How Do I Get a One Month Old to Sleep in His Own Bed?

I breastfed, too. For the first two weeks home from the hospital, I slept on the couch with the baby on my chest (or plugged in to nurse). Then, we took one side off the crib and secured it to my side of the bed (cheap version of what they call a co-sleeper), and I would just nurse the baby and when he got older he would roll over into his own space.
I held both my boys for hours and hours, for naps or whatever. Used one of those slings, so I hardly ever put them down for any reason. Neither one hardly ever fussed. It's called attachment parenting. Good books by Dr. Sears and his wife. At 5 weeks old, a baby's instinct is to stay close to parents. Also, statistics indicate that babies that sleep with their parents do not expire from SIDS. OK, there are a few doofuses out there who have been drunk, drugged, sick, or otherwise impaired who have smothered their babies, true. But I slept with a 2 1/2 lb. chihuahua for years and never did anything bad to her. My sons are nearly 5 and 2 1/2. The little guy still sleeps in the co-sleeper crib (we finished nursing 6 months ago), but the older one happily sleeps in his room or on the living room floor with the big, old, blind dog who cannot go upstairs. I know everybody tells you this, but THE TIME GOES SO FAST! Honestly, cuddle and hold your dear little one while you can. There is no such thing as a "spoiled" baby (OK, maybe one who needs a clean diaper), and they get their needs met and become VERY secure; thus are not clingy later.
I hope this helps you. My husband loved when the baby slept on his chest, and would even take the little sleeper after he was done nursing, just to have cuddle time. It is great that your husband is willing to be so involved. Listen to your gut instincts, watch a mama cat with her kittens, and most importantly, listen to what the baby needs. You're off to a great start!

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Dear A., it must be frustrating to feel that you can't get anytime to yourself. However, please remember that for 9 months your little angel was with you constantly. He has only been in his radically new environment for one month! Imagine how you would feel if you were sitting in your chair reading a good book then all of a sudden you were on the moon by yourself where nothing was familiar or safe. Your newborn feels safe listening to your heart beat, breathing and voice. He needs to know that you and your husband are near. The only way to do that is to let him hear you, smell you and see you. Please do not banish your one month old to a place where he will feel scared, alone and unloved. As he grows you will treasure the time you spent with him as an infant. It goes by so fast. Before you know it he will be pushing you away, emabarrased to be seen with mommy.

If you do place him in a crib be sure and keep it in your room as babies sleeping in cribs in another room die from higher rates of sides.

A. Twiggs, RD, LD, IBCLC
###-###-#### (call me if you want to discuss this further)

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I am a nurse and have a Masters degree in midwifery. I just recently attended the TriState Breastfeeding Advocates Conference. One of the speakers was Dr. James Mckenna who is the renowed expert on co-sleeping. He has done numerous studies on the subject. Women have slept with their babies for centuries, and still do in many parts of the world. Actually, there is still a majority in the US who sleep with their babies at least some of the time.

What he has determined through sleep research is that sleeping with your baby in bed is not only safe, it should be encouraged. But, there is a safe way to do it. You should not co-bed if the mother is a smoker or dad is a heavy smoker, especially if the mother smoked during pregnancy. You also should not co-bed if you're using drugs, or taking sleep medications. Additionally, you should not sleep with your baby on a sofa, chair, or waterbed.

Parents are not human rolling pins for babies. They have an unconscious connection with the baby and would wake up immediately if they felt like they were going to roll on the baby. The connection is even stronger in mothers who breastfeed.

Also, it has been theorized that the rate of SIDS is decreased when the mother is breathing into the baby's air space. The breathing out of carbon dioxide stimulates a breathing response in the baby. The fact remains that over 95% of SIDS deaths occur in. . . CRIBS! Maybe we should be looking at whether or not it is safe for a baby to sleep unattended rather than what mothers have been doing for centuries.

If you want support for having the baby in your bed, Dr. Sears is a good resource. I'm sure there are also some excellent articles on the web if you do a search for co-sleeping.

Oh, and don't let anyone tell you that you're starting a bad habit. Children do not develop logical thinking until age 2, and then it is still very immature until age 6. They only know what they perceive that they need. A one month old percieve the need for adult contact for survival. No wonder he wakes up every time you put him down. Do yourself a favor and keep him snuggled up next to you at night. You'll all get much more rest that way.

