What Do You Give a Bride at Her Bridal Shower?

The last bridal shower gift I gave was a sexy robe and slippers--not so sexy that she would need to fix hair and make-up to wear them, but sexy enough so that it did automatically step up the game. Also, it was something that she could continue to wear and feel good in in the event of physical changes and body image issues. It's important to be able to still feel comfortable and sexy in an outfit (or article of clothing) that you wore "back when". I like to give stuff that other people didn't necessarily consider, based on the personality of the couple.

Most of the bridal showers I've gone to over many, many years the primary gifts are things needed for the home. Although lingerie is given it's usually only done by close girl-friends, sisters, cousins. Showers were originally intended to help the bride set up her household. In my grandmother's day (she was married in the 1920's) a young lady saved up and bought things over the years, linens (bed sheets, towels, tablecloths, etc) and household items such as silverwear, china, etc. If a girl's family was either not approving the wedding or did not have the finances to set her up then friends would throw a shower - so they'd give her those things.

It's has morphed over the year from providing for basic needs (towels, pots & pans, drinking glasses, mixing bowls) to almost a wish list of extravagent things the bride couldn't otherwise afford. When I was a teen in the 70's i gave my cousin dishtowels at her shower, my mom bought mixing bowls.
The last bridal shower I went to was my neices and I chipped in on a big item and also gave her three books: "the Joy of Cooking", "The Joy of Sex" and "The complete care & feeding of husbands".

Usually I do theme gifts such as: a breakfast box to include a coffee maker, mugs, package of expensive coffee, a frying pan, pancake mix, spatula and a bottle of maple syrup. Or a bath box to include two bath sheets, loofah, expensive soaps, lotions, candles and a waterproof ipod dock/speakers, etc.

you get the idea.

Have fun if you can.

We usually do lingerie. At my shower it was a mix. Some people gave me lingerie and some bought me things from our wedding registry.

It depends on the shower, I consider a Bridal Shower to be the naughty kind with lingerie and naughty bedroom things. Wedding Showers are for gifts off the registry - so I would consider lingerie. If you are not certain as to the direction of the Shower I would call the host to confirm, explain the cultural difference and confusion.

I've never been to a bridal shower where the bride received lingerie - that's usually given at a personal shower and/or bachelorette party. Bridal shower gifts are usually bought from the couples registry and are household type items =) Gift cards are always nice too!

Yes...you can choose something from the wedding registry.
Or buy a personal gift of lingerie, spa treatment certificate, etc.

Sometimes wedding registries get filled spottily, as many people prefer to give cash as a wedding gift and few people realize it's proper (if you buy a gift for the wedding) that it should be purchased and sent to the brides home before the wedding, not toted along to the reception (yes--people DO do that though)!

Usually, at the wedding or bridal shower, I see people give household stuff, from the registry or not, kitchen appliances and gadgets, sheets, towels, pots and pans, etc., unless the shower is specified as a lingerie or "personal" shower. The lingerie is usually given more in "fun"/ or as a joke, at a "bachelorette" party, by closer friends, same age as the bride. I think it is refrained form to save her embarrassment at the bridal shower with older relatives and friends/colleagues who are not as close.

When I had my bridal shower we addressed it as a "Personal:" shower so I got personal items like lingerie. Other than that I would get something useful as the new bride and groom build their lives together.

Lingerie is fine! But also, usually Americans register for gifts so you can go to the store and pick something you know they need. And yes, I meant from the wedding registry.

Did she register at a store? I buy off the registry... For the "actual wedding", I give money :)

Personally, at my bridal shower, all my girl friends and wedding party gave me all sorts of lacy items, my older family all gave me practical items for the household and the like or special personal items. I think I might have gotten some practical items from my girl friends too. I don't totally remember as it was 17 years ago ;)
I had not registered for anything at all for the shower or the wedding. We had our apartment for 8 months and had our basics. We mostly asked for gift cards and cash so we could replace some of the hand me downs we were making due with or to buy some furniture for our very empty place as that's what we needed the most.
The items we loved the most from either the wedding or the shower were the personal items people made or bought for us. The ones where someone really "knew us" and got that something very special.

This question always baffles me, and I have lived here my whole life! Until being on this site, I never heard of people distinguishing between a "bridal" shower and a "wedding" shower. Where I live, you generally get one shower, and the person hosting the shower will include, in the envelope with the invitation (but never *on* the invitation), that the bride and groom are registered at X, Y & Z. Where I live, one generally shops for the shower from the registry. Lingerie as a gift at a shower here would be seen as tasteless and mortifying as showers generally include older relatives, friends of the bride or groom's parents, colleagues, etc. I've been to a couple of showers where lingerie was a gift but it's usually from a group of close girlfriends and given as a joke.

If a registry card was included with the invitation, then purchase a gift from the registry.

I should also point out that around here, it's customary to give shower gifts from the registry but to give a monetary wedding gift, which you give (in a card) at the wedding OR to send a gift from the registry to the bride's house before the wedding. My understanding is that cash gifts are not the norm in other parts of the country.

I am usually the one to gift trashy lingerie in front of all the old ladies that knitted potholders. ;0) makes it so much more fun!

I always check the registry. That's what it's there for!

Do you know her well enough to call her Mom or her and ask if there is anything she needs?
When I was a young woman, wedding showers were all I ever went to and the most prized gifts were kitchen gadgets. Not necessarally pots and pans or dishes but the stuff you use every day but may not have if you never lived on your own, like mixing spoons, spatulas, dish rags & towels, egg timer, measuring spoons and cups ect.
A funny gag gift to buy a small box of canned goods and take all the labels off. It can be very frustrating to be making dinner and open two cans of soup and a can of tuna when you are looking for the green beans. But it is all meant in fun.
For modern day brides I think anything from lingerie to wine glasses would be a welcome gift.

Usually a wedding shower is for home/practical gifts. A bridal shower is more about the bride only . . .lingerie, lotions, pretty things that smell nice. It also depends on the bride. If she is younger or more adventerous, then the more risque you can be with the gift. I think your gift idea is great, but I would make sure it is a satiny robe!

The same. Pajamas/nightshirt
Votive candle holders
Scented candles
Towels
Bath scents
Body wash/lotion
Fancy sheets
Room fragrences