What Do Working Mothers Want?

It's not the time I spend at work that's the problem.
I want a housekeeper and a cook so I can do the fun parenting things and skip the cleaning drudgery.
But it's not something anyone is going to give me.
I've just got to earn enough so I can hire help.
Equal pay for equal work would help with that.
This is something that changes with the age(s) of the kids.
When I was pregnant FMLA was great for getting 12 weeks maternity leave (most of it paid).
When my son was little - flex time helped a lot.
We can take sick leave for sick family members.
Now that my son is older and in middle school a lot of those things are not so important now.
No - fathers and mothers are NOT treated the same at work.
For men - getting married and having a family means they are 'stable family men' - the promotions and raises are piled on because of it.
For women - getting married and having kids is a career penalty - mommy tracked - we're viewed as less work reliable because 'the kids/family' come first with us and the job comes second - we're often treated as a liability - even if you hire a live in nanny to take of things at home, the promotions and raises slow down because we dare have a life outside the office.
It's true - Dad's CAN coach and play golf and taking a day off to do it is looked on as a great life/stress management skill.
If a Mom takes a day off - we're viewed as slackers who are milking the system.

A flexible schedule. Which I have.
I work full time, and I'm actually the highest paid member of my mgmt team - above the men. So I'm good there.

For me, it's about flexibility so I can get home and make dinner for the family and then hang out.

Actually women make 77% of what men make across the board when you compare men and women working full time and segregate by their occupation. So, no your being part time is not the issue. You make 40% of what you used to make which was 72-77% (depending upon your field) of what a man doing the same job with comparable hours and years in the field makes. In the medical field - there was a recent study demonstrating that people (men and women) offer lower pay and are less likely to view a candidate positively when they know the candidate is female. The study was performed using IDENTICAL resumes with the only difference being the candidate was identified as male or female. Women who are childless make less than men who are childless. How is that ok?

What do I want? EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK.

FLEXTIME. That is the key. I am an HR professional, and that is my perception of what most working mom's want. They don't expect it all, but the flexibility for all parents to be involved in their children's lives MORE is best for the kids, the parents and our country! - just my humble opinion :)

All of that sounds good. I certainly want that taken into consideration, but I don't want it used to hold me back. Okay, maybe I want to come in a little later or leave a little later, but I am willing to do some work from home. I don't take breaks while in the office, and I work in such a way that my time on the clock is maximized. If that is going to be acknowledged at all, then give me some credit for it. I'm not asking for less work, just more flexibility with how I get it done. I can still meet the deadline.

I don't like that being a mother is presented as the problem that women have in the workplace. It's not a handicap. Working 20-hour days is for people with no life and who plan to die soon, anyway. 12-hour work days are for special projects (unless we're talking special shift work. I'm talking about working in an office environment.). It would be unacceptable for my husband to spend all of his time at the office or working on behalf of the office. That's not good for anybody's health.

I want it all and I was willing to work pretty hard for it.

I am CPA eligible but the flex jobs in public accounting disappeared when the economy went in the crapper. So my choice was stay here and not hit my income potential or throw my kids under the bus for money. My kids are worth the 10 to 20 thousand I don't make, that I could make.

So for me flex time is what is valuable. What is funny is if you ask my kids trips to Disney every year or mom home to get you on the bus and there when you get off they pick mom. I am better than Disney!! That is worth more than 20 thousand a year!!!

I want men and women who have children and are in the workplace to be treated exactly the same. This does not happen. When a man has to leave a meeting early, he can say something like "My son has a baseball game." or "I have to take my daughter to the dentist." and this man is a hero. Women (myself included) have learned to slink out early under similar circumstances and to never directly discuss the need to take care of their kids. This is the unspoken rule if you want to be taken seriously as a working mother.

My husband and I have the exact same job but I have been with our college for ten years longer than he has. He makes more money than I do because he has a PhD and I do not. I do not have a doctorate because I knew I would not be able to have children and complete the degree at the same time. (I know some women who have done both, but the truth of the matter in my field, there is a choice made between the doctorate and having kids. Time may change this.) I also personally know women who had tenure track jobs, who left when they had children. They are never going to be able to get that tenure track job back. The field is simply too competitive.

My company used to offer flex time and it was awesome! I worked 4 10 hour days with a rotating day off and would end up with a 4 day weekend each month. It was great.

Having said that, I would have much preferred on site daycare when my son was young. There were days I was leaving the house at 6 AM when he was an infant. For a night owl, 6 AM is an ungodly hour! Saving a hour in the morning and an hour and a half in the afternoon commute would have been a blessing.

Now that my son is in Kindergarten, flex time or on site daycare wouldn't have the benefit to me that it had when my son was younger. The best benefit I have now is sick family time. I generally don't have to use my vacation or sick time when my child is sick. I haven't had to use it often, but it helps when vacation days are running low.