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I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you...my 2 year old still sleeps in our bed. He was much like your baby by the sound of it and would not sleep by himself from the start. I didn't stay at home but he was the only child at the sitters' - a retired couple who fell so in love with him, they couldn't put him down. Literally. It took a long time for my son to be able to stay asleep more than 40 minutes if he was alone but now he does pretty well. Still in our bed, though.

The thing is, though, we don't mind. It doesn't sound like your husband minds either. I think my advice would be to consider safe co-sleeping as an option (unless you're just really not into it). Try reading Dr. Sears advice on how to do it safely. I think he's pretty much the expert and the biggest advocate.

If you do decide to co-sleep, be prepared for some second-guessing by your family, friends and even yourself. My mother-in-law constantly asked us when my son was going to sleep in his bed. I just laughed it off and told her he slept in his bed every single night and he's kind enough to allow us to sleep with him!! Finally, one night she babysat for us and we were out kind of late so she had to put him to bed. When we came home, we found her asleep with him all cuddled up. She never said another word about it.

Do what you feel is right. It will work out.

L.

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What worked for me was just time. I am a first time mom to a now 26 week old girl. She too would only get deep sleep if she was laying on me (as a newborn.) Eventually she slept deeply in bed beside me (around 2 months.) I now have an 'Arms Reach Co-sleeper' attached to the bed, and she sleeps there just fine. We too are breastfeeding-she can sleep through the night but typically wakes for one to two sleepy short feeds a night.
I went through a frustrating period where I thought I wanted her to sleep in her crib by herself-I began around 2-3 months to put her down in her crib during the day for every nap. It took about a week, but eventually she adjusted and now takes two hour naps twice daily in her bed. She still sleeps beside me at night-but I much prefer it to having to get up and go to her room for her night feedings.
Hang in there-sleep will come! Till then-enjoy the closeness.

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Hi A.,
I am no expert... (my name is M., I am a full time stay at home mom of 2 wonderful children...Boy 2 1/2 and girl 20 months.) I know that this time can be overwhelming and all. I brestfed both of my children it is not easy at times. Both of our children slept on our chests for the first few months. I would put them in their basinets for a few hours at night and during the day so that I could get some rest and get a few things done. Be easy on yourself...babies really like the closeness of you and your husband. Try swaddling with a light blanket. Enjoy this time for it will not last. I was so worried about it but it all worked out ok! I hope that I helped. Take care of yourself and the baby. Enjoy!! :) M.

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Hi A.,
You have received some great advice especially from Summer,Ann T & Jennifer to name a few. I am a second time new Mom. My firstborn turned 16 at the end of July and my sweet Isabelle (who is alseep on my lap right now) turned 2 months August 30, yesterday.
16 years ago I had never heard the term co-sleeping. I only knew my daughter was safe and we both felt secure. I did not even consider bbbuying a crib with my newborn. I did purchase a co-sleeper which is great as it turns out for holding diapers. I nursed with my firstborn and am currently nursing my newborn. Co-sleeping just seems to work better for my family and the decision to breast feed.
I just returned to work this week and miss the baby terribly, I would give anything for an afternoon nap with her on my chest. My co workers insist I am spoiling her.I promptly inform them you cannot spoil a baby at this age. When they cry they are telling you they have a need. When they cry to be held even while sleeping they are asking you to make them feel safe and secure, not to take away the one thing they have had their whole existance...you. It must be very frightening to placed in big bed far from safe, warm human contact I am certain that is why they cry for us. I do not think they do it to keep us from sleeping.

By the way last night was our first full nights sleep and our sling is still our best friend it even goes to daycare with my daughter.

Good luck with your little blessing

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I know you have to do what works for you and what you're comfortable with, but we just co-sleep. My husband and I both get a lot more sleep, and we are both very aware of our son's presence (my husband is even a very heavy sleeper...but is still aware). The only time we don't co-sleep is if either of us has taken something that makes us drowsy for fear of not such a heightened sense of awareness. My son sleeps best with us because he feels safe and secure (he was inside the womb for 9 1/2 months...independence is a tough thing so early for him)...since he sleeps we sleep. Best of luck!

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Wait until he is a little older. But if you can get him to nap in his crib or playpin by himself you can slowly move him into the crib.

