25 answers

What Happened to Don't Take Candy from Strangers

I have Tuesdays off work and I usually run errands with both my daughters. Out last stop of the morning was the grocery store. My younger one was starting to get cranky and it was a little past lunchtime so I tried to make it quick. As I was walking to the checkout line she started to cry and I couldn't get her to stop. Come to find out that she had started to run a fever and probably felt bad. I didn't realize this until I picked her up to put her in her carseat. I had left her in the shopping cart seat while I checked out and paid. While I was paying an older woman came up behind me and nodded to my daughter. I thought she was just wanting to try and keep her entertained while I finished and it wasn't like my kids were more than a foot away from me but at the same time I turned to talk to her the cashier asked me a questions. Juggling 3 things at once I almost missed the fact that she was handling my daughter a stick of gum! I gasped, almost in voluntarily, and abruptly interrupted the action and told her "No Thanks" Not entirely sweetly but not flat out rude. She glared at me and stalked off.

Later on I spoke with my daughter's at length about this and told them that the candy was probably okay but you never take it from someone you don't know. They were okay with this but I still can't get over the situation. I have always been told to never take candy from strangers so in turn I never try to give out candy (unless it's Halloween). She also knew I was busy and she never verbally asked me. What would you have done in the same situation? I'm at a loss. I know it was probably innocent but still concerns me.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I've had similar situations in the past, but in addition to the "Thank you, but no" I always add that "I've taught my daughters not to take candy from strangers and I wouldn't be setting a good example by breaking that rule."

That way I take the "OMG how dare you offer candy to my kid!!!!" offense and put the onus on me even though the other person shouldn't have offered my kid candy. I'm proud of my girls, though... a couple of different times (once from another customer and once from a cashier) before I had a chance to say it myself my daughters said, "Thank you but we can't take candy from strangers. You're nice but you're still a stranger."

4 moms found this helpful

I would have done the same thing. I'll bet my bottom dollar this woman is the type that crosses boundaries all the time. I bet she drops by her daughter-in-law's place unannounced. :D

But, seriously, you did the right thing - don't give it another thought.

3 moms found this helpful

WOW!!! HOLY SMOKES BATMAN!!!

I've had people ASK ME FIRST before they give my kids candy or gum...I think you handled it right...

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

That JUST happened to me the other day at Target! My 3 yr old was crying because he didn't want to use the public potty (do you blame him?) and this lady just came up and WITHOUT asking me offered him a tootsie pop! I said kindly, "No, thank you", but she handed it to him anyway! Then, she looked at my 4 yr old and said, "You want one, too?" My son took it, he said thank you, and we left. As soon as we got out of the bathroom, I told them that they are not eating the suckers and that we need to have a little talk.

We got to the car and immediately had the "stranger talk" about not taking things from people that we do not know. They were amazingly okay with it, although I know my 4 yr old understands more than my 3 yr old about strangers.

Probably innocent, but no way am I going to let my children eat something from a total stranger in the Target bathroom!!

I agree, it was very rude for her not to ask your permission first.

6 moms found this helpful

I would have said "no thanks" as well. I believe in asking before offering food, and even then, I only offer it to children of parents I know well-- and I still ask first.

What she did was something one of my relatives--- who is having more and more 'senior moments'-- would do. Brain not firing on all cylinders. Well-intentioned, but certainly out of the realm of what's acceptable these days.

Now, though, it seems less about "not taking candy" and more along the lines of "If someone tells you they lost their puppy and need your help to find it, do not go with them."

5 moms found this helpful

I've had similar situations in the past, but in addition to the "Thank you, but no" I always add that "I've taught my daughters not to take candy from strangers and I wouldn't be setting a good example by breaking that rule."

That way I take the "OMG how dare you offer candy to my kid!!!!" offense and put the onus on me even though the other person shouldn't have offered my kid candy. I'm proud of my girls, though... a couple of different times (once from another customer and once from a cashier) before I had a chance to say it myself my daughters said, "Thank you but we can't take candy from strangers. You're nice but you're still a stranger."

4 moms found this helpful

The lady probably meant no harm but was out of line without asking your permission. When my son was in the cart, he was in FRONT of me as I was paying the clerk. At that time they didn't have the little seat belts in the cart and my boy was quick and liked to TRY to stand up in the cart.

I see many young parents turn their heads for a second and their children are trying to escape the cart.

So my advice is to ALWAYS have the cart in front and close to you and keep that seat belt buckled!

Blessings...

4 moms found this helpful

I would have done the same thing. I'll bet my bottom dollar this woman is the type that crosses boundaries all the time. I bet she drops by her daughter-in-law's place unannounced. :D

But, seriously, you did the right thing - don't give it another thought.

3 moms found this helpful

Ok, this lady was just trying to be nice and help you out. It's quite possible in the past she had children who behaved that way and she wanted to pay it forward. For me, the sticking point would have been that I dont let my kid have gum.

My daughter is always talking to strangers at stores. A stranger is jut a friend you haven't met yet. No predator is going to come up to your child like that while you are there. the idea of not taking candy from a stranger isnt because of poisoning, it's because of the idea of a pedophile offering candy for sexual favors.

Don't teach your child to live in fear. It makes everyone unhappy, child and mama.

2 moms found this helpful

I definitely teach my children not to take candy (or anything) from a stranger without mom/dad's permission. Not only was that inappropriate, but I would have done the same as you. Also, you never k ow what a parent allows their kids to have. Mine aren't allowed to have gum at a, not even my four year old. Other parents might not allow hard candies, their child might be diabetic, have allergies, etc. The woman was out of place.

2 moms found this helpful

WOW!!! HOLY SMOKES BATMAN!!!

I've had people ASK ME FIRST before they give my kids candy or gum...I think you handled it right...

2 moms found this helpful

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