that must be incredibly hard. I'm so glad to hear that your parents are able to keep your daughter, and that they don't want her in daycare. What a wonderful place for her to be, with people who love her! What a gift!

I want to encourage you to cut out the things you can. Have someone else do the things like baby showers. You should not put those things on your plate. You don't have room for them. I know it is so hard to say no to things like that, but you need to do it for you and your family. And, you didn't say how old your daughter is (at least if you did, I missed it), but I assume she's 1 or 2. Seriously, she doesn't need a birthday party. You can have a special dinner, or have your parents over or something like that. But, you don't need a big shindig for a baby. She won't remember it. Love on her, tell her how glad you are that she's your daughter, buy her a few presents, a cake, balloons. But seriously, children's parties these days are a bit crazy. Why do we put such burdens on ourselves? I'm not sure about all of your workload, about what you can cut out/back on. Do you have to do a newsletter? The rest of the work-related tasks seem necessary though. Cut out what you can, to the basic requirements. Spend that time you've freed up loving your family. It's so hard to put the stresses aside. You might consider taking some cammomilla. That is a natural calming herb/tea. You can also take it in homeopathic form.

A few suggestions:

Realize things are not falling apart if you are not there. They may not run as smoothly as you like, but it will be okay and you are entitled to time off.

Ask for help. Anything you can delegate or live without........don't do. Learn to let go of certain things. For example. Don't clean the house as often. A little dust won't hurt you. In other words if you are a Susie Homemaker type.....let that go.

Have designated times with your daughter and ignore everything else.

Realize you can't please everyone all the time and make some changes that will relieve YOUR stress. If daycare is the answer, so be it.

Here is a link to a natural stress tablet:
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...

If you need some nutrition suggestions let me know. This could help too.

Sounds like me. :) Too much to do, no time to do it. Always something to worry about. I work full-time and juggle the kids from home. Not an easy task. I'm constantly trying to find childcare for the times I have to set up meetings and phone calls. I know how it is.

At times I feel like my head's going to pop off. Then I realize that I'm taking on everyone's burdens again and that I am only one person. I take one thing at a time and do my best. I take a mini-break and play with my kids, or enjoy the sunshine. Then I get back to it. If I can, I call on others to help. My Mom is a retired teacher and actually has been hired by other teachers to grade papers. She's happy to help. So, that might be an option to consider. You probably should look into a more reliable daycare option too. There are wonderful providers out there who are responsible and won't leave you hanging.

Anyway, I feel for you. I think you should get help for those showers you are planning too. I'm sure you really want to do them, but that sounds like a ton of work to me. Ask another friend to help out at the very least.

So basically I think we both should ask for more help. Good luck!

When I felt like this, my Dr put me on an antidepressant for 6 months. I felt SO much better - like the hair standing up on the back of my neck could finally relax. Another thing you might want to have checked out are your thyroid levels. People who are hyperthyroid have a very hard time calming down, and rapid heart palpitations are a symptom.

My heart breaks for you! I can understand how you are feeling. You just want to care for your daughter, and you have a classroom of other peoples kids that you are caring for instead. This is a hard situation! But my advice would be to let go of those expectations to do it all perfectly. Do not plan the showers, hand it off to someone else, do not do a big birthday, but a smaller family one, and if things fall apart when you miss a day at work, so be it! You cannot be everyone's everything, you can only be all you can for your family, and that is the most important thing. I watch two little boys and it has been really hard for me. I want to give my all to my girls, so yes, I give the best care I can to the boys, but I give my heart to my girls, and if that means dropping something someone else needs me to do, I drop it. This has been a really hard lesson for me, but I am slowly feeling better each day about my life circumstances! Hang in there, and just simplify for the next two months as much as you can! You are being spread too thin!

Hang in there mama! I’ve totally been there. Here are some things that have helped me get through some of the rough times.
1. Yoga has been an incredible release for me. It is my time to relax and start over. I feel like I get a restart every time I go and I look forward to it. Check out www.corepoweryoga.com They have a work for trade program where you can clean the studio once a week for a couple hours in exchange for free, unlimited yoga.
2. Anti-depressants can help in the short-term to help you get back up on your feet, or long-term if you need them to maintain balance and stability in your life. Millions of people are on medications, so try to have judgment on yourself.
3. An alternative treatment for depression and anxiety is an herbal supplement called Luminex. Do some research and look into it further. It contains natural ingredients including St Johns Wart, griffonia seed, folate, and vitamin B12 that help with depression and anxiety. My husband and I both started taking it last month and we noticed a difference within a couple of days. Let me know if you are interested or have any questions.