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Hi A.,

My son was like that too for the first three months. He didn't want to be left alone at all. We have a king size bed and just let him sleep with us. It worked out best for us since I am also breastfeeding, and don't want to get out of bed to nurse in the middle of the night. He is nearly 8 months old now. I can nurse him to sleep now and get up afterwards. He usually only gets up once or twice in the night.

I would recommend you get a sling to carry him in (the Maya sling with padded shoulder is awesome http://store.attachedtobaby.com/detail.aspx?ID=268&Na.... At least then you'll be able to get stuff done while he's napping in the daytime.

A book that may have some ideas that help you is "The No Cry Sleep Solution." It talks about implementing a bed time route to help babies wind down and get ready for bed. I see others suggested Dr. Sears - he is also an excellent resource http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp.

Hang in there Mamma. Have you heard the first three months referred to as the "fourth trimester"? It is so tough, but it won't last forever. Soon you'll be wondering where the days went when he needed you so much.

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I am a nursing mom too. And to be honest there's nothing better than having a baby snuggle you but I'm a bit anxious about the co-sleeping idea. I just don't get good rest that way. When sleep becomes a precious comodity you tend toprotect it. Here's what worked for us...
I would put a heating pad on low in my babys' crib, covered with the blanket I intended to, use for about 10 minutes before I indented to lay either of them down. i.e. while I'm nursing the heating pad is on keeping the bed warm. When I'm done nursing I remove the heating pad, swadle my baby in the warm blanket and lay him in a nice warm spot. Almost like dad's chest. My husband was amazed at how well this worked...
A word of caution, I would NEVER leave the heating pad in the bed with my baby. Babies skin is so sensative, they can burn even through clothes.

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My son is almost 2 weeks old and started doing the same thing not long after being brought home. I have found that a bouncie seat is a good tool to use. We put it next to the bed and that way he can still feel close to us at night and during the day we let him fall asleep in the seat and then lay him in bed when he is in a deep sleep. He wakes up faster when we do that so it is also easier to breastfeed him.

Don't start letting him fall asleep on you or your husband. I know it seems inicent at the time as all you and your husband want to do is get some sleep but we did the same thing until our son was 4 months old and it took as from 4 mo till 6.5 months or crying every night for up to 2 hrs till he learned to fall asleep himself in his crib. If you can let him learn know to sleep on is own in his own bed. Give him everything he needs then put him down when he's tired. We'd give our son a bath every night before bed and his bottle and got into a routine that settled him down before bed. Another idea we did was darken my son's room I don't know why but it works keeping it pitch dark with no lights on. A night or two now will be worth it in the long run with your son's great sleeping ability. Good Luck!!!!

He might like the warmth, or the physical contact, or the security,or the company (my kids did all of the above :)) My son had to stretch full-length on our chests to fall asleep, and we couldn't move him until he was fully asleep. He is still very touch-oriented, and hates to be alone.

You might try warming his bed with a heating pad or hot-water bottle before you put him in it (you can't put him ON them because of a burn risk). My daughter also HATED her crib, so we let her sleep in her infant car seat for the first 4 months. It felt more secure and cozy, plus she had reflux and it helped to keep her upright. She also needed a lot of warmth, and insisted on sleeping in her pick fuzzy snowsuit! We were worried about over-heating, but we ALL needed sleep (she was colicky too), and decided to risk it.

If it is the having company and/or physical contact, try letting him snuggle for A LONG time before you put him down. My son would only take naps ON me or his Daddy for the first 2 months - he needed it (and again, I needed a break). He would sleep at night in his crib, but I had to snuggle him on my chest for about a half hour before I could get him to relax enough to lay him down.

That's the best that I can do - good luck!

I have not had that problem but i was told by a friend that when their daughter was having the same issue as your son her husband slept on the sheets of the bassinet or crib to get the scent of him onto them so that when they put the baby down she would smell him on the sheets. Just an idea not sure if you want to try it or not.

When my son was 4 weeks old my husband and I started putting him down in the crib in his own room at night. (Note: we purchased one of those mommy bears that makes the womb sound which really helps to settle him down still, 13 months later) The first night we put him down at 8pm and started a movie. After 5 minutes of crying we would go in to the room, lights off and no talking, pick him up until he settled down and immediately put him back in the crib. Then we would gradually increase the time that we would wait before going back into his room. The first night was the hardest I think it took almost 45 minutes to get him to sleep but watching the movie helped to control my impulses and take my mind off of the crying. I was really impressed because within a few days our son was used to the bedtime routine and I just checked his baby book to be sure but by 3 months he was in the routine and sleeping 6-9 hours at night. I know it sound harsh but I really feel like sleeping is one of the most important parts of a baby's life, I kept telling myself that as a parent I had to make good decisions for my child and not be controlled by my own emotions. If I allowed myself to go in and hold him while he cried I think I would never get him to sleep on his own and that is really important for him to do. Good luck and I hope this helps!

