A Messy Situation

My daughter didn't truly train till she was 3 and then she NEVER had an accident. Buy the sleepers with the feet in them and a zipper - put it on backwards if you have to - just to keep your sanity. Don't worry - it will end

Hi T., Someone else recently wrote about the same thing, and believe me many children are fascinated by their diaper and their poop. One suggestion is to put training pants or a onesie over the diaper so it is not so easy to get in. Yes, you should talk to her about how dirty it is to touch poop (even though it belongs to her) Some children get very posessive about "their poop" Ask her if she can tell you BEFORE it comes out. That is the key to being trained, when the brain tells us ahead of the fact. If you can get the poop into the toilet and show her how much fun it is to see it swirl around when it flushes she may want to do it in there next time. Yes potty training is very tiring, I have raised 5 of my own and now have 3 grand children. Keep smiling, she will not be doing this for long :-) Grandma Mary

i agree with the others. potty training is tough, and poop on the potty is tougher. its a long process that i started at 2, but then do to several factors like selling our house, moving into a horrible rental, moving into new house, and being sick, pregnant, ect, i had stopped the training. then when i started it up again, it took a long time. at 3 1/2 we are great but even so, once every 1-2 weeks she has an accident. anyway, my point is potty training for many is very difficult.

i would say time out in general isnt understood right away, and 2 is the earliest age you should start, but that doesnt mean she will understand in the beginning, so i wouldnt assume its "not effective with her" at this point. and make sure you are following guidelines exactly as you will confuse the matter if you are inconsistent. that said, i dont think her behavior warrants time outs. if YOU insist her behavior is defiant, she will start to see it that way as well, and after time, yes MIGHT do it to be defiant. but at this time, she just is experimenting, and confused about the feeling. she doesnt KNOW poop is yucky. the fact that she is calling you in after, first of all, is def ahead of other kids in terms of her understanding the potty, but also shows how she sees nothing BAD about it. if you continue to scold her, she will stop telling you and probaly start to hide it in fear of your reaction. she is telling the truth so you should appreciate that part of it.

im not into the tape thing, but i agree with the onesie/footsie suggestion. also, try to figure out when she has to go, to either get her on the potty, or at least prevent her from getting to the hand part. im not sure she would be ready for panties she you havent mentioned pee, but gerber and others sell training pants, which will still get clothing wet, but not allow it to drip down the leg. gives you a little less mess but may be a transition and she may not want to go poop in them. many times a child might be trained but ask for a diaper for poop. i still think thats wonderful. lots of kids are only half trained for months.

the best thing that worked for us was setting the kitchen oven timer, and had the potty there. every 45 mins it rang and she went. the poop didnt come until much later.

dont worry to much, its just a phase. imo, she may just be a little young to understand whats going on right now, and is trying to figure out whats going on. at 2, each month there is more and more understanding of the way things work, so just keep explaining things, and keep trying to watch for signs to go. my nephew would hold his poop for days in his underwear. her just wouldnt go on the potty, so they ended up giving him a diaper for poop. well one day, he went accidentally on the potty. after that day, he decided he prefered to go on the potty and liked it much better, and has never worn his diaper again. sometimes they just are scared until they see its not a big deal.

good luck

We had this problem with my son too, so I dressed him in onesie type shirts every day to prevent him from getting in there. The Children's Place makes them for sizes greater than 3T.

Hi T.,

I would put her down in a onsie, and either footie pajamas or overalls, hard to get at her diaper. Time outs may not be appropriate for a just turned two who is only first learning the concept of consequences. If you go in, clean her up, get her into a fresh diaper and then put her in time out, she doesn't understand that the time out was for putting her hand in her diaper - too many steps, the consequence must be immediate. She isn't doing this to be "bad", it's normal toddler experiementation. She doesn't seem to know the difference between having pooped and having to use the bathroom. Have you actually tried putting her on the toilet,or taking her in the bathroom with you? Does she know what using the toilet is, so that she knows where her poop should be rather than in her diaper?
Good luck@

We trained my son at this age. At the time, we were living in SF, and I went to a potty training seminar hosted by a daycare provider of 20 years. This is her advice--and mine--because it worked. My son was virtually trained in 1 week, and fully trained within one month. It's been 2 years since then, and he has had maybe 4 accidents. That's it.

In the next few weeks, keep a weekend entirely open, with no plans. Strip your toddler naked. Toddlers don't like the feel of urine or #2 on themselves. Cover carpets and floors with plastic or some sort of protection. Put two or three child toilets around the house, where child is likely to play. Every time your child goes, bring child directly to one of those toilets and say "Pee-pee is for the potty." Be stern, but not mean.

"PEE-PEE" dance: Every time the adults in the house go, be sure to do a Pee-pee dance, and encourage your child to do a Pee-pee dance when successful, too. I also used stickers and M&M's as rewards.

Once this process starts, DO NOT put diapers or pull ups on your child--except at night. This will only prolong the process. Training pants--those thicker underwear ok. The concept is to make sure your child can feel the wetness.

You will--obviously--have some cleaning and laundering to do, but stick to it! It will be over soon. Every one of my friends w/ 2 year olds who used this technique succeeded within a few weeks. However, much over the age of 2.5, it takes longer. So do it now.

Good luck!