I would suggest that you get all your different hormone levels checked. This would include your thyroid levels too. If you do not have enough progesterone it is like having stress filled PMS all the time. Second, schedule some "me" time. Go and get a massage and a pedicure or whatever makes you feel good. A facial sounds wonderful! Live life one day at a time. Things are going to happen and at the worst time but worrying will not help. Learn to say NO! If you can't do it without the undue stress then why do it. Being a working mother is very stressful. I am a SINGLE working mother and I get very stressed because I am the one to keep the family together. Do yoga! Stretching and meditation are great. Think positive thoughts.... Good luck!!

I'm right there with you! Same job, same situation. You may want to talk to someone, like a professional, but remember it will end soon and then a little time off for you and little one!

I know exactly how you feel. And you are not alone. My mom takes care of my kids, I work full time, it's crazy hard. I feel guilty about missing kids but don't have a choice. My solution= I talked to my doctor, she said it was anxiety and prescribed low dose anti-anxiety medicine. It wasn't my first choice but it has helped. I'm able to prioritize better, I don't get as overwhelmed, and i don't get as sick because i don't feel as stressed. You might want to try it, it will make your like more enjoyable.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I was going through the same thing pretty much, and I called my doctor. She referred me to a counselor and prescribed Prozac to me. I know you do not have time for the counselor, but maybe the medicine would help.
I hope you feel better soon!

I second the thyroid suggestion. That is not to say you don't have good reasons to be overwhelmed -- you do. However, low thyroid can add to the mix.

Hi C., I understand. I own an insurance agency, married, 3 kids (one special needs), house, 2 dogs, fish...you get the picture. I sort of stumbled across a liquid vitamin/mineral suppliment that actually has 10 formulas in one. It cost about $1 per day and is worth every penny. My family and I have been taking it and have really noticed a difference. Its helped me sleep better and I could focus enough to clean out 1/3 of the garage by myself (if you knew me you would think that was a miracle!). It's helped my husband with his stress level. Worse case? We are all getting our vitamins in! There is also a no gimic FREE business opportunity with it and I have been using the checks to pay off bills and save for a house. So check it out: http://www.YummyLiquidVitamins.com Let me know if you have any questions and I hope you are feeling better soon!

C.,
My heart goes out to you!
Before you consider Rxs, you might want to try Shaklee's Stress Relief Complex and B complex. You can read about them at http://www.shaklee.net/healthforlife
There are lots of relaxation techniques you could try and cds to listen to. Exercise is also a great stress reducer.
Do you have to plan the baby showers? Maybe someone else can do that. If you were my friend and feeling so stressed, I wouldn't want you to take that on.
Good luck and God bless.
V.

To me, you are dealing with alot at the moment and you are very stressed.You have to set your priorities right, if you did not like to go work full time, why do it. It makes you feel guilty leaving your daughter home. Try get another job that's part time, you could start a day care facility in your house if you have room, that way you are still a teacher and home taking care of your daughter. It will also save you worrying about who is next going to look after your child now that your mum is not well.
You could find jobs to work at home, there lots on the internet. All you need is your computer.

Try relax more, the situation could be worse and all this shall pass, no situation lasts forever. I do pray a window opens for you so you can be happy again.

BREATHE, sister...AAAaaahhhh...

I used to teach kids yoga (and was a 3rd grade teacher for awhile) and I have recently been teaching my son (3 years old) the "Peace Breath". He loves it and it really helps him calm down! Just take a deep breath in, relax your body, especially your jaw and your shoulders (major centers for tension) and whisper "peace" as you breathe out. Try this every time you start to feel flustered or do it together with your daughter to connect.

Another wonderful breathing exercise that helps you balance and calms your nervous system is "Alternate Nostril Breathing" or Nadi Sodhana. I just googled it and there are several sites that explain the technique, even a video. This helps me the most when I get frazzled.

Or try the "Take 5" breath, and teach it to your students too. Breathe in for a count of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and breathe out (5, 4, 3, 2, 1). You can use your fingers to count or not. (Kids like to do this).

As someone else said, be in the moment. I know that's hard because my mind constantly races too with everything that needs to get done, especially as I am trying to go to sleep. I know you are probably exhausted, but try reading a novel before you go to sleep to clear your head.

Good luck and here's to summer vacation, coming soon to a school near you!

Hi,
Please seek some help. It sounds to me that you might have Postpartum Depression. I suffer from this and once I got a better understanding of it, my life (overwhelmed, stress, anger and other emotions) got much better. This is a very real disease. Check out the Postpartum Support INternation website http://www.postpartum.net/Get-the-Facts.aspx for more information. There is a support group in Everett that you should look into:
Beyond the Birth
Everett
Drop-in support group for those experiencing postpartum mood disorders.

Time: 11:00 am - 12:00 pm
2nd and 4th Wednesdays of each month, excluding holidays.

Location: Kindred Spirit Learning Center
2804 Grand Avenue, Suite 311
Everett, WA, 98201.

Facilitated by Juliana Nason, MA, LMHC
and Kariena Brosten, RN.

Contact Juliana for more information
Telephone: ###-###-####

Being a new mama is very tough! Especially when you feel overwhelmed.