Hi A.,

My son did the same thing he would only sleep on my husbands chest or mine and I was breast feeding too. I found out that if you get into the habit of doing this then that will be the only way they will sleep break the habit now, they are used to listening to the heart beats when they are in the womb, that is why the chest is so comfortable for them. Trust me they are creatures of habit and you need to start it off right. It may take a few days of fussing and crying as you keep putting him in his crib or pack in play he will evenually get use to it and will find a way to sooth himself to sleep. I actually ended up putting my son in his infant car seat next to my bed at night he would at least sleep this went on until 3 months finally I worked with him during the day by putting him in his crib for naps and letting him fuss for awhile it's hard but trust me it will work. Good luck

Swaddeling is the best way that I found to get my 4 kids to sleep on thier own. Just wrap him up tight. Make sure you're laying him down when he's still awake. If he cries a little that's ok. Try not to pick him up right away. Then continue to comfort him. I didn't normally pick them back up, I'd just get my face down next to thiers and comfort them with soft words, kisses and shhh's. The shhhhing reminds them of the womb and I found that really worked. You know your babies cries or will soon, just listen to him. He has to learn to sleep on his own and you have to teach him. Good Luck!

Hi there. Not sure if this will help. I have been a nanny for the past 6 years (all with newborns and premature twins) and also a mom of an 18 month old daughter. I personally don't believe in the whole co-sleeping thing (one family still has a 6 yr old who still sleeps with them) but thats just me. And you should do what you is best for you. I had my daughter sleeping through the night (11pm-6am) at 4 weeks. I swaddled her tightly, used a pacifier (which proved to be a maybe not so smart move once she started losing it all the time...), and used a fan. I have a small fan for sound in her room (my mother thinks I am horrible for doing this...). Also, try making it cooler in your house. Despite what many think. Babies don't like to be hot. So if yo are swaddiling your baby could be he/she is hot? Personally, this what I did with my daughter. I would swaddle her, turn on the fan, turn on her night light, turn off her room light, then lay her down. Seemed to work for me.. Each child is different but I swear with the exception of the 6 yr co-sleeper, that swaddling and white noise helps... Anyway, good luck!

I know it may seem hard but I think that the only way is to just let him fuss and he will be ok. It may take a few days but he will adjust. He is being cranky because he is used to being on your chest. We just had to go through the same thing with our 11 month old. She wanted to sleep in our bed every night and nap. We just moved into a house and decided she was old enought to share a room with her big sis (6) she cried for a few nights until she got super sleepy and then it was over. The hardest part is hearing your little one cry. I think he will be ok as long as you nip it early, unlike us. Good luck to you!

heres a lil trick that i did as a nursing mother that worked like a charm; i kept my daughter awake the whole time she fed at 8 pm (took about 1/2 hour) and then changed her into pj's, changed the diaper, and put her in the bassinet AWAKE even at 1 month old and i always wore a thin t shirt underneath my clothes and i would lay that underneath my daughter when she would lay down to bed. if that didny work i wadded it up and stuck it in the corner so she couldn't suffocate but could still smell me "close to her". the first couple nights were a little rough being as my ex husband thought i was abusing my child for not giving into her and rocking her to sleep and she was crying so he'd try and intervene but i stood my ground but this is what i did to console and comfort her instead of picking her up everytime; i went in every 10 minutes (or when she'd get really worked up) and just talk calmly and rub her tummy or forehead and get her settled a little bit and she would go right out in about 1/2 hour max and she would sleep longer stretches. i had several friends that thought i was terrible for this but the funny thing is they have the nerve to ask me how i get my daughter (now 5) to crash at 8 pm every night with out doing silly things like rocking her or giving her a bottle (that's the worst thing you can do) or letting her play her self to sleep at 1 am... routines and schedules work wonders and being firm on things like this even though its hard has the greatest reward.... your child can do something as difficult as falling asleep on his own all by himself!! good luck!! remember it does take a bit but consistancy is key for lil ones like this.