I had great maternity leave when I had my son, I had excellent benefits working for the insurance company, and daycare was convenient so that was fine. NOW with my son in school the past 6 years, I wish I had that insurance job back- they now allow to work from home, and with my current job that isn't an option. My boss is flexible enough to let me come in 15 minutes later than everyone, but I also leave 15 minutes later- so we don't get home til 5:30, dinner ready 6:30 or 7, kitchen clean up kid in shower and to bed- not much time to spend together in any capacity of the imagination. I would love to be able to work from home a few days a week or half days or something.

Benefits, including health insurance, are most important to me because my husband is self-employed and doesn't have any. Flextime is important and I won't work without it.

However, equal pay is nothing to sneeze at. Most men who work are fathers, and none of the working dads I know have to worry about being "daddy tracked" if they put reasonable boundaries on their work day to maintain some kind of work-life balance. In my company, the women who do that are "mommy tracked" and the men who do are held up as models of putting their health, sanity and families first. Many leave early to coach their kids' teams, meet other family obligations or even just golf or do something recreational and no one bats an eye but if one says "my child is sick I have to stay home" other people remark "isn't that what his wife is for?" (never mind that often the wives have more demanding careers than the husbands).

I would have greatly valued on-site childcare when my children were younger. I believe that all women should have access to paid maternity leave. I had no pay for my first, full pay for 12 weeks with my second and 6 weeks paid plus used all of my vacation and sick time and my boss fudged the last two weeks with my 3rd.

More part time options or flex-time. But flex time only strikes me as good if the job doens't require 60-80 hours a week. I love when people say they had to make a choice and they chose their children. Well, some of us do somewhat have it all. I now "work" 40-45 hours a week but leave work a lot to volunteer at school, go to school parties, pick my kids up sometimes etc. I never miss a school function. Some of my hours at work are spent on family stuff too. Running family errands, doing things online I'd have to do at home. I get home before 5:00 every night so I am there to do homework without it being rushed and bc I work, I am able to pay someone to do most of hte cooking and cleaning so I'm not spending my home hours on those things. Sure - it's a strain sometimes even with this set-up and it'd be nice to pick up my kdis EVERY day but I make mid to high 6 figures in pay every year. That has guaranteed college is paid for and our retirement is funded so we won't have to rely on our kdis and one of mine may need expensive private school bc of a learning issue. We can pay for that and hopefully that is a big advantage for her vs getting lost in a big public school system that likely couldn't work with her like she may need.Also, I get about 5 weeks vacation all spent with my kids. This wasn't a mommy wars question but one reply seemed to turn it into that a bit. Back to your question a bit, an even more flexible schedule/ability to work from home some would be great.

I finally have my flex-time which has brought an incredible amount of joy. Definitley would've loved more maternity leave. My mother, who worked in the private sector, had an employer who offered 12-weeks of paid maternity leave to her staff and it didn't come out of your own earned leave. My job allows me to take up to 12 weeks as permitted by FMLA as long as I have earned the leave. That is tough when trying to build up leave but having to take leave for appts.
As far as pay, I do pretty good and am happy but would always like a little more breathing room. It is a sad state of affairs when we actually have statistics reflecting the lack of Equal Opportunity in pay. Not sure why women are not more valued, even in the work place. Turth is, most men would be lost without us! Hahaha. Happy Wednesday all

I have to say it's all about flexibility. It's out there, you just need to ask for it and who knows, you might get it.

Before I interviewed for my current job, I called the hiring manager (now my boss) and told him exactly what I needed. One day a week working from home. Flexibility to work from home if my daughter or I get sick and time to go go to certain events. I also mentioned that I would be flexible to accommodate business needs. I told him that I did not want to waste his time with an interview if none of this was possible. He said no problem. When I got my offer, I confirmed all of this. When I began work, I started working from home once a week that first week. On Halloween, I need to be in the office, but I will leave in time to get my daughter off the bus and get ready to go out and tick or treat.

My advice it to ASK for flexibility and not take advantage. If you are a performer, chances are they will bend over backwards to keep you.

Oh, and what I really need is a day off in a dark room by myself to sleep. :)

No idea why a SAHM is answering this question. Want more sleep! More telecommuting days.

Lol I just want to earn enough money to pay for preschool for both my girls. :)

Flex-Time
Work from home options
sick child daycare

Any or all of these would make being a working mom so much easier. When my daughter was born 32 years ago, there were not very many single mothers and life was very hard. Just a little understanding and compromise would go a looooonng way!

This isn't about just what working moms want. I am not working because my career and children don't go together. Period. I had to make a choice, and ended up giving up a career so that I could be around for my kids. Working 70 hours a week with kids isn't realistic to me. Kids need lots of attention from their parents. My hubby works long hours and travels, so I had to bypass a career so that someone was around for the kids and house, etc. it is 2012. I never would have thought I couldn't have it all. I was raised in the 80s to believe I could. Feminists were wrong. Society has to change and become family friendly. Flex time, sick days? No where near enough. How about going back to the 40 hour work week? Most people I know work 60 hours at salary jobs. They do email and work while on vacation. This is expected. If you want big money, you work, and work, and work.

Women cannot have it all, we have to make serious sacrifes. Loved the recent article in the atlantic monthly about this. this is what this is about.

