Unusual Toddler Behavior

Updated on August 06, 2009
A.W. asks from Las Vegas, NV
14 answers

Any suggestions would be appreciated, I'm at the end of my rope... my 2 yr old daughter no matter what time of day when she poops in her pullups or diaper she plays with it. She knows its gross cuz she says "eww mama poopy" but she still does it. I've attempted potty training with failure. I've tried taping the diaper but she still manages to play with it. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO HAS HAD THIS PROBLEM AND WHAT CAN I DO?? Thank you ahead of time for the suggestions.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

A., you said that you tape her diaper...Do you use duct tape? Duct tape should be pretty effective. Good luck.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

Oh yah. This is totally normal. Happens at different ages for different lengths of time with different kids.

I'd suggest talking + consistent redirecting.

To parallel it...If your child likes to throw things: You don't let them throw vases, books, iPods, etc. You give them balls, scarves, etc. If they're throwing sand/woodchips/rocks at the park, you show them how they can make those things "rain" (holding an arm stationary and letting it fall to the ground...not throwing it up ;). If they break the rule and throw it anyway, you get in your car and go home.

We do this stuff all the time, and half the time don't even notice it. It's when something is dangerous or gross that it sends up the "Aieeeeee!" flag in our heads and makes us pull our hair out.

I'd suggest the calm "No, honey...playing with poo can make us sick" (It's even better if she has a bad memory of throwing up, or diahreah...and linking sick to "like when you x"). "Here...let's....

- Fingerpaint
- Play with playdoh
- Draw in shaving cream on the mirror
- De-seed a pumpkin
- Make bread

Anything that has a similar tactile/motion thing.

We also started watching the Magic School Bus around this age. There are some cool human body ones.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A., I think it's the texture they like, (I know Gross). I think you really should go back to getting her potty trained, it's not hard and I will give you all the tips you need, I find potty training fairly easy. Also I think you should start disciplining her, that's behavior is not healthy for many reasons. I had a two year old in my daycare who did that, he ruined a very nice playpen smearing poop all over in it several times where I had to put him in the bath, and had to hose the playpen down, his parents didn't want to potty train him, so I had to let him go, he was doing this at home and they did nothing butn clean him up so he thought it was ok. J. L.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from San Diego on

Neither of my kids did this. I used cloth diapers and they were pinned, so the only one that could get them undone was me.

As far as work involved, the washer and dryer do 99% of the work. (I love cloth.) I used regular DSQ prefolds.

Plus, she will see you dump the poop, right into the toilet, where it belongs. So, it could serve to teach her that it goes directly from dipe to toilet.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

My second daughter did the same thing. It would create a huge mess - she'd smear it on the walls, the bed, you name it. Part of it was simply that she wanted to see how we'd react. (She's grown up now, and still often says, "What would you do if I...") Mostly, though, it was because she LOVES the feel of anything squishy in her hands - Play Doh, shaving cream, frosting, mud, mashed potatoes, shampoo, biscuit dough, you name it. Even when she got older, we couldn't buy her those water filled tubes or gel filled stress balls because she would squeeze them until they burst. If you give her LOTS of opportunity to stick her hands into something and smear and squeeze, she'll be less interested in the diaper.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

oh man my son was a poop handler..i kept him in onesies w/ snaps at the bottom or a one piece pj ..he finally doesn't play w/ poop he's 3.5 it ended really when he started to talk and i could tell him that people get sick from touching poo
..now he's potty trained and he wants to poop on his own and tries to wipe..usually gets it on himself..i'm trying to teach him to call me in to wipe. I think preschool also really has helped

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
I can't help you with the poop issue but I have a suggestion on how you might find playdates for the two of you. You don't mention if you are a stay-at-home mom or not but if your are or available during the day check out www.momsclub.org and find a chapter in your city. It's been a lifesaver for me and my son who's 2-1/2. We joined about a year ago and pretty much all of the friends he has are in our MOMS Club. It is an organization designed to support stay-at-home moms and provide kid friendly activities. Good luck with the poopy problem! (c:

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

First off, here is a link to a mom's club for stay-at-home moms. It will be your link to sanity!! http://www.momsclub.org/welcome.html

Next, I don't have a solution for your two year old poop situation. I'm wondering if she's liking the attention she's getting from you when you see what she's done. Negative attn. better than no attention, you see. Not that you don't give her attention--that's not what I'm saying. In any case, evaluate what you're doing and how you're acting when she does this. Minimize your reaction, including what you say, get her cleaned up and it's done and over. Next to no comments other than short and sweet "Tell mommy when you have a dirty diaper. Don't play with it--yucky." That's it!! Try really hard to find her in a poopy diaper that she hasn't explored and sing her praises! You know...."oh, good girl for not playing with your poop! It's right in the diaper where it belongs! Good girl!! That's mommy's BIG GIRL!" Give her MORE attention for that than the other. Afterwards, tell her something like "...Because you didn't play with your poop and get it all over you, mommy didn't have to spend 10 minutes cleaning you up, so we now have some extra time to read and play!!" Sit her down on your lap and read her a book. Stop in the middle and exclaim "Mommy's so happy you didn't play with your poopy diaper today!", finish the book and spend another 10 minutes having a pretend tea party, playing dolly's or something she really likes. Kiss her when you're done, tell her you love her and resume your work. Do this every time and I would bet she'll be done with this nasty little habit in a week!!! Kids LOVE attention----they would prefer the more fun to the negative, but mom's shrieks and comments can be fun, too. Keep that in mind and good luck!