A.,
This is probably going to be the most unpopular advice you get due to the recent SIDS scares, but I can only tell you what has worked for me with my three children now 4, 2 and almost 4 months. When they were newborns, I swaddled them in a blanket and layed them on their side, not on their back. If I layed them on their back (tried with all three) they were up every half hour. When they turned two months old, I layed them on their stomach and they would sleep 3 or more hours at a time. I can't explain it, but it has worked for me.

J. F.

A.,
I am not sure I have good answer for you because I let my son sleep on me during the day but at night I would put him in his crib after rocking him to sleep. I did not manage to get but a couple of house of sleep throught the first couple of months, than a friend of mine told me that a baby was never hurt by crying. I took his advise because he had 5 kids. The first 3 days was so hard to just let my son cry but day 4 I woke up scared something had happened to my son because he didn't cry at all instead that was his turning point to sleep until he was hungry. Anyway I hope just knowing you are not alone will help.

P.S I live in Clinton Village as well.

Hi A.,

I don't know if my experience works for you and your baby. My son fell asleep while I breast fed him. Then I had no problem putting him in crib. If he didn't, I still put him on my bed (my husband had to sleep somewhere else to leave enough room for us) and played with him for a while. Then he got tired and fell asleep.

Hi A.,

I am a working mom of a 10-month old, but stayed home with our son for the first three months. What really worked for us was having a bassinet in our room. It was one of the older, wicker kind that sits on a stand, that way he was almost level to the bed. I could just peek over and watch him sleep, and I think he was comforted because we were all in the same room.
He actually had three beds: one was a cradle for the living room that was really handy for the first 6 weeks when his sleeping pattern was so erratic. I could lay him down there after I nursed him and he'd sleep for a few hours during the day. Then after his "last" feeding of the day (usually around 11 or midnight), we'd put him in his bassinet in our room and he would usually sleep about four hours or so. When he was about 2-1/2 months old he was too long for the bassinet, so we had to teach him to sleep in his crib (during the day and night). That was really hard at first, but it seemed to really work for us, especially becuase the baby monitors are so good these days, you can hear everything (they're almost too good!).

I hope that helps! Good luck on your new journey into parenthood. It's the best job in the world -- I wouldn't trade it for anything!
-T.
Livonia, MI

We used a bassinet next to the bed, so that if he fusses you can put your hand on him to let him know it is ok. Or the one that fits in the bed, so that you can not roll on him. Trust me, my husband put our first son to sleep in his arms or on his chest. Now he is almost 3 and still comes in our bed, he won't even go to sleep in his bed first! Now we have twins and I fought to keep them in the crib, plus a show on SIDS came on TV that my husband saw and magically he said, they should sleep in the crib. Now they sleep almost through the night, but the 3 year old does not!
Good luck,

i had the same problem with both of my kids, then some one told me to take the shirt that i was wearing that day and put it in the crib with them. it worked for me hopfully it will help you out.C.

Our oldest son loved to be bundled up and held tightly. So I heard from someone that some children sleep better swadled up and put in their infant seat. So our son slept in his infant carrier for the first 3 months of life. It always seemed weird, but it worked! It wasn't hard to transition him to his bed when it was time either, which was nice. Hope this helps you.

Please do not let him sleep on your chests. So dangerous. Maybe a small ticking clock near his crib, or I am sure they make a toy that will soothe him in his crib. Keep trying my dear. Look up some toy stores. Talk to your pediatrician. Be careful. Maybe a vibrating bassinette, he seems to like the movement of your husband breathing and the sound of his heart. Much happiness to your new family. Give him a kiss for me.

Have you tried swaddling? This may work because it will keep hime warm with a safe feeling. Also a warm heat packto the bed before you lay him down so it is still warm and comfy. Maybe even pack a shirt of yours so it has your scent or your husband tucked into the swaddle. Good luck.
A.

Hi,
First, let me assure you, this is typical of a first born and a first time Mom! I am a newborn care specialist and the foster parent for an adoption agency. I have brought 37 newborns home from the hospital since 2001. Go to www.cincibabylady.com to see who I am.

I can offer the following advice, it will only take a couple of days and I promise you are not hurting him! He is just used to sleeping with you and you have to teach him to sleep alone. You know the feeling you have when your husband is not in bed next to you, it's sort of the same thing.

