Two Week Old Only Wants to Sleep on the Breast

Updated on April 08, 2009
K.W. asks from Wilmington, DE
12 answers

Hi all,
I recently purchased a snuggle nest hoping that my two week old would sleep better at night if he was in the bed with us. He loves to fall asleep on my breast and no matter how asleep I think he is, he always wakes up and won't go back to sleep when I try to slide him in the snuggle nest. I did have one successful night with the snuggle nest where he slept in it for a 3 hour and 2 hour stretch, but haven't been able to do it again. I don't think he likes being on his back ,and I've noticed that his breathing sounds funny when he is. I realize that he is still so young that it's impossible to have a sleep pattern yet, but I'm worried about his safety at night. He likes to sleep crushed up against me and I know that I can't let him for his own safety. When he wakes up from my trying to move him I pretty much have to nurse him again in order to get him settled again. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for the great advice!!!! I really appreciate the articles on co-sleeping. It is reassuring to hear that everyone uses their own intuition and methods with their babies. I was trying too hard to follow the strict guidelines. I personally feel that co-sleeping with a newborn feels so natural. We actually had a very successful night last night with the snuggle nest. I swaddled him up and held my body up against him until he was asleep. He woke up for two feedings. After the second feeding I kept him by my side because it was almost morning and I could tell that he wasn't quite as sleepy and probably wouldn't go back in the snuggle nest. I think that I have decided that I am going to always try to keep him in the snuggle nest, but if he simply refuses then I will follow the safe measures of co-sleeping. Thanks again for helping me get a decent night's sleep last night, I am forever grateful!

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A.R.

answers from State College on

Just want to wish you luck. I slept in a recliner for the first 2 1/2 months with my first. He hated being swaddled and would not sleep if not in my arms. He did outgrow it after that. We tried the car seat, swing, etc. Hang in there!

More Answers

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi K.,

If you are breastfeeding, contact your local La Leche League Representative.

www.llli.org

Good luck. D.

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I totally misread and now realize you nest is in bed with you.

If it were me, for the short time he wants to be close, I would just endure the lack of sleep. It won't last forever, they really do become more secure and independent in their sleeping patterns.

Congrats on co-sleeping!

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J.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.,

Congrats on your new baby boy! It is pretty typical for babies to want to be snuggled up against you to sleep. It is warm and feels much like it did when they were in your belly. Do you swaddle your baby? I would suggest swaddling him at night so that he fees snug and secure while sleeping. I never put my son to sleep on his back. I always put him on his side and I would alternate which side he was on each time I put him down so that he never developed a preference for which side he would sleep on. As long as he isn't on his belly (you can use a receiving blanket to prop him up), then side sleeping is just as safe as back sleeping. Don't worry - it will get better. Right now he is so little and there really isn't any harm in snuggling up with him in bed as long as he has room to breathe.

You can read this article on cosleeping on my blog: http://mommynewsblog.com/one-moms-view-on-breastfeeding-a...

Congrats again!
J.
A Mother's Boutique
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V.F.

answers from Scranton on

There is nothing wrong with cosleeping. My dd was the same way anytime I put her down except for her nap she'd wake up. When I brought her home from the hospital she'd sleep curled up in my armpit. You would be much better off having him sleep with you. Especially if there are breathing issues of any kind. You would be more likely to notice it even if you are sleeping. You can't believe how intuitive you become when you have a newborn in bed with you. Visit www.mothering.com/discussions/

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K., Do you have a basinet or cradle? If you do put it next to your bed, and try putting him to bed on his side. You can buy (or at least you used to be able to) little tringle shaped "bolsters" that would help keep a baby sleeping on their side. You could also try letting him sleep on his tummy. I think that the newest popular recommendation is to have babies sleep on their side to prevent SIDS, but the simple fact of the matter is they don't know what causes SIDS (which is why it's called SIDS). When my oldest was an infant they told us to put her on her tummy, when my middle one (two years later) was an infant it was put them on their sides...and three years after that they changed their minds again. I think you should just find the way that suits your child the best in the safest place possiable. Our girls always slept in a cradle next to my side of the bed where I could put a hand out and touch them in an instant. You also might want to try using a pacifier for a few months (not more than the first year though!). It is hard teaching independant sleep, but it is a life-long gift. Best wishes.