Good luck,

If you want to talk a little more, send me a message and we can chat.

S.

go see your doc asap. i can remember going into a deep depression it took awile for me to relize what was going on. it was like a dark hole that i never want to revisit. there are great meds out there. i would suggest the tried and true like prozac or zoloft. they have been around for years and have less side affects. and you have to stay on it for atleast a year. it take awhile for it to build up in your system but they do work also see a counsler. and talk about whats going on. having a third party to talk to is wonderful. if you belong to a church some of them have followers that go through extensive training to help guide people through tough times. and you never see someone from your own church its always from another area. and it is all confidential. gl

Here is a suggestion: make a list of things to get done--not the everyday things--and include dates. And then look at them and decide how you can take the easy way out. For your daughter's birthday, cake and coffee/juice. Let the kids play and the adults talk. For showers, get someone to help out. You are extremely overwhelmed and have so much on your plate you can't see it. Also make a list of those everyday things that have to be done, then see what is absolutely necessary and what can be skipped or put off. I work full time during the day, my husband works full time nights. I go home to 11 yr old triplets and a 2 yr old. Sometimes it feels like I just want to scream becaseu there is so much going on at once. I made these lists I told you about. The great thing is when you can actually see the things written down, and you can see that some things will not last, it can actually give just a little sense of relief even though it is not over yet. It just helps put it in order for yourself. Sometimes, I don't clean everything up and sometimes things are put off for a little while but it is not the end of the world if everything is not perfect. Ask your husband to help out with the evferyday list. Just taking care of one things can help a great deal.
My husband and I went out for the first time in a VERY long time to celebrate our anniversary. I had to keep pushing things out of my mind so I could enjoy a little time with just him-no kids. I have to say I had a really good time and I did feel a little less stress.

Wow C....your post was like reading about myself. In fact, if you read Peg M's response below, I think I'm the "acquaintance" she's talking about (she's my mom). I have a very demanding full-time job that doesn't allow me time off (3 years and counting without a vacation), and I often feel like my life is spinning out of control.

A few days ago I had a near breakdown and it was a real wake-up call. I realized I have to reprioritize and put myself and my family a little higher up on my list. I don't have to be superwoman at work. I've been letting exercise fall by the wayside, and committed to taking at least a 20-minute walk every day. The first day I did it I couldn't believe how much better I felt both physically and emotionally. I guess those endorphins really do pack a punch. It's only been a few days, but that daily exercise has really made a difference. I take the time to organize my thoughts and reflect on the blessings in my life, and by the time I get back home I'm a changed woman.

You're not alone in the way you feel. I can completely relate. Please keep us posted.

I've known several people lately who were/are living out similarly stressful and demanding schedules, and were/are becoming afraid for their ability to carry on, because of physical and emotional symptoms getting too much to bear.

What a couple of them finally realized was that if they did break down, the world was going to somehow keep on going without them, and perhaps at a cost to those who cared most about them. In one case the solution seemed to be a 20 minute walk in the morning, for another, video yoga, and for another, a physical accident that simply required that he stop and recover. All three of these people have experienced a dramatic drop in their stress levels, apparently because they prioritized their own needs. And their lives, hopes and ambitions are still chugging right along.

Another acquaintance hasn't prioritized herself into her life, and is still suffering almost unendurable stress. One way or another, she will have to deal with the consequences sooner or later. I watch and worry, but there's nothing I can do – she will go until she breaks, and then probably wonder why she didn't see that she really could find alternatives if she had looked with a clear intention of finding them.

I know that doesn't sound possible from where you are now, C.. I wish I could hold some choices out to you, but you need to find the ones that will work for you. I hope you will do so before life does it for you. Starting with a visit to your doctor might be a good idea.

Blessings. Please keep us updated.

NOTHING is wrong with you. BEWARE - you are suffering from burnout, and if you don't take care of it now, you may end up in the hospital with burnout like I did, and it takes YEARS to recover from it.

I had just had a baby and was going through exactly what you are describing (except I was an executive Administrative Assistant) when 8 mos after my baby was born, I lost it and ended up in the hospital with depression, burnout, and chronic fatigue.
I lost my ex-marriage because of it.

Write down EVERYTHING you have to do, then prioritize. Get kids to grade each others' papers in class (they've done it in my daughter's elementary school). Get your children to help any way they can - even a little bit of help from them will help you. See what you can cut out - and don't do ANYTHING you can cut out. Can you get a housekeeper for the house? Make sure you take 1 day a week off - whichever day works for you. For me it's Thursdays.

Tell your husband you are at the breaking point. Trust me a nervous breakdown IS NOT WORTH IT AT ALL! I ended up sick for years with Chronic Fatigue on the heels of it.

Prayer and meditation is a HUGE stress reliever. I would not be alive today if I hadn't had a great prayer life, with God's presence when I pray.