Try waiting until he is drowsy and put him down awake, soothe him with your voice, a pacifier, a heart beat bear, noise machine...whatever...but try not to pick him up. I would put him in the nursery, not next to you and no monitor! You will hear him...I live in a house that is around 5000sq feet and the nursery is down the hall from the master, I have no trouble hearing a baby when they are really awake. When they are next to you or use the monitor, you tend to soothe to quickly and they never learn to soothe themselves. In the night, wait 60 seconds before you go to him, I mean 60 seconds of loud fussing. Babies make noise as they soothe themselves to sleep. Many times if you give him a chance, he will put himself back to sleep. If you started this way it would be automatic, now you just need to teach him a new way.

At a month old I would encourage the following schedule, from 7am-10 pm feed every 3 hours...then only between 2-3 am...this should not be problem. By feeding every 3 hours during the day, you break long sleep cycles and encourage the day/night routine. Remember the biggest key is leaving him be until he is fussing for 60 seconds straight! It will seem like eternity, but you can rationalize that if you were in the shower he culd fuss for 60 seconds and all would be fine!

I promise this is very typical of a first time Mom, me included! Teaching good sleep habits early is the best gift you can give yourself! Please give me a call if you want more info. Angee

Hi A.,
I used the 3-in-1 secure sleeper from One Step Ahead. Both of my girls have slept fine with that in the bassinet and crib. My youngest is only a month old and is still in the bassinet but we haven't had any problems with her sleeping in there. It snuggles the baby in, so maybe your son would like that. Good Luck!

My son is 5 1/2 months and I have had the same problem with him. First i would ask you if he is just fussing, or if he is really crying. I ask that because my son was just diagnosed with Reflux, and when i would lay him flat in bed, he knew he was going to start hurting so he didnt want to lay flat, but if he was in his swing, or being held he felt better. I would try to swaddle him first and the white noise others have mentioned is great, worked well with my daughter. And like the others have said, he is only a month old and may not sleep very long at a time anyway, and at that age they like to be held a lot anyway. Especially if you are brestfeeding you feel like you are always holding them. Just reassure him that you are there and that everything is ok, it will just take some time. Hang in there.

I know he's only one month old, but you've already set up a sleep pattern for him! Babies fuss! Set-up a new sleep pattern--he's going to fuss. It may take a few nights, but he'll adjust. Everyone always wants transitions to be fuss-less....who are we kidding?

I don't want to get into the whole "co-sleeping" debate at all - I also had some trouble with my daughter in those early stages and spent many nights and even afternoon naps, with her sleeping on me, but by 3-4 months she was pretty much a bed sleeping champ. A few things that really helped were an awesome mobile - it played several different sounds including music and nature sounds, and had a light display that displayed on the ceiling and walls - fisher price makes a couple like this. They also have remotes so that you can re-start it without entering the room completely. We also used a cradle in our bedroom for about the first 2 months - it was close by for nursing and you could rock it instead of picking the baby up. The good news is he is still so young, you haven't made too much of a habit for him yet - the first few months are very hard just trying to get whatever sleep you can! Just commit yourself to working through it and you'll all be fine. It's hard at those young ages too because it's so much fun to cuddle them when they are sleeping - Good luck!

I went through the same thing with my baby. She never seemed to go into a deep sleep unless she was in someone's arms. All the little noises she would make in the middle of the night would terrify me... I kept thinking she was choking (can you tell I'm a first time mom? ha ha!).

Anyway, the Miracle Blanket worked for us. I'd read an article about it before the baby was born and in desperation I ordered one. It worked great! She didn't sleep through the night or anything, but I finally started getting a few hours of sleep at a time. Basically it's nothing more than a swaddling blanket, but it's a lot better than the ones you can find at Babies R Us. The web site is here, and it has tons of info: http://www.miracleblanket.com/

We weaned her off the Miracle Blanket around 3.5 or 4 months as suggested on the web site - no problem. She's 7 months old now and sleeps through the night like a champ!

