Kids Getting Snack from Another Child That You Don't Know

......wow. You're way overthinking this. A child shared their candy with your child at the park. It was even individually wrapped! It's not like a stranger pulled over when your child was alone and offered candy if she'd get in the car.

This sort of worst first thinking is really sad. Even if it had been an adult at the park offering to share with your child, you were with her and what harm could really come of it, unless she had some sort of sugar sensitivity or an allergy to an ingredient? Stranger does not equal bad person!

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The child was sharing. That's a sweet thing to do. I would not have a problem with it.

D.

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Good Lord! The day kids can't share candy at the park (especially in the presence of both sets of parents) is a sure sign of a world gone mad!

6 moms found this helpful

I dont think you did anything wrong

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Let her have it...nothing sinister here...probably more risk on halloween

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I would have let my kid have the starburst. I wouldn't have even thought twice about it.
Laura

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In this situation, specifically, I think it's fine you let her eat it. You saw the child, you saw the offer, you saw the child also eating the candy, etc.

In general, however, I think one issue is that children shouldn't offer or accept ANYTHING directly between themselves. I have taught my son that if he wants to share a snack with another child he ASKS THEIR PARENT. If another child offers him something, he says "You'll have to ask my mom."

That way no child is accepting something from a stranger, they're always getting it from their own parent (who may have moments before gotten it from a stranger).

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I would have let my DD have it.

I try to teach my DD that it's impolite to eat treats in front of other people... Just the way I was raised, and it's something I like for my family's values. So when we are in public, I don't usually allow my DD to eat treats unless she is sitting away from the main crowd. (I usually take her to a picnic table, or have her sit in her stroller, or whatever to eat...) So IF she gets a treat that she can take with her, she automatically tries to share it with anyone who is around her. I always ask the parent of the child in question if it's OK for my DD to share, and have never been turned down.

Likewise, she knows that if someone offers her a treat, she has to ask me before she can accept it. From an adult, maaaaybe, depending on the situation (someone is giving her kids treats, and offers one to my DD... sure! Some random dude handing out candy to all the kids... not so much)... from other kids? Sure.

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i just can't live in fear. i can understand, maybe, a homemade cookie or something like that from a stranger (although most strangers are nice people too), but a piece of wrapped candy?
this just wouldn't scare me.
khairete
S.

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we have this issue with neighbors who are always stuffing their kids with twinkies, ice cream sandwiches, candy, etc. it is constant, almost every time they play together. my son knows he has to ask before he gets it. sometimes i will say yes. but often i say no. it's garbage. and i don't approve of the kids' grandpa just handing my son junk without considering whether it might be almost time for dinner at our house, etc. our main issue is that he doesn't eat a lot of sugar. but once they got used to him having to ask (and bless his heart, he is so good about asking. he knows the rules and he does not throw a tantrum over it) they usually don't just hand it to him, they will send him over to ask. you will need to teach your daughter to ask you first. saying yes occasionally makes it easier for her to come to you. if we say "NO" all the time, imo, they expect it so then they feel like they want to sneak it behind our backs because they just "know" we're going to deny them. everything in moderation (as long as you trust the source).

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Sure, they can have it. Kids share all the time. Not always the healthy stuff I'd prefer, lol.

They've been given candy by a grown man (janitor a the preschool). I didn't mind but I would think that the supervisors would not approve. If a child choked, then it's liability, perhaps.

Mine share, too. And these days we have to be aware of allergies, so that's kind of hard to explain to little kids.

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As a kid, I traded and shared what my mother had packed or brought for me on outings all the time. I was taught to share so it was second nature. If I pulled out a pack of gum in front of my friends, I would take a piece and offer some to the others around me. It's only polite.

I wouldn't have worried at all about kids sharing treats among themselves. However, I would totally put the skids on my kid taking treats from a random adult that didn't appear to have any of his or her own kids with them.

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I would ask the parent of the child if it were ok, but I don't get why it wouldn't be allowed unless the kid had allergies or already had too much sugar, etc.

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The only problematic thing for me, is teaching the children to discern when it is okay to accept it and when it isn't. In your scenario, sure, fine. But you were right there, and you saw things (the wrapping, the bag she was also eating out of, the age of the child, etc) that your child was not caring anything about.
As your child(ren) get older, they will be exposed to more when they enter school. And middle school (and before?) and certainly by high school, other KIDS will offer them things (drugs) that LOOK like candy. They will not say--"hey this is illegal and can hurt you, but do you want a piece?"....

So, I think some parents find it easier to teach them early not to accept "candy" from other kids---from ANYbody but mom. For the little kids, it's not really an issue, because usually mom is right there anyway. But more moms are probably thinking about setting precedence for later years when they are NOT right there.... and "friends" could be just acquaintances at school that they bump into in the hallways sometimes and don't really know much about.

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It doesn't bother me. Typically, when you have kids that are school aged it isn't even something you can prevent. Not a week goes by that one of my kids isn't chomping on something that he got from some random kid or teachers. Even the most well-behaved child will often accept, even when mom has said not to. Mom just doesn't get told about it.

Of course, if there are allergies involved then you have to make certain that the child and people around him/her know that she can't take food because it is a real danger.

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I just had my talk with my 2 kids that go to school about accepting candy,gum snack etc. they are not allowed but say Thank You for asking,what they are allowed to do is accept it in school as a class with the teacher only.There is way to many what ifs don't want to chance it

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Probably no harm and its sad that we feel suspicious of people we don't know, but my daughter always say no thank you to kids/adults she doesn't know if they offer her candy. I have taught her not to take anything from strangers. :-)

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I would have allowed it. Especially if she got it from another child and I saw that that child was eating it.

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Oh, yeah I would have let her. My kids always beg snacks from people at the park lol!

Trust your gut instinct. A small child at the park offering a piece of pre-wrapped candy I would probably be fine with. I would be watching to see what adult was with that child. If I saw that a nice parent or adult was attending that child, I would go with my gut impression all seems legitimate and allow it. And maybe confirm with the parent if their child is allowed to share some candy. Because what if the parent says, "what I had no idea my child had Starbursts?! I'd be wanting just a little more reassurance the source of the candy was legit, and not "found" on the playground or trash, or something. I probably would not allow it if the child was unsupervised or was at the park with a small group of teens giggling behind a tree, but I'm a pretty cautious person. I'd be much more comfortable if I knew the child and family too.

No, I would not. There is no way that you do not know if that parent is some sort of "end of times" person who is giving out poisoned candy that her kid, her, and any other kid they come in contact with. I just watch too many crime dramas...lol.

I just don't do it unless I know the mom personally.

I would totally let my kid eat the candy and I think it's a little paranoid if someone wouldn't let their child. She was eating it herself after all.

I would let my daughter, and my daughter has at times offered to share her snacks with other kids. My rule when sharing any type of food with other kids is that she must ask the child's parents if it is OK before offering it to the child. Most parents seem to allow it, but some don't. She knows that is a possibility and doesn't whine or cry about it. The reasons for not sharing generally have to do with not wanting the child to have sugar at that moment. However, it's also important because of food allergies.

In my opinion, the kids are playing together, so these situtations are not so much about 'stranger danger'...its more like a distant aquaintance.