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S.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Good suggestions so far. My second son (1 month old) is only sleeping when in bed with us, snuggled in my armpit. My first son only slept in his bouncy seat next to my bed. I know some other kids only sleep in their swing or carseat. You may want to give those a try. Don't worry about how long it will last. At about six months my son was no longer comfy in his bouncy seat (too big) and he went right to his crib in his room with little trouble. Good luck.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

Try holding the snuggle nest against yourself for periods of the day, so it smells like you ??

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wondering if you are swaddling him when you put him in the Snuggle Nest?

Remember how he is used to being tight in your belly warm and safe so he still needs to feel that closeness. I remember when my son was tiny he just needed to hear and feel our chests and hearts beating, either my husband or I. I know they have a teddy bear that has the womb sounds, you could try that in the Snuggle Nest too. I'm pretty sure they sell them at Babies R Us.

I wish you lots of luck!! The best is yet to come!

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L.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

The same thing happened with us and the Snuggle Nest. She never used it. I tried putting her in the basinette next to our bed, she'd sleep 20 mins. If she slept next to me, she's sleep 4 hours. It didn't take me long to do the math. From birth to 41/2 mos. she slept in our bed next to me. She nursed when she wanted and hardly ever cried... sometimes my husband didn't even know she had woken up!

I think its fine for the baby to sleep next to you for the first few months. Trust me... you'll get MUCH MORE SLEEP. Just never drink alcohol or take any medicine that would make you sleep heavier. You'll know where the baby is and you won't roll onto him. Dr. Sears is a big advocate of co-sleeping, so if you want reassurance pick up one of his books. Good luck and sweet dreams. :)

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M.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

hi K.,

reading your post all i could see was my family in my head. i was 29 when i had my son who is now 2 1/2 & the first 2 months of his life were interesting to say the least! :)

he would ONLY sleep on us & usually it was me because he needed to be close to my breast. even if he wasn't hanging off of it he needed to be close to the smell of it i assumed. we had a pack & play & i really did not begin to use that until he was older & we would go to friends homes. i read so much about babies like ours & they descibe it as the 4th trimester. our babies still need to be close to us like they way they were in the womb. but i know it is so hard to live life that way. i tried talking to doctors, lactation consultants, reading everything i could find online & something always contradicted what i just read or heard. it was actually making me crazier in the end. looking back i wish i had just trusted my own instincts & realized every baby is different. mine happened to only want to sleep ON me which meant NO sleep for me, but although it didn't feel this way at the time it is not forever. i actually wish i had embraced that time more. i found slings to be the answer to his neediness. not for sleeping of course but for everyday life, especially going to the bathroom or getting something to eat.

anyway, i hope this was a bit helpful. when our son was 2 months we finally put him into his own crib in his room. it was the best choice we made for all of us. oh! & he LOVED to be swaddled. the swaddle me blanket was a staple in our daily life for the first 5 months of his life. i think when the sleep & there is nothing around them they feel alone & like they are falling. sounds like your baby needs that closeness too so try swaddling him up nice & tight & putting him on his side in a wedge sleep positioner. that was the only way we got some sleep. hang in there!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

This is a hard one because you're worried about his safety. I nursed 4 children and loved it. I didn't worry about nursing them to sleep until about 4 months... then I used the Ferber Method successfully with all (although it took a couple weeks). I would say, enjoy every second of the baby nursing next to you to sleep. But I would also advise you to ask your pediatrician about the funny breathing sound when he lies on his back. Furthermore, if you feel it's unsafe to have him next to you, then you really should try to move him after he falls asleep so that he doesn't suffocate because that does happpen. I remember doing this and sometimes it took a long time for the baby to fall completely asleep enough for me to move him. But, I don't think there is anything wrong with having him fall asleep at your breast at this early time in his life. It is wonderful and it's the best place for him!

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