I have a 9 week old, and she is like that also. I carry her around in a sling all day. I asked the Dr. about this and he said that it is not a problem, there is research saying that "babywearing" makes for more securely attached toddlers. The Dr. Sears website has a lot of great information on this topic... www.askdrsears.com. As for your night dilema, Rebekah was like this also, she would only sleep with me laying beside her, and sometimes the only way to get her to sleep was to let her sleep on your chest. But she has since outgrown this. She still sleeps with us, we have used cosleeping with both of our children, but she doesn't have to be on us or right beside us to go to sleep and stay asleep now. So just be reassured in the fact that they outgrow it eventually. *great job for the breastfeeding!!* As for the daytime, I would definitely get a sling, we got ours a Babies R Us. Here is the Dr. Sears article on babywearing... http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051100.asp

I had the same problem w/my son. I let my children both sleep on me for 4 mo before I decited to put them in thier own beds, my son was real sick also. When I put him in his own bed I would wrap him tight in a blanket and tuck him in like swaddle him like they do in the hospital, he slept thru the night. IM real close to both my kids, I feel it bonds the two better w/me. I hope it works.

Hi A.,
I have two daughters, both of whom had some of the same issues. What I found that worked was letting them sleep in their infant car seat. I found that my daughters slept better that way. Perhaps they felt more secure, rather than lying in all of that "open space" of their crib when they were so tiny. (I would also strap them in their seats, not too tight, and not too loose). I also put the car seat IN the crib. I found that especially with my oldest, she was so used to sleeping in her room, that she has never had trouble wanting to sleep in our room. I credit that to her sleeping in her room from the beginning. I will tell you, that neither of my girls slept "well" in those first few weeks. My oldest did not start to sleep through the night until she was closer to three months, and my youngest (who's 5 months now) still wakes up at night. I know you are probably more tired now than you have ever been in your life (at least that's how I felt during those first few weeks) but it will get better, just give it time! Write me anytime if you have any questions! T.

A.,

This sounds strange, but my son slept in his swing for about the first 4 months! He HATED the crib and I wasn't comfortable with him sleeping with us b/c he was so small. He liked the swing so I would either put it in his room or my room and he would sleep for hours! I tried to limit its use during the day...but it was a lifesaver. We also had him sleep in his bouncing seat and/or car carrier sometimes too. The crib is so big...I think they feel lost. Maybe a bassinet would work too?

Good luck.

there is a product out there call mommy bear it sound like your heart beat try that it worked great for my seven year old daughter you can adjust the levelof voulme

I had to put the shirt I wore throughout the day in my son's crib with him, along with a heartbeat monitor. He would think I was there and rest easier.

I have completely been there before. All I can say is to stop worrying so much already. He is ONLY 1 month old. My son slept on our chests until about 2 months (as much as I hated it too but so many people do it for the first couple months). Then we put him to sleep in his car seat. It's safe and they can't roll out of it. I was also alone at night too as my husband was a nurse working 7p-7a at the time so I feel your pain. As for naps I don't think they take good naps until at least 10-12 months. So all I can say is to stop worrying and don't expect too much from him just yet. I hate to say this but you still have a long road ahead of you with the sleep thing, but you will get through it. Just take it one day at a time. And try the car seat.

Every new mom (including me) I know has had this same problem! Your son will sleep in his own bed in time; right now, he is still adjusting to the outside world. He was cuddled up nice and snug inside you for 9 months and now he is in this big, wide open space OUTSIDE you, so it's natural that he wants to be cuddled up close to you (and your husband)where it's warm, cozy and he can hear your heartbeat. Try putting him in his crib at 6 weeks, when he starts to figure out night and day (or about the same time he smiles at you for the first time). HANG IN THERE! Those first 6 weeks are BRUTAL, but they will pass!

A. C,

Here is an idea that worked for me with my now 18 year old, that I held non stop!!!

Wrap a blanket around the baby from the chest down and tuck in like a little nest. Put a burp cloth on your shoulder. Now hold the child as always to get them to sleep. Wait until good and sound a sleep. Then slowly get up. Walk to the crib and so as not to have too much cold air rush between you place the child in to crip, burp cloth and blanket still around baby, now put a blanket over the child. and they will sleep. They need to smell you hence the cloth and the blanket still feels like you are there!

Good Luck. If the baby awakes rub the back as you would normally do and coo softly. Trust me it works.
Saves you back later too!

C.