In terms of contraception, the govt or companies have no right to tell me what I can or cannot do with my body. 20 a month is a lot of money to the majority of Americans making very little money. To many this is a weeks worth of food. Hubby was having a chat with a co-worker the other day, taking about health care. The guy said he thought people could fork over for premiums, etc. that the market place was working fine. Hubby said, well, let's see, you are in the top 1%. Spending 10k a year on health doesn't destroy your budget, but what if you were a family of 4 living on 50k?

#1 - respect & to be treated as equal to the men in the agency
#2 - telecommuting

Things I wanted in the past but are no longer relevant to me personally:

* paid maternity leave without it coming out of my leave balances!
* onsite daycare
* pumping room

My personal experience is quite the contrary. When I first got hired at my current job, I was paid a very small salary and given the lowest title possible. A few months after I was hired they hired a man. I had more experience too. My kid was actually slightly younger than his. The man they hired and every individual hired after me regardless of experience was hired with a diffent title than mine with a minimum pay substantially higher than mine. My ability to get the work done is consistently ignored when it comes to saying thank you in a monetary fashion. We have had salary freezes for years but some have managed to obtain one regardless. They are better at navigating the political hurdles than I am.

Women should get equal pay for equal work.

I believe companies and goverment should move to a system where you are paid for the actual work you do instead of the hours you work. Work completed in a certain time frame and done in excellence should be rewarded. If the job becomes about getting the work done and getting paid X dollars for doing a particular assignment by a certain time it would be easy for companies and government to determine if work was getting done and how to reduce the overall payout and workers could determine the hours it takes to complete a task and use there time more efficiently and effectively.

I do understand that this may not work for everyone but I also believe it would be very helpful and lucrative for all participants.

I do love other things for working parents too which include flex-time, sick child daycare, onsite daycare, longer maternity leave and other things too.

I hope my comments give you a different perspective.

Luckily I found a job making more part-time than I was making full-time but took years to get to that point. First of all I would like more sleep and someone to clean my house. I agree that women should make equal pay. Most of the time a woman will get the job done faster because we are great at multitasking. Even so I would love to be able to telecommute more. Then maybe I could keep up with Laundry and housework. 3rd boy on the way and I'm exhausted and house needs LOTS of work. Better insurance would be great without the higher cost. When I had my 1st son coverage was awesome and deductibles were around $1000 with 90 to 100% coverage after. Now your lucky to get one at $3000 and still it may only cover 80% if your lucky. Affordable child care would be great. The low end has gone from $450 to $600 and hourly wage has not gone up. They say gender doesn't matter but it does.

flex time for sure. i'd take a much lower salary to get flextime.

Obviously you make less when you work less. I think the issue, however, is that working Moms are paid less than men for doing the SAME job.

It's not really about what I want, I don't think. The reality is that man, or a childless woman, wouldn't call in sick as much as me, wouldn't have to leave early or come in late as much as me. I have two kids, another on the way, and they all get sick, and then I catch whatever it is they have... plus we have doctor appointments, dentist appointments, orthodontist appointments. Leaving early to go to a school event, coming in late so I don't miss their awards ceremonies at the end of the year... the list goes on.

I'm lucky enough to have a very understanding boss, but if I worked somewhere else, I imagine I'd be in pretty hot water all the time for all the work that I miss. And when I do miss work, I have to make up the hours at home.

I don't expect my company to cater to my lifestyle as a mother. They pay me to cater to THEM. So the only thing I really want, as a working mother, is to be able to enjoy a reasonable amount of understanding from them that comes with missing more work than the average person.

I would love true flex time above all else. We all have personal lives (marrieds, singles, childless, with children, with elderly parents, etc.) and employers would be better off acknowledging that on some level with some degree of flex time. What flex time I have encountered is often a verbal/handshake arrangement which depends on the person in charge, his/her goodwill, his/her free reign and his/her mood. I have been allowed off early for a good reason only to be denied paid time off at a later date. It winds up feeling like the one hand gives while the other takes with little rhyme or reason. Clearly delineated PTO (paid time off which can be used for personal business, sick kids or vacation) and flex time would be better for everyone involved. I would love to not feel like I have to grovel to access the time and I would love to not feel like I need to slink out the door when I do take the time.
A longer maternity leave would be great too but then again there will be an imbalance there too no doubt. Based on my experience the longer you are out, the longer your employer gets comfortable with the idea you are not indispensible. Not a good position to find yourself in come raise, promotion or lay off time.
I would love to say I could negotiate with an employer on some of these perks but honestly I have not found the room for that kind of maneuvering to actually exist. There are far too many willing potential employees who won’t put forth their demands and/or who are willing to have a job without these benefits. I have had potential employers tell me flat out my unwillingness to travel at the drop of a hat and/or for long stretches simply won’t work for them. Well, fine. It won’t work for me to be gone from my family so we reach an impasse. They wind up hiring a more willing employee and I keep looking. That is one example of many I have encountered. Gender issues/inequalities aside the job market is competitive and where there are willing employees to do more with less the perks will and do fall to the wayside.