First, I second the idea of putting her in onesies or footie pajamas for sleeping to make it more difficult to access the dirty diapers. I have also read that this is a typical toddler behavior and it's an enjoyable tactile experience for them to play with their poop, so it's been suggested to let her play with play-doh and finger paints to get the same experience and stimulation.

T.,

I don't know if I have any advice for you, but I wanted you to know that my 18 month old is doing pretty much the same thing right now, which makes me crazy. I am glad that she has an awareness and seems like she will be ready to potty train much younger than her sister (who just learned at 3 1/2), but it is a mess. Yesterday morning I heard her in her crib and when I went in she had taken off her diaper and peed all over her crib! Then today while I was on the computer, she pooped and immediately took off her diaper and sat on the floor, leaving poop all over the floor! When I try to take her to the potty she prefers to stand so she'll stand at the potty chair, but not sit, therefore pooping on the floor each time. I still think that is pretty good for only 18 months, but I sure wish she would SIT on the potty, not just stand at it!

The one thing I have started doing, which I thought we were done with, is putting her in onesies. She cannot undo them yet and if I have enough clothing on her she won't get to the diaper before I get to the diaper.

D.

Oh, you are bringing me back to an unpleasant memory! My firstborn used to "decorate" regularly when he was 2, usually during naptime. I ended up just giving up on naps, because I, like you, was just so sick of cleaning up poop. He was also "strong-willed" and just didn't care what kinds of discipline I might use on him. He would hold in his poop all day so that he would have something to do when he was supposed to be napping. So I feel your pain, and yes, of course, this is just a phase. You can try onesies and all that, but if your daughter is like my kids she'll figure that out pretty soon. I used to put him in onesies and overalls and belts, and they did hold things off a bit. This may be a great time to embrace potty training if you can find some way to put a positive spin on it. I found that, although my two daughters also had one or two incidents with poop decorating, they both tired of it. I think it continued with my son because it became a control issue ("I can hold it in, then get it when I need it an PISS MOMMMY OFF EVERY TIME!!! COOL!"), and potty training poop in general became a long, difficult struggle because it became a control issue, too. I hope that helps. If nothing else, you are not alone. (And I guess I wasn't either...)

Hi T.,

One thing that I have seen and heard works is, every time she puts her hands in her diaper make her wash her hands. Don't do it for her , make her do it! Pretty soon she'll get sick of having to wash her hands that she should stop doing it. Toddlers don't like to have their play interrupted. If you are consistant and follow through it should work!

I think all kids do this, my daughter only stopped when i stopped giving her diapers. She still hasn't mastered pooping in the potty she will do it two or three times a week but the other times she asks for a diaper, I let her poop, then immediately change her leaving no time for her to play. Get out some play dough or finger paints daily to give her something else to do with her hands and get out that urge.

My two year old would take her diaper off after naps and smear poop all over the crib but yes, it was just a phase!

My solution to this horror was to put her in a onesie for naps. This way, it made it much more difficult to get her hands down the back or to take the diaper off.

Maybe it's time to potty train - I have yet to do it (going to do it in August) but I hear that training for poop is easier than pee. Good luck!

Hi T.,
I don't have much time, but I wanted to quickly respond with some idea. Again this is only a phase issue, and having a baby at home makes a lot of sense with this phase, look at how much attention she is getting from you when she makes her mess. Just keep telling her this is yucky and no more, calmly, clean up quietly. Next, I have seen in Parenting magazine, some people actually use duct tape around the waist of the diaper for "extra" help. Or even try a onesis type deal. Maybe if she can't get to her poop, or it's harder, she'll be less willing to do it, or you'll catch her mess before she does. Good luck!~D.

I'm not sure that discipline like time-outs is appropriate at this time, because I do think that this is a very normal phase of development. She is starting to learn and understand the fascinating things her body can do! :) We used Potty Traning for Dummies and it was very effective. I think they deal with this stuff in the book. Also, we got our daughter a storybook about going on the potty and read it to her at various times outside of "potty-training" time so that the concepts became ingrained naturally. Learning to use the potty is a huge task for a small child and requires a lot of time and patience. The book really helped me understand all the details that go into it for a 2 year old. Our strong-willed daughter did very well when I followed the plan. Good luck! A.

you say she might be ready for potty training. i agree with you. in meantime, get tape, and tape her diaper for nighttime (on the sides). that was the only way for us. didn't last long as i potty trained soon after the 'curiosity about bowel movement' started. my kids learned how to get the onesies off. so that didn;'t help matters. tape did.
good luck

T.,
Potty training IS a very difficult phase, but rest assured, it will all be worth it in the end. My son did the same thing around 2 and so we potty trained him then as well. Once we took him out of the diapers, he stopped playing with his poop. My aunt suggested I try cloth diapers for naptime (this was usually when he was holding his poop for the nap diaper) and once I put them on, he hated them and pooped in the potty for me. (I also used lollipops as bribery).
You can do it, I KNOW how frustrating it can be, but he is now 2 1/2 and completely out of diapers...so much easier!!
S.

Have you tried taking the diaper off? Since you are a stay at home mom, take the diaper off and put the potty in a place in the kitchen or near wear you are with your children and ask her often if she needs to use the potty. Make sure that you reward her for her good effort. Good luck.