You need to remember he's only one month and really isn't totally aware of his surroundings...just you! So you stand firm and make the decision to let him sleep in his crib. I started at his first week home...swaddling tight enough and then for one moment we let him cry until he fell asleep and he never cried to sleep again...ever. I know that for some babies it's not that easy, but a lot of it is your willpower. We had his basinet in our room for only two months and then he slept 8 hours straight so that was time to move him to his room. It was no big deal for him...it really tends to be our big deal if we make it that! We are the parent. It's not safe to have them sleep with you or on your chest if you're apt to fall asleep yourself. They can not only suffocate or be smothered, but can die because you're breathing the air they need. So many cases of death have happened that way, so please try maybe start a routine that works for you guys. We bathed at 8:30 and nursed and made sure he was awake, then swaddled and set him down in bed and walked away! He now loves to lie down now that he's unswaddled. We did that at 6 months and then at 8 months we put the blanket on top of him. We just were cautious of SIDS. So please make a schedule for him...it's so wonderful for them and you. They love schedules!!

Have you tried swaddeling you baby when it sleeps? My daughter (now 3.5) was born in July but we still wrapped her up tight for bedtime. Just make sure his room is at a good temperature for a blanket. They love to be bundled up - it replicates how bundled they were in the womb. It may make him feel more at ease. Otherwise, just keep trying to put him in his crib - eventually he'll feel comfortable. Let him cry a little more each night - once he knows you'll always be there when he needs you he should be fine.

Hi A.,

My son was the same way.

My advice is to try a baby swing. Make sure of course that he is well supported - I used to use the same head support you can for car seats. I also used a baby blanket stuffed in the leg openings so he wouldn's slip down, etc.

This worked for me - hopefully it will for you. Good luck.

I used a co-sleeper (an actual mini crib w/ an open side next to my bed) until my son was almost 3mths old. I needed it b/c of the pain from C-section. We first started putting him in his bed for naps and gradually worked into the night time. We never had any problem, but we never let him sleep on our chest or in our arms. You may want to break that habit now b/c it will be so much more difficult later.
Sometimes we have to grin and bear it while our children get used to a different system. Eventually they will, but the key is to never resort back to the previous behavior.
My son has never once slept in our bed. He has been sleeping 10 hrs per night since 3mths of age. While he was sick I was tempted to let him sleep w/ me but I didn't give in. I slept w/ him in the recliner chair in his room while he was sick instead.
The bottom line is break that habit now or you'll pay even more! Good luck!

"Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Baby" was a book that did wonders in a week for our daughter and now our son. It has a lot of suggestions but I think the important thing is to be unified with your husband on how you want to deal with this together. (i.e. How long will you let the baby cry? Will you let the baby cry?) I like the approach to a well-rested "family".
My husband was in his last year of his ER residency with our first baby and first year as an attending with our second so I understand the crazy schedule.

I am happy to say that although I can't relate to the non-sleeping part I would like to offer my experience. My five month old has been sleeping through the night since she was about 2 and a half months old, first in her bassinett and now her crib. If for some reason she wakes up early in the morning I might giver her a bottle and put her in bed with me. Unfortunatly, I underestimated how much she moves and she took a dive off the bed when I fell back asleep. She was fine but it scared me a good deal. I know your little one is two little now but time flys and I would hate for you to get no sleep once he starts moving around. Good luck, break the habit now

Oh my, they grow so fast..........cherish the moments that he'll sleep on your chest because they'll be gone quickly.

As far as advice.......try putting him down during his waking hours so he gets use to that feeling. Try swaddling him in receiving blankets.

Congratulations!

I have used the 3 in 1 crib soother. If you go to target.com and type in "crib soother" you can see what it looks like. When the baby fusses it comes on and vibrates the crib or bassinet or whatever. YOu can also set it to come on with music. The only problem is it typically won't work with a monitor but if the bassinet or crib is in your room then that doesn't matter. It will work on a pack and play also.
Good luck!
E.

We too had a difficult time with our son (now 3yrs). Do you swaddle him? That seemed to work pretty well for us. Babies like to feel close, and swaddling seemed to fill that need. We also had a little teddy bear that played soothing heartbeat sounds, which gave him the feeling that we were near. It's not easy all of the time and sometimes you just have to give in, but stick with it! Pretty soon you'll be on here giving some good advice to a mom, reflecting on those difficult times and realizing you got through it! What a blessing children are!!!

Does your child have a "lovey"? If your son has one use that but if not get a blanket and sleep with it a few nights to get your scent on it then try putting your son down with the blanket. Good Luck