P.S. In spite of what some other moms posted, my gut tells me you should hold off on the potty training for awhile. This totally could be a reaction to that--kids don't like to be pressured and if he felt pressure to be "trained", this could be his reaction. He's still so young, wait a few months beyond getting this situation resolved....and don't ever force the issue. Potty training is one issue parents absolutely cannot control and has created many, many nightmares for some parents who have tried.

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A.-

My daughter was a huge "fingerpainter" as we liked to call it. She would wake up from her nap and then do it. It was awful and we tried almost EVERYTHING!!!! We were using cloth diapers as the norm so we would have her nap in disposables. Nope, that didn't work. We tried the onsie. We tried bathing her in Cold water. Nope. We didn't try the onsie backwards or the pins, so that might work.

Good Luck. The thing that kept us sane is that we took pictures and one day she's going to bring home a date and it's going to be payback time!! ;-)

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M.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,

One thing you could try it putting her in a one-sie so she wouldn't have as "easy-access" to her diaper. Pinning her shirt and pants together in several places might help, or wearing one-piece things for awhile. My two-year-old took off her clothes constantly, (and we'd turn around to find her naked in public places! Fun!)but I've never had your exact problem. Ask your pediatrician about it, and hopefully you'll get some other good responses from Mamasource moms too. Good luck!!!

Marti O.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have no idea what to do about the playing with the poop, that's wild, I feel for you girl. I do know my moms suggestion for potty training is to let her go naked at home, I guess if they don't have something to poop in they won't, as fa as pee she might pee on the floor but at this point that's better then what you've got going on. I have a son he'll be 4 next Saturday i used this method partially and he is 100% potty trained, doesn't wet the
bed and has been since about a month after he turned 3. I was frustrated like you cause he initiated potty training at 17 months and then reverted an wanted nothing to do with it, it wasn't until I finally broke down and said no more pull ups. It's not easy cause were the ones that have to bedisiplined about it taking them to potty every 30 mins or so, if you know her what times she usually poops try it on a schedule, you'll get thru it, good luck girl. From one new mom to another it's all a learning experience with our first don't get down on yourself, if your on here I'm sure your a good momma!

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

i odnt know iof i can hlp, but my daughter is doing simliar things so your not alone she doesnt play with poop but with her pee, i myslef have been having a really hard time potty trianing iam trying rewards getting ecitited when she rarley goes on the potty, then i went to the underwear thinking she would be uncomfortable when she goes in her pants she can care less, one day i cought her rolling around in her pee, told her it was yuckky and directed her to the potty and cleaned it up it hasnt happened since, but iam still having a hard time getting her to go on the potty, so just to let you know you are not alone!!
also i dont think i would put her in panties untill she stops playing with her poop and then go from there one step at a time and rember all children are differnt.

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L.M.

answers from San Diego on

Yes, totally normal! You've received great suggestions so far many I used myself when my son was 2. Onesies are what worked for my son, he didn't have the strength or dexterity to get them undone, you may need to use a combo of both duct tape and onesies! :-)

Another place to find playgroups in your area is meetup.com I also did not have any friends young children (they were all grown) Finding a moms group has been a lifesaver and blessing, I now have wonderful mommy friends and my children have many other kids to play with!!

Good luck! And hang in there your daughter will get through this phase and find another way to challenge you! ;-)

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K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

i did have this problem but only twice while potty training my son. he would wait to poop until nap time when he was alone and wearing a diaper then didn't like it so he would remove it but he didn't play in it. I started letting him sit on the potty before nap time alone and checking on him a few minutes into nap time, if he was getting ready to poop i would put him on the potty to finish. he understood quickly.
if you think she is doing this because of the texture like another mom suggested, get her some play-dough. my kids loved playing with the texture and colors of play-dough at this age. the best way i have found to cut down on the mess is to lay out a sheet then use a large plastic bin lid to play on then when your done put the -playdough the -cookie cutters or "tools" you've used and the -sheet back in the bin.
we have had a lot of fun doing this. perhaps if she likes it you can remind her if she plays with the poop she can't play with the big girl play-dough. if it becomes a fun reward perhaps her desire to make a potty mess will go away.
i also agree that it is a very good idea to re-visit potty training.
good luck

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